The Real Hard Sell

Chapter 3

Message-sec, in tone respect-admiration A, told him the Old Man was waiting for him. Susan, the human receptionist in the outer office, favored him with a dazzling smile. There was a girl who could sell; and had a product of her own, too.

The Old Man was at his big, oak desk but, a signal honor, he got up and came half across the room to grab Ben"s hand and shake it. "Got the full report, son. Checked the tapes already. That"s selling, boy! I"m proud of you. Tell you what, Ben. Instead of waiting for a sales slack, I"m going to move you and that sweet little wife of yours right into a spanking new, special Country Gentleman unit I had in mind for myself.

And a nice, fat boost in your credit rating has already gone down to accounting. Good? Good. Now, Ben, I have a real, artistic sales challenge that is crying for your talent."

"Sir? Thank you. But, sir, there is the matter of the vacation--"

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Vacation? Sure, Ben. Take a vacation anytime. But right now it seems to the Old Man you"re on a hot selling streak. I don"t want to see you get off the track, son; your interests are mine. And wait till you get your teeth into this one. Books, Ben boy. Books! People are spending all their time sitting in on Tri-deo, not reading. People should read more, Ben. Gives them that healthy tired feeling. Now we have the product. We have senior Robo-writers with more circuits than ever before. All possible information, every conceivable plot. Maybe a saturation guilt type campaign to start--but it"s up to you, Ben. I don"t care how you do it, but move books."

"Books, eh? Well, now." Ben was interested. "Funny thing, sir, but that ties in with something I was thinking about just last night."

"You have an angle? Good boy!"

"Yes, sir. Well, it is a wild thought maybe, but last summer when I was on vacation I met a man up at that new camp and--well, I know it sounds silly, but he was writing a book."

"Nonsense!"

"Just what I thought, sir. But I read some of it and, I don"t know, it had a sort of a feel about it. Something new, sir, it might catch on."

"All right, all right. That"s enough. You"re a salesman. You"ve sold me."

"On the book?" Ben was surprised.

"Quit pulling an old man"s leg, Ben. I"m sold on your needing a vacation. I"ll fill out your vacation pa.s.s right now." The Old Man, still a vigorous, vital figure, turned and walked back to his Desk-sec.

"Yes sir," said the secretarial voice, "got it. Vacation clearance for Tilman, Ben, any resort."

"And family," said Ben.

"And family. Very good, sir."

The Old Man made his sign on the pa.s.s and said heavily, "All right then, Ben. That"s it. Maybe if you go back up to that place for a few days and see that psycho who was writing a book again, perhaps you"ll realize how impractical it is."

"But sir! I"m serious about that book. It really did have--" he broke off.

The Old Man was sitting there, face blank, withdrawn. Ben could feel he wasn"t even listening. That d.a.m.ned hearing aid of his. The Old Man had cut it off. Suddenly, unreasoningly, Ben was furious. He stood by the huge desk and he reached across toward the hearing aid on the Old Man"s chest to turn up the volume. The Old Man looked up and saw Ben"s hand stretching out.

A sudden look of fear came into his china blue, clear eyes but he made no move. He sat frozen in his chair.

Ben hesitated a second. "What--?" But he didn"t have to ask. He knew.

And he also knew what he was going to do.

"No!" said the Old Man. "No, Ben. I"ve only been trying to help; trying to serve your best interests the best way I know. Ben, you mustn"t--"

But Ben moved forward.

He took the plastic box on the Old Man"s chest and firmly cut the switch.

The Old Man, the Robot Old Man, went lifeless and slumped back in his chair as Ben stretched to cut off the Desk-sec. Then he picked up his vacation clearance.

"Robots can"t sell, eh?" he said to the dead machine behind the desk.

"Well, you couldn"t sell me that time, could you, Old Man?"

Clumsily, rustily, Ben whistled a cheerful little off-key tune to himself. h.e.l.l, they could do anything at all--except sell.

"You can"t fool some of the people all of the time," he remarked over his shoulder to the still, silent figure of the Old Man as he left the office, "it was a man said that." He closed the door softly behind him.

Betty would be waiting.

Betty was waiting. Her head ached as she bounced Bennie, the child of Ben, of herself and of an unknown egg cell from an anonymous ovary, on her knees. Betty 3-RC-VIII, secret, wife-style model, the highest development of the art of Robotics had known instantly when Ben cut the Old Man"s switch. She had half expected it. But it made her headache worse.

"But d.a.m.n my programming!" She spoke abruptly, aloud, nervously fingering the locket around her neck. "d.a.m.n it and shift circuit. He"s right! He is my husband and he is right and I"m glad. I"m glad we"re going to the camp and I"m going to help him stay."

After all, why shouldn"t a man want to do things just as much as a robot? He had energy, circuits, feelings too. She knew he did.

For herself, she loved her Ben and Bennie. But still just that wasn"t enough occupation. She was glad they were going to the new isolation compound for non-psychotic but unstable, hyper-active, socially dangerous individual humans. At the camp there would be things to do.

At the camp they would be happy.

All at once the headache that had been bothering her so these past months was gone. She felt fine and she smiled at little Bennie.

"Bennie-boy," she said, kissing his smooth, untroubled baby forehead.

"Daddy"s coming." Bennie laughed and started to reach for the locket around Mommy"s neck. But just then the door opened and he jumped down to run and meet his daddy.

END

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