He was seeing more and more clearly that all civilization was an effort, and so far always an inadequate and very partially successful effort.
Always it had been aristocratic, aristocratic in the sense that it was the work of minorities, who took power, who had a common resolution against the inertia, the indifference, the insubordination and instinctive hostility of the ma.s.s of mankind. And always the set-backs, the disasters of civilization, had been failures of the aristocratic spirit. Why had the Roman purpose faltered and shrivelled? Every order, every brotherhood, every organization carried with it the seeds of its own destruction. Must the idea of statecraft and rule perpetually reappear, reclothe itself in new forms, age, die, even as life does--making each time its almost infinitesimal addition to human achievement? Now the world is crying aloud for a renascence of the spirit that orders and controls. Human affairs sway at a dizzy height of opportunity. Will they keep their footing there, or stagger? We have got back at last to a time as big with opportunity as the early empire.
Given only the will in men and it would be possible now to turn the dazzling accidents of science, the chancy attainments of the nineteenth century, into a sane and permanent possession, a new starting point....
What a magnificence might be made of life!
He was aroused by Amanda"s voice.
"When we go back to London, old Cheetah," she said, "we must take a house."
For some moments he stared at her, trying to get back to their point of divergence.
"Why?" he asked at length.
"We must have a house," she said.
He looked at her face. Her expression was profoundly thoughtful, her eyes were fixed on the slumbering ships poised upon the transparent water under the mountain shadows.
"You see," she thought it out, "you"ve got to TELL in London. You can"t just sneak back there. You"ve got to strike a note of your own. With all these things of yours."
"But how?"
"There"s a sort of little house, I used to see them when I was a girl and my father lived in London, about Brook Street and that part. Not too far north.... You see going back to London for us is just another adventure. We"ve got to capture London. We"ve got to scale it. We"ve got advantages of all sorts. But at present we"re outside. We"ve got to march in."
Her clear hazel eyes contemplated conflicts and triumphs.
She was roused by Benham"s voice.
"What the deuce are you thinking of, Amanda?"
She turned her level eyes to his. "London," she said. "For you."
"I don"t want London," he said.
"I thought you did. You ought to. I do."
"But to take a house! Make an invasion of London!"
"You dear old Cheetah, you can"t be always frisking about in the wilderness, staring at the stars."
"But I"m not going back to live in London in the old way, theatres, dinner-parties, chatter--"
"Oh no! We aren"t going to do that sort of thing. We aren"t going to join the ruck. We"ll go about in holiday times all over the world. I want to see Fusiyama. I mean to swim in the South Seas. With you. We"ll dodge the sharks. But all the same we shall have to have a house in London. We have to be FELT there."
She met his consternation fairly. She lifted her fine eyebrows. Her little face conveyed a protesting reasonableness.
"Well, MUSTN"T we?"
She added, "If we want to alter the world we ought to live in the world."
Since last they had disputed the question she had thought out these new phrases.
"Amanda," he said, "I think sometimes you haven"t the remotest idea of what I am after. I don"t believe you begin to suspect what I am up to."
She put her elbows on her knees, dropped her chin between her hands and regarded him impudently. She had a characteristic trick of looking up with her face downcast that never failed to soften his regard.
"Look here, Cheetah, don"t you give way to your early morning habit of calling your own true love a fool," she said.
"Simply I tell you I will not go back to London."
"You will go back with me, Cheetah."
"I will go back as far as my work calls me there."
"It calls you through the voice of your mate and slave and doormat to just exactly the sort of house you ought to have.... It is the privilege and duty of the female to choose the lair."
For a s.p.a.ce Benham made no reply. This controversy had been gathering for some time and he wanted to state his view as vividly as possible.
The Benham style of connubial conversation had long since decided for emphasis rather than delicacy.
"I think," he said slowly, "that this wanting to take London by storm is a beastly VULGAR thing to want to do."
Amanda compressed her lips.
"I want to work out things in my mind," he went on. "I do not want to be distracted by social things, and I do not want to be distracted by picturesque things. This life--it"s all very well on the surface, but it isn"t real. I"m not getting hold of reality. Things slip away from me.
G.o.d! but how they slip away from me!"
He got up and walked to the side of the boat.
She surveyed his back for some moments. Then she went and leant over the rail beside him.
"I want to go to London," she said.
"I don"t."
"Where do you want to go?"
"Where I can see into the things that hold the world together."
"I have loved this wandering--I could wander always. But... Cheetah! I tell you I WANT to go to London."
He looked over his shoulder into her warm face. "NO," he said.
"But, I ask you."
He shook his head.
She put her face closer and whispered. "Cheetah! big beast of my heart.
Do you hear your mate asking for something?"
He turned his eyes back to the mountains. "I must go my own way."