Chapter 204
Feng Zhiwei immediately tried to explain: “The truth is that His Highness is gay.”
Hua Qiong laughed, her voice tinkling: “You are very interesting... How could a person like His Highness be gay?”
“What kind of person?” Feng Zhiwei asked with great interest, curious how other’s say Ning Yi.
“His Highness is not an affectionate man; on the contrary, he is very heartless.” Hua Qiong explained. “You did not see what happened in South Sea with your own eyes, but His Highness’s ruthless and cold acts shocked many people. He is a great man suited for great things, and his determination and perseverance lets nothing distract him from his goals. His actions are as fierce as lightning; a man like him who sets his sights on the world thinks and plans about everything, and he would never allow any errors or mistakes... not even if they came from his own heart.”
Feng Zhiwei smiled: “Yes, he holds himself well.”
“He is only different around you.” Hua Qiong concluded boldly.
Feng Zhiwei was silent, a gentle warmth in her eyes. Hua Qiong sat beside her cheerfully smiling, the autumn sunlight spilling out on the large, white stone yard behind her, vast like an ocean.
“Why do you want to leave?” Feng Zhiwei changed the subject after a moment.
“For my own happiness.” Hua Qiong replied. “I am not in Huaishi’s heart, not even if I marry him. He only agreed before because it was useful, and to have him silently accept someone else’s child as Yan Changtian? I would not be willing even if he were.”
“You deserve this.” Feng Zhiwei calmly replied. “If you had not cast aside your name and risked your life, Huaishi would not be here today. If he chooses some other woman, I would be the first one to stop him.”
“He is willing to marry me, but I am not willing to marry him.” Hua Qiong smiled, proud. “How could I, Hua Qiong, marry a man who forces himself to be with me? If I marry him, even if he respects me for his entire life, he will never love me.”
Feng Zhiwei gazed into the woman’s complicated eyes and finally understood her pride and composure. This marriage would always leave a knot in Madam Chen and Yan Huaishi’s hearts. They would always feel wronged — an ordinary village girl pregnant with another man’s child could never be a proper match for the Yan Family Head, and even if Yan Huaishi cared for her, he did not love her.
Another girl might still marry Yan Huaishi because she had earned it, but Hua Qiong would not.
“When you leave South Sea, I want to follow you.” Hua Qiong said sincerely, holding Feng Zhiwei’s hand. “You have risen in this world and claimed a place in the Imperial Court, stepping into the purple clouds. I greatly admire you, and I wish to stay by your side so that you can bring me with you to see more of the heavens and earth.”
“You must understand, once you leave, Huaishi will owe you nothing. He will likely marry another woman.”
“If he can forget me so easily, why should I risk my life and happiness for him?” Hua Qiong smiled calmly. “Though I like him, I also have my own bottom line.”
The young girl sat perfectly straight like a tall, strong pine saluting the sun. Her eyes shone bright and brilliant, and her face was calm and clear.
“I don’t want him to marry me out of pity or grat.i.tude just to end up in an imperfect marriage, and I do not want take on the mantle and responsibilities of Madam Yan because my husband and mother-in-law think they own me. I want to hold my own fate, and I want to grow in Tian Sheng Dynasty’s mountains and seas. I want Yan Huaishi to one day have no choice but to life his eyes and see me, and I want him to one day know that my love for him is taller than mountains and wider than oceans, surpa.s.sing everything.”
After this conversation with Hua Qiong, Feng Zhiwei spent a long time thinking. Hua Qiong sitting under the autumn sun filled her mind’s eye as her words echoed in her ears, and Feng Zhiwei felt that only an unfettered, gallant woman could dare swear that her love surpa.s.sed mountains and oceans and everything else, and Feng Zhiwei believed her.
A sudden envy and quiet sadness filled her heart and she realized that Yan Huaishi was truly uncommonly blessed.
Through that quiet night, Feng Zhiwei lay sleepless and full of thoughts. Where was Ning Yi’s army now? The South Sea Province neighbored Minnan, so he must be marching through the night. She thought of his eyes — he had stayed so long, delaying his trip and holding off on his treatment for her. How could he lead his army with such a malady? Would he be able to find the right medicine? What if the long delay meant that he would never see again? Of course he did not need to personally fight, but arrows and sword have no eyes. What if? What would she do?
Cold sweat covered her and thoughts of Gu Nanyi flashed into mind. That mysterious physician could rush over and catch up to Ning Yi and protect him. She lifted her eyes and began knocking on the wall.
Young Master Gu immediately floated down and touched her forehead.
Feng Zhiwei stirred, staring in shock — amazing! Young Master Gu was voluntarily touching someone!
Young Master Gu ignored her astonished gazed; he had broken so many of his rules recently that touching her forehead seemed like nothing. After rubbing his hand over her entire face, he felt that she was somewhat warm, but he had to touch his own face to compare.
In order to touch his face, he had to lift his veil a little. Feng Zhiwei held her breath as Gu Nanyi revealed some of his face, hating herself for not lighting an oil lamp. After a moment, she comforted herself; the more she saw, the more serious to consequences that would follow.
In order to avoid those consequences, she hurriedly turned away. Meanwhile, Young Master Gu had come to his conclusion — Feng Zhiwei’s body was burning from all the thoughts that filled her mind so Young Master Gu thought that her fever had come back, so he quickly dragged over a quilt, skillfully arranged it by the foot of the bed, and then curled up on the ground.
Feng Zhiwei watched in astonishment. What?
She had not known that Young Master Gu had watched over her, and Young Master Gu had never brought it up. Feng Zhiwei could only stare blankly as Young Master Gu fell asleep hugging his blanket, his tall body curled up around the short feet of the bed. The hard floor was clearly uncomfortable and Feng Zhiwei had a hard time reconciling the imperious young man who cared so much for his own comfort and the quiet figure laying by her bed. As she looked down at the calm and casual way he slept, it was very clear that this habit had not formed in just a day.
Feng Zhiwei leaned over, her hand clutching her bedside. She stared down at Gu Nanyi and could not help but think back to how Ning Yi had rushed over and banged himself against her bed, and her heart trembled and her grip tightened on the bed’s wood, and a small piece of wood chip drifted down onto Gu Nanyi’s veil.
Gu Nanyi opened his eyes and looked up into Feng Zhiwei’s staring eyes and he remembered what he had wanted to say that very first night he began laying by her bed, waiting for her to wake.