But he wanted some clue. He was, he told himself, wandering in the dark, for, musing upon imaginary wrong, he had grown into the belief that there was a plot against his happiness--that there were matters in progress that perhaps all but Mrs Norton and himself saw and mocked at.
He was too proud to ask confidence, while a hint from any one would have been repulsed with indignation. He knew that others remarked the change in his wife; frequently, in fact, he had grimly thanked friends who had congratulated him. But all his brooding resulted in nothing, and at the end of six months he was soured and angry to find that his labours had been in vain. At times, he almost resented the gentle advances of Marion, telling himself that they were not genuine, but used as a blind; and often and often Lady Gernon went in tears to the Hall to ask her cousin"s sympathy--an act which only widened the breach daily growing between husband and wife. And this, too, at a time when Lady Gernon"s heart had begun to leap with new hopes--hopes of that happiness which she had envied in others; when the world gave promise to her of a happier future, with fresh cares and interests; so that, even now that this hopeful state lent brightness to her eye, and colour to her cheek, she had new cause for sorrow in her husband"s coldness.
Sir Murray Gernon persuaded himself that his suspicions merely wanted confirmation, and, waiting that confirmation, he shut himself up, as it were, within his cold, proud hauteur, and waited--waited, for he would not stir an inch to find proof of his suspicions; it should come to him, and blankly stare him in the face before he would take step or speak word; and so the months glided on at the Castle, company coming and going, parties following one another rapidly, and Sir Murray Gernon a very pattern of courtly politeness to all. His greatest intimates congratulated him upon his domestic happiness, and he smiled his thanks, and then subsided again into his saturnine gloom, waiting--waiting for what he told himself would some day come.
There was to be a grand party at the Castle, at Sir Murray"s wish, on the anniversary of the marriage. The idea had proceeded from Mrs Elstree, during a visit to the Rectory, and Sir Murray had immediately taken it up, though, upon receiving a meaning glance from the Rector, who had seen a shadow cross his daughter"s brow, the proposer would gladly have recalled her words.
Great preparations were in progress; but after making his decree that there should be a grand affair, one that should do honour to his name, Sir Murray Gernon took no further interest in the matter.
He was seated, as was his wont, one morning in his library, turning over his letters, and thoughtfully brooding over his wrongs. It was cruel, he said, that he, rich, powerful, and well endowed by nature, should suffer in this way. But he could wait; and he turned to think of what he should do to drive away the ennui which oppressed him. Suddenly a thought came, and ringing sharply, the summons was answered by a footman.
"Send Gurdon here," said the baronet; and then, adopting his most magisterial air, he sat waiting the coming of the butler, upon whom the thunders of his wrath were about to descend.
Mr Gurdon, rather red of nose and pasty of face, soon appeared, wearing on the whole rather a limp expression. But John Gurdon had not improved in appearance; prosperity had not agreed with him. He said that it was his digestion; but Jane Barker--Mrs Barker now, my lady"s maid--shook her head at him and sighed, as she thought of the smart young fellow who used to come courting her at the Rectory, laughingly telling her that he"d caught the complaint of his master.
"I think, Gurdon," said Sir Murray, "that this is the third time that I have sent for you into the library."
"Yes--yes, Sir Murray," said Gurdon, with a cough behind his hand.
"It is the last time, then. But for your being an old servant, and son of an old tenant of my late father, I should discharge you at once!"
"Oh, for Heaven"s sake, don"t, Sir Murray," said the man piteously. "It shall never occur again; it shan"t, indeed!"
"You had been drinking again, last night!"
"Only the least drop, Sir Murray--the least drop. I was a little out of order yesterday."
"And you were not fit to come before her ladyship, in the drawing-room?"
"Perhaps not quite, Sir Murray--not quite; but--but--"
"And mind this is the last time. No servant of mine shall be a disgrace to my establishment."
"I humbly beg your pardon, Sir Murray, I do, indeed; and it shall never occur again, it shan"t, indeed. I know your ways, Sir Murray, and I should die, if you was to turn me off. Please look over it this once."
"I have looked over it, Gurdon, or I should have given you your wages when you entered the room. Now go and ask her ladyship if she can see me for a few minutes."
"Her ladyship isn"t in, Sir Murray."
"Not in?"
"No, Sir Murray; I wanted to see her about the blue-room chandelier, and went up, but she was not there; and Barker said, sir, she had just put on her things and gone out."
"Did she order the pony-carriage?"
"No, Sir Murray; her ladyship often goes out walking."
In spite of himself, Sir Murray Gernon started; for after months of waiting, it seemed to come to him with a sudden light flashing in upon his mind that he had found that which he had sought. He looked up the next moment in his servant"s face, trembling for his pride. Did that sallow, shivering creature who took his pay, and who had been trembling for fear of his frown, read his thoughts? Did he share his suspicions?
For a moment, as he caught his eye, Sir Murray felt as if he could strangle him. It seemed to him that this man would henceforth possess a hold upon him, and a.s.sert himself upon the strength of his knowledge.
