"Then why"d you put me through all this, d.a.m.n you?" I shouted.
As if in answer, something bounced off a high shelf & fell toward my chest. I caught it: Taliktrum"s pearl.
His laughter mocked me from above. "Not necessarily necessarily, you say. And I"d hoped to hear it straight from a giant"s mouth, just this once: either Yes, I would kill you all Yes, I would kill you all. Or No, I would fight for your people even against my own No, I would fight for your people even against my own. The way my aunt did, Fiffengurt. But of course, you haven"t thought about it. Goodbye."
There was a slight sc.r.a.ping noise in an upper corner. He"s slipping out some rat-hole or secret door, I thought. On an impulse, I called out, "Lord Taliktrum?"
The sc.r.a.ping stopped.
"Diadrelu was only going to kill herself if she was certain it was best for the clan certain it was best for the clan. Not because something wounded her heart, or pained her personally. Although many things did. You understand?"
Silence. I cleared my throat & went on: "You"re not selfish, you little people. You"re better than us in that respect. Don"t be selfish about your pain, man. Go, if you have to. Run away from your cult, or from your old man. But don"t write any letter swearing you won"t be back. Tell them you"re off-following a vision or whatnot. Surely it"s better for "em to have someone they can go on believing in? And I"ll tell you this as well: I"ve done some running in my time. All sailors have. But if you live long enough you"ll find that most of us are running in circles."
Taliktrum said nothing & there was no more noise from above. I suppose I"ll never know if he heard my advice. But as I sat there, listening to the cheers grow louder, it occurred to me for the very first time that Taliktrum was an Etherhorder, like me.
I am exhausted; the lamp is sputtering out. I wonder where he has gone in this alien city. Rin keep him, the little tyrant, first of us to abandon Chathrand Chathrand of his own free will. of his own free will.
7. Scribbled in the margin of this page, Fiffengurt adds: "This far south, only the tips & branches of the Holy Tree peek over the horizon, in the hour before dawn. Mr. Bolutu has ventured the farcical opinion that the Milk Tree is no tree at all, but merely the diffuse light of millions of stars, too faint to be spied one by one. I fear at times that the fellow is delusional. He sometimes speaks of Arqual & the Mzithrin in the past tense, as one might of nations that have ceased to exist." -EDITOR.
8. Rule Thirty of the Ninety Rules of the Rinfaith: "What a man cannot afford to lose at dice should not be wagered; what he can should be given to those in need. Thus the man of virtue wallows not in sordid games." Younger monks of the Rinfaith (starting with Artus in 916) labeled this one of the "Killjoy Rules," and it is likely that Fiffengurt was aware of this noisy minority. Artus claims further that "sordid games" is a willful mistranslation, and indeed the original Ullumaic is closer to "addiction to risk." Artus published his suggestions for a gentler, more loving Ninety Rules in a treatise t.i.tled When Rin Sees Us, Does He Smile? When Rin Sees Us, Does He Smile? Days after its publication the man was expelled from the Brotherhood of Serenity; his house was also mysteriously burned down, and his dog pelted with eggs by fellow monks who thought themselves un.o.bserved. -E Days after its publication the man was expelled from the Brotherhood of Serenity; his house was also mysteriously burned down, and his dog pelted with eggs by fellow monks who thought themselves un.o.bserved. -EDITOR.
Myett Alone
27 Ilbrin 941 226th day from Etherhorde
You"d probably even accuse her of the crime, although you did it yourself...you"d make love to her one day and destroy her the next.
She lay in a darkness so deep not even ixchel eyes could pierce it. Somewhere in the bilge well, under the ancient floorboards of the hold. On her back, floating in the filth. It had taken determination even for an ixchel to reach this place.
She is unstable. She took to following me...
The water, like the ship, was still: there were no tides or waves in the basin to make it slosh about. Yet it was rising quickly. When her ears slipped underwater she could actually hear the bubbling of displaced air. The water should have been even fouler, here in the rank bottom of the boat, the place all slop and slime washed down to. But so much of the water was new, fresh from the crystalline gulf and the cold, gushing river that flowed through Masalym.
