"Many times."
They went up the stairs together and stood beside the bed. The thought uppermost in Taffy"s mind was--"He called for me. He wanted me. He was my father and I never knew him."
But Humility in her sorrow groped amid such questions as these, "What has happened? Who am I? Am I she who yesterday had a husband and a child? To-day my husband is gone and my child is no longer the same child."
In her room old Mrs. Venning remembered the first days of her own widowhood, and life seemed to her a very short affair, after all.
Honoria saw Taffy beside the grave. It was no season for out-of-door flowers, and she had rifled her hothouses for a wreath. The exotics shivered in the north-westerly wind; they looked meaningless, impertinent, in the gusty churchyard. Humility, before the coffin left the house, had brought the dead man"s old blue working-blouse, and spread it for a pall. No flowers grew in the Parsonage garden; but pressed in her Bible lay a very little bunch, gathered, years ago, in the meadows by Honiton. This she divided and, unseen by anyone, pinned the half upon the breast of the patched garment.
On the evening after the funeral and for the next day or two she was strangely quiet, and seemed to be waiting for Taffy to make some sign. Dearly as mother and son loved one another, they had to find their new positions, each toward each. Now Taffy had known nothing of his parents" income. He a.s.sumed that it was little enough, and that he must now leave Oxford and work to support the household.
He knew some Latin and Greek; but without a degree he had little chance of teaching what he knew. He was a fair carpenter, and a more than pa.s.sable smith. . . . He revolved many schemes, but chiefly found himself wondering what it would cost to enter an architect"s office.
"I suppose," said he, "father left no will?"
"Oh yes, he did," said Humility, and produced it: a single sheet of foolscap signed on her wedding day. It gave her all her husband"s property absolutely--whatever it might be.
"Well," said Taffy, "I"m glad. I suppose there"s enough for you to rent a small cottage, while I look about for work?"
"Who talks about your finding work? You will go back to Oxford, of course."
"Oh, shall I?" said Taffy, taken aback.
"Certainly; it was your father"s wish."
"But the money?"
"With your scholarship there"s enough to keep you there for the four years. After that, no doubt, you will be earning a good income."
"But--" He remembered what had been said about the lace-money, and could not help wondering.
"Taffy," said his mother, touching his hand, "leave all this to me until your degree is taken. You have a race to run and must not start unprepared. If you could have seen _his_ joy when the news came of the demy-ship!"
Taffy kissed her and went up to his room. He found his books laid out on the little table there.
4.
"TREDINNIS, February 13, 18--."
"MY DEAR TAFFY,--I have a valentine for you, if you care to accept it; but I don"t suppose you will, and indeed I hope in my heart that you will not. But I must offer it.
Your father"s living is vacant, and my trustees (that is to say, Sir Harry; for the other, a second cousin of mine who lives in London, never interferes) can put in someone as a stop-gap, thus allowing me to present you to it when the time comes, if you have any thought of Holy Orders. You will understand exactly why I offer it; and also, I hope, you will know that I think it wholly unworthy of you. But turn it over in your mind and give me your answer."
"George and I are to be married at the end of April. May is an unlucky month. It shall be a week--even a fortnight--earlier, if that fits in with your vacation, and you care to come.
See how obliging I am! I yield to you what I have refused to Sir Harry. We shall try to persuade the Bishop to come and open the church on the same day."
"Always your friend,"
"HONORIA."
5.
"TREDINNIS, February 21. 18--."
"My Dear Taffy,--No, I am not offended in the least; but very glad. I do not think you are fitted for the priesthood; but my doubts have nothing to do with your doubts, which I don"t understand, though you tried to explain them so carefully.
You will come through _them_, I expect. I don"t know that I have any reasons that could be put on paper: only, somehow, I cannot _see_ you in a black coat and clerical hat."
"You complain that I never write about George. You don"t deserve to hear, since you refuse to come to our wedding.
But would _you_ talk, if you happened to be in love? There, I have told you more than ever I told George, whose conceit has to be kept down. Let this console you."
