I look at Millie and just start to laugh.
"What"s so funny?" She asks, uncertain about why I"m laughing.
"Doesn"t it seem a little ironic to you?" I ask, still giggling. "That barbecue is the devil"s favorite dish."
I see realization dawn and Millie laughs too.
"Well," she says, "should we make it or not?"
"Absolutely," I say flipping through Utha Mae"s cookbook and finding her instructions to make a special barbecue sauce. "Let"s get to work."
I tap the recipe and instantly hear Utha Mae begin her instructions.
"Ok, baby, first off you"re gonna need to gather up the following. Find you some brown sugar, mola.s.ses, cayenne pepper...."
For the rest of the afternoon, Millie and I work feverishly at making the meal for that evening. About an hour after we get started, Malcolm comes back home, and I immediately put him to work and place him in charge of making Utha Mae"s deviled egg recipe. The irony of that particular dish isn"t lost on me either, but they just sounded so good I had to have them. Millie makes a potato salad from the potatoes she already peeled. I find a recipe for a corn and black bean chopped salad and pan fried cornbread. Malcolm flips through the book and finds a recipe for a homemade apple pie. He soon locates Lucas, who was with Kyna and Brutus, and puts him to work peeling the required apples and rolling out the dough to make two pies.
By five o"clock, the meal is almost done and Millie shoos me out of the kitchen, telling me to go get ready for my guests who are due to arrive at six.
Malcolm prepares my bath for me, but doesn"t offer to join me in it. I think he can tell my nerves are frayed, and I simply need some time to myself to relax and mentally prepare for a possible disaster.
I know integrating Lucifer into my life will not be easy. For one, my husband hates him. Secondly, no one in my family seems to trust him, except for maybe Millie. During the years he secretly visited me on my birthdays, they seemed to develop a relationship I"m not even sure I understand.
"Anna?" I look towards the doorway and see Vala peek her head around the corner of the ajar door.
"Vala," I say in relief. "How did you know I needed someone to talk to?"
Vala pads into the room and comes to sit beside the tub.
"I didn"t," she confesses. "But your husband did. He thought you might like someone impartial to speak with."
I sigh and lean my back against the tub.
"Am I being selfish for pushing this on Malcolm?" I ask her. "Lucifer"s made him suffer through so much over the years. And now I"m asking him to welcome someone he thinks of as the enemy into our home."
"I think you need to do what"s best for you right now," Vala answers. "Malcolm seems to understand you need to get to know your real father better. And yes, they have had their differences over the years, but it"s you who they both love."
"Vala," I say, sitting up straighter as I suddenly realize something, "did you know that Lucifer used to visit me on my birthdays?"
"I did," she confesses reluctantly. "But I was sworn to secrecy and wasn"t at liberty to mention it to you. It"s how I know he loves you, Anna. I would see it in his eyes every year he came. When he stopped coming, it simply confirmed his feelings even more to me."
"Why?"
"Because I knew then that seeing you blossom into a young woman and not being able to share in your experiences was tearing him apart. It hurt him more to see you than to stay away. I a.s.sumed he thought keeping his distance would make his love for you diminish, but I think the opposite happened. He needs you just as much as you need him, Anna. If the two of you are able to better understand one another and form a true connection, perhaps you can save each other in the end."
I smile wanly as I realize Vala has just spoken my own thoughts aloud. In a way, it makes me feel justified in my decision.
"Thank you, Vala."
"As far as Malcolm goes," Vala continues, "he loves you more than I"ve ever seen a man love a woman. He simply wants what"s best for you. His relationship with Lucifer has been a tumultuous one up until now. It could be that you can act as a bridge between the two of them. You can be their common ground."
"That"s exactly what I was thinking! I hope they can find a way to be civil to one another."
"I believe for you they will try," Vala says confidently. "There is no stronger love than that of a parent for a child. It"s a forever love that can never be altered or taken away. I have faith that Lucifer will do what he can to keep you safe and happy. When he sees how happy Malcolm makes you, I don"t believe he will be able to disapprove of your marriage any longer."