Had she lost the wineskin? No, here it was about her neck. She turned her head to the side and drank an ample throatful. An entertainment. A prophet"s plaything An entertainment. A prophet"s plaything.
Already she could touch the boards above her, when she raised her hand. She imagined the wound in the hull. Poor Chathrand Chathrand, stabbed in the darkness by a fellow ship. Wound a body and it bleeds. Wound a ship and it turns to drink, and never stops.
Yes, she had followed him. But not from jealousy-not that alone. She had feared for him, feared the demons in his eyes, the agony his father dismissed as mere fatigue. She had been born to fight those demons, protect those eyes. She had been raised with a ravenous addiction, like the children born to deathsmokers, slaves to something heartless before they even learned to speak. All her life she had searched for it, her deathsmoke, the balm for her wound. In Auxlei City, Emledri, Sorrophran, Besq. And one day her grandfather had opened a service door in the a.s.sembly Hall and said, "Look: that is the young man sent from Etherhorde by his father, seeking crew for an a.s.sault on the Great Ship. We will dine with him tonight; so comb your hair, and be pleasant."
She had thought him strange and severe, bickering with his elders, stabbing at a hull diagram spread out on a table. "We enter here. We will hold this s.p.a.ce." Then the young lord had glanced up and noticed her, and studied her young body frankly, and she had made herself walk away from the door with her chin high and her face indifferent, as though he were the needy one, as though his gaze had not gone through her like a spear, and three weeks later she was his lover on the Chathrand Chathrand.
The water raised her to within a foot of the boards. She drank again, then slid the lanyard of the wineskin over her shoulder and pushed it away. No one had seen her. No one knew that she had not fled with him, had not been invited-had not even been dismissed. He had not thought it necessary to dismiss her, before abandoning the ship; one did not dismiss a toy.
But this toy had tracked him last night all the same.
She had tracked him to the secret place, the masterfully hidden door in the ceiling above the sc.r.a.p-metals storeroom, beyond which the House Treasures were stored in a strongbox bolted to the inner plank. There were ixchel guards within twenty feet, port and starboard, fore and aft, guarding every known approach to this area, but even they did not know precisely where the strongbox stood. And none of them knew about the door.
She had watched him open the box with the key around his neck, stared in amazement as he set aside the ancient Cyrak Tapestries from the main hall of Ixphir House, the last vials of the blane blane sleep-drug, the sacred swallow-bones with which the flying suits could be repaired. He kissed the urn that held the ashes of his great-grandmother Deijanka, the saint. Then he took out the waxed-cotton bundle that held the antidote pills and broke the seal. Myett held her breath as he extracted two of the big white pills, cradling them in his arm as he sealed the bundle anew. He returned everything but these two pills to the strongbox, locked it-and after a moment"s hesitation, slipped the key from around his neck and wedged it securely beneath the box. sleep-drug, the sacred swallow-bones with which the flying suits could be repaired. He kissed the urn that held the ashes of his great-grandmother Deijanka, the saint. Then he took out the waxed-cotton bundle that held the antidote pills and broke the seal. Myett held her breath as he extracted two of the big white pills, cradling them in his arm as he sealed the bundle anew. He returned everything but these two pills to the strongbox, locked it-and after a moment"s hesitation, slipped the key from around his neck and wedged it securely beneath the box.
That last act had mystified her. Better than anyone (she hoped hoped it was better than anyone) Myett knew how he refused to be parted from that key. Night after carnal night it had hung between them, crushed against her breast, striking her chin in time with his soft sounds of ecstasy. Only he and Talag and Ludunte, the clan-appointed Treasurer, had keys to the strongbox. Why in the Pits would Taliktrum leave his behind? it was better than anyone) Myett knew how he refused to be parted from that key. Night after carnal night it had hung between them, crushed against her breast, striking her chin in time with his soft sounds of ecstasy. Only he and Talag and Ludunte, the clan-appointed Treasurer, had keys to the strongbox. Why in the Pits would Taliktrum leave his behind?
She was b.u.mping the ceiling now. Her nose, her knees. The air that remained was close and stale.