"Our new parson, when he comes, is to lodge down in Innis Village. Your mother--but no doubt she has told you--stays in the Parsonage while she pleases. She and your grandmother are both well. I see her every day: I have so much to learn, and she is so wise. Her beautiful eyes--but oh, Taffy, it must be terrible to be a widow! She smiles and is always cheerful; but the _look_ in them! How can I describe it? When I find her alone with her lace-work, or sometimes (but it is not often) with her hands in her lap, she seems to come out of her silence with an effort, as others withdraw themselves from talk.
I wonder if she does talk in those silences of hers.
Another thing, it is only a few weeks now since she put on a widow"s cap, and yet I cannot remember her--can scarcely picture her--without it. I am sure that if I happened to call one day when she had laid it aside, I should begin to talk quite as if we were strangers."
"Believe me, yours sincerely,"
"HONORIA."
But the wedding, after all, did not take place until the beginning of October, a week before the close of the Long Vacation; and Taffy, after all, was present. The postponement had been enforced by many delays in building and furnishing the new wing at Carwithiel; for Sir Harry insisted that the young couple must live under one roof with him, and Honoria (as we know) hated the very stones of Tredinnis.
The Bishop came to spend a week in the neighbourhood; the first three days as Honoria"s guest. On the Sat.u.r.day he consecrated the work of restoration in the church, and in the afternoon held a confirmation service. Taffy and Honoria knelt together to receive his blessing.
It was the girl"s wish. The shadow of her responsibility to G.o.d and man lay heavy on her during the few months before her marriage: and Taffy, already weary and dispirited with his early doubtings, suffered her mood of exaltation to overcome him like a wave and sweep him back to rest for a while on the still waters of faith.
Together they listened while the Bishop discoursed on the dead Vicar"s labours with fluency and feeling; with so much feeling, indeed, that Taffy could not help wondering why his father had been left to fight the battle alone.
On the Sunday and Monday two near parishes claimed the Bishop.
On the Tuesday he sent his luggage over to Carwithiel, whither he was to follow after the wedding service, to spend a day or two with Sir Harry. It had been Honoria"s wish that George should choose Taffy for his best man; but George had already invited one of his sporting friends, a young Squire Philpotts from the eastern side of the Duchy; and as the date fell at the beginning of the hunting season, he insisted on a "pink" wedding. Honoria consulted the Bishop by letter. "Did he approve of a "pink" wedding so soon after the bride"s confirmation?" The Bishop saw no harm in it.
So a "pink" wedding it was, and the scarlet coats made a lively patch of colour in the gray churchyard: but it gave Taffy a feeling that he was left out in the cold. He escorted his mother to the church, and left her for a few minutes in the Vicarage pew. The bridegroom and his friends were gathered in a showy cl.u.s.ter by the chancel step, but the bride had not arrived, and he stepped out to help in marshalling the crowd of miners and mine-girls, fishermen, and mothers with unruly children--a hundred or so in all, lining the path or straggling among the graves.
Close by the gate he came on a girl who stood alone.
"Hullo, Lizzie--you here?"
"Why not?" she asked, looking at him sullenly.
"Oh, no reason at all."
"There might ha" been a reason," said she, speaking low and hurriedly. "You might ha" saved me from this, Mr. Raymond; and her too; one time, you might."
"Why, what on earth is the matter?" He looked up. The Tredinnis carriage and pair of grays came over the knoll at a smart trot, and drew up before the gate.
"Matter?" Lizzie echoed with a short laugh. "Oh, nuthin".
I"m goin" to lay the curse on her, that"s all."
"You shall not!" There was no time to lose.
Honoria"s trustee--the second cousin from London, a tall, clean-shaven man with a shiny bald head, and a shiny hat in his hand--had stepped out and was helping the bride to alight.
What Lizzie meant Taffy could not tell; but there must be no scene.
He caught her hand. "Mind--I say you shall not!" he whispered.
"Lemme go--you"re creamin" my fingers."