SURFACE. Come--come it is not too late yet--but hark! this is probably my Unkle Sir Oliver--retire to that Room--we"ll consult further when He"s gone.--
LADY SNEERWELL. Well but if HE should find you out to--
SURFACE. O I have no fear of that--Sir Peter will hold his tongue for his own credit sake--and you may depend on"t I shall soon Discover Sir Oliver"s weak side!--
LADY SNEERWELL. I have no diffidence of your abilities--only be constant to one roguery at a time-- [Exit.]
SURFACE. I will--I will--So "tis confounded hard after such bad Fortune, to be baited by one"s confederate in evil--well at all events my character is so much better than Charles"s, that I certainly--hey--what!--this is not Sir Oliver--but old Stanley again!--Plague on"t that He should return to teaze me just now-- I shall have Sir Oliver come and find him here--and----
Enter SIR OLIVER
Gad"s life, Mr. Stanley--why have you come back to plague me at this time? you must not stay now upon my word!
SIR OLIVER. Sir--I hear your Unkle Oliver is expected here-- and tho" He has been so penurious to you, I"ll try what He"ll do for me--
SURFACE. Sir! "tis impossible for you to stay now--so I must beg----come any other time and I promise you you shall be a.s.sisted.
SIR OLIVER. No--Sir Oliver and I must be acquainted--
SURFACE. Zounds Sir then [I] insist on your quitting the-- Room directly--
SIR OLIVER. Nay Sir----
SURFACE. Sir--I insist on"t--here William show this Gentleman out.
Since you compel me Sir--not one moment--this is such insolence.
[Going to push him out.]
Enter CHARLES
CHARLES. Heyday! what"s the matter now?--what the Devil have you got hold of my little Broker here! Zounds--Brother, don"t hurt little Premium. What"s the matter--my little Fellow?
SURFACE. So! He has been with you, too, has He--
CHARLES. To be sure He has! Why, "tis as honest a little---- But sure Joseph you have not been borrowing money too have you?
SURFACE. Borrowing--no!--But, Brother--you know sure we expect Sir Oliver every----
CHARLES. O Gad, that"s true--Noll mustn"t find the little Broker here to be sure--
SURFACE. Yet Mr. Stanley insists----
CHARLES. Stanley--why his name"s Premium--
SURFACE. No no Stanley.
CHARLES. No, no--Premium.
SURFACE. Well no matter which--but----
CHARLES. Aye aye Stanley or Premium, "tis the same thing as you say--for I suppose He goes by half a hundred Names, besides A. B"s at the Coffee-House. [Knock.]
SURFACE. "Sdeath--here"s Sir Oliver at the Door----Now I beg-- Mr. Stanley----
CHARLES. Aye aye and I beg Mr. Premium----
SIR OLIVER. Gentlemen----
SURFACE. Sir, by Heaven you shall go--
CHARLES. Aye out with him certainly----
SIR OLIVER. This violence----
SURFACE. "Tis your own Fault.
CHARLES. Out with him to be sure.
[Both forcing SIR OLIVER out.]
Enter SIR PETER TEAZLE, LADY TEAZLE, MARIA, and ROWLEY
SIR PETER. My old Friend, Sir Oliver!--hey! what in the name of wonder!--Here are dutiful Nephews!--a.s.sault their Unkle at his first Visit!
LADY TEAZLE. Indeed Sir Oliver "twas well we came in to rescue you.
ROWLEY. Truly it was--for I perceive Sir Oliver the character of old Stanley was no Protection to you.
SIR OLIVER. Nor of Premium either--the necessities of the former could not extort a shilling from that benevolent Gentleman; and with the other I stood a chance of faring worse than my Ancestors, and being knocked down without being bid for.
SURFACE. Charles!
CHARLES. Joseph!
SURFACE. "Tis compleat!
CHARLES. Very!
SIR OLIVER. Sir Peter--my Friend and Rowley too--look on that elder Nephew of mine--You know what He has already received from my Bounty and you know also how gladly I would have look"d on half my Fortune as held in trust for him--judge then my Disappointment in discovering him to be dest.i.tute of Truth--Charity--and Grat.i.tude--
SIR PETER. Sir Oliver--I should be more surprized at this Declaration, if I had not myself found him to be selfish-- treacherous and Hypocritical.
LADY TEAZLE. And if the Gentleman pleads not guilty to these pray let him call ME to his Character.
SIR PETER. Then I believe we need add no more--if He knows himself He will consider it as the most perfect Punishment that He is known to the world--
CHARLES. If they talk this way to Honesty--what will they say to ME by and bye!
SIR OLIVER. As for that Prodigal--his Brother there----