Forgiveness.
‘The patient has an existing leg injury,’ the doctor said. ‘Having a ladder fall on the patient put more pressure on the patient’s body. I’m sorry we couldn’t save the patient’s baby.’
The three men stood frozen. One man lost his child and the other two men lost their niece or nephew.
‘Du Lei Xin you MF!’ Gu Jiao Wu cursed.
Gu Jiao Wen restrained Gu Jiao Wu’s arm to stop Gu Jiao Wu from punching Du Lei Xin again. Gu Jiao Wen remembered how he blamed himself for Tan Pan Ting’s miscarrying their first child. Gu Jiao Wen understood Du Lei Xin never wished for Gu Jiao Mai to miscarry Du Lei Xin’s child.
‘Big brother, this isn’t the right time to point fingers,’ Gu Jiao Wen said. ‘We need to focus on how to help Jiao Mai’s body recover. My mum will be here soon to be with Jiao Mai.’
‘I’ll call the best surgeons and orthopedists to consult with Jiao Mai about options to treat her leg injury,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
Gu Jiao Wen nodded his head, and he let go of Gu Jiao Wu’s arm.
Chen Ting Yu and Gu Qi Jiang rushed to the hospital. When Chen Ting Yu heard the news Gu Jiao Mai was pregnant but miscarried after the accident, Chen Ting Yu cried for another lost grandchild.
In Gu Jiao Mai’s hospital room, Chen Ting Yu looked at the men’s solemn faces. She saw Du Lei Xin’s bruised face and deduced he was the father of her lost grandchild.
In the afternoon Gu Jiao Mai woke up. She didn’t care about the people around her. She rubbed her stomach, and felt the void in her heart widen.
Du Lei Xin held Gu Jiao Mai’s hand.
‘Jiao Mai, how are you feeling?’ Du Lei Xin asked. ‘Where does it hurt? Do want to drink something?’
Gu Jiao Mai couldn’t look at Du Lei Xin and not remember seeing him in bed with another woman. She looked at her family members who loved her.
‘Is my baby gone?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked Chen Ting Yu.
‘Jiao Mai, you don’t have to be like this,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘In the future will have another child together.’
Gu Jiao Mai pulled her hand out of Du Lei Xin’s hand. She closed her eyes to not cry. When she opened her eyes again, she looked pleadingly at Chen Ting Yu.
‘Mum, I want to go home,’ Gu Jiao Mai said.
Gu Jiao Mai didn’t want to see Du Lei Xin.
‘Jiao Mai… you need to stay here for monitoring,’ Chen Ting Yu said.
Chen Ting Yu wanted to cry seeing the blank helplessness in Gu Jiao Mai’s eyes. Five years ago, after Gu Jiao Mai returned home after being kidnapped, she saw the same look in Gu Jiao Mai’s eyes.
‘Mum, it’s the same situation even if I’m at home,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘Mum, take me home.’
‘Jiao Mai, listen to your mum,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I invited a famous surgeon for you, Dr. Locker to consult you about a leg surgery. Dr. Locker said there is a sixty percent chance you’ll recover your leg movements post-surgery. But if you don’t have a leg surgery soon, you’ll be confined in a wheelchair for the rest of your life.’
‘Big brother, who said I want to have a leg surgery?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked. ‘Mum, take me home.’
‘Big sister!’ Gu Jiao Wen said. ‘You have a chance to walk again. Why won’t you seize the chance given to you?’
‘Gu Jiao Wen, whether I have a leg surgery or not is my choice,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘Mum, I want to go home.’
‘Enough,’ Gu Qi Jiang said. ‘Jiao Mai, don’t be unreasonable. You need to think of your health, and stay in the hospital to recover.’
‘Dad…’ Gu Jiao Mai called.
It was the first time Gu Qi Jiang used a stern tone of voice to talk to Gu Jiao Mai.
