She nodded again, her face averted, her eyes still following the movements of her fingers at her wrist.
"I can"t express it in language very different from that," he stammered, "because--well, because I"m not--not very happy; and the chief thing I feel about you is that you"re a kind of--of shelter."
He had found the word that explained his state of mind. It was as a shelter that he was seeking her. If there were points of view from which his object was to protect her, there were others from which he needed protection for himself. In desiring her as his wife he was, as it were, fleeing to a refuge. He did desire her as his wife, even though but yesterday he had more violently desired Rosie Fay. The violence was perhaps the secret of his reaction--not that it was reaction so much as the turning of his footsteps toward home. He was homing to her. He was homing to her by an instinct beyond his skill to a.n.a.lyze, though he knew it to be as straight and sure as that of the pigeon to the cote.
There was a silence following his use of the word shelter--a silence in which she seemed to envelop him with her deep, luminous regard. The still, remote beauty of the winter woods, the notes of friendly birds, the sweet, wild music of the wind in the tree-tops, accompanied that look, as mystery and incense and organ harmonies go with benedictions.
"Oh, Thor, you"re wonderful!" was all she could say, when words came to her. "You make me feel as if I could be of some use in the world. What"s more wonderful still, you make me feel as if I had been of use all these years when I"ve felt so useless."
It was in the stress of the sensation of having wandered into far, exotic regions in which his feet could only stray that he said, simply, "You"re home to me."
She was so near to bursting into tears that she turned from him sharply and walked up the hill. He followed slowly, swinging the empty basket.
Her buoyant step on the snow, over which the frost had drawn the thinnest of shining crusts, gave a nymphlike smoothness to her motion.
Having reached the treeless ridge, she emerged on that high altar on which, not twenty-four hours earlier, he had sunk face downward in the snow. The snow had drifted again over his footprints and the mark of his form. It was drifting still, in little powdery whirls, across a surface that caught tints of crimson and glints of fire from an angry sunset. It was windy here. As she stood above him, facing the north, her figure poised against a glowering sky, her garments blew backward. Even when he reached her and was standing by her side, she continued to gaze outward across the undulating, snow-covered country, in the folds of which an occasional farm-house lamp shone like a pale twilight star.
"You see, it"s this way," he pursued, as though there had been no interruption. "When I"m with you I seem to get back to my natural conditions--the conditions in which I can live and work. That"s what I mean by your being home to me. Other places"--he ventured this much of the confession he had at heart--"other places have their temptations; but it"s only at home that one lives."
He took courage to go on from the way in which her gloved hand stole into his. "I dare say you think I talk too much about work; but, after all, we can"t forget that we live in a country in the making, can we? In a way, it"s a world in the making. There"s everything to do--and I want to be doing some of it, Lois," he declared, with a little outburst. "I can"t help it. I know some people think I"m an enthusiast, and others put me down as a prig--but I can"t help it."
"I know you can"t, Thor, and I can"t tell you how much I--I"--she felt for the right word--"I admire it."
He turned to her eagerly. "You"re the only one, Lois, who knows what I mean--who can speak my language. You want to be useful, too."
"And I never have been."
"Nor I. I"ve known that things were to be done; but I haven"t known how to set about them, or where to begin. Don"t you think we may be able to find the way together?"
She seemed suddenly to cling to him. "Oh, Thor, if you"d only make me half as good as you are!"
Perhaps the ardor with which he seized her was the unspent force of the longing roused in him by Rosie. Perhaps it blazed up in him merely because she was a woman. For two or three days now his need of the feminine had been acute. Did she minister to that? or did she bring him something that could be offered by but one woman in the world? He couldn"t tell. He only knew that he had her in his arms, with his lips on hers, and that he was content. He was content, with a sense of fulfilment and appeas.e.m.e.nt. It was as if he had been straining for a great prize and won the second--but at a moment when he had expected none at all. There was happiness in it, even if it was a quieter, staider happiness than that of which he now knew himself to be capable.
"You"re home to me, Lois," he murmured as he held her. "You"re home to me."
He meant that though there were strange, entrancing Edens on which he had not been allowed to enter, there was, nevertheless, a vast peace of mind to be found at the restful, friendly fireside.
"And you"re the whole wide world to me, Thor," she whispered, clasping her arms about his neck and drawing his face nearer.
CHAPTER XVI
On leaving Lois and returning homeward, Thor met his brother at the entrance to the avenue. They had not spoken since the preceding night.
