But the sight of blood on his rolled-up shirt sleeves produced in me that strange sickness I had inherited from my mother, who used to pay an old coloured market man to come up and wring the necks of her chickens; and when the question was put to me if I"d like to be trained up for a butcher, I drew back and stood ready for instant flight in case they should attempt" to decide my future by present force.
"I"d rather work for you," I said, looking straight at John Chitling, for it occurred to me that if I were made to murder anything I"d rather it would be oysters.
"Ha! ha! he knows by the look of you, you"re needin" one to make up the dozen," exclaimed the butcher.
"Well, I declar he does seem to have taken a regular fancy,"
acknowledged John, flattered by my decision. "I don"t want any real hands now, sonny, but if you"d like to tote the marketing around with Solomon, I reckon I can let you have a square meal or so along with the others."
"What"ll yo" old woman say to it, John?" enquired the poultryman, with a loud guffaw, "when you send her a new one of yo" own providin"?"
John Chitling was busily arranging a pile of turnips with what he doubtless thought was an artistic eye for colour, and the facetiousness of the poultryman reacted harmlessly from his thick head.
"You needn"t worry about my wife, for she ain"t worryin"," he rejoined, and the shine seemed to gather like moisture on his round red face under his shock of curling red hair. "She takes what comes an" leaves the Lord to do the tendin"."
At this a shout went up which I did not understand, until I came to know later that an impression existed in the neighbourhood that the Chitlings had left entirely too much of the bringing up of their eleven children in the hands of Providence, who in turn had left them quite as complacently to the care of the gutter.
"I don"t know but what too much trust in the Lord don"t work as badly as too little," observed the fish dealer, while John went on placidly arranging his turnips and carrots. "What appears to me to be best religion for a working-man is to hold a kind of middle strip between faith and downright disbelievin". Let yo" soul trust to the Lord"s lookin" arter you, but never let yo" hands get so much as an inklin"
that you"re a-trustin". Yes, the safest way is to believe in the Lord on Sunday, an" on Monday to go to work as if you wa"nt quite so sartain-sure."
A long finger of sunshine stretched from beyond the chimneys across the street, and pointed straight to the vegetables on John Chitling"s counter, until the onions glistened like silver b.a.l.l.s, and the turnips and carrots sent out flashes of dull red and bright orange.
"I"ll let you overhaul a barrel of apples, sonny," said the big man to me; "have you got a sharp eye for specks?"
When I replied that I thought I had, he pointed to a barrel from which the top had been recently knocked. "They"re to be sorted in piles, according to size," he explained, and added, "For such is the contrariness of human nature that there are some folks as can"t see the apple for the speck, an" others that would a long ways rather have the speck than the apple. I"ve one old gentleman for a customer who can"t enjoy eatin" a pippin unless he can find one with a spot that won"t keep till to-morrow."
Kneeling down on the bricks, as he directed, I sorted the yellow apples until, growing presently faint from hunger, I began to gaze longingly, I suppose, at the string of fish hanging above my head.
"Maybe you"d like to run across an" get a bite of somethin" befo" you go on," suggested John, reading my glances.
But I only shook my head, in spite of my gnawing stomach, and went on doggedly with my sorting, impelled by an inherent determination to do with the best of me whatever I undertook to do at all. To the possession of this trait, I can see now in looking back, I have owed any success or achievement that has been mine--neither to brains nor to chance, but simply to that instinct to hold fast which was bred in my bone and structure. For the lack of this quality I have seen men with greater intellects, with far quicker wits than mine, go down in the struggle.
Brilliancy I have not, nor any particular outward advantage, except that of size and muscle; but when I was once in the race, I could never see to right or to left of me, only straight ahead to the goal.
Overhead the sun had risen slowly higher, until the open s.p.a.ces and the brick arches were flooded with light. If I had turned I should have seen the gay vegetable stalls blooming like garden beds down the dim length of the building. The voices of the market men floated toward me, now quarrelling, now laughing, now raised to shout at a careless negro or a prowling dog. I heard the sounds, and I smelt the strong smell of fish from the gleaming strings of perch and mackerel hanging across the way.
