The Scornful Lady

Chapter 4

_Sav_. "Tis even enough o" Conscience; sit down, and rest you, you are at the end of the world already. Would you had as good a Living Sir, as this fellow could lie you out of, he has a notable gift in"t.

_Young Lo_. This ministers the smoak, and this the Muses.

_Sav_. And you the Cloaths, and Meat, and Money, you have a goodly generation of "em, pray let them multiply, your Brother"s house is big enough, and to say truth, h"as too much Land, hang it durt.

_Young Lo_. Why now thou art a loving stinkard. Fire off thy Annotations and thy Rent-books, thou hast a weak brain _Savil_, and with the next long Bill thou wilt run mad. Gentlemen, you are once more welcome to three hundred pounds a year; we will be freely merry, shall we not?

_Capt_. Merry as mirth and wine, my lovely _Loveless_.



_Poet_. A serious look shall be a Jury to excommunicate any man from our company.

_Tra_. We will not talk wisely neither?

_Young Lo_. What think you Gentlemen by all this Revenue in Drink?

_Capt_. I am all for Drink.

_Tra_. I am dry till it be so.

_Poet_. He that will not cry Amen to this, let him live sober, seem wise, and dye o"th" _Coram_.

_Young Lo_. It shall be so, we"l have it all in Drink, let Meat and Lodging go, they are transitory, and shew men meerly mortal: then we"l have Wenches, every one his Wench, and every week a fresh one: we"l keep no powdered flesh: all these we have by warrant, under the t.i.tle of things necessary. Here upon this place I ground it, The obedience of my people, and all necessaries: your opinions Gentlemen?

_Capt_. "Tis plain and evident that he meant Wenches.

_Sav_. Good Sir let me expound it?

_Capt_. Here be as sound men, as your self Sir.

_Poet_. This do I hold to be the interpretation of it: In this word Necessary, is concluded all that be helps to Man; Woman was made the first, and therefore here the chiefest.

_Young Lo_. Believe me "tis a learned one; and by these words, The obedience of my people, you Steward being one, are bound to fetch us Wenches.

_Capt_. He is, he is.

_Young Lo_. Steward, attend us for instructions.

_Sav_. But will you keep no house Sir?

_Young Lo_. Nothing but drink Sir, three hundred pounds in drink.

_Sav_. O miserable house, and miserable I that live to see it! Good Sir keep some meat.

_Young Lo_. Get us good Wh.o.r.es, and for your part, I"le board you in an Alehouse, you shall have Cheese and Onions.

_Sav_. What shall become of me, no Chimney smoaking? Well Prodigal, your Brother will come home.

[_Exit_.

_Young Lo_. Come Lads, I"le warrant you for Wenches, three hundred pounds in drink.

[_Exeunt omnes_.

_Actus Secundus_. _Scena Prima_.

_Enter Lady, _her Sister_ Martha, Welford, Younglove, _and others_.

_Lady_. Sir, now you see your bad lodging, I must bid you good night.

_Wel_. Lady if there be any want, "tis in want of you.

_Lady_. A little sleep will ease that complement. Once more good night.

_Wel_. Once more dear Lady, and then all sweet nights.

_Lady_. Dear Sir be short and sweet then.

_Wel_. Shall the morrow prove better to me, shall I hope my sute happier by this nights rest?

_Lady_. Is your sute so sickly that rest will help it? Pray ye let it rest then till I call for it. Sir as a stranger you have had all my welcome: but had I known your errand ere you came, your pa.s.sage had been straiter.

Sir, good night.

_Welford_. So fair, and cruel, dear unkind good night. [_Exit_ Lady.

Nay Sir, you shall stay with me, I"le press your zeal so far.

_Roger_. O Lord Sir.

_Wel_. Do you love _Tobacco_?

_Rog_. Surely I love it, but it loves not me; yet with your reverence I"le be bold.

_Wel_. Pray light it Sir. How do you like it?

_Rog_. I promise you it is notable stinging geer indeed. It is wet Sir, Lord how it brings down Rheum!

_Wel_. Handle it again Sir, you have a warm text of it.

_Rog_. Thanks ever promised for it. I promise you it is very powerful, and by a Trope, spiritual; for certainly it moves in sundry places.

_Wel_. I, it does so Sir, and me especially to ask Sir, why you wear a Night-cap.

_Rog_. a.s.suredly I will speak the truth unto you: you shall understand Sir, that my head is broken, and by whom; even by that visible beast the Butler.

_Wel_. The Butler? certainly he had all his drink about him when he did it. Strike one of your grave Ca.s.sock? The offence Sir?

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