On purpose to avoid a meeting, Claude had breakfasted early and escaped to town before Thor had come down-stairs. In the glimpse Thor had caught of his younger brother as the latter left the house he saw that he looked white and worried.
He looked white and worried still under the glare of street electricity.
As they walked up the driveway together Thor took the opportunity to put himself right in the matter that lay most urgently on his mind. "Lois and I are to be married on one of the last days of February," he said, with his best attempt to speak casually. "She wants to work it in before Lent, which begins on the first day of March. Have scruples about marrying in Lent in their church. Quiet affair. No one but the two families."
Claude asked the question as to which he felt most curiosity. "Going to tell father?"
"To-night. No use shilly-shallying about things of that sort. Father mayn"t like it; but he can"t kick."
Claude spoke moodily: "He can"t kick in your case."
"We"re grown men, Claude. We"re the only judges of what"s right for us.
I don"t mean any disrespect to father; but we"ve got to be free. Best way, as far as I see, is to be open and aboveboard and firm. Then everybody knows where you are."
Claude made no response till they reached the door-step, where he lingered. "Look here, Thor," he said then, "I"ve got to put this thing through in my own way, you know."
Thor didn"t need to be told what this thing was. "That"s all right, Claude. I"ve got nothing to do with it."
"You"ve got something to do with it when you put up the money. And what I feel," he added, complainingly, "is that my taking it makes me look as if I was bought."
"Oh, rot, Claude!" Thor made a great effort. "Hang it all! when a fellow"s in--in love, and going to be married himself, you don"t suppose he can ignore his own brother who"s in the same sort of box, and can"t be married for the sake of a few hundred dollars? That wouldn"t be human."
It was not difficult for Claude to take this point of view, but he repeated, tenaciously, "I"ve got to do it in my own way."
"Good Lord! old chap, I don"t care how you do it," Thor declared, airily, "so long as it"s done. Just buck up and be a man, and you"ll pull it off magnificently. It"s the sort of thing you"ve got to pull off magnificently--or slump."
"That"s what I think," Claude agreed, "and so I"m"--he hesitated before announcing so bold a program--"and so I"m going to take her abroad."
"Oh!" Thor gave a little gasp. He had not expected to have Rosie pa.s.s out of his ken. He had supposed that he should remain near her, watch over her, know what she was doing and what was being done to her. He was busy trying to readjust his mind while Claude stammered out suggestions for the payment of Rosie"s proposed dowry. It was clear without his saying so that he hated doing it; but he did say so, adding that it made him feel as if he was bought.
Thor was irritated by the repet.i.tion. "Let"s drop that, Claude, if you don"t mind. Be satisfied once for all that if you and Rosie accept the money it will be as a favor to me. I"m so built that I can"t be happy in my own marriage without knowing that you and--and she have the chance to be happy in yours. With all the money that"s coming to me, and that I"ve never done any more to deserve than you have, what I"m setting aside will be a trifle. As to the payments, I"ll do just as you say. The first quarter will be paid to Rosie on the day you"re married--when there"ll be a little check for you, for good luck. So go ahead and make your plans. Go abroad, if you want to. Dare say it"s the best thing you can do."
To escape his brother"s shamefaced thanks Thor pa.s.sed into the porch.
"I"m not going to tell any one about it till I"m ready," Claude warned as he followed.
Thor turned. "Of course you know that father"s on to the whole business."
"The deuce he is!"
"Father told me. How did you suppose I knew anything about it?"
"So that"s it! Been wondering all day who could have given me away.
That"s Uncle Sim"s tricks. Knew the old fool had his eye--"
"It was bound to come out somehow, you know, in a little village like this. Natural enough that Uncle Sim should want to put father wise to a matter that concerns the whole family. I thought I"d tell you so that you can take your line."
"Take what line?"
"How do I know? That"s up to you. The line that will best protect Rosie, I suppose. Remember that that"s your first consideration now. I only want you to understand that you can"t keep father in the dark. I should say it was more dignified, and perhaps better policy, not to try."
An hour later Mrs. Masterman was commenting at the dinner-table on the pleasing circ.u.mstance that invitations to Miss Elsie Darling"s party had come for the entire family. There were cards not only for the two young men, but for the father and mother also. Since both the older and the younger members of society were included, it was clear that the function was to pa.s.s the limitations of a dance and become a ball.