"Come on, baby girl," Utha Mae says, looping an arm around one of mine. "I"ll bet you anything you haven"t had a meal on Earth like me and Tara made for you today."
"I made dinner for eight people last night," I say proudly. "All by myself."
Everyone stops walking and stares at me as if I just grew a second head.
"You can cook?" Caylin asks, looking sure I must have meant something else.
I nod my head. "Yes. Malcolm taught me."
"Oh my G.o.d," Jess says, her eyes wide in wonder as she looks at me. "You are the chosen one."
"Oh stop teasing her," Lilly tells Jess with a laugh.
"Seriously, Lilly, this is monumental!" Jess professes. "No descendant of yours and Caylin"s could boil water much less cook a meal for a dinner party. What exactly did you cook, Anna?"
I tell them what I prepared for everyone the night before.
"Yep, miracle child," Jess says as if my words were confirmation of the fact. "But, I guess we all knew that already. This just puts proof in the pudding."
"Quit picking on my baby," Utha Mae says, gently tugging on my arm so we can continue our walk to the back of the house.
When we enter the kitchen, a mixture of aromas that make me feel more at home welcomes me.
"It smells so good in here," I say, breathing in deeply. Just like with Utha Mae, the scent of the food makes me feel a sense of dej vu. "Did you cook this kind of food when I stayed with you?"
Utha Mae smiles at me. "Well of course I did, child. And I want you to let Malcolm know I taught you how to cook before he did."
I can"t help but smile at this new bit of information.
"He thinks he worked a miracle with me," I tell her.
"Well, we can"t let him take all the credit now, can we?" Utha Mae says, letting go of my arm. "Otherwise, he might get a little too big for his britches."
"That man"s ego has always been a little too big for his britches," Tara says. "Though, from what I"ve heard, you"ve pretty much got him wrapped around your little finger, Anna."
"I wouldn"t say wrapped," I tell her, feeling a little embarra.s.sed by the suggestion. "He just wants to make me happy."
"Wrapped," Jess agrees. "About time too. I always knew Malcolm was all ooey gooey soft underneath that tough exterior. He just needed the right woman to bring out that side of him."
I look over at Lilly thinking about Malcolm"s memories involving her. Of anyone in the room, she knew the true Malcolm that he kept hidden from most people. Lilly meets my gaze, and in that moment, we seem to have a silent understanding with one another. She was once the object of Malcolm"s affections, but I can see in her eyes that she knows she was simply a placeholder for me until I was ready to become a part of Malcolm"s life.
"He"s so lucky to have you, Anna," Lilly tells me. "And I know you"ll be good to him and love him unconditionally. It"s the way he was always meant to be loved."
"Well, I"m just glad that man is finally settling down," Tara says. "He"s been running wild ever since all of us died. It"s about time he got married and started a real family."
Tara"s statement brings to mind a question.
"Utha Mae," I say as I watch her take out a pan of cornbread from the oven, "I was told Malcolm and I will have twins in the future. Have you met them yet?"
It seemed like a logical question to ask. I had apparently spent a great deal of time in Heaven before I was born. Perhaps Utha Mae or one of the others had already met my children.
I don"t like the look that comes over Utha Mae"s face. She looks troubled by my inquiry.
"No, baby girl, I haven"t met them."
No one else says anything. Therefore, I have to a.s.sume none of them has met my future children either.
"Is that odd?" I ask, not knowing what the protocol for new souls is in Heaven. Maybe not everyone is able to spend time here before they"re born.
Utha Mae hesitates before saying, "The good Lord has always allowed me to spend some time with all the descendants before they"re sent to Earth, but maybe the souls of your children just haven"t been made yet, baby."
I suspect she"s deflecting my question with her suggestion, but I decide not to demand a more thorough answer. For one, I don"t think she knows anything more than she"s saying and there would be no point in asking questions she obviously can"t answer.
Utha Mae fills a plate for me with a little bit of all the food present. Some of it I recognize and some of it I don"t. I must have a perplexed look on my face as she hands me the plate because she tells me what"s on it and points to each item as she does.
"I remembered all of your favorites from when you were here with me," she says. "There"s cornbread, collard greens, yams, deep fried pork chop with white gravy, and chicken and dumplings."
