Chapter 232
Everyone was forced to adapt to the world, and the light freedom of the past falls away like wilting flowers.
The tent flap opened and Gu Nanyi entered, two monkeys on his shoulders and a baby in his arms. He was always this stubborn and persistent, and raising monkeys and children was no exception.
Feng Zhiwei was morbidly curious. It had been some time since she was in the mood to help him take care of the child, and the baby was still alive? And the child was even white and chubby, incredibly attached to the jade statue, not happy with another other arms.
Children were truly close to whoever they spent time with, whether a wet-nurse or a wet-man.
“It’s time to decide on a name.” Feng Zhiwei said as she carefully took the baby. The two little monkeys jumped down onto her hands, gently gnawing on her fingers.
The locket around the child’s neck was inscribed with her birth date, and she was almost a full year now. It was time for a formal name.
“I know.” Gu Nanyi replied.
“En, what name were you thinking?” Feng Zhiwei nodded.
“I know.”
“Ah?” Feng Zhiwei echoed, confused.
“I know (Zhi Dao).” Gu Nanyi repeated, pointing at the baby.
Feng Zhiwei finally understood.
Feng Zhiwei stared up at Gu Nanyi, surrendering the child as Gu Nanyi took her back into his arms, his face utterly serious: “Gu Zhidao.”
“...”
“I mean, you can’t call her that.” Feng Zhiwei finally sighed, patiently explaining the matter to Young Master Gu. “She will be a woman, and if you give her this name, she’ll grow up to hate you.”
Young Master Gu looked up with confusion, staring blankly at her, his eyes brighter than the steppe stars. Finally: “Why?”
Feng Zhiwei latched onto the opportunity and continued: “A girl needs an elegant and beautiful name or else people will laugh at her.”
“But I think I Know is the best.” Young Master Gu replied calmly.
Feng Zhiwei fell silent. Her illness in South Sea had left a deep impact on Gu Nanyi, and he felt that the root of all his problems was not knowing, so now he had set his entire being on “knowing,” so much so that this poor baby was no forced to take on the name “I Know.”
“How about ZhiXiao.” Feng Zhiwei finally relented, offering a compromise. “Gu Zhixiao. Zhixiao also means to know. Isn’t that good? And she’ll be like my little sister.” [1]
Young Master Gu thought for a while before nodding, approving the name. He still had one quibble though: “Your daughter.”
Feng Zhiwei almost fell, choking on her saliva.
My daughter?
She wanted to protest, but she did not dare. She was afraid that the problem would only grow, and then Young Master Gu would go out and claim “my daughter,” and then everything would explode.
“You adopted her.” Feng Zhiwei said firmly. “Yours.”
Young Master Gu nodded and replied. “Mine is yours.”
Feng Zhiwei breathed deeply before deciding to ignore the problem. Fortunately, Gu Nanyi did not see the problem in the first place so felt no need to argue, and he announced what he had come in to say: “Wei Zhi was struck by a landslide on his way back to Dijing and was washed away. His whereabouts are unknown. Zong Chen said.”
Feng Zhiwei paused. Why was Zong Cheng speaking through Gu Nanyi? But then she immediately understood — Zong Chen knew she was trying to wake Gu Nanyi from his sleepwalking and was helping her.
Wei Zhi’s whereabouts are unknown... Feng Zhiwei fell into silent thought. Ning Yi was not revealing her double ident.i.ty and was even crafting an alibi for her. Why? Did he think that she would one day use her Wei Zhi ident.i.ty to return to the Imperial Court?
She had been prepared for Ning Yi to expose her, and so she had hurried away from Dijing. The steppes were far and remote, and it would be difficult for even the Tian Sheng Emperor to throw aside all of Wei Zhi’s meritorious achievements to punish her for her deception.
But he had not spoken.
Since he had already moved so ruthlessly against hers, why was he not digging out the roots after cutting the weeds? This did not seem like Ning Yi.
Only Ning Yi and Ning Cheng knew of her dual ident.i.ty. Not even Xin Ziyan knew, otherwise the Emperor would have known.
But why would Ning Yi and Xin Ziyan only start the attack and not finish it? Feng Zhiwei did not understand and she did not want to try to understand. In the end, the blow had struck and the results were cruel and devastating. Nothing could balance this debt.
With the information relayed, Gu Nanyi brought out a nursing bottle to feed Gu Zhixiao, holding her with his left hand and patiently feeding her with his right. He held a small piece of cotton cloth between his fingers to wipe any milk that dripped out of her mouth, all his actions gentle and smooth, not at all like his first time drenching the baby with milk.
The two Pen Monkeys stood on his hand, dutifully helping hold up the bottle.
The oil lamp shone through Gu Nanyi’s veil, painting the curves and angles of his beautiful face. His long lashes were lidded with peace and calm, and though he was still his awkward jade statue self, that jade statue seemed gentle and alive, glowing with light.
Feng Zhiwei quietly took in the amusing, heart-warming moment, a quiet joy flickering across her eyes.
She had seen so much unbridled coldness in this world, but in this moment all she saw was beauty and purity.
“Brother Gu...” Feng Zhiwei suddenly began. “Zhi Wei disappearing means he might reappear. What do you think?”
In the future, she would have him partic.i.p.ate in the world and needed to teach him to think on his own.
But Gu Nanyi refused to think and immediately replied: “No.”
“Why?”
After finishing the feeding, Gu Nanyi carefully handed her Zhixiao.
“Sadness.”
He looked down at Feng Zhiwei, thinking back to that first snow in Dijing. She had knelt in the deep snows by two graves, using her hands to smooth out the dirt by the tombs.
She had been quiet, not crying.
As he watched her moving laborious in the heavy snow, he had suddenly felt that the grey sky above was dreary and oppressing, as if pressuring his heart.
He had asked her, what was this heavy feeling making it so difficult to breathe.
She answered, sadness.
Sadness.
So this was sadness.
That day he had stayed by her side as the sun set and rose, and when the red sun struggled past the clouds on the edge of the mountain, the bright light breaking free and sweeping out over thousands upon thousands of miles, he finally understood something he had never before known.
[1] T/N: 知晓,晓 dawn, know. It p.r.o.nounced exactly like 小,little. Feng Zhiwei’s Wei also means little, tiny, micro.