Her words were like a knife wound in his chest. While he searched for words, his eyes explored the steep brown hills that surrounded this secluded lake. Their tops were veiled in mist, like his past.
"I have never stopped thinking about marrying you. Sophia, you are the one person in the world who can make me happy." He reached over into her lap and took her hand. It felt cool and smooth.
"I could never, never make you happy," she said. "You know nothing about me."
Why was she always saying that? What was there to know about a woman who had lived a quiet life in Sicily, was widowed at an early age, and had come to live with her cardinal uncle?
"I know enough." His eyes felt on fire with longing. "And you know enough about me to see that the differences between our families do not matter. You know what I am. And we care more about each other than we do about your uncle opposing what my king wants."
"Oh, Simon!" Now there were tears running down her cheeks, but she did not try to pull her hand away. It pained him to see how this was hurting her, though he did not understand why it should.
She said, "You are telling tales to yourself if you imagine we could ever marry. You should not even think of it. Whatever your mother did, you are still the Count de Gobignon. You are almost a member of the French royal family."
"I am sure Cardinal Ugolini does not agree that your family is so obscure," Simon said. "It is time I talked to him about this. Then you will believe I mean it."
She struck her hands against his chest. "No, no! You must not do that.
Do you not realize how upset he is about this war, and how he feels toward the French? If he even knew that I had been alone with you today, he would force me to go back to Siracusa at once."
The feel of her hands on him, even to hit him in reproof, excited him.
"I would not let that happen," he said gravely.
He heard wild geese flying southward calling in the distance. Their cries made this place seem terribly lonely. Even though the little lake was only a short ride from Perugia, he had seen no sign of a human being anywhere.
The fire was burning low. He went to gather more wood.
Sophia frowned at him when he came back. "What did you mean, you would not allow my uncle to send me away?"
He leaned closer, seizing both of her hands in his. The pleasure of holding her hands rippled through him like a fluttering of angels"
wings. In his exalted state he was moved to utter extravagant words.
"I mean that if you were to leave Perugia, I would ride after you. I would fight any men your uncle had set to guard you. I would take you back to Gobignon with me, and there with you inside my castle I would defy the world."
"Oh, Simon!"
His words sounded foolish to him after he spoke them aloud. Yet men, he knew, had done such things--Lancelot--Tristan--if the old songs were to be believed. How better to prove his love than to commit crimes and risk disgrace for her?
She was crying again. She put her hands over her face. Why, he wondered, when he declared his love for her and told her he wanted to marry her, did it make her so unhappy? If she did not care for him, she should be indifferent or angry. Why, instead, did she cry so hard?
_It must be that she wants me but cannot believe it is possible._
The sight of her slender body shaking with sobs tore at his heart. He could not hold himself back; even if she fought him again, he must put his arms around her. He reached out to hold her. She fell against him.
She felt wonderful in his arms, solid enough to a.s.sure him that this was no dream, yet light enough to allow him to feel that he could do anything he wanted with her.
He remembered how angry she had been in the pine forest outside Orvieto when he had tried to make love to her. Though he might be eaten up with longing for her, he must just hold her and be glad she allowed him to do that.
She raised her tear-streaked face and kissed him lightly on the lips.
The soft pressure of her lips on his made his arms ache to hold her tighter. But he fought the feeling down.
"Why do you cry so hard when I speak to you of love?" he whispered.
"Because no one has ever loved me as you do," she said. She rested her head against his chest, and he stroked her hair. His eyes lingered over the curves of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He wanted to drop his hand from her hair to her breast. He felt the yearning to touch her breast as a pain in the palm of his hand.
"But you have been married," he said. "Did not your husband love you?"
He felt her head shaking. His heart was beating so hard he was sure she must hear it.
"We were little more than children."
"I am not a child, and neither are you. Believe me when I say I want to marry you."
"Oh, Simon, I do believe you!" she cried, and she broke out in a fresh storm of sobs.
Now he could not help himself; he had to hold her tight. She leaned against him, and they slipped back until they were both lying down, he on his back and she on top of him. His hand felt the small of her back.
How narrow her waist was!
He felt her move against him in a new way.
Her arms slid around him, her hands on his neck. Her lips were on his again, but this time pressing hard, ferocious, devouring. He felt her teeth and tongue, her breath hot in his mouth.
She was suddenly a different woman, not the shy cardinal"s niece. She was demanding, br.i.m.m.i.n.g over with a need to match his. Their hands hurried over each other"s bodies, touching through their clothes and then under their clothes. Simon had no time to be surprised at the change that had come over her.
She was undoing the laces down the front of her gown, then taking his hands and holding them against her naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He nearly fainted with the wonder of it.
And while he held her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, unable to take his hands away, her hands moved downward, fumbling at his clothing and at her own, her body sliding against him, her hand seizing his manhood, her legs opening to receive him.
He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, and she cried out with delight as he entered her. She pushed herself upward, pressing her hands against his shoulders, arching her back. His hands moved in gentle circles over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her hard nipples pressing into his palms. Her hips thrust against him furiously. He felt waves of pleasure rising to a crest in his loins. His eyes came open and he saw, under the olive skin of her face and neck and bosom, a deep crimson flush.
Her joyous scream echoed cross the lake.
"You shall come with me to Gobignon," he whispered in her ear. They lay wrapped in his cloak, legs entangled, clothing in disarray, the wind rattling the bare branches overhead. He heard his palfrey and her horse in the brush nearby stamping and snorting restlessly. The horses must be hungry.
"You shall marry me," he said.
She lay motionless, her head under his, resting on his arm. "I will not.
I cannot." Her tone was leaden, despairing.
After what had just happened, how could she still refuse him? Was she ashamed? Did she feel she had sinned?
"We are as good as married now."
"Oh, Simon." She sounded as if she were talking to a hopelessly innocent boy.
"There will be a new pope, and the alliance will be sealed, and my work will be done," he said. "I agreed to do this, and I will see it through.
But I do not have to be a part of the war between Count Charles and the king of Sicily, and neither do you. All I want is to go home and to take you with me. With you beside me, my home will be all of the world that I want."