Arm.
Qiao Tan Yuan bit her lips. She couldn’t forget the cutting words Gu Jiao Wu said to her that day. During the nights she would dream about that day.
Qiao Tan Yuan bit Gu Jiao Wu’s arm until she drew blood. He didn’t care about the pain, and held onto her.
‘I don’t want to see you,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Have you bitten me enough?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘If not, bite the other arm too.’
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t understand why Gu Jiao Wu acted like that day didn’t happen. There was no wedding, and they weren’t together anymore.
Qiao Tan Yuan grabbed Gu Jiao Wu’s other arm to bite. She saw the scar on his hand from a year ago when she gave birth to Xiao Bao, and bit his hand in the delivery room.
‘I’m not a dog,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She let go of Gu Jiao Wu’s arm. ‘I don’t need to bite you. I want you to leave my house.’
‘You’re not going to bite?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘There is no reason for you to be here,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Tan Yuan, I missed you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘A pity, I didn’t miss you,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Really?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘Why would I miss you?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked. ‘It’s not me you missed. You missed Xiao Bao.’
‘I missed Xiao Bao but I missed you more,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘I don’t believe you,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Gu Jiao Wu loosened his hold, and Qiao Tan Yuan walked to the living room window.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, can’t you let me and Xiao Bao live a peaceful life without you?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
‘Tan Yuan, Xiao Bao turned one today,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘Xiao Bao needs a mother and a father’s love.’
‘These past months, Xiao Bao and I lived a good life without you,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘I believe you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘But there’s something you haven’t considered.’
‘What?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
‘You and Xiao Bao would live a happier life with me,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Gu Jiao Wu aren’t you tired?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
‘Tired?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘Why are you forcing yourself to act like you care about for Xiao Bao’s sake when you don’t love me?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
‘Who said I didn’t love you?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘You don’t have to lie to yourself,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘The woman you love is Chu Da, not me.’
‘Chu Da is dead,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Chu Da is dead,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘But Chu Da lives in your heart. You can’t let her go. She’s always on your mind. You’re here in the flesh, but your heart is with her. No matter how years past, you can’t forget her.’
Gu Jiao Wu could see the sadness, and pain in Qiao Tan Yuan’s eyes through the window reflection. He looked out the window at the th.o.r.n.y roses, and wished he knew how to get Qiao Tan Yuan to take off her thorns.
Gu Jiao Wu hugged Qiao Tan Yuan from behind.
‘I loved her,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, let go of me,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘I loved her but she’s my past,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
Gu Jiao Wu could feel how much flesh Qiao Tan Yuan lost. Why was it hard for Qiao Tan Yuan to acknowledge she missed him, and loved him?
‘I loved her in the past,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘At that time, being with her made me happy. She’s different to you and other arrogant heiresses. She’s a genuinely gentle and a caring woman. It didn’t matter how late I came home, she cooked dinner for me and waited for me to come home to eat dinner. At that time I wanted to marry her, give her a good life and make her happy.’
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know Gu Jiao Wu was easily moved by a home cooked meal.
‘After she agreed to marry me, she left me suddenly,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I didn’t know why she left me. I’m a man who also has pride. I wanted to find her, and ask her why she left me to get closure. Tan yuan, can you understand why she was on my mind during the years I didn’t know what happened to her?’
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know what to say or believe.
‘Then you drugged me,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I know I didn’t touch you. But I wanted to give you a lesson. Since I couldn’t find Chu Da, it didn’t matter who I married. You wanted to marry me so I married you. Back then I hated and resented you. You said you loved me, but you didn’t understand what I needed.’
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know why Gu Jiao Wu wouldn’t let her go if he hated her.
‘Tan Yuan, I’m sorry,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I was wrong to use marriage to take revenge on you.’
Qiao Tan Yuan lived through Gu Jiao Wu’s cruel revenge for three years. She didn’t want to live through those same days for the rest of her life.
‘Tan Yuan, everything changed that day in the elevator you held onto me and begged me to save Xiao Bao,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I became curious about the different sides to you. At the start if I was away on work trips, I thought of Xiao Bao first then I thought of you. But the more I got to learn about you, I began to think about you before I thought about Xiao Bao. You made me frustrated when you wouldn’t believe I loved you, and you wanted to take Xiao Bao to leave me. I took you to the island to get you to believe I loved you, and I wanted to be with you not because of Xiao Bao or anyone else. Tan Yuan, I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.’
‘You don’t love me,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Tan Yuan, I love you,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘The day Cheng Yi kidnapped you, I wanted to tear apart the city. I didn’t want to lose you. I rather lose my life than lose you. Isn’t that enough to make you believe I love you?’
‘I don’t know,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘But I do know if the woman who was kidnapped that day was Chu Da, you would have risked your life to save Chu Da.’
Qiao Tan Yuan accepted Gu Jiao Wu saved her life because she was the mother of his daughter. But he would save Chu Da’s life because he loved Chu Da.
‘Where’s the arrogant Qiao Tan Yuan?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘Why don’t you believe in yourself how loveable you are?’
‘Gu Jiao Wu, even if I believe you do love me a bit, Chu Da has most of your heart,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘Before you said it yourself, you love Chu Da deeply for everything she did to take care of you. I’ve done nothing for you. I do believe a small corner of your heart wants to live with me, because of Xiao Bao. If Xiao Bao didn’t exist, we would be strangers. Can you say I’m wrong?’
‘True,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘We would be strangers if Xiao Bao didn’t exist. But in this world you can’t undo the past. Xiao Bao’s existence is real.’
‘Gu Jiao Wu, you’ve acknowledged the truth,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘You don’t love me, and you want to be with me because Xiao Bao exists.’
End of Chapter 142