After scoring over my calmness in this graphic way he nodded wisely. If I had seen the sight, he a.s.sured me, I would never forget it as long as I lived. The weather was too bad to give the corpse a proper sea burial.
So next day at dawn they took it up on the p.o.o.p, covering its face with a bit of bunting; he read a short prayer, and then, just as it was, in its oilskins and long boots, they launched it amongst those mountainous seas that seemed ready every moment to swallow up the ship herself and the terrified lives on board of her.
"That reefed foresail saved you," I threw in.
"Under G.o.d--it did," he exclaimed fervently. "It was by a special mercy, I firmly believe, that it stood some of those hurricane squalls."
"It was the setting of that sail which--" I began.
"G.o.d"s own hand in it," he interrupted me. "Nothing less could have done it. I don"t mind telling you that I hardly dared give the order.
It seemed impossible that we could touch anything without losing it, and then our last hope would have been gone."
The terror of that gale was on him yet. I let him go on for a bit, then said, casually--as if returning to a minor subject:
"You were very anxious to give up your mate to the sh.o.r.e people, I believe?"
He was. To the law. His obscure tenacity on that point had in it something incomprehensible and a little awful; something, as it were, mystical, quite apart from his anxiety that he should not be suspected of "countenancing any doings of that sort." Seven-and-thirty virtuous years at sea, of which over twenty of immaculate command, and the last fifteen in the Sephora, seemed to have laid him under some pitiless obligation.
"And you know," he went on, groping shame-facedly amongst his feelings, "I did not engage that young fellow. His people had some interest with my owners. I was in a way forced to take him on. He looked very smart, very gentlemanly, and all that. But do you know--I never liked him, somehow. I am a plain man. You see, he wasn"t exactly the sort for the chief mate of a ship like the Sephora."
I had become so connected in thoughts and impressions with the secret sharer of my cabin that I felt as if I, personally, were being given to understand that I, too, was not the sort that would have done for the chief mate of a ship like the Sephora. I had no doubt of it in my mind.
"Not at all the style of man. You understand," he insisted, superfluously, looking hard at me.
I smiled urbanely. He seemed at a loss for a while.
"I suppose I must report a suicide."
"Beg pardon?"
"Suicide! That"s what I"ll have to write to my owners directly I get in."
"Unless you manage to recover him before tomorrow," I a.s.sented, dispa.s.sionately.... "I mean, alive."
He mumbled something which I really did not catch, and I turned my ear to him in a puzzled manner. He fairly bawled:
"The land--I say, the mainland is at least seven miles off my anchorage."
"About that."
My lack of excitement, of curiosity, of surprise, of any sort of p.r.o.nounced interest, began to arouse his distrust. But except for the felicitous pretense of deafness I had not tried to pretend anything. I had felt utterly incapable of playing the part of ignorance properly, and therefore was afraid to try. It is also certain that he had brought some ready-made suspicions with him, and that he viewed my politeness as a strange and unnatural phenomenon. And yet how else could I have received him? Not heartily! That was impossible for psychological reasons, which I need not state here. My only object was to keep off his inquiries. Surlily? Yes, but surliness might have provoked a point-blank question. From its novelty to him and from its nature, punctilious courtesy was the manner best calculated to restrain the man. But there was the danger of his breaking through my defense bluntly. I could not, I think, have met him by a direct lie, also for psychological (not moral) reasons. If he had only known how afraid I was of his putting my feeling of ident.i.ty with the other to the test! But, strangely enough--(I thought of it only afterwards)--I believe that he was not a little disconcerted by the reverse side of that weird situation, by something in me that reminded him of the man he was seeking--suggested a mysterious similitude to the young fellow he had distrusted and disliked from the first.
However that might have been, the silence was not very prolonged. He took another oblique step.
"I reckon I had no more than a two-mile pull to your ship. Not a bit more."
"And quite enough, too, in this awful heat," I said.
Another pause full of mistrust followed. Necessity, they say, is mother of invention, but fear, too, is not barren of ingenious suggestions. And I was afraid he would ask me point-blank for news of my other self.
"Nice little saloon, isn"t it?" I remarked, as if noticing for the first time the way his eyes roamed from one closed door to the other. "And very well fitted out, too. Here, for instance," I continued, reaching over the back of my seat negligently and flinging the door open, "is my bathroom."
He made an eager movement, but hardly gave it a glance. I got up, shut the door of the bathroom, and invited him to have a look round, as if I were very proud of my accommodation. He had to rise and be shown round, but he went through the business without any raptures whatever.
"And now we"ll have a look at my stateroom," I declared, in a voice as loud as I dared to make it, crossing the cabin to the starboard side with purposely heavy steps.
He followed me in and gazed around. My intelligent double had vanished.
I played my part.
"Very convenient--isn"t it?"
"Very nice. Very comf..." He didn"t finish and went out brusquely as if to escape from some unrighteous wiles of mine. But it was not to be.
I had been too frightened not to feel vengeful; I felt I had him on the run, and I meant to keep him on the run. My polite insistence must have had something menacing in it, because he gave in suddenly. And I did not let him off a single item; mate"s room, pantry, storerooms, the very sail locker which was also under the p.o.o.p--he had to look into them all. When at last I showed him out on the quarter-deck he drew a long, spiritless sigh, and mumbled dismally that he must really be going back to his ship now. I desired my mate, who had joined us, to see to the captain"s boat.
The man of whiskers gave a blast on the whistle which he used to wear hanging round his neck, and yelled, "Sephora"s away!" My double down there in my cabin must have heard, and certainly could not feel more relieved than I. Four fellows came running out from somewhere forward and went over the side, while my own men, appearing on deck too, lined the rail. I escorted my visitor to the gangway ceremoniously, and nearly overdid it. He was a tenacious beast. On the very ladder he lingered, and in that unique, guiltily conscientious manner of sticking to the point:
"I say... you... you don"t think that--"
I covered his voice loudly:
"Certainly not.... I am delighted. Good-by."
I had an idea of what he meant to say, and just saved myself by the privilege of defective hearing. He was too shaken generally to insist, but my mate, close witness of that parting, looked mystified and his face took on a thoughtful cast. As I did not want to appear as if I wished to avoid all communication with my officers, he had the opportunity to address me.
"Seems a very nice man. His boat"s crew told our chaps a very extraordinary story, if what I am told by the steward is true. I suppose you had it from the captain, sir?"
"Yes. I had a story from the captain."
"A very horrible affair--isn"t it, sir?"
"It is."
"Beats all these tales we hear about murders in Yankee ships."
"I don"t think it beats them. I don"t think it resembles them in the least."
"Bless my soul--you don"t say so! But of course I"ve no acquaintance whatever with American ships, not I, so I couldn"t go against your knowledge. It"s horrible enough for me.... But the queerest part is that those fellows seemed to have some idea the man was hidden aboard here. They had really. Did you ever hear of such a thing?"
"Preposterous--isn"t it?"
We were walking to and fro athwart the quarter-deck. No one of the crew forward could be seen (the day was Sunday), and the mate pursued:
"There was some little dispute about it. Our chaps took offense. "As if we would harbor a thing like that," they said. "Wouldn"t you like to look for him in our coal-hole?" Quite a tiff. But they made it up in the end. I suppose he did drown himself. Don"t you, sir?"
"I don"t suppose anything."
"You have no doubt in the matter, sir?"
"None whatever."