The Road Home

Back to the present now. Gui Xiao is told some hearsay.

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or re-posting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

Time pa.s.sed in a flash. The Spring Festival[1] would soon be upon them.

When Lu Yanchen gave her the photograph of the pa.s.sport to book the plane ticket, he had not provided many details and only stated that it was not convenient at the moment to get the boy"s hukou booklet and birth certificate. Therefore, Gui Xiao also only vaguely brushed over this part when she was talking to her younger cousin"s wife, the person who was helping her out with this. These last few years, this cousin"s wife had gotten quite a bit of charitable donations from Gui Xiao to provide financial aid to remote mountainous areas, and hence had a good relationship with many of the key schools that provided volunteer teachers and teaching support to poorer areas.

Helping Gui Xiao to get an admission spot to a school could be considered her repayment to Gui Xiao and was utterly a kind act that cost her nothing.

The only thing was that this gave Gui Xiao"s cousin a chance to laugh at Gui Xiao, saying she had gone to Inner Mongolia to relax and rest but had ended up bringing back a hukou-less kid. Not only had she helped the kid solve the problem of finding a place to go to school, but even the spot on the forms for the boy"s permanent address had been filled in with the address of her own home. He said with a grin, "Big Cuz, were it not for the fact that you"re a girl and don"t fit the criteria, I really would have thought this was your illegitimate son that you had left in Inner Mongolia."

Now that he mentioned it, it really did seem that way.

Her cousin"s wife had solved the matter of using proper channels to get the boy into a school as an out-of-region student, but she still stressed the point that the household registration certification was essential. It could be provided later, but they could not go without it.

Gui Xiao reasoned that since it could be provided later, it was not urgent at this moment, so they could let the Lunar New Year period pa.s.s first and then worry about it.

On the day that everything was taken care of, Gui Xiao was very happy and took the boy out to eat at the most expensive Western restaurant, even tricking him into taking a couple of sips of red wine. She, on the other hand, needed to drive and had not consumed a single drop of alcohol.

On the way back, the boy, whose face was so red it was like rouge had been applied to his cheeks, asked her, "Was it expensive to transfer schools?"

"It didn"t cost money." After paying the parking fee, Gui Xiao drove out of the parking garage and answered, "It was done through proper procedures."

The boy appeared as if a load had been lifted from his mind. "When I was coming here, my dad told me, if it was expensive, I just wouldn"t go to school. He was worried Uncle Lu would secretly pay for it."

The child prattled on, his many words coming rapidly. Everything he said was about Lu Yanchen, most of which he had heard from his father.

When their car drove onto the North Second Ring Road, Qin Xiaonan was narrating how Lu Yanchen had crossed districts to catch a person, leading a team in pursuit for two days and two nights and pa.s.sing over five snow-capped mountains. Even the paws of the military dogs had been covered in blood, but still he had kept chase… When they reached the West Second Ring Road, he was recounting how, at an alt.i.tude of more than five thousand metres, where life was basically forbidden, Lu Yanchen had forged his way out on foot for more than ten kilometres while carrying on his back a townsman who had pa.s.sed out from lack of oxygen… When their car was stuck in traffic on Chang"an Avenue, the topic transitioned over to how, because his mission was urgent, in circ.u.mstances with utterly no meteorological data or guidance from someone on the ground, when there lacked even a target to aim at, he had executed a parachute jump…

This was the life he had lived these many years.

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At night, after arriving back at home, she arduously carried the child in through the door and all the way through the living room. As she climbed the stairs, she was weighing the idea of whether she should install an elevator in the home. If in the future she got sick, or had some sort of rheumatoid disorder, or had a broken bone, or was drunk, etc. and was unable to climb back up to her room, it could be used in place of walking…

She put the child on the bed, wiped his hands and face clean, took off his jacket and pants, and stuffed him into the blankets.

After checking and finding that the heat that blew out out was too dry, she turned on the humidifier for the boy, too.

Qin Xiaonan was much more well-behaved when he was asleep than when he was awake. Like she was playing, she ran her finger back and forth over the boy"s eyelashes, which were so thick and voluminous they made a person jealous. She was vexing over the matter that she needed to leave Beijing the day after tomorrow. Lu Yanchen had not come back yet. Whose care, then, would be a better choice to entrust Qin Xiaonan into? Normally this would be less problematic, but with the Spring Festival right around the corner, no one"s home was suitable to leave him in.

