aIall be by to get Suzi for church in the morning,a Nance said. aAnd thereas a dinner at church tomorrow night and a special program on mission trips. Oneas to Mexico! At the end of the summer. Would you mind if Suzi went on a mission trip with the church?a After the Dunkina Donuts incidenta"even though Nance had proved to be reliable since thena"there was no way Caroline would let Suzi go on any kind of trip with Nance. aHer knee wonat be healed enough,a Caroline said.
Nance sighed and raised her hand to her neck in a dramatic gesture. aSheas such a precious girl, your Suzi. Youare so lucky to have her. You have no idea how lucky you are.a aIam fully aware of that.a aYou know, dear,a Nance said. aIf you donat mind my saying so. You spend too much time fussing over Ava, and sheas going to be fine.a aWhat I need is for people to stop telling me Iam a bad mother.a aOh, dear, Iam sorry,a Nance said. aI didnat mean that! I meant to compliment you. I know it must be hard, taking care of that bunch. If you and Vic ever want to get away together for a long weekend, just let me know. Iad be glad to step in and help out.a Although Caroline would never let Nance look after her home and kids, she did, for a few seconds, entertain the idea of herself and Vic going off on their own somewhere. He used to be such a good traveling companion. But shead never talk him into taking a trip with her now. He was always working. Besides, it would be like going away with an old boyfriend she hadnat seen in twenty years. Too much awkward catching up. Together, they wouldnat be able to forget about their life at home the way she could if she were by herself. She thanked Nance for the offer, and then found herself telling Nance about getting Ava into Rhodes and moving up with her to Memphis.
aIf thatas what you want, you could stay in my house,a she said. aIall get rid of that little couple wh.o.a.re housesitting for me. The boy, Trevor, is so ugly his mother mustave had to borrow a baby to take to church.a aI might take you up on that,a Caroline said, but knew she wouldnat. She wanted a perfectly anonymous place to live in, like an apartment above a store downtown, a place with huge windows looking out over Main Street, a place completely free of clutter where she could just sit and contemplate the strangers walking past. She might even get a job in a clothing store, like Barbaraas, the one she used to manage in Iowa City, when she actually had time to care about clothes and the people who wanted her advice about what to buy. It was all a fantasy, she knew that, but if Ava got into Rhodes, shead do her best to make it happen.
aI know you mustave missed your mama something awful, growing up without her.a Strange shift in subject, but Caroline nodded, deciding to go with it. aWish I had a memory of her. Even one.a She thought about mentioning the fact that shead suspected Nance of being her long-lost mother but decided against it. It would make her seem too pathetic. This conversation was supposed to be about Nance, not her. aIam so sorry that your daughter died,a Caroline blurted out. She had to say what shead come to say. aIf you ever want to talk about it.a Nance flipped her hand in a dismissive wave, as if they were discussing whoad burned the breakfast toast.
aShe died of bone cancer?a aShe died of medical negligence. Iad prefer not to go into it right now.a Bingo.
As Caroline was leaving, she walked over to the table with the photographs. She asked Nance which ones were of Helen.
aAll of them,a said Nance.
There was Helen at various ages: the wide-eyed downy-headed infant wrapped in a blanket; the six-month-old wispy-haired charmer clutching a cloth block; the solid toddler in diapers and a fluffy dress; the gap-toothed, freckled, blond girl wearing a plaid dress in a school picture; the serious Brownie scout sporting a sash full of badges, hair held back with plastic barrettes sticking out from under her beanie; then, finally, the sickly looking and pale patient under an afghan on a couch. Caroline studied all the pictures, looking for signs, markers, that might have foretold her fate. But Helen looked healthy and happy and like every other little girl until, suddenly, she wasnat. When had she started growing that tumor? When had it started hurting her? When did she realize that she was dying? There were no other people in the pictures with Helena"not her mother or her father. Just Helen. aSheas beautiful,a Caroline said, and turned to ask Nance more about her, but Nance had already stepped out onto the front porch and was holding the door open for Caroline to leave.
As Caroline stood on Nanceas front porch in the stifling humidity, she gestured toward the yard. aPretty flowers,a she said.