"It looks delicious," I tell her. "Thank you."
"You"re more than welcome, child."
After we"ve all taken a seat around the small table in the kitchen, the ladies begin to ask me questions about my life and everything that"s happened so far. I don"t tell them about going to h.e.l.l or learning about what the seals might to do me. I don"t want to dampen their spirits with talk about the worst possible outcome of my mission. From Jered"s brief history lesson about my family, I learned what each of them did to accomplish their own missions from G.o.d. I know they"ve faced the same sort of dangers I"m facing now and made it through in one piece. Coming from such a strong lineage of women, I feel confident I can add my name to the list of descendants who were victorious.
"So," Tara says to me after she"s finished her meal and leans back in her chair. "Tonight"s the night, right?"
"Yes," I tell her, putting my fork down on my plate. "We"re finally having the wedding tonight."
"Yeah, not really what I was talking about," Tara says with a lifted eyebrow. "Girl, you ever been with a man?"
"Aunt Tara," Caylin says admonishingly, "don"t you think that"s kind of personal?"
"We"re all family here," Tara says in justification of her question. "I just want to make sure she"s prepared for what"s gonna happen after the wedding." Tara looks from Caylin back over at me. "If it"s something you haven"t done with a man before, I just want to make sure you know what to expect. Malcolm"s...well...to put it bluntly...a lot bigger downstairs than most men. I just don"t want you to get scared by that thing."
"Aunt Tara!" Caylin says. "How on earth would you even know something like that?"
Tara just waves a dismissive hand at Caylin. "Never you mind about that. I just know."
I have to admit that I"m a bit curious how Tara knows such a thing as well.
"I"m fully aware of Malcolm"s...endowments," I say, earning the stares of everyone at the table.
"Oh," Tara says, caught off guard by my answer. "So have the two of you already..."
She seems reluctant to say the rest of her question. So, I finish it for her.
"Made love?" I say. "No, we haven"t. Malcolm wanted to wait until after we"d made our vows to one another in front of G.o.d before we consummated our relationship in that way."
"He did?" Jess asks, sounding truly astonished. "Well, I"ll be d.a.m.ned. I didn"t realize Malcolm had that sort of restraint. I mean look at you, Anna. You"re gorgeous! Not many men would be able to hold back like that. And considering how much he loves you, I"m doubly impressed."
"I knew Malcolm would be that way with someone he truly loves," Lilly says with a proud smile on her face. "I"m sure he just wants to make things as perfect as he can for you both. He knows this will only happen once in either of your lives, and he doesn"t want to rush something he"s been waiting an eternity for."
"Aiden and I waited until after marriage too," Caylin tells me. "I appreciated the fact he wanted to wait, even if it did drive me completely crazy. It was important for him to prove to himself that he had that much self-control, and I understood and respected that. So I didn"t push the matter too much."
"I"ve pushed," I admit, a little ashamed at some of my prodding of Malcolm. "But I"m glad he"s made me wait. It"ll just make the experience that much sweeter I think."
"Uh, you do realize your first time probably won"t be too storybook, right?" Tara says.
I feel at a bit of a loss.
"I"m sorry," I say. "I"m not completely sure I understand what you"re trying to tell me."
"I think what my granddaughter is trying to say, in her own subtle way, is that it will most likely hurt your first time, baby girl," Utha Mae says.
"Oh, that," I say, understanding what they"re talking about now. "Yes, I understand what will happen. I"m prepared for it."
"I"m sure Malcolm will know how to make it as painless as possible for you," Lilly says confidently.
"It will hurt," Caylin tells me, "but the discomfort will pa.s.s, and my mom"s right. If anyone knows how to make it a beautiful experience in spite of that pain, it will be Uncle Malcolm. Aiden helped me through it, and I don"t see Uncle Malcolm being any less compa.s.sionate about it with you."
"I wish I"d waited for Malik," Tara says with a deep sigh of regret. "If I"d waited for someone who truly loved me, I think my first time would have been a lot better, and a memory I would actually want to remember."
"I truly don"t have any worries," I tell them. "Since the moment I saw Malcolm, I"ve wanted to make love to him. I"m not afraid of the pain. It"ll all be worth it in the end."