And in her addict"s haze she had imagined that he was going to meet a lover. She had thought herself that important: that Lord Taliktrum would take pains to deceive her, to spare her feelings when he hungered for another"s touch. But all the same she could not stop following him.
She had tracked him all the way to the tool room. He had heard her only once, and not bothered to investigate, thinking he heard a mouse or beetle. To be so close to him, alone one final time, and be mistaken for vermin.
Then Fiffengurt had stomped and blundered into the room, and the horrible words had spilled out. Myett was never suitable Myett was never suitable. It had been tempting to kill the quartermaster, since she could not kill her lord. Something had to die, of course. After words like that something always did.
She could no longer float. She was treading water, pressing her lips above the surface, into the last inch of air. Was that the ship"s bell, was it morning? No matter. This was the place that morning never touched.
She makes a spectacle of her charms.
No one would find her here.
Farewell to a Dream
27 Ilbrin 941
The rain was gone and the sun had banished the morning chill when Prince Olik returned to the Masalym shipyard. His arrival, like his departure, was sudden and unceremonious: he fairly ran out along the walkway, fifty feet ahead of his attendants and guards. Even before he came abreast of the midship rail, he was calling loudly for permission to board. Captain Rose was duly notified, and without issuing a response of any kind he marched out to face the prince.
"You may not board," he said, "until you are prepared to inform me when my crew is to be fed, and whether or not the city means to help us save the ship."
The prince stopped short; evidently he had thought the asking of permission no more than a formal ritual. "I see-well, it doesn"t matter," he said distractedly. "I"ll just-walk."
He proceeded to do just that, marching back the way he came, waving his entourage into an about-face even as they closed on him. Dumbfounded, Rose and his crew watched him go. "Mad as a drunkard poet," was Mr. Fiffengurt"s verdict. Then the watchman relayed an observation from the quarterdeck: the water in the basin had once more started to rise.
It was true: some further sluice-gate must have been closed, for the river was filling the basin (and lifting the Chathrand Chathrand) at a rate of four inches a minute, as measured against the walkway.
Then the crisscrossed ropes that had kept the ship bobbing in place went slack, and sank under the water. From the north side of the basin, two small rowing craft approached the ship, dragging new cables. These were duly offered by the silent dlomu, who indicated with gestures that they should be attached to the port and starboard catheads. After some hesitation, Rose so ordered.
No sooner were the lines secured than they grew taut, lifting out of the water and turning Chathrand Chathrand gently in place. Slowly and smoothly, they guided her across the basin. gently in place. Slowly and smoothly, they guided her across the basin.
What followed was surprisingly simple. The towlines, it soon became clear, were guiding the Chathrand Chathrand toward one of the rectangular berths they had spotted the first night, along a part of the basin"s rim. These were long, squared-off tongues of water, lined with cargo cranes, loading platforms, watchtowers and buildings that might have been warehouses, or army barracks. The toward one of the rectangular berths they had spotted the first night, along a part of the basin"s rim. These were long, squared-off tongues of water, lined with cargo cranes, loading platforms, watchtowers and buildings that might have been warehouses, or army barracks. The Chathrand Chathrand was moving toward the largest of these berths. was moving toward the largest of these berths.
Like a great beast being coaxed into a stable, the ship glided into the enclosure. Now the crew could perceive a pair of enormous capstans revolving on the quay. Dozens of horses, short of stature but muscled like elephants, strained at their harnesses to turn the great devices, while small dogs moved among them with short, precise dashes and darts, yipping, coaxing. The dlomu themselves seemed barely involved. But at the very last, they stepped among the working animals and eased the ship into position with exceeding care. It was a good fit: when she came to rest it was plain that the Chathrand Chathrand was only some forty feet shorter than the berth itself. was only some forty feet shorter than the berth itself.
More ropes were tossed to the humans, fore and aft. When these were secured the dlomu nudged the ship"s bow back and forth, checking her alignment against grooves carved into the stone. At last the Chathrand Chathrand was truly still. Shouts of was truly still. Shouts of Squared off, let fall! Squared off, let fall! went up from the dlomu. A deep vibration troubled the basin"s surface. And then the water level began to drop once more. went up from the dlomu. A deep vibration troubled the basin"s surface. And then the water level began to drop once more.