Nance smiled. aWhy thank you,a she said. aTheyare hardly any work at all!a Was she being ironic? Caroline had no idea. aIs Archer your real name?a Caroline asked her. aI mean, was it your name when you were married and had Helen?a aNo,a Nance said. aWhy?a Caroline hadnat planned on asking this question, not so abruptly, so she didnat have a reason already in mind. She just spread her hands and shrugged.
aIt was Quackenbush,a Nance said. aThat was my first husbandas name. Bernie Quackenbush. Now, I donat want to be rude, hon,a Nance said, stepping back into her house, abut Iave got work to do round here. Iall see you in the morning!a * * *
Back home, in the den, Caroline showed her father the folder full of doc.u.ments about the radiation study. He leafed through it as if it were all news to him.
aIs this all true? You were head of this study?a He nodded slowly, frowning. aWell, it appears I was,a he said. aBut I donat recall a thing about it.a aThatas convenient.a Her father didnat respond. He shut the folder and gazed out his window into the backyard. What was he thinking about?
aWheread this come from? Did Nance give it to you?a aI believe she did. Yes, I believe she did.a aWhy?a aIave got to get out there and do some weeding. I havenat been out there in weeks.a aYou were just out there yesterday.a aWas I? Didnat do a very good job.a aWas Nance one of the women in this study?a aShe keeps sniping at me. Sheas angry at me about something.a aI guess so.a There wasnat any Quackenbush listed among the eight hundred victims. So she still hadnat given Caroline her real name. She was intent upon hiding her real purpose in being here, and Caroline didnat feel she should expose her. Had she moved to Tallaha.s.see just to confront Wilson? If so, she must have been mightily disappointed, because he was refusing to own up to anything. But now that she was here, what did they owe her? That was the real question. What the government had done to Nance, what her father had done, was a travesty. Caroline and her family were obligated to help Nance Quackenbush, or whatever the h.e.l.l her name was, however they could.
aIs this why my mother left?a Caroline said. aMary Conner! My mother! Did she find out about this a study?a aWell, now, that could be,a he said, tapping his upper lip, as if the thought had just occurred to him.
Suzi was acting strange, like her personality had changed when she hurt her knee. She actually started being nice to Ava.
aCome to church with me and Nance,a she told Ava. aPlease, Sissy? The minister wants to meet you.a Sissy? This was one of Suzias tricks, but what part about it was the trick? aWhy?a Ava asked her.
aI told him so much about you, thatas why.a Suzi was acting all hyper and shifty, swinging around on her crutches. She kept bugging Ava, following her around, pleading with her, until finally Ava said okay.
And thatas how Ava came to be sitting in Genesis Church, which was next to the dollar movie theater, where Ava would rather be, watching Akeelah and the Bee. At least at the movies there was only one screen to watch.
Suzi sat on one side of her and Nance on the other. Most everyone else was standing up, swaying with their eyes closed, singing a song about the wind bending a tree in a hurricane. What did that have to do with G.o.d?
aThere he is,a Suzi said, elbowing her, pointing at one of the screens.
aOuch,a Ava yelled, pushing Suzi away. Ever since Suzi was little, shead poked Ava, prodded her, yelled in her ear, tried to hug and kiss her, anything she knew that Ava didnat want her to do; and then when Ava pushed her away she acted hurt, even went running to their mother, crying about how she was only trying to be nice to Ava and how mean Ava was and so on.
Now, though, Suzi didnat react to the push. She even leaned closer to Ava. aThere he is,a she said again, pointing to the people singing up on the stage. aThat guy in the middle, the tall one, who looks like Orlando Bloom. Thatas Buff. The minister who wants to meet you.a Ava said in her regular voice, refusing to whisper. aHe doesnat look like Orlando Bloom. Why does he want to meet me?a aHe just does,a Suzi said, making a aduha face. She knew more, but she wasnat telling.
Nance scooted closer to Ava, too. Now Ava was in the middle of a human sandwich, being pressed into a pulp. aWhat are you talking about?a nosy old Nance asked her.
aNothing,a Ava said, and knew shead sounded rude but didnat care. She didnat like Nance, even though everyone else in her family did. Ever since theyad gone to have those pictures taken and Nance had used reverse psychology on her to get her to pose naked, she didnat trust the woman. So, basically, she was in the middle of two untrustworthy pieces of bread. A pressed liar sandwich.
Nance leaned past Ava and repeated her question to Suzi. The two of them were BFFs. aI was just showing her Buff,a Suzi explained to Nance.
The head ministera"a roundish, baldish, friendly-looking mana"jumped onto the stage, and the congregation finally sat down and collected itself, and he began talking, welcoming everyone on that fine summer morning.
