IT was during this period that I received my first baptism of dismay as patron of a high-cla.s.s restaurant. The occasion was a lunch to which I had invited a buyer from Philadelphia. The word "buyer" had a bewitching sound for me, inspiring me with awe and enthusiasm at once. The word "king"
certainly did not mean so much to me. The august person to whom I was doing homage on the occasion in question was a man named Charles M. Eaton, a full-blooded Anglo-Saxon of New England origin, with a huge round forehead and small, blue, extremely genial eyes. He was a large, fair-complexioned man, and the way his kindly little eyes looked from under his hemispherical forehead, like two swallows viewing the world from under the eaves of a roof, gave him a striking appearance. The immense restaurant, with its high, frescoed ceiling, the dazzling whiteness of its rows and rows of table-cloths, the crowd of well-dressed customers, the glint and rattle of knives and forks, the subdued tones of the orchestra, and the imposing black-and-white figures of the waiters struck terror into my Antomir heart.
The bill of fare was, of course, Chinese to me, though I made a pretense of reading it. The words swam before me. My inside pocket contained sufficient money to foot the most extravagant bill our lordly waiter was likely to present, but I was in constant dread lest my treasure disappear in some mysterious way; so, from time to time, I felt my breast to ascertain whether it was still there
The worst part of it all was that I had not the least idea what I was to say or do. The occasion seemed to call for a sort of table manners which were beyond the resources not only of a poor novice like myself, but also of a trained specialist like Dora
Finally my instinct of self-preservation whispered in my ear, "Make a clean breast of it." And so, dropping the bill of fare with an air of mock despair, I said, jovially: "I"m afraid you"ll have to tell me what to do, Mr. Eaton. It"s no use bluffing. I have never been in such a fine restaurant in my life. I am scared to death, Mr.
Eaton. Take pity."
The Philadelphian, who was a slow-spoken, slow-witted, though shrewd, man, was perplexed at first
"I see," he said, coloring, and looking confusedly at me. The next minute he seemed to realize the situation and to enjoy it, too, but even then he was apparently embarra.s.sed. I cracked another joke or two at my own expense, until finally he burst into a hearty laugh and cheerfully agreed to act as master of ceremonies. Not only did he do the ordering, explaining things to me when the waiter was not around, but he also showed me how to use my napkin, how to eat the soup, the fish, the meat, what to do with the finger-bowl, and so forth and so on, to the minutest detail
"I am afraid one lesson won"t be enough," I said. "You must give me another chance."
"With pleasure," he replied. "Only the next "lesson" will be on me."
And then he had to tell me what "on me" meant
He took a fancy to me and that meant orders, not only from him, but also from some people of his acquaintance, buyers from other towns
I sought to dress like a genteel American, my favorite color for clothes and hats being (and still is) dark brown. It became my dark hair well, I thought. The difference between taste and vulgar ostentation was coming slowly, but surely, I hope. I remember the pa.s.sionate efforts I made to learn to tie a four-in-hand cravat, then a recent invention. I was forever watching and striving to imitate the dress and the ways of the well-bred American merchants with whom I was, or trying to be, thrown. All this, I felt, was an essential element in achieving business success; but the ambition to act and look like a gentleman grew in me quite apart from these motives
Now, Dora seemed to notice these things in me, and to like them.
So I would parade my newly acquired manners before her as I did my neckties or my English vocabulary.
After that lecture I gave her on adverbs she no longer called my English in question. To be educated and an "American lady" had, thanks to Lucy"s influence, become the great pa.s.sion of her life. It almost amounted to an obsession. She thought me educated and a good deal of an American, so she looked up to me and would listen to my harangues reverently.
CHAPTER X
ONE Sat.u.r.day evening she said to me: "Lord! you are so educated. I wish I had a head like yours."
"Why, you have an excellent head, Dora," I replied. "You have no reason to complain."
