Was that how he saw her? Like a streak of lightning across the sky? She knew if she asked him, it would sound as if she was flirting with him and she didn"t want to plant any ideas in Santiago"s head. She was definitely not interested in flirting with him. Maybe, at another time, in another place-and if he wasn"t the sheriff of a hick town- She silently laughed at herself. Basically, she was saying that it would never happen. She was just burying it in conditions. Just as well. She did better alone.
The line echoed in her head as they went to find Tina.
IT WASN"T DIFFICULT locating ICU. Once there, they found that Tina was the only one in the small, isolated area.
Obviously a slow day for traumas, Olivia thought sarcastically.
She was using sarcasm in a desperate attempt to shield her exposed feelings, even within the confines of her own mind. If she didn"t, it was just a matter of time-maybe even minutes-before she wound up breaking down. And if that happened, she wasn"t sure she could pull herself back together again.
For a moment, Olivia stood where she was, hesitant to approach her sister, to see Tina up close.
Even at this distance, her heart twisted at what she saw.
"She looks so pale," Olivia murmured.
"I"ll be right outside if you need me," Rick told her softly. And with that, he stepped out of the room.
Sensitivity. The sheriff was displaying sensitivity. The next thing she"d be finding out that Forever was the town where Santa Claus and his elves took their summer vacations, she thought.
Taking a deep breath, Olivia slowly approached Tina"s bed. Every step literally vibrated through her, echoing a warning, or putting her on some sort of notice.
She wanted to run, but she didn"t dare.
The sun came into the room, but all she felt was a darkness that threatened to swallow her and Tina up. Whole.
"Tina?" she whispered once she was at her sister"s bedside.
There was no reaction from Tina, no noise at all. Just the sounds of the machines that were attached to Tina, keeping track of her vital signs, feeding her and fighting off whatever infections lurked in the wings, waiting for a chance to envelope her weakened body.
"Tina, it"s me, Livy," Olivia whispered. "I came as soon as I could. This was one h.e.l.l of a hide-and-seek game you played this time." That had been Tina"s favorite game as a child. G.o.d, but she wished they could go back to that time. "You definitely weren"t easy to track down," she told the still figure. "Not like when you were little. But then, you always wanted to be found back then." Olivia took a breath, her voice quavering. "I got the feeling that you didn"t this time."
Olivia could feel the tears in her throat, threatening to choke her. She took Tina"s hand in hers, wrapping her fingers tightly around it.
Willing her sister awake. Willing her to be well.
Tina"s eyes remained closed.
"I found Bobby." She went on talking as if Tina had responded to her. Praying that she would, that her words would penetrate this thick curtain that separated them and bring her sister back to her. "He"s okay." She pressed her lips together as she looked down at her little sister. "Why did you leave him like that, Tina, on a stranger"s doorstep? Did you know this was going to happen? Was Don threatening to kill you both for some twisted, screwed-up reason?"
The question echoed around the small area, mocking her.
"Oh Tina, wake up, please wake up," she begged, squeezing her sister"s hand a little harder. "Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Tell me how to make it all better for you. Give me a clue. I"ll take care of you," she promised, her voice cracking, "but you have to give me a clue what you need. I can"t keep doing this all by myself."
Olivia gazed down at her sister. There was no indication that any of her words had penetrated, or that Tina was any closer to coming around than she had been a few minutes ago.
No indication that she would ever come around.
Overwhelmed and close to the breaking point, Olivia began to softly cry. Once she allowed herself to stray from the rigid path she"d set down, she couldn"t quite manage to find her way back.
The tears, the sobs, just kept coming, threatening never to stop.
Olivia felt as overwhelmed now as she had when the police had come to the dorm that bleak, horrible evening to notify her that her parents had been murdered.
The floor beneath her feet had been slowly disintegrating since she"d walked into the ICU and she now found herself free-falling through s.p.a.ce with no signs of being able to stop.
Her heart was breaking.
While plummeting down into this blindingly dark abyss, she became vaguely aware of a pair of strong hands gently taking hold of her. Turning her around. And then she was enfolded in warm, comforting arms.
Instinctively, Olivia buried her face against her comforter"s chest. She shook as she cried herself out.
