The silence grew ominous. The fighting spirit rose in Arsdale at the suggestion.
"You would n"t leave Elaine?" he demanded again, turning towards the form on the bed which looked strangely huddled up.
"I must leave her with you," answered Donaldson unsteadily. The boy scarcely recognized the voice, but it roused him to a danger which he felt without understanding.
"Why, man dear," he exclaimed, "what would I count to Elaine with you gone? Don"t you know? Have n"t you seen?"
They were the identical words Donaldson had used in trying to open Arsdale"s eyes to another great truth. And Donaldson knew that if they cut half as deep into the boy as they now cut into him they had left their mark. He found no answer. He listened with his breath coming as heavily as the boy"s breath had come when they had stood before the open window.
Arsdale faltered for words.
"Why--why Elaine loves you!" he blurted out.
"Don"t!"
So, too, the boy had exclaimed.
"Don"t you know? I thought you knew everything, Donaldson! I don"t see how you help seeing that. But I suppose it"s because you "re so thoughtful of others that you can"t see your own joys. But it"s true, Donaldson. I don"t suppose I ought to tell you about it, but man, man, she loves you! Give me your hand, Donaldson."
He found it in the dark, hot and dry.
"I want to tell you how glad I am. I suppose I must be a sort of father to her now, and I tell you that I would n"t give her to another man in the world but you. You "re the only one worthy of her."
He pressed the big hand.
"You "re the one man who can make her happy," he ran on. "You can give her some of the things she "s been cheated out of. Why, when I was talking to her last night, her face looked like an angel"s as I spoke of you. It is you who makes it easier for her to forget all the past--even--even the blow. I knew what it was when I came home--that you "d done even that for me--though she couldn"t see it. You "ve blotted out of her mind every dark day in her life!"
"That is something, is n"t it?" asked Donaldson almost pleadingly.
"Something? Something? It"s everything. Don"t you see now that you can"t go away?"
"I see," he answered.
"Well, then, give me your hand again. Sort of trembly, eh? But I "ll bet you sleep better the rest of the night. And don"t you on your life let her know I told you. She "s proud as the devil. But she would have done the same for me. They say love is blind," he laughed excitedly, "but, Holy Smoke, this is the worst case of it I ever saw!"
Donaldson lay pa.s.sive.
"Now," concluded Arsdale, "I "ll go back and see if I can sleep. Good night."
Donaldson again lay flat on his back after Arsdale had gone. So he lay, not sleeping, merely enduring, until, almost imperceptibly at first, the dark about him began to dissolve. Then he rose, partly dressed, and sitting by the open window watched the East as the dawn stole in upon the sleeping city. It came to the attack upon the grim alleys, the shadows around buildings, the stealthy figures, like a royal host. A few gray outriders reconnoitred over the horizon line and sent scurrying to their hovels those who looked up at them from shifty eyes. Then came a vanguard in brighter colors with crimson penants who attacked the fields and broad thoroughfares; then the King"s Own in scarlet jackets and wide sweeping banners, bronze tinted, who charged the smaller streets and factory roofs, and finally the brave array of all the dazzling host itself, who hurled their golden, sun-tipped lances into every nook and cranny, awaking to life all save those whose souls were dark within.
In watching it Donaldson found the first relief in the long night. His own mind cleared with the dawn. The day broke so clean and fresh, so bathed in morning dew, that once again his mind, grown perhaps less active, clung in some last spasm to the present as when he had sat with Elaine at breakfast, part of the little Dutch picture. Without reasoning into the to-morrow, he felt as though this day belonged to him. As the sun rose higher and stronger, enveloping the world in its catholic rays, the night seemed only an evil dream. He was both stronger and weaker. He was swept on, unresisting, by the high flood of the new day. This world now before his eyes acknowledged nothing of his agony but came mother-like to ease his fretting. She would have nothing of the heavy tossings inspired by her sinister sister, the Night. She was all for clean glad spirits, all for new hopes. So he who had first frowned at it, who had then watched pa.s.sively, now rose to its call.
