13
But throughout all their travel together that summer Benham was never able to lift Prothero away from his obsession. It was the substance of their talk as the Holland boat stood out past waiting destroyers and winking beacons and the lights of Harwich, into the smoothly undulating darkness of the North Sea; it rose upon them again as they sat over the cakes and cheese of a Dutch breakfast in the express for Berlin.
Prothero filled the Sieges Allee with his complaints against nature and society, and distracted Benham in his contemplation of Polish agriculture from the windows of the train with turgid s.e.xual liberalism.
So that Benham, during this period until Prothero left him and until the tragic enormous spectacle of Russia in revolution took complete possession of him, was as it were thinking upon two floors. Upon the one he was thinking of the vast problems of a society of a hundred million people staggering on the verge of anarchy, and upon the other he was perplexed by the feverish inattention of Prothero to the tremendous things that were going on all about them. It was only presently when the serenity of his own private life began to be ruffled by disillusionment, that he began to realize the intimate connexion of these two systems of thought. Yet Prothero put it to him plainly enough.
"Inattentive," said Prothero, "of course I am inattentive. What is really the matter with all this--this social mess people are in here, is that nearly everybody is inattentive. These Big Things of yours, n.o.body is thinking of them really. Everybody is thinking about the Near Things that concern himself."
"The bombs they threw yesterday? The Cossacks and the whips?"
"Nudges. Gestures of inattention. If everybody was thinking of the Res Publica would there be any need for bombs?"
He pursued his advantage. "It"s all nonsense to suppose people think of politics because they are in "em. As well suppose that the pa.s.sengers on a liner understand the engines, or soldiers a war. Before men can think of to-morrow, they must think of to-day. Before they can think of others, they must be sure about themselves. First of all, food; the private, the personal economic worry. Am I safe for food? Then s.e.x, and until one is tranquil and not ashamed, not irritated and dissatisfied, how can one care for other people, or for next year or the Order of the World? How can one, Benham?"
He seized the ill.u.s.tration at hand. "Here we are in Warsaw--not a month after bomb-throwing and Cossack charging. Windows have still to be mended, smashed doors restored. There"s blood-stains still on some of the houses. There are hundreds of people in the Citadel and in the Ochrana prison. This morning there were executions. Is it anything more than an eddy in the real life of the place? Watch the customers in the shops, the crowd in the streets, the men in the cafes who stare at the pa.s.sing women. They are all swallowed up again in their own business.
They just looked up as the Cossacks galloped past; they just shifted a bit when the bullets spat...."
And when the streets of Moscow were agog with the grotesque amazing adventure of the Potemkin mutineers, Prothero was in the full tide of the private romance that severed him from Benham and sent him back to Cambridge--changed.
Before they reached Moscow Benham was already becoming accustomed to disregard Prothero. He was looking over him at the vast heaving trouble of Russia, which now was like a sea that tumbles under the hurrying darknesses of an approaching storm. In those days it looked as though it must be an overwhelming storm. He was drinking in the wide and ma.s.sive Russian effects, the drifting crowds in the entangling streets, the houses with their strange lettering in black and gold, the innumerable barbaric churches, the wildly driven droshkys, the sombre red fortress of the Kremlin, with its bulbous churches cl.u.s.tering up into the sky, the crosses, the innumerable gold crosses, the mad church of St. Basil, carrying the Russian note beyond the pitch of permissible caricature, and in this setting the obscure drama of cl.u.s.tering, staring, sash-wearing peasants, long-haired students, sane-eyed women, a thousand varieties of uniform, a running and galloping to and fro of messengers, a flutter of little papers, whispers, shouts, shots, a drama elusive and portentous, a gathering of forces, an acc.u.mulation of tension going on to a perpetual clash and clamour of bells. Benham had brought letters of introduction to a variety of people, some had vanished, it seemed. They were "away," the porters said, and they continued to be "away,"--it was the formula, he learnt, for arrest; others were evasive, a few showed themselves extraordinarily anxious to inform him about things, to explain themselves and things about them exhaustively. One young student took him to various meetings and showed him in great detail the scene of the recent murder of the Grand Duke Sergius. The buildings opposite the old French cannons were still under repair. "The a.s.sa.s.sin stood just here. The bomb fell there, look! right down there towards the gate; that was where they found his arm. He was torn to fragments. He was sc.r.a.ped up. He was mixed with the horses...."
Every one who talked spoke of the outbreak of revolution as a matter of days or at the utmost weeks. And whatever question Benham chose to ask these talkers were prepared to answer. Except one. "And after the revolution," he asked, "what then?..." Then they waved their hands, and failed to convey meanings by rea.s.suring gestures.
