She rested her chin on her knees. "Good. That means I"m feeling, and I"m happy about that."
"But not too happy that you"re feeling things for me?" She saw the hurt in his eyes and wanted to rea.s.sure him.
"You have to be the nicest man I"ve ever known and I realized tonight that I"ve never really looked at you. I"ve kept the past between us like a blindfold because I didn"t want to see you. But I"m liking what I see now."
He appeared dumbstruck and she couldn"t believe it. This strong man whom she didn"t think was afraid of anything had a vulnerable spot-fear of being hurt. It made him very appealing to her.
To put him at ease, she asked, "What"s in the bag?"
"Dinner," he said. "I called Serena to see if Mrs. Farrell had arrived safely and to tell her you were hidden away and doing okay. While I was talking to her, I asked what you liked to eat so I picked up Cobb salad with sliced chicken breast and some chocolate-fudge ice cream, which I"d better put in the freezer."
"That was so thoughtful," she said, watching him store the ice cream.
He sat down again and they ate dinner in comfortable silence. She didn"t realize how hungry she was and the food was delicious.
"How"s Serena and the family?" she asked, nibbling on the last piece of salad.
Daniel took a swallow of water. "I think there"s going to be a revolt in Junction Flat."
"Why?"
"When your grandmother arrived at the ranch, Alma Ferguson was there visiting Walt. Of course the conversation turned to bridge and Alma called a couple of her friends and they got a game going this afternoon. Walt and his lady friend had plans and he wasn"t too happy about the new arrangement and stomped off to the barn muttering about bossy old women."
"Oh, my." A bubble of laughter escaped her.
"Needless to say things are a little tense around the Ramsey household."
"I can imagine. I wish I was there." She leaned back, trying not to get bogged down in maudlin thoughts.
Daniel got up for the ice cream, setting the carton between them. "Sorry, I didn"t bring anything to scoop it into, but I brought two spoons, so dig in." He handed her one.
They sat there like two children eating their favorite treat.
The silence stretched and she could see Daniel was troubled. They hadn"t talked about what was on both their minds. It was something they had to do.
"How did it go today? Did you find out anything?"
He looked down at a spoonful of ice cream. "Not really."
By the hesitation in his voice she knew he was lying or didn"t want to tell her something.
"A moment ago you said we shouldn"t lie to each other."
He stuck the spoon in the carton. "It"s just not something you need to know and-"
"Daniel," she interrupted, "please don"t keep things from me. I"m stronger than you think and I need to know."
He raised his eyes to hers. "I saw Boyd today."
Her hand went to her mouth and trembled slightly, but she quickly fought the fear rising inside her and, with supreme effort, asked, "What did he say?"
Daniel twisted a napkin while she watched him closely. He had a somber expression on his face.
"Daniel," she prompted. "What did he say?"
Daniel looked into her eyes and seemed to make a decision. What he told her next made her blood run cold.
"Oh, my G.o.d," she muttered. "He"s having these young girls raped and killed to get a new deal, to save his life."
"That"s what I got out of it."
"And the note to me." She swallowed hard. "Was it from him?"
"I think so. He had someone deliver it, but we don"t know who."
"You believe someone in your department still has contact with Boyd or this person on the outside? That"s why you"re investigating everyone."
He nodded. "We"ll unravel this one way or the other."
Sarah ran both hands through her thick hair. "I thought Boyd was out of my life. I thought he couldn"t hurt me anymore."
"He can"t, Sarah, and I know you won"t let these mind games he"s playing get to you. He hasn"t taken into account your incredible strength."
She looked down at her toes. "When he held me prisoner in his apartment and he forced me to remove my clothes, he enjoyed watching my fear and my revulsion. And when...when he touched me I cowered away and wanted to die. He enjoyed that, too. I think if I had fought back he would have raped and murdered me. My weakness kept me alive because it excited him to have that power over me." She sucked air into her tight lungs, hardly able to believe she was telling Daniel that deep pain she"d shared with no one but Serena.
"Your strength will keep you alive now," he said in a throaty voice.
She lifted her head to stare at him. "And you."
"I"m just doing my job." He placed the lid on the carton and she knew it was much more than that, but it was clear he didn"t want to talk about it.
"Do you think the D.A. will make a deal with him?" she asked.
"No. Boyd"s sentence is a done deal. They"re waiting for an execution date."
"But it can be stopped."
"Sure. By the governor. The D.A. doesn"t have any control over that."
"He can appeal to the governor."
"Okay." Daniel held up a hand. "Let"s stop speculating. You"ll make yourself crazy."
"My skin feels as if I"ve been stung by a hundred bees and I can"t shake that sensation."
"Let"s talk about something else," he suggested.
"Yes. Let"s." She wrapped both arms around her legs, staring down at her pink toenails. Raspberry delight-that"s what she and Serena had chosen the day they"d gone to the salon. It seemed like a lifetime ago yet it had only been two days. That day they were happy and laughing. And Sarah wanted to stay that way-intended to stay that way.
She raised her eyes to his. "Tell me about yourself. I"ve known you for five years, but I know very little about you."
He got up and carried the remains of the meal to the trash. "What do you want to know?"
"Do you have family?"
