"You"re a good mom," he said. In the privacy of the stacks, he put his arms around her and kissed her. "And a beautiful mom."
She wasn"t beautiful. She was a plain Jane, but she believed that he meant it, that he saw something in her another man might not see. He pressed gently against her, his erection connecting with her belly. It had been so long since her body had reacted to a man. So long! Lowering her hand between them, she let the back of her fingers brush over him. He sucked in his breath.
"Jeez, girl," he said. "You are brazen."
"I"m sorry."
"I"m not complaining." He laughed.
"I"m not usually...brazen," she said, then laughed herself. "I don"t even know what I am usually. It"s been so long since I liked anyone."
"My fault," he said. "Coming on to you in a bookstore. You know, usually I-this is going to sound bad, but I want to be straight with you. Usually, if a girl-a woman-wanted it and I liked her and found her attractive, I"d take her to bed right away. As soon as I could. But I don"t want that with you. I mean, I definitely want want you. I just don"t want to move too fast and spoil what could turn out to be a really good thing." you. I just don"t want to move too fast and spoil what could turn out to be a really good thing."
"Of course," she said, drawing away from him.
"So," he said, "show me what you found in the old psych book."
They sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, flipping through the pages of the musty old book.
Afterward, he gave her a tour of the inner workings of the Helms Theater, where she"d seen his play. He talked about wanting to teach drama to high-school kids. She told him how she planned to work for a while after graduating, then go back for her master"s in counseling. Soon, they knew nearly everything there was to know about their lives in the here and now. That was how she planned to keep it. She had no past. The here and now was where they would begin.
Chapter Twenty-Six.
When the school year ended, they fell into a pattern. Eve took a cla.s.s four mornings a week and worked at an adolescent halfway house on the weekends. Jack"s summer job with the Virginia Theater Company was primarily on the weekends as well, so they had only a few weekday evenings together, most of them spent with Cory in tow. Jack was an amazing man, willing to share the little bit of time he and Eve had together visiting amus.e.m.e.nt parks or roller-skating rinks or working on Cory"s bicycling skills. She"d gotten much braver on the bike, which gave Eve both hope and trepidation.
On the Fourth of July, Cory helped Marian prepare a picnic dinner, while Eve and Jack had some time alone. They spent a lazy afternoon in the bookstore, ending up back at the house Jack shared with two other guys, both of whom were out of town for the holiday. In the four months they"d known each other, this was the first time they"d been alone together in one of their houses. Eve had started taking the pill two months ago in preparation for this day when she would have him to herself, undisturbed. She"d fallen in love with him, although she had not yet told him that. She loved his energy and playfulness, his patience and generosity with Cory. Occasionally, though, she wondered if he had the ability to be serious about anything. That concern was what kept her from saying those solemn words, weighted with expectations, to him.
As soon as they walked into his house, he shut the door behind them and drew her into his arms. "Ah," he said, kissing her. "Alone at last. Would you like to see my etchings?"
"Yes," she said. "I"ve been waiting a long time to see your etchings."
"You go upstairs and I"ll meet you in a minute. Can I get you anything to drink?"
"No, thanks." Refreshments were the last thing on her mind. She was twenty-one and felt like a virgin. CeeCee had made love; Eve had not. CeeCee had been so stupid, so gullible, so naive. She"d needed Tim to guide her, to teach her. Eve did not.
Upstairs, she pulled the shade in his bedroom, and the room filled with a pale mellow light. She took off her clothes, folding them and setting them on his dresser. His double bed, which took up nearly all the s.p.a.ce in the room, was neatly made, and when she climbed between the sheets, she smelled the sunshine-and-soap scent of freshly laundered linen. He"d prepared for this, too, she though happily.
She stretched out beneath the covers, the touch of the sheets exciting against her bare skin. Folding her arms behind her head, she waited.
"I"m coming, don"t give up on me," he called. She heard his footsteps on the stairs and in a moment he appeared in the doorway. He grinned when he saw her.
"My woman"s hot to trot." He laughed. He had something in his hand which he set on the floor by his side of the bed.
He lay down next to her, rolling onto his side. "You look beautiful," he said, running his fingertips over her cheek. "There"s a stripe of sunlight on your hair and face."
She touched her cheek as though she might be able to feel the sunlight there, then smoothed her hand over his arm.
"You"re precious to me, do you know that?" he asked. He could could be serious. She was wrong to think otherwise. be serious. She was wrong to think otherwise.
"I feel the same way," she said. Her voice felt thick.
He bent over to kiss her and she pulled his T-shirt over his head as he drew away. He stood up and unbuckled his khakis and let them fall. He pulled off his shorts, and she rolled to the edge of the bed to touch his erection, to press it against her cheek. He groaned, then lay her back on the bed. The next thing she knew, she felt something cold on her neck and heard a hissing sound.
"What...?"
He licked her neck. "Mmm," he said.
She pulled back laughing, spotting the red-and-white can in his hand. "Whipped cream?" "Whipped cream?" Well, he could be serious for a few seconds, anyway. Well, he could be serious for a few seconds, anyway.
"Hold still." He drew the sheet from her breast. "Oh, stunning," he said. Then he slowly covered her nipples with whipped cream before lowering his mouth to them, and she knew their lovemaking would be long, pa.s.sionate-and very, very messy.
