Courage.
‘Qiao Tan Yuan, I love you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
Qiao Tan Yuan felt caged by Gu Jiao Wu. His hard chest pressed against her back, and wind blew through the windows. She shivered. She didn’t know what to do about Gu Jiao Wu.
Gu Jiao Wu felt Qiao Tan Yuan shiver. He let go of her, took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
‘It’s cold today,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘Why didn’t you wear warmer clothes?’
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t want Gu Jiao Wu’s scent on her body, because his scent brought back too many painful memories.
‘You…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan couldn’t ask if Gu Jiao Wu saying he loved her was real. She didn’t believe it herself.
‘What’s wrong?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
Qiao Tan Yuan shook her head, and took off Gu Jiao Wu’s jacket. He put it back on her shoulders, and showed her around the apartment.
‘Upstairs is the same layout,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘Next time I’ll take you to meet the architect, and you can ask the architect to make changes to suit your taste. It’s getting late, I’ll drive you home.’
Gu Jiao Wu walked Qiao Tan Yuan to the elevators. Inside the elevator his cologne, and natural body scent made her remember how she used to always want be near him. No other man had the same soothing body scent as him. He held her tightly in the elevator, and kissed her until the elevator doors opened.
The elevator doors opened, and Gu Jiao Wu led the blushing Qiao Tan Yuan to his car.
‘We’re husband and wife,’ Gu Jiao Wu said and smiled. ‘What’s there to be embarra.s.sed about?’
‘Who wants to be husband and wife with you?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked. ‘We have no relations with each other.’
‘Are you sure we have no relations with each other?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
Gu Jiao Wu opened the front pa.s.senger door for Qiao Tan Yuan, and walked to the driver seat. After they were sitting in his car, he locked the doors.
‘Soon you’ll be Mrs Gu,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Who wants to be Mrs Gu?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked. ‘There are men lining up to marry me. Do you think I can’t live without you?’
Gu Jiao Wu drove to the Qiao Mansion, and thought carefully before answering Qiao Tan Yuan’s question. He didn’t want to say in the past she said she’d rather die than let go of the t.i.tle of Mrs Gu, because he wanted to start fresh with her. The less he mentioned their past the better.
‘You can live without me but I can’t live without you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know how to deal the drastic change in Gu Jiao Wu’s behavior. At least in the past she understood when he was unhappy and angry. But the Gu Jiao Wu driving her home, and telling her sweet lies was hard to understand.
Later when Qiao Tan Yuan and Gu Jiao Wu entered the nursery, Xiao Bao was awake and hungry. Qiao Tan Yuan carried Xiao Bao to her bedroom, and she was no longer surprised he followed her to her bedroom. But she always felt shy breast feeding Xiao Bao in front of him.
‘What are you staring at Mr Pervert?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
‘How do you know I’m a pervert?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘Have you seen a pervert before?’
‘You…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan thought it was pointless talking to a thick face pervert. She looked down at Xiao Bao’s adorable small face, and wished Xiao Bao would be full soon. A while later Xiao Bao was full and burped. She held Xiao Bao’s small hand, and smiled at Xiao Bao.
Gu Jiao Wu saw Qiao Tan Yuan smiled at Xiao Bao like Xiao Bao was Qiao Tan Yuan’s world, and he thought even a fierce woman like Qiao Tan Yuan was gentle with their daughter.
Qiao Tan Yuan carried Xiao Bao to the nursery, and let Mrs Chu play with Xiao Bao. She returned to her bedroom, Gu Jiao Wu closed the door, and kissed her lips fiercely.
‘Whenever I watch you breast feed Xiao Bao, I want to kiss you like this,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, you’re…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Gu Jiao Wu bit Qiao Tan Yuan’s lips.
‘Qiao Tan Yuan, you’re mine,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘Give us a chance.’
‘I…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She did love Gu Jiao Wu, but it wasn’t enough. ‘I don’t have the courage to be with you anymore. Your constant rejection of me in the past made my courage disappear. Can you understand why I’m tired of waiting for you, and don’t have the courage to be with you?’
‘What if I won’t make you tired anymore?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘I want to give you a better life, and I don’t want you to be tired.’
Gu Jiao Wu couldn’t let Qiao Tan Yuan go. At night, he would wish Qiao Tan Yuan would always sleep in his arms. During the day, he would think about Qiao Tan Yuan. If he saw a mother holding a child, he would look twice to see if it was Qiao Tan Yuan and he would be disappointed if it wasn’t Qiao Tan Yuan. When Li Lam hugged him in his office, he felt indifferent to Li Lam. But it was different with Qiao Tan Yuan, in his heart he always wanted to hold Qiao Tan Yuan. He was willing to chase Qiao Tan Yuan until she accepted his love.
‘No,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘Gu Jiao Wu, you don’t understand what it means to love someone. You can stop acting like you love me. I won’t fall for your lies.’
‘I’m acting like I love you?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘What else do you call your sudden change?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked. ‘How many years have you hated me? Why would someone like you who hates me suddenly opens their mouth, and say they love me?’
‘Why would I be acting like I love you?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘What’s my motive?’
End of Chapter Eighty-Seven