Muriel gasped, but she didn"t deny it and Sarah knew they were getting to the root of the problem.
"Have you ever told her?" Sarah asked Dan.
"On our wedding night." Dan shifted uncomfortably. "She never answered me and I never made that mistake again."
Sarah was shocked, to say the least, and knew some blanks had to be filled in. "How did you meet?"
Dan shifted in his seat again. "My father owned a construction company and Muriel"s was an architect. They joined forces and started building shopping centers. The business became very profitable. I was an only child and so was Muriel and our parents decided we should get married."
"Because you were sleeping with every woman in Dallas and your father was afraid you"d get some girl pregnant." Muriel twisted her handkerchief.
"So it was an arranged marriage?" Sarah asked before Dan could retaliate.
"I wasn"t a raving beauty like Dan"s other girlfriends and he didn"t want to marry me."
"I never said that."
"I felt it every time you looked at me."
"Good G.o.d." Dan crossed his arms in anger.
Sarah had to bring this conversation back to the real problem. "Muriel, why haven"t you ever told Dan you love him?" She threw the question out there and it was dangerous, but the way they were living was more dangerous.
"I, uh, I"m just not able to do that."
"Why?"
Sarah waited and she thought Muriel would refuse to answer, then her words came. "Every night as my mother put me to bed she"d tell me that she loved me and I"d say I loved her, too. When I was six, she died. My father was a cold man and I wanted him to hold me and tell me he loved me. He said there was no such thing as love and I was never to say the word again. As I got older, I realized he was just hurting because his wife had died, but still, the damage was done. I couldn"t say those words-not even when my sons were born. I was afraid they"d be taken from me, too. I know that"s crazy because I"ve lost Drew and I never told him I loved him. I-I...never..." She sobbed loudly into her handkerchief.
Dan got up and knelt by her chair. "Muriel, look at me."
She raised her tear-stained face.
"I married you because I loved you and when you wouldn"t say those words, it almost killed me."
"You loved me?"
"Yes. If I didn"t want to marry you, I could have changed my father"s mind. I actually gave him the idea because I grew tired of trying to get your attention. The question is, how do you feel about me?"
"I"ll leave you two alone." Sarah got up and left the room, but not before she heard Muriel"s choked, "I-I...love you."
Sarah waited outside the door. Since everyone had gone home, the offices were quiet and empty. She glanced at her watch. Ten minutes. She wanted to give them all the time they needed. She never dreamed that with a little pushing so much emotion could erupt. Muriel had been suppressing destructive feelings for so long that it was way past time.
She could only imagine Daniel"s childhood, but then, hers hadn"t been idyllic, either. Everyone needed a deep, binding family love and she vowed that when Daniel came back she was going to say those words to him every day. First, he had to come home.
Finally they came out of the room. Muriel wasn"t crying anymore; her eyes were sparkling with happiness as she stared up at her husband.
"Thank you, Sarah," Dan said. "Muriel and I are going home."
"I"m going to fix my husband dinner," Muriel said in a proud tone. "I used to make a good omelet."
"Could we come back tomorrow?" Dan asked.
Sarah was taken aback. "You mean, as clients?"
"Yes. Muriel and I need to keep talking."
"You both could benefit from marriage counseling. I"ll see if Dr. Mason can fit you in."
"No, Sarah, please," Muriel pleaded. "I"d feel more comfortable talking to you."
Sarah hesitated. She was closely involved with their son and they needed therapy from someone who- "I"m sorry for my cra.s.sness," Muriel"s voice cut through her thoughts. "I think you"re a beautiful, courageous young woman and I apologize for my rudeness to you."
"Please, Sarah." Dan added his pleading.
She found she couldn"t say no. These were the parents of the man she loved. "If you come tomorrow at four, I"ll be glad to help you."
"Thank you." Muriel smiled.
"We"ll see you then," Dan called as they walked away arm-in-arm.
Sarah went home feeling better than she had in a very long time. If only Daniel was here. Please come home, Daniel.
ONE MORNING when she went in to work, Russ was waiting in her office.
"Russ," she said, startled.
"Have you heard from Daniel?" he asked.
"No, not a word." She laid her purse and briefcase on the desk.
"Boyd"s execution is on Wednesday. I thought you might have heard from him."
"No."
"Since Daniel"s not here, I"d take you if you wanted to go."
She bit her lip to still the agitation in her. "Thank you, Russ. I appreciate it, but I was notified and I declined. It"s not something I really want to witness."
"I understand. Just thought I"d make the offer." Russ fidgeted and she"d never seen him do that in all the years she"d known him. He was always very self-a.s.sured.
"Is there another reason you stopped by?"
He shoved his hands into his pockets and the toothpick slid to the other side of his mouth. "I, uh, been talking to my ex. She heard about the shooting on the news and that I was involved and she called. We"ve been talking without the anger and the tension."
"That"s very good," Sarah said.
"You see, the big problem in our marriage was my job. She said I brought it home and she wanted us to go to counseling together. I flatly refused. A real man doesn"t need counseling. He can solve his own problems."
"Have you changed your mind?" She had a feeling that this was the reason Russ was here.
