"I don"t understand you," says Hedzoff, who was not a very clever man.
"You Gaby! he didn"t say WHICH Prince," says Gruffanuff.
"No; he didn"t say which, certainly," said Hedzoff.
"Well then, take Bulbo, and hang HIM!"
When Captain Hedzoff heard this, he began to dance about for joy.
"Obedience is a soldier"s honour," says he. "Prince Bulbo"s head will do capitally," and he went to arrest the Prince the very first thing next morning.
He knocked at the door. "Who"s there?" says Bulbo. "Captain Hedzoff?
Step in, pray, my good Captain; I"m delighted to see you; I have been expecting you."
"Have you?" says Hedzoff.
"Sleibootz, my Chamberlain, will act for me," says the Prince.
"I beg Your Royal Highness"s pardon, but you will have to act for yourself, and it"s a pity to wake Baron Sleibootz."
The Prince Bulbo still seemed to take the matter very coolly. "Of course, Captain," says he, "you are come about that affair with Prince Giglio?"
"Precisely," says Hedzoff, "that affair of Prince Giglio."
"Is it to be pistols, or swords, Captain?" asks Bulbo. "I"m a pretty good hand with both, and I"ll do for Prince Giglio as sure as my name is My Royal Highness Prince Bulbo."
"There"s some mistake, my Lord," says the Captain. "The business is done with AXES among us."
"Axes? That"s sharp work," says Bulbo. "Call my Chamberlain, he"ll be my second, and in ten minutes, I flatter myself, you"ll see Master Giglio"s head off his impertinent shoulders. I"m hungry for his blood Hoooo, aw!"
and he looked as savage as an ogre.
"I beg your pardon, sir, but by this warrant I am to take you prisoner, and hand you over to--to the executioner."
"Pooh, pooh, my good man!--Stop, I say,--ho!--hulloa!" was all that this luckless Prince was enabled to say, for Hedzoff"s guards seizing him, tied a handkerchief over his mouth and face, and carried him to the place of execution.
The King, who happened to be talking to Glumboso, saw him pa.s.s, and took a pinch of snuff and said, "So much for Giglio. Now let"s go to breakfast."
The Captain of the Guard handed over his prisoner to the Sheriff, with the fatal order,
"AT SIGHT CUT OFF THE BEARER"S HEAD. "VALOROSO XXIV."
"It"s a mistake," says Bulbo, who did not seem to understand the business in the least.
"Poo--poo--pooh," says the Sheriff. "Fetch Jack Ketch instantly. Jack Ketch!"
And poor Bulbo was led to the scaffold, where an executioner with a block and a tremendous axe was always ready in case he should be wanted.
But we must now revert to Giglio and Betsinda.
XI. WHAT GRUFFANUFF DID TO GIGLIO AND BETSINDA
Gruffanuff, who had seen what had happened with the King, and knew that Giglio must come to grief, got up very early the next morning, and went to devise some plans for rescuing her darling husband, as the silly old thing insisted on calling him. She found him walking up and down the garden, thinking of a rhyme for Betsinda (TINDER and WINDA were all he could find), and indeed having forgotten all about the past evening, except that Betsinda was the most lovely of beings.
"Well, dear Giglio," says Gruff.
"Well, dear Gruffy," says Giglio, only HE was quite satirical.
"I have been thinking, darling, what you must do in this sc.r.a.pe. You must fly the country for a while."
"What sc.r.a.pe?--fly the country? Never without her I love, Countess,"
says Giglio.
"No, she will accompany you, dear Prince," she says, in her most coaxing accents. "First, we must get the jewels belonging to our royal parents.
and those of her and his present Majesty. Here is the key, duck; they are all yours, you know, by right, for you are the rightful King of Paflagonia, and your wife will be the rightful Queen."
"Will she?" says Giglio.
"Yes; and having got the jewels, go to Glumboso"s apartment, where, under his bed, you will find sacks containing money to the amount of L2I7,000,000,987,439, 13S. 6 1/2d., all belonging to you, for he took it out of your royal father"s room on the day of his death. With this we will fly."
"WE will fly?" says Giglio.
"Yes, you and your bride--your affianced love--your Gruffy!" says the Countess, with a languishing leer.
"YOU my bride!" says Giglio. "You, you hideous old woman!"
"Oh, you--you wretch! didn"t you give me this paper promising marriage?"
cries Gruff.
"Get away, you old goose! I love Betsinda, and Betsinda only!" And in a fit of terror he ran from her as quickly as he could.
"He! he! he!" shrieks out Gruff; "a promise is a promise if there are laws in Paflagonia! And as for that monster, that wretch, that fiend, that ugly little vixen--as for that upstart, that ingrate, that beast, Betsinda, Master Giglio will have no little difficulty in discovering her whereabouts. He may look very long before finding HER, I warrant. He little knows that Miss Betsinda is--"
Is--what? Now, you shall hear. Poor Betsinda got up at five in winter"s morning to bring her cruel mistress her tea; and instead of finding her in a good humour, found Gruffy as cross as two sticks. The Countess boxed Betsinda"s ears half a dozen times whilst she was dressing; but as poor little Betsinda was used to this kind of treatment, she did not feel any special alarm. "And now," says she, "when Her Majesty rings her bell twice, I"ll trouble you, miss, to attend."
So when the Queen"s bell rang twice, Betsinda came to Her Majesty and made a pretty little curtsey. The Queen, the Princess, and Gruffanuff were all three in the room. As soon as they saw her they began,
"You wretch!" says the Queen.
"You little vulgar thing!" says the Princess.
"You beast!" says Gruffanuff.
"Get out of my sight!" says the Queen.
"Go away with you, do!" says the Princess.
"Quit the premises!" says Gruffanuff.