"You see, I don"t recollect these sort of things," said his lordship.
"Only when your lordship requires a fresh supply of money," said Mr Braham, smiling like a shark, and rubbing his hands together so that his rings rattled.
"There, don"t make a bother: sit down and have some breakfast, Braham,"
said the younger man. "These sort of things are so dooced unpleasant."
"Unpleasant? There"s nothing further from my thoughts, my lord, than making things unpleasant. I only came, after writing twice to remind your lordship that three bills, which fell due a month since, were all returned, and now lie in my hands, with interest and expenses attached.
Unpleasant? Why, I give you my word, that Moss, or Peterson, or Barcohen, would have had your lordship arrested and in Bream"s Buildings or Cursitor Street days ago. But I don"t do business like that. I only accommodate gentlemen of position, and then, in return, I expect to get the treatment one meets with from gentlemen of position."
"You Israelitish hound!" muttered his lordship, "I"d pitch you out of the window if I dared!"
"Did your lordship speak?" said the visitor, bending his head aside in an att.i.tude of attention.
"Speak? No! Only I"ve such a confounded headache this morning, I"m not fit for business matters. Richmond last night with some friends."
"Yes; I heard so," said the visitor, softly. "Mad"moiselle Duval was of the party, I think?"
"How the dooce did you know that?" exclaimed his lordship, uneasily.
"Oh! really I hardly know. It is one of the troubles of position, my lord, that every one hears of your movements."
"I"ll lay twenty to one that you"ve had some hook-beaked, unshaven dog watching me ever since I"ve been back!" exclaimed his lordship, impetuously.
"He, he, he!" laughed the Jew. "Your lordship may have a headache, but you are really most keen and business-like this morning."
His lordship growled.
"_You_ are," he said, after a pause.
"Exactly so," said the money-lender. "And now, perhaps, your lordship will give your attention to the matter in hand?"
"Well, I am attending!" grumbled his lordship.
"Then, perhaps, your lordship will give me a cheque on your banker for the total of the bills, interest and expenses. Let me see," continued the visitor, drawing a large bill-case from his pocket.
"There, keep that confounded thing out of my sight! My head aches quite badly enough without having that thrown in my teeth. Now, look here: I haven"t fifty pounds at the banker"s, and what there is I want for present expenses."
"Then what does your lordship propose doing?"
"Nothing at all," said his lordship sulkily.
"Does your lordship wish me to ask payment of the Earl, your father?"
"If you like," said his lordship, with a grin; "but while he has this fit of the gout on, I should not advise you to get within his reach. He holds to the fine old idea of his Norman ancestors, that knocking a Jew on the head was meritorious. But there! he won"t pay--he can"t, even if he felt ever so disposed. Now, look here, Braham: you must stick some more interest on, and renew the bills."
"Renew, my lord?" exclaimed the money-lender, expressing with eyebrows and hands the greatest of surprise. "Impossible! I"ve renewed till I"m as sick of it as of your broken faith."
"No, you"re not; so don"t be a humbug!" said the Viscount. "I"m not very sharp, I know; but I"m keen enough to see through that. You"ve milked me pretty well, and worked me nicely with all your professional cant. I don"t recollect how much I"ve had in cash--I did put it down on old envelopes, but they"re lost--but I know that those pictures and the wines were horrible stuff; and one way and another you"ve made those bills grow till now they amount to--"
"Four thou--"
"There--there, that"ll do; I can"t pay it, so what"s the good of bothering one about how much it is? I"ve got it down somewhere, I tell you, and perhaps I can find it when I want to know, and I don"t now.
Well, as I was going to say, you"ve made the bills grow to that size, now make them grow a little bigger."
His lordship yawned, stretched himself, and then poured some pale brandy into a coffee-cup, before filling it with the rich fluid in the biggin.
"Totally impossible, my lord," said the money-lender, rising. "I"m very sorry, my lord, but I must set the law to work. I have, as you well know, always been most desirous of aiding you during pressing necessities; and when unable to help you myself, I have always introduced you to some one who would. But, to speak plainly, this trip of yours to Italy, without a word to me first--"
"Why, confound it all! was I to come and ask you if I might go abroad?"
exclaimed his lordship, furiously.
"Oh, dear me, no! Of course not, my lord; but as I was saying, this trip to Italy looks so much like trying to bilk me, that I must, for my own sake--"
"And that of the gentleman in the City," sneered his lordship.
"No, my lord, I don"t do business with men in the City," said the Jew, in injured tones; "and for my own sake alone I must take strenuous measures for the recovery of the debt."
""Tisn"t a debt: it"s only a money-lending affair," growled his lordship.
"Well--well, we won"t argue upon that point, my lord. The Sheriff of Middles.e.x has his ideas upon these matters--ideas in which I have implicit confidence."
"Here, Braham; I say; come, no nonsense. Don"t be a fool, you know.
Don"t be hard on a fellow because he"s bilious and put out!" exclaimed his lordship, who, with the immediate prospect of a sponging-house before him, displayed an unwonted degree of perturbation. "But, I say, you can"t--you know you can"t do any thing yet;" and his lordship"s face brightened.
The Jew laughed.
"Your lordship forgets. Hyman has a little affair out against you, which will just work in well with mine. I shouldn"t be surprised if some one is already waiting for you!"
"Oh! come, I say--you know; I can"t stand this. You mustn"t do anything, Braham; and you must stop Hyman, because I"ve come home--come over--come on purpose--that is, I have something good on my book."
The money-lender watched him narrowly.
"Have indeed--matter of great importance--case of thousands, in fact-- clear me of all my little unpleasantries."
"Pooh!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the money-lender, dropping the servile now that his client began to implore. "Something on the Heath, or the Derby, or Oaks. I never knew one of your family yet with _nous_ enough to do anything but lose. Now, look here, my lord: are you prepared to pay me four thousand three hun--"
"No; not a penny!" exclaimed his lordship, earnestly; "but, look here, Braham," he cried, catching his visitor by the b.u.t.ton; "I"ve got something in hand--I have indeed: not betting. Something safe and paying; but you must give me time, and let me have a few hundreds to carry on with."
"Bah!" exclaimed the Jew fiercely, "I"m not going to be shilly-shallied with any more. Now, look here, my lord; I"ve given you time, and I"ve been patient. You"ve had doc.u.ments served upon you; but even to the last I wouldn"t be hard. I said to myself, I"ll give him every chance; and I"ve done it; but you only turn round upon me like all the rest, friend as I"ve been to you. And now it has come to this--I"ve asked you to pay me, and you won"t."
"I can"t, I tell you--"pon my word I can"t," exclaimed his lordship, following his visitor to the door, and pressing it back, as the other tried to get it open.
"Very well. Then I must have my pound of flesh!" said the Jew, with a bitter grin. "Only, you see, my lord, we are wiser than our old ancestor, Shylock: we do not bargain for exact weight, and, to avoid the punishment awarded to the shedder of blood, we take the whole body.
Your lordship weighs twelve stone, I should think?"
"Fourteen stone," said the Viscount, complacently.
"Plenty of weight, and to spare, then," said the Jew, laughing.