Forget it. She would worry about it when she woke up tomorrow.

When she stepped out of Xiaonan"s room, she received a rather unexpected phone call. It was from Bai Tao.

Since that middle-school cla.s.smates" reunion approximately two years ago, they had not seen each other, nor had any personal contact. While pulling down with one hand the bed linens from the rack on which they had been hung to dry, she heard Bai Tao say a relatively familiar name: Zhao Minshan. She remembered this person. Back in middle school, this person had caused Hai Dong and Meng Xiaoshan to break up. It was that day… that day when she and Lu Chen had watched from the sidelines that scene that had been unsuitable for child audiences.

Bai Tao said, "Zhao Minshan divorced some years earlier, right? Well, I heard, Gui Xiao—it"s just something I heard—Chen Ge came back from Erenhot a couple of days ago, and the two of them are getting married."

She thought she was hearing things. "Who?"

"Chen Ge." Bai Tao explained, "I was thinking, the last time Chen Ge was back, you went looking for him, so I just wanted to mention this to you."

Her head feeling heavy, Gui Xiao went to open the window.

She could not seem to catch her breath. She wanted to let in some fresh air…

He was actually back. Without so much as mentioning anything to her, he had just come back.

Only a few days ago, she had even been like a fool and instructed him to remember to grab the boy"s hukou booklet while he was in Erenhot and bring it with him.

Bai Tao was like a bamboo tube from which beans were pouring out, spilling to her absolutely everything he had heard from all sorts of sources, and giving this perspective and that perspective of the situation. But as he talked on and on, there really was no other additional information. The gist was simply that he was back, he was getting married, and it was with Zhao Minshan.

Gui Xiao hastily hung up the call and then drifted around on the balcony, circling it three times. She wanted to close the window.

However, she did not get a good grip on it, and the gla.s.s hurtled along its slider track in the window frame, slamming shut with a thunk… and squashing two of her fingers. Tears spilled over from the pain. Fl.u.s.tered, she bit down on the spot that had gotten pinched, trying to use pain to stop pain. And so, she stood like this in the darkness for more than an hour, until it did not ache so much anymore. Eventually, swiping away the remnant of her tears, she went back to her bedroom.

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She brought her head down to look at the time—past three o"clock in the morning. She knew it was so late that she would not possibly get a response, but still, like some sort of unknown force was urging her, she sent a message over: I heard you"re back in Beijing?

Leaving her mobile phone on top of the television cabinet, she crawled onto the bed.

However, she had only just wrapped herself in her comforter when her mobile phone rang again. A splash of brilliant white light flashed on its otherwise black screen as it vibrated nonstop. It was an incoming call. The call got cut off, then another came in, and then that got cut off again…

Incessantly, she mentally coached herself: He had merely asked her to help him out with one thing. She had agreed to it and also done it already. Things should now come to an end.

After she had repeated this many times and was certain that she would not say anything immature, she finally answered the phone. "h.e.l.lo?"

The night was too still. She seemed able to hear the echo of her own voice.

On the other end of the line, there was the crisp ring of striking metal. All of a sudden, the thick, pungent odour of engine oil, that smell that did not easily dissipate away, seemed to a.s.sault her face and senses. It was as if the air had taken on colour—a mottled black colour.

"My apologies, Gui Xiao," Lu Yanchen said. "There was an urgent matter in my family these last few days, and that"s why I came back. I can"t really get away."

"It"s all right," she replied. "I need to leave Beijing the day after tomorrow, but it"s also the Spring Festival so it"s not really a good time to ask my friends to take care of a kid. I heard you were back, so it was just good timing for me to ask if you could come pick up the boy."

"The day after tomorrow?" His tone was uncertain.

"Or how about I drive him over? I"ll come your way tomorrow. Let"s just agree on that."

The person on the other end of the call was silent for a long moment before saying, "Then I"ll trouble you to do that."

"No problem. I happened to be able to help."

"Hanging up now," he stated.

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The call was disconnected.

Lu Yanchen set his mobile phone down on the concrete floor. Only he remained inside the garage"s service bay.