"I hope you"re right," I say, leaning back against the end of the tub. "Otherwise this is going to be the most awkward dinner party in history."
Chapter 19.
I dress casually in a black turtleneck sweater and slacks. This get together isn"t meant to be fancy, just a low-key affair with friends and family. My greatest hope is that this won"t be the last time Lucifer comes to break bread with us. I want him to feel like he"s a part of my life, and I want to feel like I"m a part of his too.
"Don"t be nervous," Malcolm says, b.u.t.toning the cuff of one of his sleeves as he walks up to me. "I promise to be on my best behavior tonight."
"I"m not expecting everything to go exactly like I want," I tell him. "I have no delusions that Lucifer will fit perfectly into our family, but I do want him to find a place in our lives. I want him to feel like he can come to me if he wants to, even if it"s just to talk about my mother. He needs to share his memories of her with someone other than Helena. She"s just using him to become stronger, and that"s something I can"t tolerate any longer."
Malcolm loops his arms around my waist.
"If anyone can help him see what she"s doing to him, it"s you, my love. You helped me see how stupid I was being when I tried to push you away. I"m sure you can work the same sort of miracle with Lucifer."
"He can"t have a harder head than you, right?" I ask with a playful smile.
Malcolm grins and pulls me even closer. "It"s possible but doubtful. Plus, you"ve already claimed a small victory. He"s coming to dinner, isn"t he?"
"What did the others think about sitting down to share a meal with Lucifer?" I ask. "Do they think I"m insane?"
"I wouldn"t necessarily say insane, an eternal optimist perhaps but not insane. We all want what"s best for you, Anna. If you think having Lucifer be a part of your life is what"s best, then we fully support your decision."
"Thank you," I say, laying my head on his partially bare chest.
I had to admit that I liked Malcolm"s hot-blooded nature. Every time he wore a b.u.t.ton down shirt, he always left the first four b.u.t.tons undone for added ventilation. Honestly, if you had his chest, why wouldn"t you show it off?
"Now let"s go down," Malcolm says pulling back and taking one of my hands with his. "They"ll be here in a couple of minutes."
As we descend the staircase, I hear the voices of our friends already in the sitting room talking to one another. The front door bell rings, and I know there is only one guest who would think he needed to do such a thing before entering our home. Malcolm stays close by my side as I answer the door.
Lucifer stands on the stoop holding a bouquet of white and pink roses and a bottle of some sort of liquor. He"s wearing a pair of smoky grey slacks and a dark grey cardigan sweater with a white b.u.t.ton down shirt underneath. His shoulder length, blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail positioned at the nape of his neck. The expression on his face shows his uncertainty about tonight, but I feel an effortless smile stretch my lips in spite of it.
"Welcome to our home," I tell him, stepping away from the opening so he can enter.
Lucifer steps inside, and I close the door behind him.
"These are for you," he tells me, handing me the bouquet of flowers.
"Thank you," I say, taking them from him and smelling their sweet fragrance almost immediately.
Lucifer turns to face Malcolm and holds out the bottle of whatever it is he has.
"And this is for you," Lucifer tells Malcolm. "I thought you might need it either during tonight"s little get together or afterwards."
Malcolm looks at the label and actually smiles.
"Macallan M," Malcolm says almost reverently as he reads the label aloud. "How long have you been keeping this?"
"A long time," Lucifer admits. "I figured if you didn"t need a drink of the best whiskey ever made, I might."
"I see no reason not to pop her open at the beginning of this evening," Malcolm says. "Might even help things a bit."
"I would have to agree."
"Oh what beautiful flowers," Millie says, walking up from the back of the house towards us. "Let me take those, my sweet. I know just where to put them."
"Thank you, Millie."
"I came to tell you that dinner will be served in about ten minutes," Millie informs us.
"Thank you again."
Millie walks back towards the kitchen.
"Come on, Lucifer," Malcolm says, heading into the sitting room. "Let"s see if this whiskey has held up over the years."
Malcolm takes the lead, and Lucifer and I walk side by side behind him.
"Thank you for not backing out of coming," I whisper to him. "I know it"s not easy for you to be here."