It wouldave been okay if Suzi hadnat added, aBuff wants to meet Ava.a aWhy?a Nance asked.
aExactly,a Ava said.
They shouldnat be talking now, because the minister was talking, but Suzi kept right on, explaining that Buff had wanted to meet Ava after Suzi had talked so much about her.
Nance frowned.
Ava lost interest in Buff, what little interest shead had, because shead just spotted Travis, the cuteish guy whoad visited her Aspergeras group, sitting across the aisle. Head spotted her first and was waving at her. He was wearing a felt hat with a feather through it, like Bartholomew Cubbins wore. People wore unusual clothing to this church. She waved back at him.
All through the endless church service, which both Suzi and Nance seemed to be really into, listening to the minister talk about stirring up the fire of G.o.d and walking out further into the water, she thought about Americaas Next Top Model. Nance had helped her fill out the application and everything was ready to be sent off, including the photos Mr. Boy had taken of hera"not the naked ones, of coursea"and as soon as she sent them off, all there was to do was wait to see if theyad want to interview her in Jacksonville, and if they didnat, they were idiots, Nance declared. It was creepy that only Nance knew about what she was doinga"except the guys in her Aspergeras group, of course, which meant that Travis knew, but head probably have forgotten all about it by now. What would Elvis think of Ava becoming Americaas next top model? He would approve, because he liked models.
And what would Elvis think of this church? Head probably like it, being kind of a Christian and a showy guy, but she didnat like it. It reminded her of a poor manas version of one of Elvisas Vegas shows. There was too much going on at once with the screens and music and live entertainment and headline news, everything way too loud. It was like they were trying to duplicate what it was like in her own house. Why would she want to go to church for more competing noise? What happened to church being quiet? Did everything have to be like a video arcade?
After the service was finally over, Ava wiggled out of the pew and into the aisle, catching her breath. Escape. She must escape.
aHey, Ava.a It was Travis, blocking her path. Along with the Bartholomew Cubbins hat, he was dressed in a blousy white shirt and olive-colored knickers with brown socks and flappy leather elf shoes. aWhat are you doing here?a Travis asked her.
aMy sister goes to church here,a Ava told him. People were jostling into her and Travis and giving them curious glances and then big smiles. aWhat are you dressed like that for? Are you in a play?a aIam a volunteer at Mission San Luis. You should come up there sometime.a Travis was taller than Ava, and not bad looking, his baby face balanced out by his st.u.r.dy build. He had a dimple in one cheek.
Before she could say anything in reply, like asurea or amaybe I will,a Suzi came up from behind, plowing into Ava and propelling her forward with her body and her crutches, causing her to b.u.mp into people who were making their way down the aisles and out of the church.
Ava protested, but Suzi kept pushing her in her aggressive way, like Ava was a soccer ball she was moving toward the goal. aLetas go say hi to Buff,a she said.
Up near the stage, Buff was talking to an older couple, patting the womanas rounded back, his face furrowed with concern. He had nice thick, light brown hair, parted on the side. And a suntan. Didnat he worry about getting skin cancer?
aBuff,a Suzi interrupted, shaking his elbow. aHereas my sister, Ava.a Buff dropped his hand from the older womanas humped back and turned his attention immediately to Ava. Wow. He glowed like a movie star. He clasped her hand in both of his. aSo good to finally meet you.a aOkay,a Ava said, glancing off sideways. Buff was sending her messages with his eyes that were too intense, and she couldnat interpret them.
aYou are just as beautiful as Miss Suzi said you were!a aOkay,a Ava said, meeting his eyes briefly and then looking at Suzi.
aI never said that,a Suzi protested, her face crinkled with disgust.
Buff wrapped his football player arm around Suzias shoulders and gave her a squeeze, causing her to stumble with her crutches. Suzias face changed from disgust to pleasure. Suzias goal, Avaad figured out over the years, was to get all the attention, in any situation, focused on herself, and she was so good at getting it that Ava didnat bother to compete.
aNice to meet you,a Ava mumbled, and began backing away.
aWait, wait,a said Buff, dropping his arm from Suzias shoulder. There were other people, teenage girls and one eager acool guya type lined up beside Buff, waiting to speak to him. aSuzi and I would love to get you involved in our youth groupa"wouldnat we, Suze?a Suzi nodded and did another fake, eager smile.