‘Jiao Mai, if you want to go home then you can walk home,’ Gu Qi Jiang said. He let Gu Jiao Mai have her way since she was kidnapped, because he felt guilty he didn’t protect her as a father. But he wasn’t going to let Gu Jiao Mai ruin her last chance to walk again. ‘No one here is allowed to take Jiao Mai home.’
‘Dad, if you want me to have a leg surgery then I will,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘On one condition. Get rid of this stranger.’
‘Big sister…’ Gu Jiao Wen called.
‘If no one gets rid of this stranger, I’ll crawl home myself,’ Gu Jiao Mai threatened.
‘Jiao Mai… I’ll go,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘Have a good night sleep. Tomorrow I’ll come back to see you again.’
Gu Jiao Mai closed her eyes like she couldn’t hear Du Lei Xin.
Du Lei Xin reluctantly left the room.
‘Jiao Mai, are you hungry?’ Chen Ting Yu asked. ‘I’ll ask aunty to bring a home cooked meal for you.’
‘Mum, I’m not hungry,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘I’m tired and I want to sleep. Everyone can leave.’
‘But…’ Chen Ting Yu said.
‘No but,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘I’m not a child. Go home and take care of the twins.’
‘Everyone should go home and let Jiao Mai sleep,’ Gu Qi Jiang said.
Outside the hospital room, Gu Jiao Wen stalled Gu Jiao Wu.
‘Big brother did you know about Jiao Mai and Lei Xin?’ Gu Jiao Wen asked.
‘Yes,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I found out about them last year.’
‘Last year?’ Gu Jiao Wen asked. ‘How come I didn’t know anything about them being together?’
‘What would you know?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘You’re a slave to Pan Ting and the twins. You’ve forgotten you have a big brother and a big sister.’
Gu Jiao Wen didn’t deny he had neglected Gu Jiao Mai after Tan Pan Ting gave birth to their boys.
‘Forget it,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘Go home and ask aunty to send someone to deliver nutritious food for Jiao Mai. I’ll stay here with her. You’re useless if you stay here, and only worry about being away from Pan Ting and the twins.’
Gu Jiao Wen couldn’t deny the truth so he drove home.
Gu Jiao Wu walked back into Gu Jiao Mai’s room.
‘Big brother, why are you still here?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked.
‘I’m worried about you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘What is there to worry about me?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked.
Gu Jiao Wu sat on the chair next to Gu Jiao Mai’s bed.
‘If you were pregnant, why didn’t you two get married?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘I heard a ladder fell on you. How did it happen?’
‘Big brother, I don’t want to talk about it,’ Gu Jiao Mai said.
‘Jiao Mai, Lei Xin loves you…’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘What love?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked. ‘If he loves me why did he sleep with another woman on the same bed he slept with me? If that is what you call love then there is something wrong with my eyes.’
‘What?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘Lei Xin wouldn’t be unfaithful to you. He loved you for years.’
‘I saw him in bed with another woman,’ Gu Jiao Mai said. ‘Last night I found out I was pregnant. It was hard for me to decide to tell him I was pregnant. But I didn’t expect to see him in bed with another woman when I went to see him this morning.’
‘Jiao Mai, perhaps it’s a misunderstanding,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Really?’ Gu Jiao Mai asked. ‘Big brother, I want to sleep.’
‘Jiao Mai…’ Gu Jiao Wu called.
Chen Ting Yu returned to Gu Jiao Mai’s room with soup, and Gu Jiao Wu left to get answers from Du Lei Xin.
Later in Du Lei Xin’s living room, he gestured for Gu Jiao Wu to sit on the sofa.
‘Big brother, if you want to beat me to death I won’t stop you,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘I deserve to die.’
Gu Jiao Wu shoved Du Lei Xin on the sofa.
‘You MF!’ Gu Jiao Wu cursed. ‘If you loved Jiao Mai for years, how could you be unfaithful to Jiao Mai?’