But through it all I did not look up and I did not turn. My first piece of work was done with the high determination to do it well, and it has been my conviction from that morning that if I had slighted that barrel of apples, I should have failed inevitably in my career.
CHAPTER VI
CONCERNING CARROTS
When I had finished my work, I rose from my knees and stood waiting for John Chitling"s directions.
"Run along to the next street," he said kindly, "an" you can tell my house, I reckon, by the number of children in the gutter. It"s the house with the most children befo" it. You"ll find my wife cookin", likely enough, in the kitchen, an" all you"ve got to say is that I told you to tell her that you were hungry. She won"t ax you many questions,--that ain"t her way,--but she"ll jest set to work an" feed you."
Rea.s.sured by this description, I whistled to Samuel, and crossed the narrow street, crowded with farmers" wagons and empty wheelbarrows, to a row of dingy houses, with darkened bas.e.m.e.nts, which began at the corner.
By the number of ragged and unwashed children playing among the old tin cans in the gutter before the second doorway, I concluded that this was the home of John Chitling; and I was about to enter the close, dimly lighted pa.s.sage, when a chorus of piercing screams from the small Chitlings outside, brought before me a large, slovenly woman, with slipshod shoes, and a row of curl papers above her forehead. When she reached the doorway, a small crowd had already gathered upon the pavement, and I beheld a half-naked urchin of a year or thereabouts, dangled, head downwards, by the hand of a pa.s.sing milkman.
"The baby"s gone an" swallowed a cent, ma," shrieked a half-dozen treble voices.
"Well, the Lord be praised that it wa"nt a quarter!" exclaimed Mrs.
Chitling, with a cheerful piety, which impressed me hardly less than did the placid face with which she gazed upon the howling baby. "There, there, it ain"t near so bad as it might have been. Don"t scream so, Tommy, a cent won"t choke him an" a quarter might have."
"But it was _my cent_, an" I ain"t got a quarter!" roared Tommy, still unconsoled.
"Well, I"ll give you a quarter when my ship comes in," responded his mother, at which the grief of the small financier began gradually to subside.
"I had it right in my hand," he sniffled, with his knuckles at his eyes, "an" I jest put it into the baby"s mouth for keepin"."
By this time Mrs. Chitling had received the baby into her arms, and turning with an unruffled manner, she bore him into the house, where she stopped his mouth with a spoonful of blackberry jam. As she replaced the jar on the shelf she looked down, and for the first time became aware of my presence.
"He ain"t swallowed anything of yours, has he?" she enquired. "If he has you"ll have to put the complaint in writing because the neighbours are al"ays comin" to me for the things that are inside of him. I"ve never been able to shake anything out of him," she added placidly, "except one of Mrs. Haskin"s bugle beads."
She delivered this with such perfect amiability that I was emboldened to say in my politest manner, "If you please, ma"am, Mr. Chitling told me I was to say that he said that I was hungry."
"So the baby really ain"t took anything of yours?" she asked, relieved.
"Well, I al"ays said he didn"t do half the damage they accused him of."
As I possessed nothing except the clothes in which I stood, and even that elastic urchin could hardly have accommodated these, I hastened to a.s.sure her that I was the bearer of no complaint. This appeared to win her entirely, and her large motherly face beamed upon me beneath the aureole of curl papers that radiated from her forehead. With a single movement she cleared a s.p.a.ce on the disorderly kitchen table and slapped down a plate, with a piece missing, as if the baby had taken a bite out of it.
"To think of yo" goin" hungry at yo" age an" without a mother," she said, opening a safe, and whipping several slices of bacon and a couple of eggs into a skillet. "Why, it would make me turn in my grave if I thought of one of my eleven wantin" a bite of meat an" not havin" it."