aOkay,a said Ava. Thank G.o.d the word okay had been invented. There was some debate about the origins of the word, she remembered reading somewhere. Some people thought that it came from the Choctaw Indians, and others that it came from the African slaves in America.a Buff was talking to her again. aSo, weare taking a youth group trip to Wakulla Springs next Sat.u.r.day. Have a cookout, grill some burgers and brats, swim with the gators. What do you say? Wead love to have you.a He was like a force, the combination of his personality and his manly good looks. Either you let yourself be drawn into his force field or repelled. Thatas how Otis wouldave described it, though he would probably be even more scientific, mentioning atoms, neutrons.a aCan you come? Next Sat.u.r.day?a aWell aa aIall drop by to pick you both up myself.a aCool!a said Suzi. aI canat swim, though, with my knee like this.a aYou can sit on the beach, looking cute,a Buff told her. aSo Iall pick you both up next Sat.u.r.day at eleven.a The boy standing at Buffas elbow couldnat contain himself for another minute. He elbowed Buff in the ribs. aYou gonna pick me up, too?a aWith your foot odor?a Buff said to the kid, and elbowed him in the stomach.
Ava took this opportunity to turn and start down the aisle, glancing around for Travis in the thinning crowd, but didnat see him.
There was Nance, though, sitting in the chair watching her, looking small and forlorn and pasty pale. Why was she staring at Ava?
Ava walked right past her and out through the bustling lobby into the blinding sunlight and the blistering concrete and all the cars, looking for Travis. He was gone.
aWho was that guy you were talking to earlier?a Suzi asked her when they were in Nanceas car, racing home like they were going to a fire. aThe one in the costume. Iave seen him before. Heas bizarre.a Ava didnat want to give greedy little Suzi any more information, or ammunition, than she already had. aIave never seen him before in my life,a Ava said, remembering too late that Travis might be on the Wakulla trip and shead have to keep lying. She was just as bad as Nance and Suzi. She was the liar filling in the pressed liar sandwich.
There was something else shead been lying about. She had barely pa.s.sed algebra last spring, and her mother had sent in her application to Rhodes College. But even though shead told her mother she wanted to go there, she didnat, and she wouldnat. Ava had wanted to be so many things along the way as she was growing up; and maybe because of her momas encouragement, shead been certain she could do any of them, although shead never admit this to her mother. Her father didnat care what she did, didnat expect her to accomplish anything, the way her mother did. She had no idea what she really wanted to accomplish, beyond being an Elvis fan and Americaas next top model. But being a fan wasnat a career and the model thing, if she did get it, wouldnat last long. All she knew is that she wanted to eventually be a grown-upa"finish college, just a state school, nothing fancy, and live on her own for a while, then get married and have a family. But this wasnat anything she could ever say aloud to anyone. It was too ordinary, not flashy enough. More like a log cabin instead of Genesis Church.
Buff came for Suzi and Ava the following Sat.u.r.day morning. He pulled up into their driveway in a big black SUV, the kind of car her parents always spoke scornfully of. He had called the day before and talked to her mother about the outing, and her mother later told Ava that he wanted to take his own car to Wakulla Springs because riding on the bus made him motion sick, and, well, since they were in the same neighborhood, he thought head just swing by to pick up Suzi and Ava. Her mom seemed to think it was okay, so it must be.
Buff came inside, in his polo shirt, knee-length madras shorts, and sports sandals, like something out of the Landsa End catalog, and talked to her mother for a few minutes in a soothing, rea.s.suring voice, promising that head have her alovely daughtersa back by five p.m.
Even though Suzi sat in the backseat on the way down to the park, she managed to insert herself into the conversation constantly. Buff asked Ava questions about her interests, her plans, her goals. She told him she got As in everything except math, which was mostly true. She told him she planned to go to Rhodes College in Memphis, if she could get in, but beyond that she didnat know.
aIam going to get a soccer scholarship,a Suzi announced, ato one of those Ivy League schools, like Harvard, and be an archaeologist.a Ava let out a big sigh, and to her surprise, Buff winked at her.
aMust be nice to have it all figured out, Suzi Q,a he said. aBut the Lord might have other plans for you!a aHuh,a Suzi said, clearly doubting that anyone, including the Lord G.o.d almighty, could interfere in her plans.
Every time Ava glanced over at Buff, he was looking at her with that intense gaze that she didnat know the meaning of. After a while she forced herself not to look at him.