Without warning, I suddenly feel a sense of melancholy enter the room like a physical ent.i.ty dampening the happy mood we"re all in. It"s a strange sensation, and not one I would have expected to feel in Heaven.
I notice Lilly, Caylin, and Jess all sit up a little straighter in their chairs at almost the same instant.
"Thank goodness," Jess says in relief, looking over at me.
"I didn"t think she would be able to stay away," Caylin says with a smile.
I lift a hand to my heart because there"s an ache there now that wasn"t there before.
"Is my mother here?" I ask, piecing together the meaning of what Caylin said and the sense of loss I feel.
"Yes," Lilly tells me. "She"s here."
"Is it her sadness I"m feeling?" I ask Lilly.
"Yes."
"Is it because she"s separated from Lucifer?"
Lilly nods her head, and I see every woman around the table sympathize with my mother"s plight.
"How am I able to feel her pain?" I ask.
"We can all feel it," Jess tells me. "Her soul is the only one in Heaven to retain the sadness she felt on Earth. It"s so powerful that anyone who"s around Amalie can feel her anguish."
"Does she blame me?" I ask, needing to know the answer to this question before I speak with my mother.
"Oh heaven"s no, baby girl," Utha Mae a.s.sures me. "If anything, I think she feels guilty for having to leave you when she did. Go to her, child. Let her explain things to you."
Lilly stands from the table and holds out her hand to me.
"I think it"s time you met your mom, Anna," she says.
My heart races into my throat, and I feel apprehensive all of a sudden at the prospect of facing my mother. I will my heart to beat at a calmer pace and place my hand into Lilly"s hand. After I stand from my chair, we walk out of the kitchen back towards the front door. Lilly squeezes my hand rea.s.suringly, and I draw courage from her strength as I prepare myself to meet the woman who sacrificed everything just to give me life.
Chapter 6.
When Lilly places her hand on the doork.n.o.b, I say, "Wait."
Lilly takes her hand away from the k.n.o.b and looks at me.
"I"m scared," I say, finding it a hard thing to admit. "She gave up so much to have me. What if I haven"t lived up to her expectation? What if she tells me I"ve disappointed her in some way?"
"How could you possibly be a disappointment to her?" Lilly asks, looking mystified at my sudden reluctance to meet my mother.
"Lucifer said she asked him to raise me. He lied to her on her deathbed, Lilly. He told her he would but he lied."
"Do you honestly think she didn"t know that at the time?"
I feel confused for a moment, but then remember one trait I"ve always had, being able to know when someone was telling me the truth or lying to my face. It makes sense that my mother would have had the same ability.
"Still," I say, "I think she was hoping he would change his mind and raise me. What if she was counting on me to develop a relationship with him and force him to change his ways?"
"She"s your mother, Anna. All any mother wants is for her child to have a full and happy life. However, you could be right about one thing. She might have hoped Lucifer would learn something about himself by raising you. Nevertheless, maybe all she hoped for was that he would develop an understanding about what it feels like to love someone else more than he does himself. Very few parents place their own needs above those of their children. And those who do usually aren"t good parents."
I understand what Lilly is saying. I might not have been Lucas" biological mother, but I did consider him my son. I knew I would walk through the fires of h.e.l.l itself if it meant keeping him safe.
"Come on," Lilly says, tugging on my hand slightly. "I know what it cost her to come here today. Don"t sadden her even more by hiding away from her."
I hesitate for a moment then nod my head, knowing Lilly is right.
Lilly grabs the doork.n.o.b once again, and I don"t stop her this time.
The sweet fragrance of the flowers on the porch helps calm my frayed nerves. Their aroma welcomes me as I step out into the light of a Heavenly day. The familiar creak of the chains on the porch swing automatically draws my attention. It"s not empty anymore. My mother is sitting on it now with her right hand wrapped around the chain as she looks off into the distance at the snowcapped mountain range surrounding us.
She"s even lovelier in person than any of her pictures or videos. Tiny wisps of her long brown hair flutter in the wind, giving her presence an ethereal quality. Her hair is cut short in the front, falling straight against her forehead to act as a frame around her face.