"It was never a question of the carpet"s strength. It was a question of yours. Had you been able to focus your will on nothing else, you could have forced the carpet to break down any door. A Kala could accomplish such a task. But you are just a beginner."
"So this time I probably did need Lova"s help."
"The greatest help comes from inside. The djinn offer the opposite with their wishes. That is the trap in using them too often. They offer quick solutions when you need to learn to create your own miracles."
"But there"s only so much a person can do," I protested.
"A person is limited by his conception of himself, nothing more. If you really knew who you were, you could stop the sun from rising tomorrow."
"That"s hard to believe."
"That"s why the sun usually comes up each morning."
"Today, after I saw Amesh, I went through a period of doubt where I was scared to help him. I was ready to abandon him to his djinn."
"A person can only demonstrate their courage by overcoming their fears. Someone who is never afraid is either a Kala or a fool."
"These Kalas sound superhuman. Can I really become one?"
"It is the path you have chosen for yourself."
"When did I choose it?"
"Before you were born."
"Is there a connection between what happened to Amesh"s hand last summer and my finding the carpet this summer?"
"Several players in this drama overlap. There must be a connection."
"Did Amesh almost stumble on the carpet before?"
"He stumbled onto something. But it was your destiny to find the carpet."
"What did he stumble onto?"
"Mr. Demir will know."
"I"m going to see him soon." I paused. "Amesh was in so much pain today. I worry I won"t be able to save him. It was a struggle to get the truth out of him. Do you know if he has made three wishes or two?"
"A djinn cannot control a human unless he has delivered on the three wishes the human has made. So far, Darbar has been unable to deliver. Yet he keeps trying, and he is close to success."
"So Amesh still has free will?" I asked.
"He is driven by a desire for revenge. He is far from free."
"But Darbar tricked Amesh by giving him that useless hand."
"Amesh asked for his hand back. Darbar was required to give him that hand. Had the hand been destroyed, Darbar would have given him a new hand. But such was not the case."
"Sometimes I feel like you"re on the side of the djinn."
"Not true. But I understand them."
"Is Lova an ordinary djinn?"
"She was born into a powerful lineage, but is inexperienced when it comes to humans."
"somehow I can"t see her making me into a thrall."
"That"s a dangerous conceit. For all you know, she acts kind toward you so you will drop your guard." the carpet"s words chilled me. It was true; I had begun to act more careless around Lova. I shouldn"t have let her feed on the room-ser vice guy.
"Today, when I was attacked, someone in a van hit me with a bolt of green light. It drained my strength. I think the same person attacked Lova when she went to get the carpet. Do you know who it was?"
"What did Lova say?"
"Lova thought she might be a djinn inhabiting a woman"s body."
"Wouldn"t Lova know if it was a djinn?" the answer was such an obvious yes that I was annoyed I hadn"t realized it before. "Why would she try to mislead me about this being?"
"That"s a good question to ask yourself." I tried to get the carpet to say more on the topic, but it refused.
"I"m afraid I"m not using the full potential of the carpet.
When we were flying home from the island, I felt as if it had erected a shield to deflect the wind."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You wanted it so."
"I want to fly over this city unseen. Can the carpet become invisible?"
"That"s an advanced skill."
"But it can be done?"
"Yes."
"Can you teach me how to do it?"
"Keep experimenting. You will learn." I had more questions-i was never done asking my questions-but I sensed it was done with me. I felt the presence behind the carpet withdraw.
Chapter Seventeen.
It tok me a while to find a ley line that flew directly over the sheraton. But in the end I was able to land the carpet on the roof. The view from the twenty-story building was beautiful-brightly lit city on one side, dark ocean on the other. I almost left the carpet on the roof to give it extra time to charge beneath the stars but I was too paranoid to part from it. I arrived at the hotel lounge before mr. Demir and ordered a c.o.ke. While waiting for my drink, I called my dad and told him I would be staying with rini again. He didn"t mind. He seemed tired, anxious to go to bed.
it might have been the danger I had faced-and had yet to face-but I felt the sudden urge to call my mom. I owed her a call. When my c.o.ke came, I took a sip and then dialed my home number.
"Sara!" my mother squealed with delight. "I was just telling sally and Alice you"ve been avoiding me. How are you?"