"It may end up being awkward for you too," Lucifer says. "Your friends don"t exactly like me very much."
"I"ll be happy if you can all at least tolerate one another," I say, trying to keep my expectations about the evening extremely low.
"Tolerance I may be able to achieve," Lucifer comments dryly.
When we walk into the room, all eyes turn to us.
Desmond raises a skeptical eyebrow in our direction. Brutus looks brooding. Jered looks ambivalent, and Daniel looks neutral. Only Linn seems to remember her manners and walks over to us.
"Lucifer, I would like to introduce you to Linn, Daniel"s wife."
Linn holds out her hand to Lucifer who in turn stares at it for a moment before accepting her polite gesture.
"It"s so good to finally meet you," Linn says.
"Really?" Lucifer asks skeptically. "Most people would consider it a blessing never to meet me within their lifetime."
Linn smiles in spite of Lucifer"s statement. "Well, I"m not one of them. You"re important to Anna, which makes you important to the rest of us. I think we all realize you"re only here for her sake. We"re thankful for that. She needs all of the support she can get right now."
"Agreed," Malcolm says, walking over to us with two short gla.s.ses filled a quarter of the way with the amber colored whiskey Lucifer gave him.
Lucifer takes the gla.s.s and drinks it in one swig. He hands the empty tumbler back to Malcolm.
"I"ll get you another one," Malcolm says, walking back to the small table behind the couch to retrieve the bottle and pour more whiskey into Lucifer"s gla.s.s.
"Well, I can"t just stand here and not get a gla.s.s of Macallan too," Desmond says, walking over to the table.
"Help yourself," Malcolm encourages, bringing Lucifer his second serving of whiskey.
I begin to wonder if all the men will be drunk by the end of the evening. In fact, it was a brilliant idea to bring the whiskey and take the edge off all of them. I silently thank Lucifer for his forethought.
"We should probably go into the dining room," I tell everyone, noticing someone very important missing.
"Where is Lucas?" I ask to no one in particular.
"He and Bai are in his room playing," Linn tells me. "Vala is watching out for them while we have dinner."
It was a good idea. There was no telling what might transpire during the meal, and I didn"t want Lucas anywhere near if things blew up in our faces.
Once we all reach the dining room, Malcolm takes his seat at the head of the table, and I sit on his right hand side. Lucifer takes the seat right across from me to Malcolm"s left. Everyone else fills in the remaining seats, and I catch myself smiling when I see Brutus hold out Kyna"s chair for her.
Millie soon arrives in the room carrying the flowers Lucifer brought me. She"s arranged them beautifully in a crystal vase. She sets the vase behind Malcolm on the buffet server. Giles walks in pushing the silver cart with the meal we prepared.
After everyone is served, the real test of the evening begins...small talk.
"Millie said barbecued ribs were your favorite," I tell Lucifer. "I was able to find a recipe in Utha Mae"s recipe book. I hope you like them."
"Utha Mae?" Lucifer says, mulling the name over. "Why does that name sound so familiar?"
"She was Tara"s grandmother and like a mother to Lilly," Malcolm reminds Lucifer. "You know... the nice old woman you scared into having a heart attack back when you were trying to destroy the universe."
And so it begins, I think to myself.
"Oh...yes," Lucifer answers. "I remember her now."
"I"m sure you"ve been responsible for the deaths of so many people over the years that you can"t be bothered to remember them all."
"Malcolm," I admonish, seeing this evening take a turn for the worse before it"s even been given a chance to start.
I watch as Lucifer"s jaw muscles tighten and loosen, as if he"s biting his tongue in order to give himself time to think about his response.
"There are things about my past and about me now that I cannot change," Lucifer finally says in a far calmer voice than I expected. "But I am here to try and let things from our shared history remain there for the time being, Malcolm. If you"re going to dredge up everything that I"ve done since we"ve known each other, I might as well leave now. I can"t change what I did. I"m only here to do what I can for Anna."
I place one hand on top of Malcolm"s closest to me on the table, giving him a silent plea to stop antagonizing Lucifer on purpose.