It fell far more quickly than it had risen. In twenty minutes, the Chathrand Chathrand descended forty feet. In another twenty, they saw heavy structures of some kind beneath the water. "Merciful heavens, it"s a buildframe!" shouted Mr. Fegin, dangling from the futtock shrouds and suddenly boyish with delight. "Can"t ye see what they"re doing, Captain? They"re lowering us straight into dry dock, by d.a.m.n!" descended forty feet. In another twenty, they saw heavy structures of some kind beneath the water. "Merciful heavens, it"s a buildframe!" shouted Mr. Fegin, dangling from the futtock shrouds and suddenly boyish with delight. "Can"t ye see what they"re doing, Captain? They"re lowering us straight into dry dock, by d.a.m.n!"
The water continued to drop, and beneath them a great V-shaped armature of wood and steel came into view, and the Chathrand Chathrand settled into it with all the dignity of her six hundred years. The outer hull of rock maple groaned as the supporting water drained away from her sides; the long timbers of m"xingu and cloudcore oak strained and shuddered, but held. On the topdeck the crew gave a great, spontaneous cheer. They were on dry land, or over it. For some it had been more than two hundred days. settled into it with all the dignity of her six hundred years. The outer hull of rock maple groaned as the supporting water drained away from her sides; the long timbers of m"xingu and cloudcore oak strained and shuddered, but held. On the topdeck the crew gave a great, spontaneous cheer. They were on dry land, or over it. For some it had been more than two hundred days.
The pumps clattered on: no one would dream of stepping away from that lifesaving ch.o.r.e without permission. But already the water jetting from them was splashing down upon bare stone. Mr. Uskins sent word to the captain: barring outside interference, the ship could be pumped empty by midday.
There were staircases cut into the walls of the berth, and the dlomu were already descending, studying the hull, nodding and pointing. But they still said not a word to the humans. They"re under orders They"re under orders, thought Pazel. They must think we"re terribly dangerous. But we"re not, are we? They must think we"re terribly dangerous. But we"re not, are we?
In the darkness of the bilge well, Myett stood dripping and cold. The air reeked, and the wine was still very strong in her blood. She heard the far-off cheering and thought it cruel. Her death had been stolen. Her lord was gone and her love defiled, but she remained. Though she had come here to die an ugly death she stood unharmed, and the whole ship found this amusing. She was here to amuse. She always had been.
She crawled through the nameless, poisonous muck. Out through crevices, rat-gnawed boards, a long pile of stone ballast, alga-slick. When she reached the hold she heard her people"s voices in the distance. She moved away from them, silent, unsuspected.
It occurred to her dimly that no one would wonder at her absence. They would a.s.sume she had gone after him. Whenever she chose to let herself be seen, she could tell them that she had done just that. No dishonor, that way, no confinement, chained at wrist and ankle, like others who tried suicide and failed.
Unless he had denounced her.
Suddenly she could almost hear the letter: Nothing to me. Unsuitable from the start Nothing to me. Unsuitable from the start. Could he have gone so far? How should she know? It was useless to pretend that she could guess, now that she understood how little she had ever known him at all.
To be missing, but not missed...it was strangely appealing to be answerable to no one (that is the wine, the wine and the chill you took, do not trust it, do not follow your whim). She had no clan duties, for she had no clan. She had no promise to keep to herself. What self? Only her nose and lips had stayed dry. Everything else had been submerged in death.
The Dremland Spirit! That was what she had become. Myett smiled at the thought of the woman from the children"s tale (stop thinking, stop crying, go somewhere and sleep) whose people, husband included, had let her die out of cowardice. They had been gathering sh.e.l.lfish at low tide; the woman had fallen and broken her leg. And though they could hear her calling to them in the fog they told themselves that it was too late, the tide already turning, and they stole away and left her to drown.
But after midnight, back in the safety of the clan house, the woman"s cries had resumed, ethereal and cold. Here I am! Your clan-sister, your wife! I"ll not be abandoned again! Here I am! Your clan-sister, your wife! I"ll not be abandoned again!
