"Motomoe sprang forward involuntarily, and the sneer was chased from his face by an expression of solicitude. Then the beauty of the situation dawned on him, and he chuckled and grinned. No, I didn"t expect anything of him. Hadn"t he tried to knock me on the head? What could he do anyway? He didn"t know anything about engines.
"I yelled at the top of my lungs to Ferguson to shut off the engine, but the roar of the machinery drowned my voice. And there I stood, up to the elbow and feeding right on in. Yes, it did hurt. There were some astonishing twinges when special nerves were shredded and dragged out by the roots. But I remember that I was surprised at the time that it did not hurt worse.
"Motomoe made a movement that attracted my attention. At the same time he growled out loud, as if he hated himself, "I"m a fool."
What he had done was to pick up a cane-knife--you know the kind, as big as a machete and as heavy. And I was grateful to him in advance for putting me out of my misery. There wasn"t any sense in slowly feeding in till my head was crushed, and already my arm was pulped half way from elbow to shoulder, and the pulping was going right on. So I was grateful, as I bent my head to the blow.
""Get your head out of the way, you idiot!" he barked at me.
"And then I understood and obeyed. I was a big man, and he took two hacks to do it; but he hacked my arm off just outside the shoulder and dragged me back and laid me down on the cane.
"Yes, the sugar paid--enormously; and I built for the Princess the church of her saintly dream, and . . . she married me."
He partly a.s.suaged his thirst, and uttered his final word.
"Alackaday! Shuttlec.o.c.k and battle-dore. And this at, the end of it all, lined with boilerplate that even alcohol will not corrode and that only alcohol will tickle. Yet have I lived, and I kiss my hand to the dear dust of my Princess long asleep in the great mausoleum of King John that looks across the Vale of Manona to the alien flag that floats over the bungalow of the British Government House. . . "
Fatty pledged him sympathetically, and sympathetically drank out of his own small can. Bruce Cadogan Cavendish glared into the fire with implacable bitterness. He was a man who preferred to drink by himself. Across the thin lips that composed the cruel slash of his mouth played twitches of mockery that caught Fatty"s eye. And Fatty, making sure first that his rock-chunk was within reach, challenged.
"Well, how about yourself, Bruce Cadogan Cavendish? It"s your turn."
The other lifted bleak eyes that bored into Fatty"s until he physically betrayed uncomfortableness.
"I"ve lived a hard life," Slim grated harshly. "What do I know about love pa.s.sages?"
"No man of your build and make-up could have escaped them," Fatty wheedled.
"And what of it?" Slim snarled. "It"s no reason for a gentleman to boast of amorous triumphs."
"Oh, go on, be a good fellow," Fatty urged. "The night"s still young. We"ve still some drink left. Delarouse and I have contributed our share. It isn"t often that three real ones like us get together for a telling. Surely you"ve got at least one adventure in love you aren"t ashamed to tell about--"
Bruce Cadogan Cavendish pulled forth his iron quoit and seemed to debate whether or not he should brain the other. He sighed, and put back the quoit.
"Very well, if you will have it," he surrendered with manifest reluctance. "Like you two, I have had a remarkable const.i.tution.
And right now, speaking of armour-plate lining, I could drink the both of you down when you were at your prime. Like you two, my beginnings were far distant and different. That I am marked with the hall-mark of gentlehood there is no discussion . . . unless either of you care to discuss the matter now . . . "
His one hand slipped into his pocket and clutched the quoit.
Neither of his auditors spoke nor betrayed any awareness of his menace.
"It occurred a thousand miles to the westward of Manatomana, on the island of Tagalag," he continued abruptly, with an air of saturnine disappointment in that there had been no discussion. "But first I must tell you of how I got to Tagalag. For reasons I shall not mention, by paths of descent I shall not describe, in the crown of my manhood and the prime of my devilishness in which Oxford renegades and racing younger sons had nothing on me, I found myself master and owner of a schooner so well known that she shall remain historically nameless. I was running blackbird labour from the west South Pacific and the Coral Sea to the plantations of Hawaii and the nitrate mines of Chili--"
"It was you who cleaned out the entire population of--" Fatty exploded, ere he could check his speech.