Chapter Twenty-Seven.
1982.
Eve sat on Cory"s bed and turned the last page of the book they were reading together. Cory already recognized many words. Puppy, for example. Elephant. Run. Boy and girl. And for some reason, asparagus.
Eve tucked the covers beneath Cory"s chin and leaned over to kiss her forehead. Her own mother used to read to her at night, then sit and talk with her about everything under the sun. She"d loved that tender time with her mother, and she loved recreating it with Cory.
She brushed a lock of red hair from Cory"s cheek and slipped it behind her ear. "Marian said you saw a dachshund at the park today," she said.
Cory nodded. "And I wasn"t afraid of it because it was little," she said.
She had had been afraid of it, Marian had told Eve, but she didn"t correct her. She"d let Cory have her fantasy of bravery. been afraid of it, Marian had told Eve, but she didn"t correct her. She"d let Cory have her fantasy of bravery.
"Mommy," Cory said suddenly, "is Marian my daddy?"
Eve had been waiting a long time for Cory to ask about her father, but she"d never expected the question to come in this form.
"No, honey," she said. "Daddies have to be men." She wondered if Cory was thinking about Lorraine, Bobbie and Shan. Clearly, there was no man in that triad, and she wasn"t sure how to explain those family dynamics. "Marian"s just a very special friend," she said. "She"s not related to us."
"Then is Jack my daddy?"
"No. Jack"s a very special friend, too."
She waited, and for a moment thought that was the end of it.
"What makes you ask about your daddy, honey?"
Cory pressed her lips together until they nearly disappeared. "Kelsey"s daddy brings her to the park every morning," she said, referring to the only man who took part in the morning get-together of moms-and-kids at the park. "And Hank has a daddy. And Calvin. I think everybody at the park has a daddy except me. I said I had one, too. I said Marian was my daddy, and Hank laughed at me."
Eve"s heart broke a little. She wished she could remember having this conversation with her own mother. How had her father"s absence been explained to her? She didn"t recall, but she did remember the pain of being fatherless when it seemed that all the other children had two parents active in their lives, even if they were not living together.
This would be the first outright lie she"d told her daughter.
"You had a daddy, Cory," she said. "But he died."
"Like Dino?" Cory asked, referring to a dog who used to play with the children-the other other children-at the park. children-at the park.
"Yes. Like Dino."
"My daddy"s in heaven?"
"Yes."
"Was he really sick like Dino?"
"No. He had an accident."
"Oh."
"I grew up without a daddy, too," she said. She wasn"t sure if this was too much information to give her, but it seemed important to say.
"Your daddy died, too?"
She could make it easy on herself and say yes, but she didn"t want to tell any more lies than she had to.
"He just wasn"t a very good daddy. I never even knew him."
"Will I ever get to meet my daddy?"
She didn"t get it. She was still a little mixed up about the concept of death.
"No, honey. I"m sorry. He can"t come back. Just like Dino can"t come back."
She saw the tears welling in her daughter"s eyes and felt her own eyes burn.
"Come here, Cory." She drew the covers back and pulled her daughter into her arms. Rocking her, she felt Cory sniffling against her chest, grieving for the father she could never know.
"I had a painful conversation with Cory tonight," she said to Jack when he phoned her that evening. "She suddenly realized she doesn"t have a daddy. I guess the other kids at the park talk about their fathers. She asked me if Marian was her daddy."
"Oh," Jack said. "Poor baby."
"Then she asked me if you were her daddy."
Jack was quiet. "What did you tell her?" he asked after a moment.
"I told her no, of course. I explained that her daddy died in an accident."
"Do you think she understood what that means?"
"I don"t know. She asked if he could come back. I think she finally got it, though. She cried, and so did I."
"I"m coming over," he said.
"Now?"
"I just want to hold you. I know this must have been really hard."
Her eyes burned again. "It"s late," she said, although she suddenly realized how much she needed him to be with her.
"I"ll be there in a few minutes," he said.
She hung up the phone, grateful that this compa.s.sionate man was a part of her life.
Sitting on the sofa with him later that night, she let him hold her. His arms had become her favorite place to be.
"Evie," he said after they"d sat in silence for a while.
"Hmm?"
"I"d wanted to do this in some well-planned-out, dramatic sort of way, but I don"t think I can wait."
"What are you talking about?"
"I want to be Cory"s daddy," he said. "And I want to be Eve"s husband." He leaned away to look into her eyes. "Will you marry me?"
A thousand responses ran through her mind. Are you sure you want to take on a woman with a little girl? Are you sure you want to take on a woman with a little girl? And, And, You don"t know the truth about me and you never can. You don"t know the truth about me and you never can. But she thought of all he"d come to mean to her. He was her dearest friend, her playmate, her lover-one who had taught her that she was, indeed, capable of having o.r.g.a.s.ms with him inside her. But she thought of all he"d come to mean to her. He was her dearest friend, her playmate, her lover-one who had taught her that she was, indeed, capable of having o.r.g.a.s.ms with him inside her.
She smiled, leaning forward to kiss him.
"Yes," she said. "Absolutely, yes."
Chapter Twenty-Eight.