As she switched about in her cheerful, slovenly way, I saw that her skirt had sagged at the back into what appeared to be an habitual gap, and from beneath it there showed a black calico petticoat of a dingy shade. But when a little later she sat me at the table, with Samuel"s breakfast on the floor beside me, I forgot her slatternly dress, her halo of curl papers, and her slipshod shoes, while I plied my fork and my fingers under the motherly effulgence of her smile. Tied into a high chair in one corner, the baby sat bolt upright, with his thumb in his mouth, deriving apparently the greatest enjoyment from watching my appet.i.te; and before I had finished, the ten cheerful children trooped in and gathered about me. "Give him another cake, ma!" "It"s my turn to help him next, ma!" "I"ll pour out his coffee for him!" "Oh, ma, let me feed the dog," rose in a jubilant chorus of shrieks.
"An" he ain"t got any mother!" roared Tommy suddenly, and burst into tears.
A sob lodged in my throat, but before the choking sound of it reached my ears, I felt myself enfolded in Mrs. Chitling"s embrace. As I looked up at her from this haven of refuge, it seemed to me that her curl papers were transfigured into a halo, and that her face shone with a heavenly beauty.
I was given a bed in the attic, with the six younger Chitlings, and two days later, when my father tracked me to my hiding-place, I hid under the dark staircase in the hall, and heard my protector deliver an eloquent invective on the subject of stepmothers. It was the one occasion in my long acquaintance with her when I saw her fairly roused out of her amiable inertia. Albemarle, the baby, had spilled bacon gravy over her dress that very morning, and I had heard her console him immediately with the a.s.surance that there was "a plenty more in the dish." But possessed though she was with that peculiar insight which discerns in every misfortune a hidden blessing, in stepmothers, I found, and in stepmothers alone, she could discern nothing except sermons.
"To think of yo" havin" the brazen impudence to come here arter the harm you"ve done that po" defenceless darling boy," she said, with a n.o.ble dignity which obscured somehow her slovenly figure and her dirty kitchen. Peering out from under the staircase, I could see that my father stood quite humbly before her, twirling his hatbrim nervously in his hands.
"I ax you to believe, mum, what is the gospel truth," he replied, "that I wa"nt meanin" any harm to Benjy."
"Not meanin" any harm an" you brought him a stepmother befo" six months was up?" she cried. "Well, that ain"t _my_ way of lookin" at it, for I"ve a mother"s heart and it takes a mother"s heart to stand the tricks of children," she added, glancing down at the gravy stains on her bosom, "an" it ain"t to be supposed--is it?--that a stepmother should have a mother"s heart? It ain"t natur--is it?--I put it to you, that any man or woman should be born with a natchel taste for screamin" an" kickin" an"
bein" splashed with gravy, an" the only thing that"s goin" to cultivate them tastes in anybody is bringin" ten or eleven of "em into the world.
Lord, suh, I wa"nt born with the love of dirt an" fussin" any mo" than you. It just comes along o" motherhood like so much else. Now it stands to reason that you ain"t goin" to enjoy the trouble a child makes unless that child is your own. Why, what did my baby do this mornin" when he was learnin" to walk, but catch holt of the dish an" bring all the gravy down over me. Is thar any livin" soul, I ax you plainly, expected to see the cuteness in a thing like that except a mother? An" what I say is that unless you can see the cuteness in a child instead of the badness, you ain"t got no business to bring "em up--no, not even if you are the President himself!--"
Just here I distinctly heard my father murmur in his humble voice something about having named an infant after the office and not the man.
But so brief was the pause in Mrs. Chitling"s flow of remonstrance that his interjection was overwhelmed almost before it was uttered. Her very slovenliness, expressing as it did what she had given up rather than what she was, served in a measure to increase the solemn majesty with which she spoke; and I gathered easily that my father"s small wits were vanquished by the first charge of her impa.s.sioned rhetoric.
"I thank you kindly, mum, it is all jest as you say," he replied, with the submissiveness of utter defeat, "but, you see, a man has got to give a thought to his washin". It stands to reason--don"t it?"--he concluded with a flash of direct inspiration, "that thar ain"t any way to get a woman to wash free for you except to marry her."
The logic of this appeared to impress even Mrs. Chitling, for she hesitated an instant before replying, and when she finally spoke, I thought her tone had lost something of its decision.
"An" to make it worse you took a yaller-headed one an" they"re the kind that gad," she retorted feebly.