The one hand of Bruce Cadogan Cavendish flashed pocketward and flashed back with the quoit balanced ripe for business.
"Proceed," Fatty sighed. "I . . . I have quite forgotten what I was going to say."
"Beastly funny country over that way," the narrator drawled with perfect casualness. "You"ve read this Sea Wolf stuff--"
"You weren"t the Sea Wolf," Whiskers broke in with involuntary positiveness.
"No, sir," was the snarling answer. "The Sea Wolf"s dead, isn"t he? And I"m still alive, aren"t I?"
"Of course, of course," Whiskers conceded. "He suffocated head- first in the mud off a wharf in Victoria a couple of years back."
"As I was saying--and I don"t like interruptions," Bruce Cadogan Cavendish proceeded, "it"s a beastly funny country over that way.
I was at Taki-Tiki, a low island that politically belongs to the Solomons, but that geologically doesn"t at all, for the Solomons are high islands. Ethnographically it belongs to Polynesia, Melanesia, and Micronesia, because all the breeds of the South Pacific have gravitated to it by canoe-drift and intricately, degeneratively, and amazingly interbred. The sc.u.m of the sc.r.a.pings of the bottom of the human pit, biologically speaking, resides in Taka-Tiki. And I know the bottom and whereof I speak.
"It was a beastly funny time of it I had, diving out sh.e.l.l, fishing beche-de-mer, trading hoop-iron and hatchets for copra and ivory- nuts, running n.i.g.g.e.rs and all the rest of it. Why, even in Fiji the Lotu was having a hard time of it and the chiefs still eating long-pig. To the westward it was fierce--funny little black kinky- heads, man-eaters the last Jack of them, and the jackpot fat and spilling over with wealth--"
"Jack-pots?" Fatty queried. At sight of an irritable movement, he added: "You see, I never got over to the West like Delarouse and you."
"They"re all head-hunters. Heads are valuable, especially a white man"s head. They decorate the canoe-houses and devil-devil houses with them. Each village runs a jack-pot, and everybody antes.
Whoever brings in a white man"s head takes the pot. If there aren"t openers for a long time, the pot grows to tremendous proportions. Beastly funny, isn"t it?
"I know. Didn"t a Holland mate die on me of blackwater? And didn"t I win a pot myself? It was this way. We were lying at Lango-lui at the time. I never let on, and arranged the affair with Johnny, my boat-steerer. He was a kinky-head himself from Port Moresby. He cut the dead mate"s head off and sneaked ash.o.r.e in the might, while I whanged away with my rifle as if I were trying to get him. He opened the pot with the mate"s head, and got it, too. Of course, next day I sent in a landing boat, with two covering boats, and fetched him off with the loot."
"How big was the pot?" Whiskers asked. "I heard of a pot at Orla worth eighty quid."
"To commence with," Slim answered, "there were forty fat pigs, each worth a fathom of prime sh.e.l.l-money, and sh.e.l.l-money worth a quid a fathom. That was two hundred dollars right there. There were ninety-eight fathoms of sh.e.l.l-money, which is pretty close to five hundred in itself. And there were twenty-two gold sovereigns. I split it four ways: one-fourth to Johnny, one-fourth to the ship, one-fourth to me as owner, and one-fourth to me as skipper. Johnny never complained. He"d never had so much wealth all at one time in his life. Besides, I gave him a couple of the mate"s old shirts.
And I fancy the mate"s head is still there decorating the canoe- house."
"Not exactly Christian burial of a Christian," Whiskers observed.
"But a lucrative burial," Slim retorted. "I had to feed the rest of the mate over-side to the sharks for nothing. Think of feeding an eight-hundred-dollar head along with it. It would have been criminal waste and stark lunacy.