At Wakulla Springs State Park, which was about half an hour south of Tallaha.s.see, they met up with the other youths, who were disembarking from a big white bus with Genesis Church written on the side. After the cool car ride, standing outside in the heat under the live oak trees felt comforting.
Three of the girls, who looked to be around Suzias age, came rushing over to hug her and help her carry her swim bag and towel since she was on crutches.
Ava was pleased to see Travis climbing off the bus, wearing regular clothes and carrying a balled-up towel. He didnat see Ava and headed straight for the river.
Ava tried to follow him, just because he was someone familiar to hang out with, but Buff was gathering up the remaining youth group members with his arms. aBuff hug!a everyone said, and Buff prayed aloud right there in the gravel parking lot for G.o.das guidance and protection and for everyone to have a safe and fun day. aAmen,a all the teenagers chanted, and then they let out a whoop that startled Ava out of her skin.
Somehow, Ava ended up sitting beside Buff on the river ride in one of the white metal boats with open sides and a canopy roofa"and she was aware that many of the other kids, who all seemed to want Buffas attention, were staring at her with unfriendly expressions, which she supposed meant they were jealous. Jealous! Of her! This included Suzi, who, red-faced and sweaty, struggled up the aisle of the boat on her crutches and still managed to shoot Ava a nasty look.
Travis merely smiled at Ava as he pa.s.sed, not making any effort to sit beside her. He plopped himself down on a bench in the front of the boat, beside another boy, and the two of them pa.s.sed a pair of binoculars back and forth.
Ava had taken this forty-minute-long ride down the Wakulla River countless timesa"with her family and visitors from out of state, and on outings in elementary school. The pale green water was always super-clear. You always saw the same things as you floated alonga"alligators half submerged in the lily pads looking like chunks of radial tires, turtles lined up on logs, egrets, herons, anhingas, and ducksa"black snakes dangling from trees. And you heard the same stories about all the movies filmed therea"the most famous being Creature from the Black Lagoon. But it never got old, somehow.
Buff took pictures of alligators with his cell phone, he said, to send them to his three-year-old daughter, Angel. He was very considerate of Ava and kept asking her if she could see the animal the guide had just called out.
aBuff. Hey, Buff.a A young woman with a cleavage-revealing tank top tapped Buff on his shoulder. aWhy didnat Rusty and Paula and Angel come?a Buff turned around with his whole upper torso and flashed his smile at the girl, who had long brown braids. aHey, Amber. They had a birthday party to go to.a aWhoas Paula?a Ava asked Buff.
Amber, the cleavage girl, answered the question. aThatas his wife. She used to be a Playboy bunny!a For some reason, hearing this made Ava feel sick. Playboy bunny! Was that the kind of woman Buff liked? Did all men, even ministers, want to marry women who looked like that? Huge b.o.o.bs, like Amberas?
Buff was shaking his head at Amber disapprovingly. aThat was before she got saved,a Buff told Ava. aThat lifeas behind her now. Sheas been cleansed in the blood.a Yuck, Ava thought. And without even thinking about it, she stood and walked up the aisle and slid onto the bench seat beside Travis.
Travis said nothing but companionably handed her his binoculars.
aAnhinga on your left,a intoned the guide, an African American man with a trim gray beard who gunned the boatas motor to underscore every announcement he made. aAlso known as the snakebird. Water turkey.a * * *
Later, they all ate hamburgers and brats and chips and potato salad and brownies in a picnic shelter behind the Wakulla Springs Lodgea"a white, two-story, Spanish-style building housing a restaurant, hotel, snack bar, and lobby where Big Joe, a huge alligator killed by poachers, had been stuffed and was now displayed in a gla.s.s case.
Ava sat alone at the end of a picnic table, eating a large, well-done hamburger, delivered to her by Buff himself, watching Suzi and her posse at another table. Even though shead just started attending this church, Suzi already had a posse, as their dad would say. Suzi, whose only complaint about her social life was that everyone wanted to sit next to her and thought they were her best friend, ate her lunch and talked with her posse, pointedly ignored Ava, pretending Ava didnat exist, not even caring that Ava was alone, even though shead invited her.
Buff, too, was surrounded by chattering, laughing kids at all times, and after he finished cooking and eating he started throwing a football with some of the guys. The guys seemed to love him as much as the girls did. He was like the popular kid, only he wasnat a kid.
