Which meant she was free to love him. He could barely breathe for fear of further upsetting her.
"I suddenly feel very alone," she murmured.
"I"m here," he answered softly, terrified he may not be enough, she may be seeking more than he could offer. He longed to reach out and touch her hair. Stroke his fingers down the softness of her cheek. He didn"t dare. Not yet.
"I"d just got used to you being my brother," she said. "And now I"ve lost you."
"I"m not lost," he said.
"You are to me," she replied. "Don"t you see? It was you and me-together-looking for our relatives. Now you"ve found yours and I"m happy for you. Really happy." She spun to face him. "But I"m by myself. I have no relatives at all. We have no connection except for some bizarre freak of timing that happened twenty-seven and a half years ago." She stared wildly into his eyes. "I wish...I wish...you"d never found me. I was happy before."
Shay gripped her upper arms and held tightly. His breath locked in his lungs at the harshness of her words. His hopes crumbled. He gasped, "Don"t say you wished you"d never met me, Joelle. I couldn"t bear it if that"s what you mean."
Her eyes opened wide-big blue pools gleaming with unshed tears. She gulped and lowered her gaze. He relaxed his fingers but didn"t let her go.
"No. I don"t mean that. I...I don"t know what I mean."
Her body sagged and he clutched her, unresisting, against his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "It"s so disappointing," she whispered.
"Is it?" She stiffened in his arms, waiting for his next comment. She didn"t draw away. A telltale tremor gave him courage. He said, "I"m not disappointed, I"m glad. In fact I"ve never been so delighted about anything in my entire life."
Joelle lifted her head and tilted it back slightly to look up at him. A shadow of bewilderment still clouded her face. She hadn"t understood. Her lips were tantalising centimetres from his own but he had to be sure. She had to be absolutely sure. He took the plunge.
"I love you," he said clearly. "And not as my sister. I"ve loved you for ages. It"s been pure h.e.l.l. Incest is not on my list of things to try." His laugh sounded grotesquely strangled.
Joelle stared wordlessly. Her face was blank with a surprise that shrivelled his heart. He clenched his teeth firmly together to prevent his jaw trembling. He steeled himself for her shocked rejection. An apology began working its way to his lips. His hands reluctantly loosened their hold on her sweet body. He closed his eyes briefly but they flew open when her lips brushed his, her arms slipped around his neck.
"I fell in love with you at first sight," she whispered. "I told Viv in the shop that first day you came in. Before I even knew your name."
"I can"t believe it," Shay murmured.
"Believe it. I was sick to the stomach when I found out you were my brother. It was a hideous, hideous secret."
"I know. Impossible to tell anyone. Most of all you."
"Impossible to stop that feeling."
"I"ve searched my whole life for you," he said as he gazed into eyes that shone with love. "But I never dreamed it would be you I found."
Neither knew who closed the gap between their lips but the kiss was as sweet as Shay had ever tasted and sweeter than Joelle had ever imagined a kiss could be.
"I never wanted a brother," Joelle said a few minutes later.
"I"ve already got a sister," Shay replied. "I don"t need two."
"I can"t call you John."
Shay kissed her again. "I don"t care."
He led her inside. Joelle slid the door closed and drew the curtains. Shay pulled her into his arms where she fitted perfectly.
And finally the ripples ceased their movement. The lie was stilled. Truth was told.
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