Myett scaled the inner hull, past the catwalks, seeking the ixchel door that gave entrance to the mercy deck. Taliktrum had admitted to a fondness for ghost stories. He had trusted her that much (only briefly, don"t start lying now, only in those minutes while you waited for his body"s appet.i.te to build). They chill my blood They chill my blood, he"d whispered once, sharing a secret grin. Can you keep that to yourself, my little guardian? Can you keep that to yourself, my little guardian?
How did the story end? With the moan growing louder and louder, putting all the clan in danger. First the mice and burrowing creatures heard it, then surface animals, the prowling street dogs, the cats. Finally the giants themselves began to hear the ghost. What could be done? Myett"s grandfather would have known the right sort of penance, the act of contrition that a ghost would accept. But in the tale, the foolish clan heaped all the blame on the husband, and threw him into the sea at the place where his wife had perished. Monsters, murdering fools! Couldn"t they see that the woman had actually loved him? That she might love him still? They had earned their final punishment; they had begged for it.
The hidden door-latch opened to her fingers. She crawled into the mercy deck and wandered aft, leaving the secret door ajar. Past the empty rice barrels, the swept-out bread room, the brig where guards stood exclaiming to their prisoners: Them fish-eyes have shipwrights underneath us already! They"re going to fix this old boat after all! Them fish-eyes have shipwrights underneath us already! They"re going to fix this old boat after all!
The Mzithrini girl, Neda, looked out through her prison bars and saw her plainly. But that did not matter. All crawlies look the same in the shadows, don"t they? And besides, no one listens to the enemy.
Minutes later she was teasing open another door: above the sc.r.a.p-metals storeroom. The strongbox lay bolted in place, and wedged beneath it, Taliktrum"s key. She pried it out and laid it on her palm. How it had hurt, with all his weight pressing down. It had always been between them, a witness to his hunger, her addiction; a painful proof that she would never get closer than his skin.
They had driven him away. With their worship, their torturous need. They had exiled him to a city of dark giants, a city without Houses, without safety. He might already have met his death.
He"d been tender with her. More than once. But their worship had made his love impossible.
She opened the box, set the other treasures aside, took out all the remaining antidote. She would give the clan what it had earned. No one could stop her. No law applied to a woman who had ceased to exist.
The dlomu erected a stone oven on the quayside and kindled a fire within. Soon a sweet-smelling woodsmoke drifted over the Chathrand Chathrand. Then carts began to arrive, some drawn by stout little horses, others by dogs. Crowds of workers a.s.sembled around these carts, making it difficult to see what they contained. Then someone scurried up to the fighting top and gave a shout: "Food, food! And loads of it, by the Tree! Bless them fish-eyes, they"re going to feed us at last!"
It began with sausage, seared to bursting on the open flames, and ample servings of thick-skinned tubers. The hot food was placed in baskets like those of the first night, and the baskets were placed on hooks at the end of long poles and swung gingerly over the chasm to the Chathrand Chathrand"s quarterdeck. Even as they pa.s.sed out the food, the dlomu kept silent, although the humans and ixchel thanked them with great feeling. Still, as he watched the orderly business unfold, Pazel caught smiles, and even an occasional wink of a silver eye. They were covert, those looks. The dlomu were hiding their kindness, but less from the humans than from one another.
Pazel mentioned the looks to Neeps. "You see? These blokes aren"t unfriendly-at least no more than they were that first night. They"re afraid of us, sure. But this not-talking business: it"s coming from somewhere else. I"d bet my right foot they"ve been ordered ordered not to speak." not to speak."
"Maybe," said Neeps, watching the baskets collect on the quarterdeck. "Or maybe it"s spreading, that old woman"s idea about us bringing the end of the world. Maybe they even think we have a choice choice about it. "Treat us nice, see, or die in storms of fire."" about it. "Treat us nice, see, or die in storms of fire.""
