Olive stared at her unblinkingly through the smoke from her cigarette.
"Amber found the birthday present Edward had given me. It was well hidden but she used to pry into everything." Her mouth twisted.
"I was always having to put things back that she"d taken. People thought I was the snooper." She encircled her wrist with finger and thumb.
"It was an ident.i.ty bracelet with a tiny silver-chair charm en it. He"d had the tag inscribed: U. R. N. A. R. N. LA. Do you get it? You are Narnia, Narnia being heaven."
She smiled self-consciously.
"I thought it was wonderful."
"He was very fond of you." It was a statement, not a question.
"I made him feel young again." Tears squeezed from between the bald lids.
"We really didn"t harm anyone, just conducted a quiet little affair now and then on Sundays which gave us both something to look forward to."
The tears flowed down her cheeks.
"I wish I hadn"t done it now but it was nice to feel special. I never had before and I was so jealous of Amber. She had a lot of boyfriends.
She used to take them upstairs. Mum was too frightened of her to say anything." She sobbed loudly.
"They always laughed at me. I hate being laughed at."
What a dreadful household it must have been, thought Roz, with each one desperately seeking love but never finding it.
Would they have recognised it, anyway, if they had? She waited until Olive had composed herself a little.
"Did your mother know it was Edward?"
"No. I told her it was someone at work. We were very careful. Edward was my father"s best friend. It would have devastated everyone if they"d known what we were doing." She fell silent.
"Well, of course, it did devastate them in the end."
"They found out."
The sad head nodded.
"Amber guessed the minute she found the bracelet. I should have known she would. Silver chair, Narnia. The bracelet had to be from Puddleglum." She sucked in a lungful of smoke.
Roz watched her for a moment.
"What did she do?" she asked when Olive didn"t go on.
"What she always did when she was angry. Started a fight.
She kept pulling my hair, I remember that. And screaming. Mum and Dad had to tear us apart. I ended up in a tug of war with my father gripping my wrists and tugging one way while Amber tugged my hair the other. All h.e.l.l broke loose then. She kept yelling that I was having an affair with Mr. Clarke." She stared wretchedly at the table.
"My mother looked as" if she was going to be sick n.o.body likes the idea of old men getting excited about young girls I used to see it in the eyes of the woman at the Belvedere." She turned the cigarette in her fingers.
"But now, you know, I think it was because Mum knew that Edward and my father were doing it as well. That"s what really made her sick. Makes me sick now."
"Why didn"t you deny it?"
Olive puffed unhappily on her cigarette.
"There was no point.
She knew Amber was telling the truth. I suppose it"s a kind of instinctive thing. You learn a fact and lots of other little bits and pieces, which didn"t make sense at the time, suddenly slot into place.
Anyway, all three of them started screeching at me then, my mother in shock, my father in fury." She shrugged.
"I"d never seen Dad so angry. Mum let out about the abortion and he kept slapping my face and calling me a s.l.u.t. And Amber kept screaming that he was jealous because he loved Edward, too, and it was so awful" her eyes welled *that I left." There was a rather comical expression on her face.
"And when I came back the next day there was blood everywhere and Mum and Amber were dead."
"You stayed out all night?"
Olive nodded.
"And most of the morning."
"But that"s good," said Roz leaning forward.
"We can prove that. Where did you go?"
"I walked to the beach." She stared at her hands.
"I was going to kill myself. I wish I had now. I just sat there all night and thought about it instead."
"Did anyone see you?"
"No. I didn"t want to be seen. When it got light I hid behind a dinghy every time I heard someone coming."
"What time did you get back?"
"About noon. I hadn"t had anything to eat and I was hungry."
"Did you speak to anyone?"
Olive sighed wearily.
"n.o.body saw me. If they had I wouldn"t be here."
"How did you get into the house? Did you have a key?"
"Yes."
"Why?" demanded Roz sharply.
