The yard was crowded with people. It was the greatest sensation we children had ever enjoyed there. We remained out chattering of the event till the windows were aglitter with Sabbath lights
I was in a trance. The ceremony was a poem to me, something inexpressibly beautiful and sacred.
Presently a boy, somewhat older than I, made a jest at the young couple"s expense. What he said was a startling revelation to me.
Certain things which I had known before suddenly appeared in a new light to me. I relished the discovery and I relished the deviltry of it. But the poem vanished. The beauty of the wedding I had just witnessed, and of weddings in general, seemed to be irretrievably desecrated
That boy"s name was Naphtali. He was a trim-looking fellow with curly brown hair, somewhat near-sighted. He was as poor as the average boy in the yard and as poorly dressed, but he was the tidiest of us. He would draw, with a piece of chalk, figures of horses and men which we admired. He knew things, good and bad, and from that Friday I often sought his company. Unlike most of the other boys, he talked little, throwing out his remarks at long intervals, which sharpened my sense of his wisdom. His father never let him attend the manoeuvers, yet he knew more about soldiers than any of the other boys, more even than I, though I had that retired soldier, the sheepskin man, to explain things military to me.
One summer evening Naphtali and I sat on a pile of logs in the yard, watching a boy who was "playing" on a toy fiddle of his own making. I said: "I wish I knew how to play on a real fiddle, don"t you?"
Naphtali made no answer. After a little he said: "You must think it is the bow that does the playing, don"t you?"
"What else does it?" I asked, perplexed
"It"s the fingers of the other hand, those that are jumping around."
"Is it?"
I did not understand, but I was deeply impressed all the same. The question bothered me all that evening. Finally I submitted it to my mother: "Mamma, Naphtali says when you play on a fiddle it is not the bow that makes the tune, but the fingers that are jumping around. Is it true?"
She told me not to bother her with foolish questions, but the retired soldier, who had overheard my query, volunteered to answer it.
"Of course it is not the bow," he said
"But if you did not work the bow the strings would not play, would they?" I urged.
"You could play a tune by pinching them," he answered. "But if you just kept pa.s.sing the bow up and down there would be no tune at all."
I plied him with further questions and he answered them all, patiently and fondly, ill.u.s.trating his explanations with a thread for a violin string, my mother looking from him to me beamingly
When we were through she questioned him: "Do you think he understands it all?" "He certainly does. He has a good head," he answered, with a wink. And she flushed with happiness
CHAPTER III
THE tuition fee at a school for religious instruction or cheder was from eight to ten rubles (five dollars) for a term of six months. My mother could not afford it. On the other hand, she would not hear of sending me to the free cheder of our town, because of its reputation for poor instruction. So she importuned and hara.s.sed two distant relatives of ours until they agreed to raise part of the sum between them. The payments were made with anything but promptness, the result being that I was often turned out of school.
Mother, however, would lose no time in bringing me back. She would implore the schoolmaster to take pity on the poor, helpless woman that she was, a.s.suring him, with some weird oaths, that she would pay him every penny. If that failed she would burst into a flood of threats and imprecations, daring him to let a fatherless boy grow up in ignorance of the Word of G.o.d. This was followed by similar scenes at the houses of my cousins, until finally I was allowed to resume my studies, sometimes at the same cheder, sometimes at some other one. There were scores of such private schools in our town, and before I got through my elementary religious education I had become acquainted with a considerable number of them
Sometimes when a teacher or his wife tried to oust me, I would clutch at the table and struggle sullenly until they yielded
I may explain that instruction in these cheders was confined to the Hebrew Old Testament and rudiments of the Talmud, the exercises lasting practically all day and part of the evening. The cla.s.s-room was at the same time the bedroom, living-room, and kitchen of the teacher"s family. His wife and children were always around. These cheder teachers were usually a haggard-looking lot with full beards and voices hoa.r.s.e with incessant shouting.
A special man generally came for an hour to teach the boys to write. As he was to be paid separately, I was not included. The feeling of envy, abas.e.m.e.nt, and self-pity with which I used to watch the other boys ply their quills is among the most painful memories of my childhood
During the penmanship lesson I was generally kept busy in other directions.
The teacher"s wife would make me help her with her housework, go her errands, or mind the baby (in one instance I became so attached to the baby that when I was expelled I missed it keenly)
I seized every opportunity to watch the boys write and would practise the art, with chalk, on my mother"s table or bed, on the door of our bas.e.m.e.nt room, on many a gate or fence. Sometimes a boy would let me write a line or two in his copy-book.