After the sausage came pies-round, glistening, stuffed with meat and curious vegetables and aromatic herbs. Rose fed his men in reverse order of rank: tarboys and ordinary seamen first, then rated sailors, Turachs, petty officers, lieutenants. The senior officers waited stoically: they had known all along that they would be last. Rose was merely applying the Sailing Code, and most of them knew the wisdom of the old law. Nothing would break a crew"s loyalty faster than injustice with food.
But there was no shortage. Fresh bread followed, and olives cured in wine, and small cuts of fish wrapped in aromatic leaves, and a second round of pies stuffed with sweet orange tubers and sprinkled with a spice that tasted like nutmeg and licorice at once and yet was neither. There was no shortage. They ate and they ate. Mr. Bolutu sat with his back to a hatch comb, using both hands, and Pazel saw tears in his eyes.
Twenty years since he tasted his people"s food, he thought. And suddenly he wondered if he would ever again bite into an Ormali plum.
For a time the Chathrand Chathrand was a happy ship. The tarboys sang a tarboy shanty, but collapsed in disarray before the obscene punch line (even this was more than they had ever dared in Rose"s presence). The steerage pa.s.sengers wolfed down everything they were given. The door of the forecastle house was opened just long enough for five baskets to be slid within, and all who stood near heard Lady Oggosk"s delighted cackle. When the dlomu sent over boxes of sticky was a happy ship. The tarboys sang a tarboy shanty, but collapsed in disarray before the obscene punch line (even this was more than they had ever dared in Rose"s presence). The steerage pa.s.sengers wolfed down everything they were given. The door of the forecastle house was opened just long enough for five baskets to be slid within, and all who stood near heard Lady Oggosk"s delighted cackle. When the dlomu sent over boxes of sticky mul mul as a final offering, the sailors even managed to finish a few out of politeness, though no one had yet explained what they were. as a final offering, the sailors even managed to finish a few out of politeness, though no one had yet explained what they were.
Hercol brought Felthrup, Jorl and Suzyt to the topdeck, tied the dogs to a steel deadeye and brought them bread and fish. The dogs ate. Felthrup sat snug by Thasha"s knee, and ate. Deep in the ship, someone managed to wake the augrongs; their groans of monstrous satisfaction made the dlomu freeze, and the humans laugh.
Even the ixchel celebrated, in their way. They were in shock over Taliktrum"s disappearance (the rumors had escaped already, and sprouted hydra-heads: He"s a runaway, a coward He"s a runaway, a coward, some said, and others, He"s off talking with the lord of the dlomu. He and Talag planned it all from the start He"s off talking with the lord of the dlomu. He and Talag planned it all from the start) but they still had appet.i.tes. They ate well, but in shifts, guarding one another as ixchel always did at mealtime. Only Ensyl ate alone, not quite joining the humans but shunned by her people.
Pazel, Neeps and Marila sat in a crowd of tarboys near the spankermast. Marila made little chirping sounds of happiness as she chewed her fish. Neeps dipped morsels of bread in the juice from the meat pies, grinning as he popped each one into his mouth. Overhead, the dlomu watched in fascination, murmuring and occasionally pointing.
"Feeding time at the zoo," said Marila, glancing up at them.
Neeps frowned at her. "There"s a cheery thought. What put that into your head?"
"The way you eat," said Marila.
The tarboys laughed, and so did Pazel, for there was nothing mean or cutting in the other boys" voices: they appeared ready, for the moment anyway, to let Pazel and Neeps back into their fold. About blary time About blary time, he thought.
Then he saw Thasha a short distance away, eating olives from Fulbreech"s hand. She was turned away and did not see him-but Fulbreech did, and raised an eyebrow in his direction, a wry salute.
Rage went through Pazel, sudden and murderous. He turned away with the remains of his meal. And found himself facing Ignus Chadfallow.
"h.e.l.lo," said Pazel, not very warmly.
Captivity had aged the doctor. His craggy face was stained with soot that no amount of washing had yet been able to remove. His deep-set eyes shone with a new, more desperate fervor. The nose Pazel had broken on Bramian had healed with a subtle clockwise twist.
"I"ve been looking for you since yesterday, Pazel," he said at last. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
Pazel shrugged. "I"m here now," he said.