The baronet could hardly arrest a groan; but he sat there, stern and immovable, fighting behind his mask of pride, to regain his composure before again speaking.
"Let me know when her ladyship comes in--at least," he said, correcting himself, "ask her if she will see me upon her return."
"Yes, Sir Murray."
"That will do. You can go," said the baronet, for the man still lingered as if about to speak; but the next moment he made a low bow and left the room.
As the door closed upon the servant, the strength which had been sustained by Sir Murray"s pride collapsed, and letting his head fall upon his hands, he groaned bitterly. The lines in his face grew more deeply marked; his lips became parched; and at last he rose from his seat to pace the room with hasty strides, as he turned over and over the thoughts that had flashed upon him.
Yes, she was often out; her old pa.s.sion for botany had returned, and, it had never struck him before, she did take long, very long walks. And now it was all plain enough: he was the laughing-stock even of his servants--he had read it in that man"s eye. True, he might dismiss him, but it was sure to be known throughout the house. But wait awhile; he would not be rash and hasty; he would think matters over.
He smiled as he took his seat once more, but the smile faded into a look of the most bitter misery, and, as he sat there hour after hour awaiting Lady Gernon"s return, years seemed to have pa.s.sed over his head, and not without leaving their marks.
Book 1, Chapter XIV.
MAN AND MAID.
"Curse him!" muttered Gurdon, as he left the room; "a purse-proud, haughty brute! looks upon a servant as if he were a dog. I know him, though--read him like a book--turn him inside out like a glove. Waited on him, served him as I have all these years, and yet, because a man can"t help giving way just a trifle to his weakness, he"s to be threatened always with the sack. He won"t send me away, though, not he--he knows better. Read him like a book I can, and he knows it too.
Pride must have a fall, and he"s full of it--running over with it. Just as if one man wasn"t as good as another. Discharge me, will he?
Perhaps I"ll discharge myself before he has the chance. Sitting and sulking there in his old library, day after day. I haven"t forgotten the old affair. I ain"t blind, and I"ll tell him so as soon as I look at him. Here, hi! Jane!"
Mr Gurdon"s legs had conveyed him, as he went on muttering, as far as the housekeeper"s room, when, seeing the flutter of a garment just turning a corner at the end of the pa.s.sage, he called out, and Jane Barker, rather red of eye, turned round and confronted him.
"Here, come in here, Jenny, I want to talk to you," he said, catching her by the hand, when, without a word, she followed him into the housekeeper"s room, and he closed the door.
"I knew he hadn"t," said Jane, who had been watching him from a distance, and had seen him enter and leave the library, "you wouldn"t have looked cross like that, John, if he had."
"He don"t dare!" said Gurdon, insolently. "It"s all smoke, and he knows now that I"m not blind. Discharge me, indeed! I"ll discharge myself, and have something for holding my tongue into the bargain! Don"t tell me: I can read him like a book, and his pride will humble itself before me like a schoolboy"s. Now, look here, Jenny: there"s been enough nonsense now. We"ve been courting years enough, and you"ve saved up a bit of money. Let"s go at once. I"ve saved nothing; but I"ve had my eyes open, and if I don"t leave the Castle a hundred pounds in pocket it"s a strange thing to me. I"m sick of it, I am; and I know of a decent public-house to let over at Blankesley, where the iron-pits are.
There"ll be no end of trade to it, so let"s get married and take it.
Now, what do you say?"
"Say?" exclaimed Jane Barker, whose face had been working, while her lips were nipped together, and her arms crossed over her breast, as if to keep down her emotion--"say? Why, that sooner than marry you, and have my little bit of money put in a public-house, for you to be pouring it down your throat all day, I"d go into the union! I"ll own that I did, and I have, loved you very, very much; but you"ve half broke my heart with seeing you, day after day, getting into such sotting ways.
You know you wouldn"t have been here now if it hadn"t been for me going down on my knees to my own dear, sweet lady, to ask her not to complain, when you"ve gone up to her, time after time, not fit to be seen, and smelling that horrid that tap-rooms was flower-gardens compared to you!
And now, after all her kindness and consideration, you talk like that!
I"m ashamed of you--I"m ashamed of you!"
And Jane burst into tears.
"Now, don"t be a fool, Jenny! What"s the good of being so squeamish, and talking such nonsense? We"ve both had enough of this place, and, without anything to trouble me, I should never touch a drop from month"s end to month"s end."
"No, John--no, John," she said, disengaging herself from the arm that he had put round her. "I"ll never marry a man who drinks. I"d give you my bit of money if I thought it would do you good; but you"ve drunk till it"s made you hard, and cruel, and suspicious, and wicked; and, though I"ve never said nothing, I"ve thought about all your wicked hints and suspicions. And as to being tied up to a man who was going to get money by telling lies of other people, I"d sooner go down and jump into the lake--that I would!"
""Tisn"t lies," said Gurdon, sulkily: "it"s truth, and you know it is."
"It is not, you bad, wicked fellow!" cried Jane, firing up, and stamping one foot upon the floor.
""Tis truth, and he knows it too, my fine, fierce madam!"