The Scornful Lady

Chapter 10

Sir, this Lady is not to speak with you, she is more serious: you smell as if you were new calkt; go and be hansome, and then you may sit with her Servingmen.

_El. Lo_. What are you Sir?

_Wel_. Guess by my outside.

_Elder Lo_. Then I take you Sir, for some new silken thing wean"d from the Country, that shall (when you come to keep good company) be beaten into better manners. Pray good proud Gentlewoman, help me to your Mistress.

_Abig_. How many lives hast thou, that thou talk"st thus rudely?



_Elder Lo_. But one, one, I am neither Cat nor Woman.

_Wel_. And will that one life, Sir, maintain you ever in such bold sawciness?

_Elder Lo_. Yes, amongst a Nation of such men as you are, and be no worse for wearing, shall I speak with this Lady?

_Abig_. No by my troth shall you not.

_Elder Lo_. I must stay here then?

_Wel_. That you shall not neither.

_Elder Lo_. Good fine thing tell me why?

_Wel_. Good angry thing I"le tell you: This is no place for such companions, Such lousie Gentlemen shall find their business Better i"th" Suburbs, there your strong pitch perfume, Mingled with lees of Ale, shall reek in fashion: This is no Thames-street, Sir.

_Abig_. This Gentleman informs you truly: Prethee be satisfied, and seek the Suburbs, Good Captain, or what ever t.i.tle else, The Warlike Eele-boats have bestowed upon thee, Go and reform thy self, prethee be sweeter, And know my Lady speaks with no Swabbers.

_Elder Lo_. You cannot talk me out with your tradition Of wit you pick from Plays, go to, I have found ye: And for you, Sir, whose tender gentle blood Runs in your Nose, and makes you snuff at all, But three pil"d people, I do let you know, He that begot your worships Sattin-sute, Can make no men Sir: I will see this Lady, And with the reverence of your silkenship, In these old Ornaments.

_Wel_. You will not sure?

_Elder Lo_. Sure Sir I shall.

_Abig_. You would be beaten out?

_Elder Lo_. Indeed I would not, or if I would be beaten, Pray who shall beat me? this good Gentleman Looks as if he were o"th" peace.

_Wel_. Sir you shall see that: will you get you out?

_Elder Lo_. Yes, that, that shall correct your boys tongue.

Dare you fight, I will stay here still. [_They draw._

_Abig_. O their things are out, help, help for G.o.ds sake, Madam; Jesus they foin at one another.

_Enter_ Lady.

Madam, why, who is within there?

_Lady_. Who breeds this rudeness?

_Wel._ This uncivil fellow; He saies he comes from Sea, where I believe, H"as purg"d away his manners.

_Lady._ Why what of him?

_Wel._ Why he will rudely without once G.o.d bless you, Press to your privacies, and no denial Must stand betwixt your person and his business; I let go his ill Language.

_Lady._ Sir, have you business with me?

_Elder Lo._ Madam some I have, But not so serious to p.a.w.n my life for"t: If you keep this quarter, and maintain about you Such Knights o"th" _Sun_ as this is, to defie Men of imployment to ye, you may live, But in what fame?

_Lady._ Pray stay Sir, who has wrong"d you?

_Elder Lo._ Wrong me he cannot, though uncivilly He flung his wild words at me: but to you I think he did no honour, to deny The hast I come withal, a pa.s.sage to you, Though I seem course.

_Lady._ Excuse me gentle Sir, "twas from my knowledge, And shall have no protection. And to you Sir, You have shew"d more heat than wit, and from your self Have borrowed power, I never gave you here, To do these vile unmanly things: my house Is no blind street to swagger in; and my favours Not doting yet on your unknown deserts So far, that I should make you Master of my business; My credit yet stands fairer with the people Than to be tried with swords; and they that come To do me service, must not think to win me With hazard of a murther; if your love Consist in fury, carry it to the Camp: And there in honour of some common Mistress, Shorten your youth, I pray be better temper"d: And give me leave a while Sir.

_Wel._ You must have it. [_Exit_ Welford.

_Lady._ Now Sir, your business?

_El. Lo._ First, I thank you for schooling this young fellow, Whom his own follies, which he"s p.r.o.ne enough Daily to fall into, if you but frown, Shall level him a way to his repentance: Next, I should rail at you, but you are a Woman, And anger"s lost upon you.

_Lady._ Why at me Sir?

I never did you wrong, for to my knowledge This is the first sight of you.

_Elder Lo._ You have done that, I must confess I have the least curse in Because the least acquaintance: But there be (If there be honour in the minds of men) Thousands when they shall know what I deliver, (As all good men must share in"t) will to shame Blast your black memory.

_Lady._ How is this good Sir?

_Elder Lo._ "Tis that, that if you have a soul will choak it: Y"ave kill"d a Gentleman.

_Lady._ I kill"d a Gentleman!

_Elder Lo._ You and your cruelty have kill"d him Woman, And such a man (let me be angry in"t) Whose least worth weighed above all womens vertues That are; I spare you all to come too: guess him now?

_Lady._ I am so innocent I cannot Sir.

_Elder Lo_. Repent you mean, you are a perfect Woman, And as the first was, made for mans undoing.

_Lady._ Sir, you have mist your way, I am not she.

_Elder Lo._ Would he had mist his way too, though he had Wandered farther than Women are ill spoken of, So he had mist this misery, you Lady.

_Lady._ How do you do, Sir?

_Elder Lo._ Well enough I hope.

While I can keep my self out from temptations.

_Lady._ Leap into this matter, whither would ye?

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