"Parents and a brother here in Dallas."
"Is your brother a policeman, too?"
"No." A shadow crossed his face and he told her a story that saddened her heart.
"I"m so sorry," she whispered. "Is that why you became a police officer?"
"No. I was already on the force, but he"s the reason I went into narcotics. I just wanted to get that sc.u.m off the streets."
"You"re very good at what you do."
His eyes met hers and from out of nowhere she found herself asking, "Have you ever been married?"
He blinked and held up his right hand. "No, ma"am."
She grimaced. "I"m prying."
"I"m just teasing you." He smiled an engaging smile and her heart wobbled. "I haven"t ever been married. I was engaged once, though."
"What happened?"
"I went on a raid and there was a shootout. She didn"t know for a long time that I wasn"t one of the officers. .h.i.t. She completely fell apart and I knew we had problems. In the end she said she couldn"t be a cop"s wife. That"s been almost ten years ago."
"Do you ever see her?"
"Yeah, every now and then. She married a banker, had a daughter, got divorced and is now a single mom trying to make it on her own."
"Do you ever think of getting back together?" She was prying again, but she couldn"t help herself.
"Not for a second. In my twenties and early thirties I was blind to a lot of things, but at forty I have my eyes wide open and what I had with Marcie wasn"t the forever kind of love. It died very quickly."
She looked down at her toes again, wondering how a person knew when love was real. She"d thought what she"d had with Greg was absolutely perfect.
"I thought I would love Greg forever, but it"s hard for me to remember his face. I was so shattered by his death, but..."
"But what?" he asked.
"But now I get angry."
"Why?"
"Because he knew how dangerous his mission was and he still let me go along. I shouldn"t have been there."
"No, you shouldn"t have."
Again she was surprised at telling him this. She hadn"t even told Serena. "I"m not blameless, though. I can be persuasive sometimes and Greg had a hard time saying no to me."
"I can imagine."
She raised her head. "Can you?"
"What?" His eyes jerked toward her as if her question startled him and she wondered if he realized he"d spoken out loud.
"I don"t think you"re listening to me."
"Oh, I"m listening." He walked to the window and pulled the curtain back slightly to gaze outside. "I get angry at him, too, for taking you into that situation. He must have been so blind in love that he ignored the dangers."
"That"s just it," she said. "If he really loved me, why would he do that?"
He turned from the window. "I don"t have an answer for you." All Daniel knew was that he would never expose her to that kind of danger, even it meant he"d never see her for the rest of his life. He didn"t want to talk about Greg Larson anymore or her relationship with him.
He reached for his cell phone and handed it to her. "Call Serena. She"s anxious to hear from you and it will make you feel better."
She quickly poked out the number and he took off his holster and gun, then removed his shoes. He tried not to listen to the conversation but he could hear the joy in Sarah"s voice just talking to Serena and he was glad. He couldn"t shake what she"d told him about Boyd, though. She"d been through so much and he felt an inner rage like he"d never felt before. He"d do anything just to ease her mind and in that instant he knew that he was way in over his head with Sarah Welch. He had been for a very long time.
The concern and caring had turned into something much deeper. When that had happened, he wasn"t sure. Maybe it was when she"d showed such enormous strength after her ordeal with Boyd. Or maybe when he"d seen her courage on the witness stand. It could have been all those times she"d shot him those cold glances because inside he"d known she was falling apart. She was great at helping other people, but she didn"t know how to help herself.
When she got the note from Boyd, he was the first person she"d called. He should be happy about that, but he wasn"t, not completely. She"d called for his help, like he"d wished for so many times in the past when he thought that she needed someone. Of course, he would help her by solving this case. He just wished she needed him for something more than that.
She talked to her grandmother and Ja.s.sy, too, and her features were animated, her beauty captivating. She and Serena were identical in looks yet their personalities were quite different. Serena was outgoing and friendly, while Sarah was quiet and reserved. Sarah had an inner softness that she hid behind a shield. It was exactly as Boyd had said. She was a combination of fire and ice and the coolness was the first thing that everyone noticed. Oddly, it was just the opposite for Daniel. He noticed her inner strength, her love for her sister, that need for love and the great pain she took to make sure no one got near the real Sarah.
She clicked off and laid the phone down, a content look on her face. "Thank you," she whispered. "I needed that. I was going to call today, but thought I"d wait until tonight when Serena was home."
He eased onto the sofa and stretched his legs out in front of him. "Everyone okay?"
"Yes," she answered. "Ja.s.sy just couldn"t understand why I had to work-that"s what Serena told her. I think they plug Ja.s.sy into an electrical socket every morning. She"s like a live wire."
"I noticed that. She has lots of energy."
"Gran said Serena wasn"t like that and Ethan said he wasn"t, either. They don"t know where she gets her overactive personality from."
"Were you like that?"
"Good heavens, no. I was very shy. At times, I felt isolated from the world."
"I felt that way, too." He surprised himself, telling her this.
She sat cross-legged, facing him. "Did you?"
"Not exactly the way you were. My brother and I went to boarding schools and we spent very little time at home. It wasn"t exactly an idyllic childhood."
"I always dreamed of having a real family, mother and father, brothers and sisters-a Norman Rockwell painting type thing."