Earlier, he had dismantled a car that had been written off, until its parts were scattered everywhere. Now, as he lay beneath the car"s cha.s.sis, his field of view narrow, it truly felt as if time had turned back to more than ten years ago: he, lying on a foam mat that was covered in stains, could see her bending low at the waist to look at him, could see her slender, narrow, little face with the illumination of the work light behind it, as well as that hand that wanted, almost poutingly, to clasp his tightly—

Back then, she had placed all her feelings into a telephone cord and had been neither able to see nor touch. How could he not understand how sad that was, how hard that had been on her?

"… I"m saving up money! You just wait. Once I"m in uni, I can go see you. Let"s talk just one more minute, "kay?"

"… Have you missed me? Oh gosh, what are we going to do? We don"t even have any common things to talk about. Can"t you just say a few more words to me?"

"… I"m staying in res this semester. It"s so awful. Twelve people to one dorm room. There are beds even in the dorm"s hallways."

"… Oh no. My mom knows."

"… I"m at home for the next little while and can"t really take calls. Don"t call me. Wait for me to contact you."

"… Lu Chen."

"… Hanging up now."

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Lu Chen.

When she called his name, it was the most stirring sound in the world.

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Early in the morning, Gui Xiao packed Xiaonan"s suitcase for him.

When she brought him here, he had only had a travel duffel. After his arrival in Beijing, she had bought quite a few things for the boy. One, she had felt he was deserving of sympathy and compa.s.sion with the way he had had to care for himself since he was little; and two, she had bought some clothing for him based on how seven, eight-year old children dressed nowadays, so he could integrate into this environment as soon as possible and avoid being ostracized by people… Now that she suddenly needed to take the child to Lu Yanchen, she actually was worried. Was that rundown auto shop able to fit another person in it to live?

However, when Qin Xiaonan heard that Lu Yanchen had come back, he practically wished he could stick a pair of wings on and fly over to that little countryside town to see his Uncle Lu. Seeing the exhilaration that bubbled from the boy, Gui Xiao did not delay any longer, and taking him with her, she drove out of the urban district.

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By the time they got to the town, it was more than two hours later.

Two years ago, when she came back briefly for the reunion gathering, she had not had time to wander around the town. As she observed it now, she saw that it really had changed a lot. The three-level shopping mall had gone out of business. That grilled-lamb-skewers stall and the woman were not to be seen either. A string of small shops had opened where the billiards hall had once been.

The dirt road had also been replaced with an asphalt one. The only thing left unchanged was that long ca.n.a.l, whose source and ending points were not known, as well as the two rows of poplar trees that had grown for decades along the banks and for which the end could not be seen. When they were driving by, there were two or three groups of students romping and frolicking on the iced-over surface. A boy caught up to a girl, and sweeping her up off her feet, he tossed her over his shoulder, which brought about peals of laughter and a cry of surprise…

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Since arriving in Beijing, Qin Xiaonan had not visited the suburb districts, let alone gone to any countryside towns. Now, he spent the entire time leaning against the front pa.s.senger side, excitedly sizing up this little town where his Uncle Lu was born and raised.

Gui Xiao stepped on the brakes and brought the car to a stop in front of that large, metal door that was several metres tall.

This place that had repeatedly appeared in her memories over these many years was now right in front of her. With the front windshield separating her from it, Gui Xiao stared as if in a trance at that half-open metal door for quite a while, until beside her, Qin Xiaonan called out to her.

Her mind snapped back. "We"re there."

"We"re there?" Curiously, Qin Xiaonan looked outside. This was the auto repair shop that Auntie Gui Xiao had mentioned. In a very exaggerated tone, he declared, "Wow, it"s really big, much bigger than I had imagined."

It was very big. It seemed to have been expanded again.

Gui Xiao went to the security gatehouse and gave Lu Yanchen"s name. The uncle-age security guard looked intently at her and Qin Xiaonan with narrowed eyes, the word "curious" openly emblazoned across his face. "Just wait, eh, miss. I"ll give a call to inside."

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As she looked in through the somewhat dirty gla.s.s window, she saw him strolling out.

