CHAPTER XIX
I HOPED she would yield, but she did not. I found myself in the grip of an iron will and I did as I was bidden
When I set out in quest of a furnished room I instinctively betook myself to the neighborhood of Stuyvesant Park. That park had acquired a melancholy fascination for me. As though to make amends for my agonies, I determined to move into a good, s.p.a.cious room, even if I had to pay three or four times as much as I had been paying at the Margolises". I found a sunny front room with two windows in an old brown-stone house on East Nineteenth Street, between Second Avenue and First, a short distance from the little park and near an Elevated station. The curtains, the carpet, the huge, soft arm-chair, and the lounge struck me as decidedly "aristocratic." To cap the climax of comfort and "swellness," the landlady--a gray little German-American--had, at my request, a bookcase placed between the mantelpiece and one of the windows. It was a "regular" bookcase, doors and all, not a mere "what-not," and the sight of it swelled my breast
"I shall forget all my troubles here," I thought. "I am going to buy a complete set of Spencer and some other books. Won"t the bookcase look fine! I shall read, read, read."
When I reported to Dora that I was ready to move, her face clouded
"You seem to be glad to," she said, with venom, dropping her eyes
"Glad? Glad? Why, I am not going to move, then. May I stay here, darling mine? May I?"
"Are you really sorry you have to move?" she asked, fixing a loving glance at me. "Do you really love me?"
There were tears in her eyes. I attempted to come close to her, to kiss her, but she held me back
"No, dearest," she said, shaking her head. "Move out to-morrow, will you? Let"s be done with it."
"And what will Max say?" I asked, sardonically. Will nothing seem strange to him nothing at all?"
"Never mind that."
She never mentioned Max to me now, not even by p.r.o.noun
"Then you must know him to be an idiot." Now I hated Max with all my heart.
"Don"t," she implored
"Oh, I see. He"s dear to you now," I laughed
"Have a heart, Levinsky. Have a heart. Must you keep shedding my blood? Have you no pity at all?"
"But it is all so ridiculous. It will look strange," I argued, seriously.
"He is bound to get suspicious."
"I have thought it all out. Don"t be uneasy. I"ll say we had a quarrel over your board bill."
"A nice dodge, indeed! It may fool Dannie, not him."
"Leave it all to me. Better tell me what sort of lodgings you have got. Is it a decent room? Plenty of air and sunshine? But, no. Don"t tell me anything. I mustn"t know." I sneered
She was absorbed in thought, flushed, nervous.
Presently she said, with an effect of speaking to herself: "It"s sweet to suffer for what is right."
I moved out according to her program. I came home at 10 the first evening.
My double room, with its great arm-chair, carpets, bookcase, imposing lace curtains, and the genteel silence of the street outside, was a prison to me.
I attempted to read, but there was a lump in my throat and the lines swam before me
I went out, roamed about the streets, dropped in at a Hungarian cafe, took another ramble, and returned to my room
I tossed about on my great double bed. I sat up in front of one of my two windows, gazing at a street-lamp. It was not solely Dora, but also Lucy and Dannie that I missed. Only the image of Max now aroused hostile feelings in me
Max called at my shop the very next day. The sight of him cut me to the quick. I received him in morose silence
"What"s the matter? What"s the matter?" he inquired, with pained amazement.
"What did you two quarrel about?"
I made no answer. His presence oppressed me. My surly reticence was no mere acting. But I knew that he misinterpreted it into grim resentment of Dora"s sally, as though I said, "Your wife"s conduct had better be left undiscussed."
"What nonsense! She charged you too much, did she? Is that the way it all began? Did she insult you? Well, women-folk are liable to flare up, you know. Tell me all about it. I"ll straighten it out between you. The children miss you awfully. Come, don"t be a fool, Levinsky. Who ever took the words of a woman seriously?
What did she say that you should take it so hard?"
"You had better ask her," I replied, with a well-acted frown
"Ask her! She gets wild when I do. I never saw her so wild. She thinks you insulted her first. Well, she is a woman, but you aren"t one, are you? Come to the house this evening, will you?"
"That"s out of the question."
"Then meet me somewhere else. I want to have a talk with you. It"s all so foolish." I pleaded important other engagements, but he insisted that I should meet him later in the evening, and I had to make the appointment. I promised to be at a Ca.n.a.l Street cafe on condition that he did not mention the disagreeable episode nor offer to effect a reconciliation between Dora and myself
"You"re a tough customer. As tough as Dora," he said
When I came to the cafe, at about 11, I found him waiting for me.
He kept his promise about avoiding the subject of Dora, but he talked of women, which jarred on me inordinately now. His lecherous fibs and philosophy made him literally unbearable to me. To turn the conversation I talked shop, and this bored him.
About a week later he called on me again. He informed me that Dora had taken a new apartment up in Harlem, where the rooms were even more modern and cheaper than on Clinton Street
"I wouldn"t mind staying where we are," he observed. "But you know how women are. Everybody is moving up-town, so she must move, too."
My face hardened, as if to say: "Why will you speak of your wife?
You know I can"t bear to hear of her." At the same time I said to myself: "Poor Dora! She must have found it awful to live in the old place, now that I am no longer there."
His next visit at my shop took place after a lapse of three or four weeks.
He descanted upon his new home and the Harlem dwellings in general, and I made an effort to show him cordial attention and to bear myself generally as though there were no cause for estrangement between us, but I failed
At last he said, resentfully: "What"s the matter with you? Why are you so sour? If you and Dora have had a falling out, is that any reason why you and I should not be good friends?" "Why, why?" I protested. "Who says I am sour?"
We parted on very friendly terms. But it was a long time before I saw him again, and then under circ.u.mstances that were a disagreeable surprise to me