She lost track of time.
A minute, an hour, a day, Olivia had no idea how long she stood there, allowing herself to be held, sobbing out her pain.
Gradually, she became aware of a scent. It wasn"t the scent of cologne or aftershave or even shampoo. The scent teased her memory, making her think of shaving cream. Familiar shaving cream.
And then she knew who had wordlessly offered his support, held her while she temporarily ceased being "the responsible one" and just gave in to the hurt, the pain, to the frustration and the sorrow swirling inside her.
The man whose chest became more and more soggy from her tears was Rick.
Olivia struggled against the very strong desire to sink further into the abyss. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head. Her eyes met his.
"I must look terrible," she mumbled.
Rick fished out a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her. She was surprised to see that it was neatly folded in four rather than just crumpled and bearing signs of being shoved haphazardly in his back pocket.
"You look like someone who"s been through a lot," he contradicted. There was an understanding, encouraging smile on his lips. "Nothing wrong with that."
n.o.body would accuse the sheriff of being a smooth talker, Olivia thought, but there was no denying that the man knew how to be kind. She searched for something cryptic to say, something flippant to use as a shield, which would effectively draw attention away from her anguish.
Nothing came to her.
All she could do was whisper a faint thank-you, and surrender the handkerchief once she"d wiped away the tears from her cheeks.
He shook his head, closing his hand over hers and gently pushing it back. "Keep it," he told her. "In case you need it again."
Olivia wadded the handkerchief up in her hand, sternly telling herself she wasn"t going to cry anymore. She"d had her momentary breakdown, now it was time to get a grip.
Tears never solved anything.
"I thought you were going to wait outside," she said, her voice still hardly above a whisper. She was afraid that if she raised it, it would crack noticeably. She still had a ways to go before she was back in control of herself and she knew it.
"I thought so, too," he acknowledged, then nodded toward the wall next to Tina"s bed. "But the walls are kind of thin here and I heard you talking to your sister." For her benefit, he lowered his voice. "And I heard her not answering you."
A hint of a smile curved the corners of her mouth. "You know that"s not possible, right? You can"t "hear" something that isn"t being said."
Rick merely smiled indulgently. "We"ve got a different set of skills out here," he told her. To her surprise, he took her hand, not like a lover but like a friend. He gave it a gentle tug, encouraging her to come with him. "C"mon."
She didn"t have the strength to oppose him, didn"t even have the strength to ask him where he was taking her. Because if it was to the car, she wasn"t ready to leave, not yet. But rather than offer any opposition, she waited to see where he was going.
When Rick brought her over to the elevator, she allowed a sigh of relief to escape. They weren"t leaving. The ICU was on the first floor and all they had to do to get to the parking lot was to walk through the front doors.
The elevator arrived within seconds of his pressing the down b.u.t.ton. Ushering her into the elevator car, Rick pushed the b.u.t.ton with the glowing B for the bas.e.m.e.nt on it.
With effort, Olivia finally managed to pull herself together enough in order to begin framing a question. She got to utter only the first word.
"Where-"
"Cafeteria," he replied simply, antic.i.p.ating the rest of her question. "By my reckoning, you haven"t had anything to eat in quite some time."
She raised her eyes to his, her brain slowly engaging again. "Neither have you," she pointed out. They hadn"t stopped at a single take-out place since they"d left Forever.
"Exactly. I figure we both need to fuel up. The world always looks a little more manageable on a full stomach," he told her.
Olivia didn"t quite see it that way. Food was usually grabbed as she made her way to another destination, nibbled on every so often as she toiled over briefs and opening statements. She never sought out food for its own sake, or consumed it for the sheer pleasure of it the way she once had. This was why she"d never bothered to learn how to really cook.
Right now, she could feel her stomach churning in turmoil, tightening to the point that breathing became difficult. She was clearly running on empty, she thought, but she was far too agitated to sit down for a meal.
"I"m not sure I can keep anything down," she confided.
"Well, this is a hospital. I"m sure I can get someone to scare up an IV for you if you refuse to eat," he told her matter-of-factly. Obviously he intended for her to eat and was prepared to wait her out until she gave in and ate.