The smoke from the grill gradually died down. Travis sat under a huge live oak tree, reading a book that appeared to be a fantasy book, from the lurid cover. Why did guys like to read that kind of c.r.a.p? What was wrong with the real world? Facts. True stories. Biographies. Ava had never liked made-up nonsense. Shead read the first volume of the Guralnick biography of Elvis five times.
Finally the group tidied their shelter and moved in a herd down to the changing rooms beside the lodge. Then they descended the tile walkway onto the narrow strip of sugar sand beach beside the river. Most of the kids threw down their towels and got in line to jump off the tall wooden diving tower.
Suzias posse had positioned themselves close to the water, surrounded by cypress trees like a little fort. Knowing she wouldnat be welcome in Suzias group, Ava positioned her towel in some spa.r.s.e gra.s.s under a cypress tree and sat down feeling hideously self-conscious in her pink and black zebra-striped bikini. People were always telling her how thin she was, how gorgeous, but she never felt like she was either, at least not for long. She was always, it seemed, preoccupied to distraction by some flaw shead detected in herself, on her body, something she couldnat stop worrying about no matter how much her mother told her she neednat worry, that she was making another big deal out of nothing. Today it was the fact that her pubic hair was sticking out of her bathing suit on the right side. She usually remembered to shave down there but had forgotten this morning. But why was it sticking out only on the right side? Then she noticed a slight pooch in her stomach. She shouldnat have eaten all those chips! She sucked her stomach in and it popped back out.
A shadowy figure loomed over her. Travis, wearing only swimming trunks and a baseball cap pulled down low over his face, clutching his towel and book. Ava couldnat take her eyes off his chesta"hairless except for a silky dark nest in the middle. He asked if he could sit by her, and she said sure.
He laid out his striped towel in the sand, smoothing down the edges and sweeping off errant grains of sand. He arranged the towel so that it was precisely six inches away from her towel. Then he sat down like he was lowering himself slowly into a hot bath. He smelled like head used two bottles of sunscreen, but even so his skin was toasty brown, his arms dotted with enticing-looking freckles, and Ava had to restrain herself from connecting them with her finger. As soon as he was settled, he started in talking about the time when an alligator ate an FSU student at Wakulla Springs, a story Ava had already heard a hundred times. While Travis talked on, Ava took in the scenery. The diving tower was over to the far left of the beach, near the underwater spring where the river started, bubbling up from the deep caverns at exactly 70 degrees. Ava had always wanted to jump off the high platform, but had never had the nerve.
The lifeguard, a little rooster of a guy, sat in his squat lifeguard chair, talking to some teenagers who sat near him on an overturned rowboat. People swam in the designated swimming area and sunned themselves on two platforms anch.o.r.ed out by the far edge of the swimming area, near the ropes. Supposedly, the alligators, waiting on the other side of the river, wouldnat come into the swimming area because they didnat like crowds. (The FSU student whoad been eaten had swum over into the alligatorsa territorya"he mustave been drunk or on drugs, people said.) You could either believe the unlikely notion that the alligators respected the boundaries and take your chances, or stay safe, hot, and miserable on the beach. Ava always made sure there was somebody between her and the ropes when she went swimming.
There was a loud squeal and some wild splashing right in front of Ava and Travis. A group of white people, some of them wearing T-shirts over their bathing suits, were yelling and dunking each other, and the men were slinging their long wet hair about.
aRednecks,a Travis observed. aDid you ever notice how many overweight people there are in Wakulla County? Just take a look.a There were a number of fat people with red necks and, in fact, entire red bodies, out frolicking in the pristine water, people with many tattoos who had no business wearing bathing suits in public. Some of them sat nearby in their beach chairs, swilling beer and eating fried chicken.
aDonat make fun of fat people,a Ava said, slapping her stomach, harder than she meant to. She shifted so as to hide her pubic hair.
aYouare not fat,a Travis said, his eyes evaluating her body like head just been evaluating the rednecks in the water. aAll the guys were talking earlier about how hot you are. I told them youare going to be Americaas next top model.a Ava felt herself relax and well up with happiness. aLetas go swimming,a she said, standing up. aLetas jump off the tower.a Travis adjusted his cap. aThat tower isnat safe. Thereave been thirty-two accidents on that tower since it was built in 1933.a Ava took his hand and gave it a yank, pulled his hat off his head, and he came stumbling after her. He followed her up the steps of the tower, pa.s.sing people whoad chickened out and were coming down. At the top the two of them waited in line with other mostly wet, shivering teenagers, and then, when the lifeguard gave them the signal to proceed, not allowing herself or Travis time to stare down and chicken out, she grabbed his hand again and the two of them leaped into the air and plunged down and burst through the surface of the frigid water, and she didnat even care that her bikini bottoms came down to her knees, she was having so much fun. They were both laughing and whooping when they came up for air, and without even discussing it they swam back to the tower. They jumped off again and then dog-paddled around awhile until Travis suddenly got scared of alligators and beat it back to the beach and Ava floated on her back with her eyes closed, which made her feel better than anything else in the world.
