The Scornful Lady

Chapter 2

_Abig._ Sir, my Mistress commends her love to you in this token, and these words; it is a Jewell (she sayes) which as a favour from her she would request you to wear till your years travel be performed: which once expired, she will hastily expect your happy return.

_Elder Lo._ Return my service with such thanks, as she may imagine the heart of a suddenly over-joyed man would willingly utter, and you I hope I shall with slender arguments perswade to wear this Diamond, that when my Mistris shall through my long absence, and the approach of new Suitors, offer to forget me; you may cast your eye down to your finger, and remember and speak of me: She will hear thee better than those allied by birth to her; as we see many men much swayed by the Grooms of their Chambers, not that they have a greater part of their love or opinion on them, than on others, but for that they know their secrets.

_Abi._ O" my credit I swear, I think "twas made for me: Fear no other Suitors.

_Elder Love._ I shall not need to teach you how to discredit their beginning, you know how to take exception at their shirts at washing, or to make the maids swear they found plasters in their beds.

_Abi._ I know, I know, and do not you fear the Suitors.



_Elder Lo._ Farewell, be mindfull, and be happie; the night calls me.

[_Exeunt omnes praeter Younglove._

_Abi._ The G.o.ds of the Winds befriend you Sir; a constant and a liberal Lover thou art, more such G.o.d send us.

_Enter_ Welford.

_Wel._ Let"em not stand still, we have rid.

_Abi._ A suitor I know by his riding hard, I"le not be seen.

_Wel._ A prettie Hall this, no Servant in"t? I would look freshly.

_Abi._ You have delivered your errand to me then: there"s no danger in a hansome young fellow: I"le shew my self.

_Wel._ Lady, may it please you to bestow upon a stranger the ordinary grace of salutation: Are you the Lady of this house?

_Abi._ Sir, I am worthily proud to be a Servant of hers.

_Wel._ Lady, I should be as proud to be a Servant of yours, did not my so late acquaintance make me despair.

_Abi._ Sir, it is not so hard to atchieve, but nature may bring it about.

_Wel._ For these comfortable words, I remain your glad Debtor. Is your Lady at home?

_Abi._ She is no stragler Sir.

_Wel._ May her occasions admit me to speak with her?

_Abi._ If you come in the way of a Suitor, No.

_Wel._ I know your affable vertue will be moved to perswade her, that a Gentleman benighted and strayed, offers to be bound to her for a nights lodging.

_Abi._ I will commend this message to her; but if you aim at her body, you will be deluded: other women of the household of good carriage and government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will perhaps be found as faithfull and not so coy. [_Exit_ Younglove.

_Wel._ What a skin full of l.u.s.t is this? I thought I had come a wooing, and I am the courted partie. This is right Court fashion: Men, Women, and all woo, catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be plyant. But who"s here?

_Enter_ Sir Roger _the Curate._

_Roger._ Gad save you Sir. My Lady lets you know she desires to be acquainted with your name, before she confer with you?

_Wel._ Sir, my name calls me _Welford_.

_Roger._ Sir, you are a Gentleman of a good name. I"le try his wit.

_Wel._ I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two hundred years Sir.

_Roger._ I knew a worshipfull and a Religious Gentleman of your name in the Bishop.r.i.c.k of _Durham_. Call you him Cousen?

_Wel._ I am only allyed to his vertues Sir.

_Roger._ It is modestly said: I should carry the badge of your Christianity with me too.

_Wel._ What"s that, a Cross? there"s a tester.

_Roger._ I mean the name which your G.o.d-fathers and G.o.d-mothers gave you at the Font.

_Wel._ "Tis _Harry_: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name?

_Roger._ _Roger._

_Wel._ What room fill you in this house?

_Roger._ More rooms than one.

_Wel._ The more the merrier: but may my boldness know, why your Lady hath sent you to decypher my name?

_Roger._ Her own words were these: To know whether you were a formerly denyed Suitor, disguised in this message: for I can a.s.sure you she delights not in _Thalame_: _Hymen_ and she are at variance, I shall return with much hast. [_Exit_ Roger.

_Wel._ And much speed Sir, I hope: certainly I am arrived amongst a Nation of new found fools, on a Land where no Navigator has yet planted wit; if I had foreseen it, I would have laded my breeches with bells, knives, copper, and gla.s.ses, to trade with women for their virginities: yet I fear, I should have betrayed my self to a needless charge then: here"s the walking night-cap again.

_Enter_ Roger.

_Roger._ Sir, my Ladies pleasure is to see you: who hath commanded me to acknowledge her sorrow, that you must take the pains to come up for so bad entertainment.

_Wel._ I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknowledge you that brought it to be your Arts Master.

_Rog._ I am but a Batchelor of Art, Sir; and I have the mending of all under this roof, from my Lady on her down-bed, to the maid in the Pease-straw.

_Wel._ A Cobler, Sir?

_Roger._ No Sir, I inculcate Divine Service within these Walls.

_Wel._ But the Inhabitants of this house do often imploy you on errands without any scruple of Conscience.

_Rog._ Yes, I do take the air many mornings on foot, three or four miles for eggs: but why move you that?

_Wel._ To know whether it might become your function to bid my man to neglect his horse a little to attend on me.

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