He was absorbed in his effort to understand this universal ominous drift towards a conflict. He was trying to piece together a process, if it was one and the same process, which involved riots in Lodz, fighting at Libau, wild disorder at Odessa, remote colossal battlings in Manchuria, the obscure movements of a disastrous fleet lost somewhere now in the Indian seas, steaming clumsily to its fate, he was trying to rationalize it all in his mind, to comprehend its direction. He was struggling strenuously with the obscurities of the language in which these things were being discussed about him, a most difficult language demanding new sets of visual images because of its strange alphabet. Is it any wonder that for a time he failed to observe that Prothero was involved in some entirely disconnected affair.
They were staying at the big Cosmopolis bazaar in the Theatre Square.
Thither, through the doors that are opened by distraught-looking men with peac.o.c.ks" feathers round their caps, came Benham"s friends and guides to take him out and show him this and that. At first Prothero always accompanied Benham on these expeditions; then he began to make excuses. He would stay behind in the hotel. Then when Benham returned Prothero would have disappeared. When the porter was questioned about Prothero his nescience was profound.
One night no Prothero was discoverable at any hour, and Benham, who wanted to discuss a project for going on to Kieff and Odessa, was alarmed.
"Moscow is a late place," said Benham"s student friend. "You need not be anxious until after four or five in the morning. It will be quite time--QUITE time to be anxious to-morrow. He may be--close at hand."
When Benham hunted up Prothero in his room next morning he found him sleepy and irritable.
"I don"t trouble if YOU are late," said Prothero, sitting up in his bed with a red resentful face and crumpled hair. "I wasn"t born yesterday."
"I wanted to talk about leaving Moscow."
"I don"t want to leave Moscow."
"But Odessa--Odessa is the centre of interest just now."
"I want to stay in Moscow."
Benham looked baffled.
Prothero stuck up his knees and rested his night-shirted arms upon them.
"I don"t want to leave Moscow," he said, "and I"m not going to do so."
"But haven"t we done--"
Prothero interrupted. "You may. But I haven"t. We"re not after the same things. Things that interest you, Benham, don"t interest me. I"ve found--different things."
His expression was extraordinarily defiant.
"I want," he went on, "to put our affairs on a different footing. Now you"ve opened the matter we may as well go into it. You were good enough to bring me here.... There was a sort of understanding we were working together.... We aren"t.... The long and short of it is, Benham, I want to pay you for my journey here and go on my own--independently."
His eye and voice achieved a fierceness that Benham found nearly incredible in him.
Something that had got itself overlooked in the press of other matters jerked back into Benham"s memory. It popped back so suddenly that for an instant he wanted to laugh. He turned towards the window, picked his way among Prothero"s carelessly dropped garments, and stood for a moment staring into the square, with its drifting, a.s.sembling and dispersing fleet of trains and its long line of blue-coated IZVOSHTCHIKS. Then he turned.
"Billy," he said, "didn"t I see you the other evening driving towards the Hermitage?"
"Yes," said Prothero, and added, "that"s it."
"You were with a lady."
"And she IS a lady," said Prothero, so deeply moved that his face twitched as though he was going to weep.
"She"s a Russian?"
"She had an English mother. Oh, you needn"t stand there and look so d.a.m.ned ironical! She"s--she"s a woman. She"s a thing of kindness...."
He was too full to go on.
"Billy, old boy," said Benham, distressed, "I don"t want to be ironical--"
Prothero had got his voice again.
"You"d better know," he said, "you"d better know. She"s one of those women who live in this hotel."
"Live in this hotel!"
"On the fourth floor. Didn"t you know? It"s the way in most of these big Russian hotels. They come down and sit about after lunch and dinner. A woman with a yellow ticket. Oh! I don"t care. I don"t care a rap. She"s been kind to me; she"s--she"s dear to me. How are you to understand? I shall stop in Moscow. I shall take her to England. I can"t live without her, Benham. And then-- And then you come worrying me to come to your d.a.m.ned Odessa!"
And suddenly this extraordinary young man put his hands to his face as though he feared to lose it and would hold it on, and after an apoplectic moment burst noisily into tears. They ran between his fingers. "Get out of my room," he shouted, suffocatingly. "What business have you to come prying on me?"
Benham sat down on a chair in the middle of the room and stared round-eyed at his friend. His hands were in his pockets. For a time he said nothing.
"Billy," he began at last, and stopped again. "Billy, in this country somehow one wants to talk like a Russian. Billy, my dear--I"m not your father, I"m not your judge. I"m--unreasonably fond of you. It"s not my business to settle what is right or wrong for you. If you want to stay in Moscow, stay in Moscow. Stay here, and stay as my guest...."
He stopped and remained staring at his friend for a little s.p.a.ce.
"I didn"t know," said Prothero brokenly; "I didn"t know it was possible to get so fond of a person...."
Benham stood up. He had never found Prothero so attractive and so abominable in his life before.