After a while she drifted back to sh.o.r.e and stumbled up onto the beach, feeling like a frozen fish, and collapsed onto her towel. Travis had taken his towel and moved on. The cute boys and Suzias posse had also disappeared, but their towels remained. Ava stretched out on her stomach, thinking briefly about applying more sunscreen, and fell asleep. She woke up, feeling someone spraying something on her back. Travis?
aHey, there! Sorry to bother you, but youare burning up, girl!a Buff. He held up a spray bottle of sunscreen.
Ava sat up, groggy, blinking, trying to arrange herself into an unhideous position.
aThanks,a she mumbled, smoothing down her damp, no doubt crazy-looking hair.
aHaving fun?a Buff sat cross-legged in the sand beside her, dry headed, wearing a pair of dry navy blue bathing trunks and his polo shirt and Ray-Ban sungla.s.ses.
aI am,a Ava said, remembering jumping off the tower with Travis, holding hands, and how scared head looked the first time, how gung ho head looked the second time.
aMe, too,a Buff said. aIam glad you came.a He dug into the sand with his heel. aHavenat had a chance to talk to you much.a Ava made a sound of agreement. What did he want? Was he going to start in about Jesus and being saved? Shead heard all that beforea"most recently from Suzia"and wasnat interested in hearing it again.
aIad like to spend some more time getting to know you,a he said. He gave her a smile, but his eyes were hidden behind his sungla.s.ses.
aWhy?a Ava blurted out. She wished to G.o.d shead remembered to bring her own sungla.s.ses.
aI just think youare an interesting person,a Buff said. aI think we might have some things in common.a aLike what?a Suzi and her friends rose up out of the water, Suzias friends helping her hop up the beach, and they all plopped down on their towels again, laughing. Suzi, Ava remembered, had been told by their parents not to go into the water, because it might strain her knee. Suzi herself had told Buff she couldnat swim, but she mustave decided to give it a trya"good way to get more attention. Ava waved at Suzi, who appeared to be turning to look at her; but if Suzi saw her, she gave no sign.
aHere, look,a Buff said. He opened up his cell phone and clicked around on it. Was he going to show her a picture of his wife, the Playboy bunny? Finally he found what he wanted and held the phone up so she could see.
There was so much glare that Ava couldnat make out the image at first.
aThis is amazing,a Buff said. aVery cool!a His deep voice got squeakier. aIam totally down with this.a Ava took the phone and tilted it and saw a picture of herself, one of the ones taken by Mr. Boy. One of the naked ones, where she was lounging in a chair with a big dumb smile on her face. aOh G.o.d.a aI know the guy who took it,a Buff said. aHe forwards me stuff now and then. Donat worry, I wonat tell.a He nudged her. aAnd donat get mad at him. He didnat tell me your name or anything.a Ava handed him the phone and glanced up at the river, but the entire scene before her, Suzi, the gallivanting rednecks, swimming tower, the river, the palm trees and pickerelweed on the other side, disappeared in the painful glare. aThen howad you know it was me?a aI recognized you from the neighborhood, and then I found out Suzi was your sister. Maybe you could pose for me sometime? Iad really like that.a aHey, Buff,a one of Suzias friends was calling. aCome here. Itas Suzias knee. Itas really hurting her.a Buff stood up and Ava hid her burning face between her knees. Shead never been so grateful for Suzias need to suck up all the attention.
The summer was more than half over. When school started in the fall, Otis would be a senior at Sunny Side High. His guidance counselor, Mr. Wilkins, had been after him all the previous year to start working on college applications, but his parents hadnat mentioned college to him in a long timea"his mom obsessed with Ava getting into Rhodes, and his father fussed after Suzia"so Otis had let the whole thing slide. He had his own plans for the future, and they didnat involve college.