He wore a plain, white b.u.t.ton-up shirt and a black padded winter jacket, which, with its zipper undone, had evidently been arbitrarily grabbed and thrown on. This look was actually quite similar to what he had looked like when he was an adolescent, except there were no auto mechanic"s tools in his hands. Because he was trying to avoid the sand and dust that was being carried by the wind, he gazed at her through the window, his eyes squinted and stolid.

Gui Xiao got out of the car holding the suitcase, which he took from her. His freshly washed hands held the clean chill of having just been soaked in water, and now they contacted hers.

"This is newly bought?" He noticed that something was not right.

"Mm-hmm. There"s lots of stuff. Couldn"t fit them all, so I bought a new one."

He nodded. "I"ll give you the money for it later."

Gui Xiao had originally only wanted to bring the boy to the door and then leave. However, Lu Yanchen had picked up the suitcase and then simply walked away, while Qin Xiaonan, with natural motions, put his hand in hers and began leading her inside. So, after hesitating for a moment, she followed them in. This place had indeed been expanded and was two to three times larger than before. The concrete floor was neat and clean. The vehicles, which were either raised up or parked on the floor, were divided into two rows, and each one had mechanics busy at work beside it.

From the moment she stepped past the metal door, she had felt that this was a little surreal.

Qin Xiaonan trotted ahead a few steps to ask Lu Yanchen where the bathroom was. Pointing out the door to him, Lu Yanchen told him he needed to go into the little house on the right side of the courtyard. Qin Xiaonan really needed to go, so he spun around and ran off.

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She trailed after Lu Yanchen, walking to the very back of the service garage, where an aluminum door had been pushed open halfway.

They stepped through the door. Inside was an office as well as a row of rooms for people to rest. When the people inside saw the two of them through the window, most would follow up with a few extra glances. He did not really care too much about those looks and only led her to the back and pushed open a door. There were no superfluous furnishings in that tall, s.p.a.cious room, nor was there much to speak of for furniture. There were a bed and a desk that looked neither new nor old, but these were not the same ones from many years ago either. However, the general positions and arrangement had not changed and were as they had been in the past.

Setting the suitcase aside next to the thermos flask by the door, he instructed her, "The shop is cold. Don"t be in a hurry to take off your winter coat."

But after he finished saying this, he pulled off the thick, padded jacket that he had been wearing and tossed it onto the couch. While he was at it, he grabbed the half packet of cigarettes that had been left on the coffee table.

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"I"ll just tell you a couple of things and then I"m going to leave." Standing at the doorway, Gui Xiao offhandedly tugged the collar of her parka up so that it reached the tip of her nose, then informed him, "I"ve gotten all the stuff for Qin Xiaonan"s schooling done for you, but they"re still missing a hukou booklet. You need to bring the hukou booklet and finish up the rest of the paperwork and process."

He rolled up the long sleeves of his top until they were above his elbow, and then he tilted his head down, wanting to light up a smoke.

"I"ll be away on business for a long time. When the time comes, I"ll have my younger guy cousin bring you guys to do the registration and admission process for the school," she told him. "He"ll be officially enrolled in the school as an out-of-region student. You don"t need to pay any sort of extra money. The only thing is, that particular primary school doesn"t have residence, so you might need to find a way yourself to solve the problem of renting a home. After all, if he were to live here, it would be much too far from the school."

There was the light rasping sound of a lighter flint. A tiny flame leapt up from his fingertips.

"I bought some clothes for him. His old clothes, I picked out the good ones and left them, and then the ones that weren"t so good, I threw away. Kids nowadays generally are from families that have good financial means. He"ll be in your care from now on, and you"ll need to buy him new clothes every year, too. If he looks too out of place from his cla.s.smates, he"s going to be ostracized and picked on." Gui Xiao added, "You don"t need to buy a lot. He"ll have his school uniform normally. That"s about it… It was just these things. Do you have anything else you want to ask?"

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Right before the flame touched the end of the cigarette, in that moment when he was about to light up but still had not, Lu Yanchen unexpectedly released his finger. The flame extinguished.

He took the cigarette out from between his teeth and crumpled it until it snapped. Lifting his eyes, he looked directly at her. "Do you still love me?"

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[1] 春节 "chun jie." In China, the Lunar New Year period is also called the Spring Festival and lasts from the first to the fifteenth day of the new lunar year.

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or re-posting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

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