"I"ve been busy, mom. I met a new friend, rini. You"d love her. So what"s new with you?" my question may have appeared harmless, but directed at my mother, it was dangerous. She could rattle on for hours about what she"d done-or failed to do-in the last week. It didn"t matter how inconsequential the act might have been. She told me about picking up milk at the 7-eleven late at night because she had forgotten to get it during the day. She remarked on how much more the milk cost there than at a regular supermarket. She complained how the guy at the cash register spoke poor en glish and did not deserve the job. She swore that he was an illegal alien. My mother disliked anything illegal or alien, and somehow, when she combined the two words, they ended up sounding atrocious, like something better not talked about. Except that it was okay for her to do so because she talked about every thing.
When I spoke to my mother, I did not need to respond; I just had to grunt occasionally. Twice since I had arrived in Istanbul, she had called and I had managed to go to the bathroom and return without her noticing.
I let my mother ramble for ten minutes when I suddenly thought to myself, This is ridiculous. T This is ridiculous. There was an excellent chance I might die tonight, and here I was wasting time having another fake conversation with my own mother, the person who had given birth to me, who had brought me into the world. Sitting up abruptly, I told her to stop. To just stop talking. She wanted to know what was wrong.
"It would take too long to explain," I said. "Just believe me when I say my world is falling apart. I don"t want to chitchat about nothing. If we"re going to talk, I want to have a real conversation, and if you can"t do that, I"m going to hang up."
"Oh, Sara, don"t be so dramatic. I"m sure whatever the problem is, it"s not that serious. Tell me the truth: it"s a boy you"ve met, right, not a girl."
"True. I"ve met a boy, too," I said.
"See, I knew it. And you just had your first fight and you think your whole world is falling apart."
"No. That could not be further from the truth."
"Then what happened with him?"
"He"s not important, not this second. I just don"t want to talk about errands or what Alice said about sally or why she"s a fool to listen to Alice."
"Sara! this isn"t like you. You"re being awfully rude."
"I should"ve been rude long ago if being rude is what it takes to get you to act real. For once, let"s talk about something important. Okay?"
"i asked if you wanted to talk about the boy." she added, "You"re not spending the night with him, are you?" I sighed. "No. And I don"t want to talk about him."
"At least tell me his name."
"Amesh."
"So he"s a turk?"
"Yeah. I"m in turkey, remember? the place is full of them."
"Oh dear," she muttered.
"Why did you marry Dad?" I asked.
"What kind of question is that?"
"An honest one. I mean, really, you two have nothing in common." I paused. I thought I heard her pouring herself a drink. She drank when she was ner vous. What the h.e.l.l, she drank every night. I continued. "Last week I asked him why he married you, and he said it was because he loved you."
"Good for him. That"s why I married him."
"I don"t believe either of you. Like I said, it"s hard to imagine two more different people. Dad"s a loner; he hardly speaks.
You have to be surrounded by friends 24/7. And you even talk in your sleep."
"Sara . . ."
"You can talk in a minute, mom. I have another question.
Have you ever been in love?"
"I told you, I loved your father."
"Then why did you two divorce?"
"He asked for one; I didn"t want it. You know that."
"i didn"t know that, but thank you for finally telling me.
You didn"t seem all that broken up when he left. It was like, after you went to the lawyer and Dad promised to take care of us financially, you didn"t care if he left or not."
"That"s not true!"
"Have you ever loved someone besides Dad?" she hesitated. "Are you asking because you love this boy?"
"He"s part of the reason, but he"s not the main reason. I know this is going to sound cliche, but it"s the truth: I want to know who you are so I can better understand who I am. Please answer my question."
"Yes." A very soft yes.
"Who was it?"
"I"d rather not say."
"You mean you"re too embarra.s.sed to say." my mother was a long time answering.
"It was complicated, Sara. You see, I met Harry first."
"Before or after you met Dad?" I had never heard of a Harry.
"Before. We dated a few times, but that was all it took from my side. I fell madly in love. And I knew he cared for me as well. Then I introduced him to tracy."
"Aunt tracy? Your sister?"
"Yes. The four of us went away for a weekend, to go skiing. Tracy had another boyfriend at the time. I can"t remember his name. But right from the start, I noticed something between her and Harry. He laughed at all her jokes. I felt sort of left out. He didn"t laugh at any of mine." it would have been cruel to interrupt and point out that she had never cracked a decent joke in her life.