‘She told you?’ Du Lei Xin asked. It was his chance to provoke Gu Jiao Wu to kill him. ‘It’s true I slept with another woman in the same bed I slept with Jiao Mai. So what? At least when I slept with another woman, in my heart there is only Jiao Mai. What about Jiao Mai? She sleeps with me, but in her heart there is only Liang Hao Cheng.’
Du Lei Xin kicked the coffee table.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, you’re a man,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘How would you feel if the woman you loved slept with you while thinking about another man? How would you feel if the woman you loved didn’t love you, and she couldn’t let go memories of another man? Her body is with me, but her heart is somewhere else. Do you understand how tiring it is to compete with a dead man?’
‘Impossible… Jiao Mai wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t love you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Why is it impossible?’ Du Lei Xin.
Du Lei Xin regretted he didn’t know Gu Jiao Mai was pregnant. It was his fault she lost their child. He didn’t know she would come to see him in the morning to tell him she was pregnant.
‘Big brother, I’ve loved Jiao Mai for most my life,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘Since our school years, in my heart there was only Jiao Mai. If she’s happy, I’m happy. If she’s sad, I’m sad. When she was engaged with another man, I was heartbroken. But I told myself as long as she’s happy, I’m happy.’
Gu Jiao Wu silently listened to Du Lei Xin’s explanation.
‘After Liang Hao Cheng died, I thought it’s my chance to be with Jiao Mai,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘I did everything to get Jiao Mai to see me. If she lost sleep, I lost sleep. If her heart aches, my heart aches. If she needs time, I gave her time. If she wants to keep our relationship private, I didn’t tell our parents my intention to marry her. I’m a fool. I thought after four years even if her heart’s frozen, I could melt her frozen heart.’
Gu Jiao Wu didn’t know what to say.
‘But I was wrong,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘Her heart’s frozen in time. Her heart doesn’t want to let go of Liang Hao Cheng. Sometimes I resent Liang Hao Cheng for dying. If he’s alive, I can compete with him above ground. But he’s six feet under, and I’m alive. How can I compete with a dead person?’
Gu Jiao Wu didn’t stop Du Lei Xin drinking a gla.s.s of wine.
‘I know if Liang Hao Cheng is still alive then I wouldn’t have a chance to be with Jiao Mai,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘The truth is I’m lucky Liang Hao Cheng is dead, and I got a chance to be with Jiao Mai. But Liang Hao Cheng is alive in Jiao Mai’s heart. There’s no room for me in Jiao Mai’s heart.’
Gu Jiao Wu’s body stiffened. Du Lei Xin’s words made him remember Qiao Tan Yuan’s words, ‘It’s good she’s dead. If she’s alive, I won’t have a chance to be with you.’
Gu Jiao Wu sat on the sofa lifeless. His thoughts were about Qiao Tan Yuan.
‘I am a MF,’ Du Lei Xin said. ‘Last night a hostess asked if I wanted her to serve me. I didn’t reject her offer, and I brought her home. I wanted to show Jiao Mai, I didn’t need her. The truth is I need Jiao Mai. I didn’t do anything with the hostess, we only slept in the same bed. This morning, Jiao Mai walked into my bedroom and I regretted wanting to hurt Jiao Mai. I chased after Jiao Mai to explain, and to ask her to forgive me for hurting her. She wheeled her wheelchair faster. She didn’t see where she was going, and she b.u.mped into a ladder. The ladder fell onto her body… I didn’t know she was pregnant. If I knew I wouldn’t have…’
Du Lei Xin laughed at his own stupidity.
‘You can’t bring the baby back,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘But you can take responsibility for your actions. Go and beg Jiao Mai for forgiveness.’
‘Forgiveness?’ Du Lei Xin asked. ‘Jiao Mai won’t forgive me. I’ve hurt her, and killed our baby. Would you forgive me if you’re Jiao Mai?’
End of Chapter 133