"I see death every day and sometimes it"s hard to shake. That"s not easy for me to admit, but I want to kiss my child good-night and see her shining face in the morning. And when I"ve witnessed a horrifying death, I want to hold my wife at night. I"m tired of being alone. I want my family back. If I have to go to counseling to accomplish that, then I"ll do it." He glanced at her. "I think I can talk comfortably to you."
"Russ Devers, you"ve shattered all my illusions."
He grimaced. "Thought that would make your day."
"I"d be glad to help you and your wife," she told him, amazed he trusted her so much. "Have your wife make an appointment."
He let out a long breath. "Thank you." Then his eyes narrowed. "You won"t try to change me, will you?"
She hid a secret smile. "Outwardly, no. I"ll leave that to your wife. Inwardly, maybe a little."
"Daniel said I needed an att.i.tude adjustment."
This time she grinned. Daniel had influenced a lot of the people he"d worked with and hearing his name was uplifting. "The fact that you"re willing to try means a lot."
"Thanks, Sarah." Russ moved to the door. "I"m going to call my ex and maybe soon she won"t be my ex anymore."
At the door he stopped. "If you change your mind about Wednesday, just let me know."
She didn"t. On Wednesday evening she turned her radio on at the appointed time. She just wanted to know it was over. She listened carefully. "At six-seventeen Central Standard Time, Rudy Boyd was p.r.o.nounced dead."
The words did not generate a good feeling. They made her sick-too much hate, pain and suffering in the world. There was nothing good about that.
DANIEL LANDED IN Corpus Christi, Texas, rented a Jeep and headed for the coastline. This is where he and Drew went fishing, from the beaches of Padre Island to the bays of Rockport, Aransas Pa.s.s, Matagorda Bay and Port O"Connor. It was just the two of them being brothers, doing fun stuff. All the times they"d been here and he"d never seen any signs of Drew"s drug use. Or maybe he hadn"t wanted to.
He glanced at his watch and turned on the radio. He was well aware of what day it was and when he heard the news of Boyd"s death, he felt no victory. Death was never a victory. As Ethan had said, though, his reign of terror and violence was now over, but the aftermath of Boyd would be with everyone for a long time to come.
He was sure Sarah had heard the news and he should drive straight to Dallas to be with her. In his condition, though, he wasn"t any good to her...or himself. Here, where he"d spent time with Drew, he hoped to find the forgiveness he needed. For it was clear to him now that Sarah was right. He needed forgiveness-from himself. He yearned for it, struggled for it, yet he was still bound by guilt and pain.
FINALLY THE MOVE OUT of the house was complete. Gran was at the retirement villa and Sarah was settled into a town house. Gran, Serena and Sarah said a poignant goodbye to the old house, but a family with four children had bought it and they knew that happy laughter would soon fill its walls. They were content with the arrangement.
Sarah saw the Garretts regularly and she was amazed at the change in both of them. They were like two teenagers finding love for the very first time and it was fun for Sarah just to watch them. They were always touching each other. Muriel had taken up cooking and Dan teased her about her efforts. She also started playing golf so she could go with Dan when he played. The earlier resentment was gone and they were trying to be a family.
They talked a lot about Daniel, and Sarah enjoyed those times. Talking about Drew wasn"t so easy, but they decided they wanted to build a memorial for him. They were undecided, though, of exactly what and they wanted Daniel"s input. They needed him to come home.
She did, too.
DANIEL SAT ON THE DOCK in Rockport, Texas, watching the boats come in from a day of fishing. Life went on, people around him seemed busy. This was the way it should be. Then why did he still feel like c.r.a.p?
He swung to his feet and walked across the street to a restaurant. He headed for the bar and sat on a stool.
"Scotch, neat," he said when a waitress asked.
She set the drink in front of him and walked away. The bar was dimly lit and some music played in the background, but all Daniel was aware of was the big knot in his stomach.
"Mr. Garrett, is that you?"
Daniel raised his head to stare at a familiar face. Leo Thayer, the owner of the restaurant, smiled at him. He and Drew had come in here many times to eat and to get a beer and had become friends with Leo.
Daniel rubbed his beard. "Yeah. It"s me."
"Didn"t recognize you with all that hair. Looks like you been out fishing for a few days."
"No, not really."
Leo looked around. "Drew in the bathroom?"
Daniel"s stomach clenched. "No."
"Is he outside?"
"No."
"Where is he?"
Daniel gripped his gla.s.s until his fingers were numb. "He"s dead."
"Oh, no. I"m sorry."
Daniel took a long drink of scotch. "Thank you," he mumbled.
Leo watched him for a second. "Drew was so confused and..."
Daniel"s eyes narrowed. "And what?"
"Nothing." Leo nervously began to wipe the bar.
"Go ahead, Leo, finish what you were going to say."
"It doesn"t matter now."
Daniel reached over and grabbed the towel, stopping Leo from wiping. "And what?"
Leo swallowed. "I was just going to say that Drew was so confused most of the time and it was probably due to the drugs he was on."
"How do you know he was on drugs?"
"I shouldn"t have said anything. I only saw y"all a couple of times a year and..."
"How do you know?" Daniel asked again, feeling the anger churning through him. Did everyone know Drew was on drugs but him?
"From the times he was here," Leo said in an undertone.
"You saw Drew do drugs?"
Leo shook his head. "No, but I saw him buy them."