She was about to protest his taking charge this way, acting as if she was some wayward, willful child who couldn"t fend for herself. As if she"d suddenly been deemed incompetent.
For a moment, her back was up and she was ready to get into it with him.
But a part of her, a more grounded, clear-thinking part, annoyingly reminded her how badly she wanted someone to lean on, to share a little of the burden that she struggled with. And it was clear this sheriff, from that tiny spec-on-the-map town, was doing just that. He was taking charge, relieving her, just for a moment, of the burden she"d voluntarily picked up over ten years ago.
Sighing, Olivia walked in ahead of him as he held the swinging double doors open.
At first glance, the cafeteria dining area appeared to be only a little bigger than the kitchen in her apartment back home. An elderly woman nursing a cup of coffee sat at one of the seven tables. The other tables were empty.
It was obviously between meals, Olivia thought. A glance toward the food service revealed some things to choose from. A few platters planted on beds of ice maintained their positions behind gla.s.s part.i.tions.
"Maybe I can try to keep something down," she told him.
"Every success starts out with someone trying," Rick said, handing her a tray.
One look at his face told her that the sheriff actually believed in the simplistic adage.
Because she was still clutching the handkerchief he"d given her, Olivia kept her negative retort to herself. But she felt relieved that she was beginning to return to her old self again.
Chapter Nine.
Olivia discovered that she was hungrier than she"d realized. The moment she put a forkful of the beef stew that the sheriff had insisted on paying for into her mouth, she could feel her taste buds cheer. She ate with gusto, something she couldn"t remember doing in the recent past.
She was almost finished when she became aware of Rick observing her. His eyes almost seemed to be smiling as he watched her.
Lowering her fork and raising her guard, she met his gaze. "What?"
"Just nice watching you enjoy something," Rick replied.
She thought of how he"d insisted that she eat. He was the one who had put the stew on her tray, guaranteeing that she"d like it. "You just like being right."
"That, too."
He finished the cup of coffee he"d been nursing. The roast beef sandwich he"d ordered had become history quickly. The dispute over payment of the tab was taking longer to die.
She was accustomed to paying for everything or, at the very least, her own way. For the past ten years, she"d been adamant about not being in anyone"s debt in any manner, shape or form. "I still feel I should pay for my meal."
He wasn"t about to get roped into another discussion about this. The price of the stew and her soft drink was not going to break him. Besides, when he came right down to it, he kind of liked sitting across from her at the small table.
"That horse has already been ridden and put away," Rick told her. "A person who really feels in control lets other people do a few things once in a while." She put down her fork, finished. Rick nodded his approval. "Now then, you want dessert or are you ready to go?"
"Go?" The way he asked made her feel that he wasn"t referring to making their way back to the ICU and Tina.
"Back to Forever."
That was what she was afraid he was saying. She shook her head. "I can"t leave Tina." Not when her sister was like this, unconscious and vulnerable.
The woman was overprotective, he thought. Could be why her sister ran off the way she had. But it wasn"t his place to say that. Besides, he had the feeling Olivia would only get her back up if he did. "Seems to me that your sister"s in good hands. Her son needs you more than she does right now."
Bobby.
Oh G.o.d, she"d forgotten all about him. A huge wave of guilt washed over her, drenching her as it momentarily stole her breath away. How could she have forgotten about the baby?
Olivia pressed her lips together, vacillating, trying to sort things out in her head. The fact that the little boy was some sixty plus miles away presented a definite problem in logistics. She knew she couldn"t be in two places at once, but where was she most needed? Tina had always been her first priority, but now there was Bobby. Bobby had no one to take care of him except for her. And to complicate matters more, she didn"t even have a running car.
"Don"t worry about not being able to come back," Rick said, as if he was reading her mind. "I"ll bring you here tomorrow."
She"d a.s.sumed that this was a one-shot deal. "But aren"t you busy?"
An amused smile played on his lips. "As it happens, I"m in between crime waves, so I"ve got a little down-time." The smile widened as he added, "You might have noticed that."
He was essentially offering to be her chauffeur. The man didn"t know her from Adam-or Eve. Why was he being so nice to her? She"d never liked things she didn"t understand.
"It"s not that I"m not grateful," she began slowly, "it"s just that I can"t impose on you like this."