"Well, anyway, it was all beastly funny, over there to the westward. And, without telling you the sc.r.a.pe I got into at Taki- Tiki, except that I sailed away with two hundred kinky-heads for Queensland labour, and for my manner of collecting them had two British ships of war combing the Pacific for me, I changed my course and ran to the westward thinking to dispose of the lot to the Spanish plantations on Bangar.
"Typhoon season. We caught it. The Merry Mist was my schooner"s name, and I had thought she was stoutly built until she hit that typhoon. I never saw such seas. They pounded that stout craft to pieces, literally so. The sticks were jerked out of her, deckhouses splintered to match-wood, rails ripped off, and, after the worst had pa.s.sed, the covering boards began to go. We just managed to repair what was left of one boat and keep the schooner afloat only till the sea went down barely enough to get away. And we outfitted that boat in a hurry. The carpenter and I were the last, and we had to jump for it as he went down. There were only four of us--"
"Lost all the n.i.g.g.e.rs?" Whiskers inquired.
"Some of them swam for some time," Slim replied. "But I don"t fancy they made the land. We were ten days" in doing it. And we had a spanking breeze most of the way. And what do you think we had in the boat with us? Cases of square-face gin and cases of dynamite. Funny, wasn"t it? Well, it got funnier later on. Oh, there was a small beaker of water, a little salt horse, and some salt-water-soaked sea biscuit--enough to keep us alive to Tagalag.
"Now Tagalag is the disappointingest island I"ve ever beheld. It shows up out of the sea so as you can make its fall twenty miles off. It is a volcano cone thrust up out of deep sea, with a segment of the crater wall broken out. This gives sea entrance to the crater itself, and makes a fine sheltered harbour. And that"s all. Nothing lives there. The outside and the inside of the crater are too steep. At one place, inside, is a patch of about a thousand coconut palms. And that"s all, as I said, saving a few insects. No four-legged thing, even a rat, inhabits the place.
And it"s funny, most awful funny, with all those coconuts, not even a coconut crab. The only meat-food living was schools of mullet in the harbour--fattest, finest, biggest mullet I ever laid eyes on.
"And the four of us landed on the little beach and set up housekeeping among the coconuts with a larder full of dynamite and square-face. Why don"t you laugh? It"s funny, I tell you. Try it some time.--Holland gin and straight coconut diet. I"ve never been able to look a confectioner"s window in the face since. Now I"m not strong on religion like Chauncey Delarouse there, but I have some primitive ideas; and my concept of h.e.l.l is an illimitable coconut plantation, stocked with cases of square-face and populated by ship-wrecked mariners. Funny? It must make the devil scream.
"You know, straight coconut is what the agriculturists call an unbalanced ration. It certainly unbalanced our digestions. We got so that whenever hunger took an extra bite at us, we took another drink of gin. After a couple of weeks of it, Olaf, a squarehead sailor, got an idea. It came when he was full of gin, and we, being in the same fix, just watched him shove a cap and short fuse into a stick of dynamite and stroll down toward the boat.
"It dawned on me that he was going to shoot fish if there were any about; but the sun was beastly hot, and I just reclined there and hoped he"d have luck.
"About half an hour after he disappeared we heard the explosion.
But he didn"t come back. We waited till the cool of sunset, and down on the beach found what had become of him. The boat was there all right, grounded by the prevailing breeze, but there was no Olaf. He would never have to eat coconut again. We went back, shakier than ever, and cracked another square-face.
"The next day the cook announced that he would rather take his chance with dynamite than continue trying to exist on coconut, and that, though he didn"t know anything about dynamite, he knew a sight too much about coconut. So we bit the detonator down for him, shoved in a fuse, and picked him a good fire-stick, while he jolted up with a couple more stiff ones of gin.
"It was the same programme as the day before. After a while we heard the explosion and at twilight went down to the boat, from which we sc.r.a.ped enough of the cook for a funeral.