Sometimes, too, I would come to school before the schoolmaster had returned from the morning service at the synagogue, and practise with pen and ink, following the copy of some of my cla.s.smates. One of my teachers once caught me in the act. He held me up as an ink-thief and forbade me come to school before the beginning of exercises
Otherwise my teachers scarcely ever complained of my behavior.
As to the progress I was making in my studies, they admitted, some even with enthusiasm, that mine was a "good head."
Nevertheless, to be beaten by them was an every-day experience with me
Overworked, underfed, and goaded by the tongue-lashings of their wives, these enervated drudges were usually out of sorts. Bursts of ill temper, in the form of invective, hair-pulling, ear-pulling, pinching, caning, "nape-cracking," or "chin-smashing," were part of the routine, and very often I was the scapegoat for the sins of other boys. When a pupil deserved punishment and the schoolmaster could not afford to inflict it because the culprit happened to be the pet of a well-to-do family, the teacher"s anger was almost sure to be vented on me. If I happened to be somewhat absent-minded (the only offense I was ever guilty of), or was not quick enough to turn over a leaf, or there was the slightest halt in my singsong, I received a violent "nudge" or a pull by the ear.
"Lively, lively, carca.s.s you!" I can almost hear one of my teachers shout these words as he digs his elbow into my side. "The millions one gets from your mother!"
This man would beat and abuse me even by way of expressing approval
"A bright fellow, curse him!" he would say, punching me with an air of admiration. Or, "Where did you get those brains of yours, you wild beast?" with a violent pull at my forelock
During the winter months, when the exercises went on until 9 in the evening, the candle or kerosene was paid for by the boys, in rotation. When it was my turn to furnish the light it often happened that my mother was unable to procure the required two copecks (one cent). Then the teacher or his wife, or both, would curse me for a sponge and a robber, and ask me why I did not go to the charity school
Almost every teacher in town was known among us boys by some nickname, which was usually borrowed from some trade. If he had a predilection for pulling a boy"s hair we would call him "wig-maker" or "brush-maker"; if he preferred to slap or "calcimine" the culprit"s face we would speak of him as a mason.
A "coachman" was a teacher who did not spare the rod or the whip; a "carpenter," one who used his finger as a gimlet, boring a pupil"s side or cheek; a "locksmith," one who had a weakness for "turning the screw," or pinching
The greatest "locksmith" in town was a man named Shmerl. But then he was more often called simply Shmerl the Pincher. He was one of my schoolmasters.
He seemed to prefer the flesh of plump, well-fed boys, but as these were usually the sons of prosperous parents, he often had to forego the pleasure and to gratify his appet.i.te on me. There was something morbid in his cruel pa.s.sion for young flesh something perversely related to s.e.x, perhaps. He was a young man with a wide, sneering mouth
He would pinch me black and blue till my heart contracted with pain. Yet I never uttered a murmur. I was too profoundly aware of the fact that I was kept on sufferance to risk the slightest demonstration. I had developed a singular faculty for bearing pain, which I would parade before the other boys. Also, I had developed a relish for flaunting my martyrdom, for being an object of pity
Oh, how I did hate this man, especially his sneering mouth! In my helplessness I would seek comfort in dreams of becoming a great man some day, rich and mighty, and avenging myself on him.
Behold! Shmerl the Pincher is running after me, cringingly begging my pardon, and I, omnipotent and formidable, say to him: "Do you remember how you pinched the life out of me for nothing? Away with you, you cruel beast!"
Or I would vision myself dropping dead under one of his onslaughts. Behold him trembling with fright, the heartless wretch! Serves him right.
If my body happened to bear some mark of his cruelty I would conceal it carefully from my mother, lest she should quarrel with him. Moreover, to betray school secrets was considered a great "sin."
One night, as I was changing my shirt, anxiously manoeuvering to keep a certain spot on my left arm out of her sight, she became suspicious
"Hold on. What are you hiding there?" she said, stepping up and inspecting my bare arm. She found an ugly blotch. "Woe is me! A lamentation upon me!" she said, looking aghast. "Who has been pinching you?"
"n.o.body."
"It is that beast of a teacher, isn"t it?"
"No."
"Don"t lie, Davie. It is that a.s.sa.s.sin, the cholera take him! Tell me the truth. Don"t be afraid."
"A boy did it."
"What is his name?"