SURFACE, solus Soh!--This is one bad effect of a good Character--it invites applications from the unfortunate and there needs no small degree of address to gain the reputation of Benevolence without incurring the expence.--The silver ore of pure Charity is an expensive article in the catalogue of a man"s good Qualities--whereas the sentimental French Plate I use instead of it makes just as good a shew--and pays no tax.
Enter ROWLEY
ROWLEY. Mr. Surface--your Servant: I was apprehensive of interrupting you, tho" my Business demands immediate attention-- as this Note will inform you----
SURFACE. Always Happy to see Mr. Rowley--how--Oliver--Surface!-- My Unkle arrived!
ROWLEY. He is indeed--we have just parted--quite well--after a speedy voyage--and impatient to embrace his worthy Nephew.
SURFACE. I am astonished!--William[!] stop Mr. Stanley, if He"s not gone----
ROWLEY. O--He"s out of reach--I believe.
SURFACE. Why didn"t you let me know this when you came in together.--
ROWLEY. I thought you had particular--Business--but must be gone to inform your Brother, and appoint him here to meet his Uncle.
He will be with you in a quarter of an hour----
SURFACE. So he says. Well--I am strangely overjoy"d at his coming-- never to be sure was anything so d.a.m.n"d unlucky!
ROWLEY. You will be delighted to see how well He looks.
SURFACE. O--I"m rejoiced to hear it--just at this time----
ROWLEY. I"ll tell him how impatiently you expect him----
SURFACE. Do--do--pray--give my best duty and affection--indeed, I cannot express the sensations I feel at the thought of seeing him!--certainly his coming just at this Time is the cruellest piece of ill Fortune---- [Exeunt.]
SCENE II.--At SIR PETER"S House
Enter MRS. CANDOUR and SERVANT
SERVANT. Indeed Ma"am, my Lady will see n.o.body at Present.
MRS. CANDOUR. Did you tell her it was her Friend Mrs. Candour----
SERVANT. Yes Ma"am but she begs you will excuse her----
MRS. CANDOUR. Do go again--I shall be glad to see her if it be only for a moment--for I am sure she must be in great Distress [exit MAID]
--Dear Heart--how provoking!--I"m not mistress of half the circ.u.mstances!--We shall have the whole affair in the newspapers with the Names of the Parties at length before I have dropt the story at a dozen houses.
Enter SIR BENJAMIN
Sir Benjamin you have heard, I suppose----
SIR BENJAMIN. Of Lady Teazle and Mr. Surface----
MRS. CANDOUR. And Sir Peter"s Discovery----
SIR BENJAMIN. O the strangest Piece of Business to be sure----
MRS. CANDOUR. Well I never was so surprised in my life!--I am so sorry for all Parties--indeed,
SIR BENJAMIN. Now I don"t Pity Sir Peter at all--he was so extravagant--partial to Mr. Surface----
MRS. CANDOUR. Mr. Surface!--why "twas with Charles Lady Teazle was detected.
SIR BENJAMIN. No such thing Mr. Surface is the gallant.
MRS. CANDOUR. No--no--Charles is the man--"twas Mr. Surface brought Sir Peter on purpose to discover them----
SIR BENJAMIN. I tell you I have it from one----
MRS. CANDOUR. And I have it from one----
SIR BENJAMIN. Who had it from one who had it----
MRS. CANDOUR. From one immediately--but here comes Lady Sneerwell-- perhaps she knows the whole affair.
Enter LADY SNEERWELL
LADY SNEERWELL. So--my dear Mrs. Candour Here"s a sad affair of our Friend Teazle----
MRS. CANDOUR. Aye my dear Friend, who could have thought it.
LADY SNEERWELL. Well there is no trusting to appearances[;] tho"-- indeed she was always too lively for me.
MRS. CANDOUR. To be sure, her manners were a little too--free-- but she was very young----
LADY SNEERWELL. And had indeed some good Qualities.
MRS. CANDOUR. So she had indeed--but have you heard the Particulars?
LADY SNEERWELL. No--but everybody says that Mr. Surface----
SIR BENJAMIN. Aye there I told you--Mr. Surface was the Man.
MRS. CANDOUR. No--no--indeed the a.s.signation was with Charles----
LADY SNEERWELL. With Charles!--You alarm me Mrs. Candour!
MRS. CANDOUR. Yes--yes He was the Lover--Mr. Surface--do him justice--was only the Informer.
SIR BENJAMIN. Well I"ll not dispute with you Mrs. Candour-- but be it which it may--I hope that Sir Peter"s wound will not----
MRS. CANDOUR. Sir Peter"s wound! O mercy! I didn"t hear a word of their Fighting----
LADY SNEERWELL. Nor I a syllable!