"You said you left. I a.s.sumed you just walked out as you were."
Olive"s eyes widened.
"I knew you wouldn"t believe me," she howled.
"No one believes me when I tell the truth." She started to cry again.
"I do believe you," said Roz firmly.
"I just want to get it straight."
"I went to my room first and got my things. I only went out because they were all making so much noise." She screwed her face in distress.
"My father was weeping. It was horrible."
"OK. Go on. You"re back at the house."
"I let myself in and went down to the kitchen to get some food.
I stepped in all the blood before I even knew it was there." She looked at the photograph of her mother and the ready tears sprang into her eyes afresh.
"I really don"t like to think about it too much. It makes me sick when I think about it."
Her lower lip wobbled violently.
"OK," said Roz easily, *let"s concentrate on something else.
What made you stay? Why didn"t you run out into the road and call for help?"
Olive mopped at her eyes.
"I couldn"t move," she said simply.
"I wanted to, but I couldn"t. I just stood there thinking how ashamed my mother would be when people saw her without her clothes on." Her lip kept wobbling like some grotesque toddler"s.
"I felt so ill. I wanted to sit down but there wasn"t a chair." She held her hand to her mouth and swallowed convulsively.
"And then Mrs. Clarke started banging on the kitchen window. She kept screaming that G.o.d would never forgive my wickedness, and there was dribble coming out of her mouth." A shudder ran through the big shoulders.
"I knew I had to shut her up because she was making it all so much worse. So I picked up the rolling pin and ran across to the back door." She sighed.
"But I fell over and she wasn"t there any more anyway."
"Is that when you called the police?"
"No." The wet face worked horribly.
"I can"t remember it all now. I went mad for a bit because I had their blood all over me and I kept sc.r.a.ping my hands to clean them. But everything I touched was b.l.o.o.d.y." Her eyes widened at the memory.
"I"ve always been so clumsy and the floor was slippery. I kept stumbling over them and disturbing them and then I had to touch them to put them back again and there was more blood on me."
The sorrowful eyes flooded again.
"And I thought, this is all my fault. If I"d never been born this would never have happened. I sat down for a long time because I felt sick."
Roz looked at the bowed head in bewilderment.
"But why didn"t you tell the police all this?"
She raised drowned blue eyes to Roz"s.
"I was going to, but n.o.body would talk to me. They all thought I"d done it, you see.
And all the time I was thinking how it was all going to come out, about Edward and me, and Edward and my father, and the abortion, and Amber, and her baby, and I thought how much less embarra.s.sing it would be for everyone if I said Ididit."
Roz kept her voice deliberately steady.
"Who did you think had done it?"
Olive looked miserable.
"I didn"t think about that for ages."
She hunched her shoulders as if defending herself.
"And then I knew my father had done it and they"d find me guilty whatever happened because he was the only one who could save me." She plucked at her lips.
"And after that, it was quite a relief just to say what everyone wanted me to say. I didn"t want to go home, you see, not with Mum dead, and Edward next door and everyone knowing. I couldn"t possibly have gone home."
"How did you know your father had done it?"
A whimper of pure pain, like a wounded animal"s, crooned from Olive"s mouth.
"Because Mr. Crew was so beastly to me."
Sorrow poured in floods down her cheeks.
"He used to come to our house sometimes and he"d pat me on the shoulder and say: "How"s Olive?" But in the police station" she buried her face in her hands *he held a handkerchief to his mouth to stop himself being sick and stood on the other side of the room and said: "Don"t say anything to me or the police, or I won"t be able to help you." I knew then."
Roz frowned.
"How? I don"t understand."
"Because Dad was the only person who knew I wasn"t there, but he never said a word to Mr. Crew before, or to the police afterwards. Dad must have done it or he"d have tried to save me. He let me go to prison because he was a coward." She sobbed loudly.
"And then he died and left his money to Amber"s child when he could have left a letter, saying I was innocent."