She sighed
"I wish I had not gone into business," I resumed
I had already told her, more than once, in fact, how I had been about to enter college when an accident had led me astray; so I now referred to those events, dwelling regretfully upon the sudden change I had made in my life plans
"It was the devil that put it in my head to become a manufacturer,"
I said, bitterly, yet with relish in the "manufacturer." "Well, one can be a manufacturer and educated man at the same time," she consoled me
"Of course. That"s exactly what I always say," I returned, joyously.
"Still, I wish I had stuck to my original plan. There was a lady in Antomir who advised me to prepare for college. She was always speaking to me about it."
It was about 10 o"clock. Max was away to his dancing-schools. The children were asleep. We were alone in the living-room
I expected her to ask who that Antomir lady was, but she did not, so I went on speaking of Matilda of my own accord. I sketched her as an "aristocratic" young woman, the daughter of one of the leading families in town, accomplished, clever, pretty, and "modern."
"It was she, in fact, who got me the money for my trip to America," I said, lowering my voice, as one will when a conversation a.s.sumes an intimate character
"Was it?" Dora said, also in a low voice
"Yes. It is a long story. It is nearly five years since I left home, but I still think of it a good deal. Sometimes I feel as if my heart would snap unless I had somebody to tell about it."
This was my way of drawing Dora into a flirtation, my first attempt in that direction, though in my heart I had been making love to her for weeks
I told her the story of my acquaintance with Matilda. She listened with non-committal interest, with an amused, patronizing glimmer of a smile
"You did not fall in love with her, did you?" she quizzed me as she might Lucy
"That"s the worst part of it," I said, gravely
"Is it?" she asked, still gaily, but with frank interest now
I recounted the episode at length. To put it in plain English, I was using my affair with Matilda (or shall I say her affair with me?) as a basis for an adventure with Dora. At first I took pains to gloss over those details in which I had cut an undignified figure, but I soon dropped all embellishments. The episode stood out so bold in my memory. its appeal to my imagination was so poignant, that I found an intoxicating satisfaction in conveying the facts as faithfully as I knew how. To be telling a complete, unvarnished truth is in itself a pleasure. It is as though there were a special sense of truth and sincerity in our make-up (just as there is a sense of musical harmony, for example), and the gratification of it were a source of delight.
Nor was this my only motive for telling Dora all. I had long since realized that the disdain and mockery with which Matilda handled me had been but a cloak for her interest in my person. So when I was relating to Dora the scenes of my ignominy I felt that the piquant circ.u.mstances surrounding them were not unfavorable to me
Anyhow, I was having a singularly intimate talk with Dora and she was listening with the profoundest interest, all the little tricks she employed to disguise it notwithstanding
In depicting the scene of the memorable night when Matilda came to talk to me at my bedside I emphasized the fact that she had called me a ninny
"I did not know what she meant," I said.
Dora t.i.ttered, looking at the floor shamefacedly. "The nasty thing!"
she said
"What do you mean?" I inquired, dishonestly
"I mean just what I say. She is a nasty thing, that grand lady of yours." And she added another word--the East Side name for a woman of the streets--that gave me a shock
"Don"t call her that," I entreated. "Please don"t. You are mistaken about her. I a.s.sure you she is a highly respectable lady. She has a heart of gold," I added, irrelevantly
"Well, well! You are still in love with her, aren"t you?"
I was tempted to say: "No. It is you I now love." But I merely said, dolefully: "No. Not any more."
She contemplated me amusedly and broke into a soft laugh
The next time we were alone in the house I came back to it. I added some details. I found a lascivious interest in dwelling on our pa.s.sionate kisses, Matilda"s and mine. Also, it gave me morbid pleasure to have her behold me at Matilda"s feet, lovelorn, disdained, crushed, yet coveted, kissed, triumphant
Dora listened intently. She strove to keep up an amused air, as though listening to some childish nonsense, but the look of her eye, tense or flinching, and the warm color that often overspread her cheeks, betrayed her
CHAPTER XI