He was ent.i.tled to this day, sang the tempter sun,--one big day out of all his life. The crisis would be no more acute upon the morrow and he might be stronger to meet it. This day was his and hers, and even the boy"s. To accept it would be to shirk nothing; it would be only to postpone--to weave into the sombre grave vestments be was making for himself one golden thread. Arsdale"s talk had removed the last vestige of hope. The worst had happened. Surely one gay interlude could add no burden. A day was always a day, and joys once lived could never be lost. Always in her life and in his this would remain, and since he had shouldered the other days as they had come to him, it seemed no more than right that he should take this. Not to do so would be but sorry self-imposed martyrdom.
Arsdale came in, still in his bathrobe, with brisk step and his face a-beaming.
"Well," he demanded, "how do you feel now?"
"Better," answered Donaldson, unhesitatingly.
"Better! You ought to feel great! Look at the sun out there! Smell that air! Have you had your tub?"
"Not yet," smiled Donaldson.
Arsdale led the way to the shower, and a few minutes later Donaldson felt his skin tingle to new life beneath the cold spray.
CHAPTER XXI
_Facing the Sun_
When he came down-stairs he found her dressed in white and looking like a nun. Her hair was brushed back from her forehead and the silk-figured j.a.panese shawl was over her shoulders. He recalled the shawl and with it the picture she had made that first night.
At the door he called her name and she looked up quickly, swiftly scanning his face. He crossed to her side.
"You should n"t stay in here," he said. "Come outdoors a moment before breakfast. It"s bright and warm out there."
She arose, and they went out together to the lawn. Each blade of gra.s.s was wearing its morning jewels. The sun petted them and bestowed opals, amethysts, and rubies upon them. The hedge was as fresh as if newly created; the neighboring houses appeared as though a Dutch housewife had washed them down and sanded them; the sky was a perfect jewel cut by the Master hand. The peeping and chattering of the swallows was music, while a robin or two added a longer note to the sharp staccatos.
They stood in the deep porch looking out at it, while the sun showered them with warmth.
"You "ve seen Ben?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered, turning her face up to his with momentary brightness. "Yes. And he was like this out here! The change is wonderful! It is as though he had risen from the dead!"
Donaldson lifted his head toward the stark blue of the sky.
"The dead? There are no dead," he exclaimed pa.s.sionately. "Even those we bury are ever ready to open their silent lips to us if only we give them life again. We owe it to them to do that, through our own lives to continue as best we can their lives here on earth. But we can"t do that as long as we have them dead, can we? And that is true of dead hopes, of dead loves. We have to face the sun with all those things and through it breathe into them a new spirit. Do you see, Miss Arsdale?"
He did not look at her, but as her voice answered him it seemed to be stronger.
"I think--I think I do."
"Nothing can die, unless we let it die," he ran on, paving the way for what he realized she must in the end know. "Some of it can disappear from our sight. But not much. We can bury our dead, but we need n"t bury their glad smiles, we need n"t bury the feel of their hands or the brush of their lips, we need n"t bury their songs or the brave spirit of them. We can keep all that, the living part of them, so long as our own spirit lives. It is when that dies in us that we truly bury them.
And this is even truer of our loves--intangible spirit things as they are at best."
He did not wish that part of him to die utterly in her with his doomed frame.
"But--" she shivered, "all this talk of graves and the dead?"
"It is all of the sun and the living," he replied earnestly. "You must face the sun with me to-day. Will you?"
"Yes! Yes! But last night you made me afraid. Was it the dark,--did you get afraid of the dark? I know what that means."
"Perhaps," he answered gently. "But if so, it was because I was foolish enough to let it be dark. And you yourself must never do it again. If things get bad at night you must wait until morning and then come out here. So, if you remember what I have said, it will get light again. Will you promise to do that?"