DR. (_picking up book_) And with my sermons on her lap again. (_wakes her_) Diana!
MRS. D. (_waking_) It"s very strange, I can"t get to sleep. (_rises_) You must know, Mrs. Blake, I am a victim to insomnia.
ALMA. I see. You take sermons medicinally.
MRS. D. Good gracious, Dionysius! What have you there? (_points to b.u.t.tonhole_)
DR. A rose, my love--a simple rose. There is no evil in a simple rose.
NED. Don"t you admire it?
MRS. D. I don"t like the look of it at all. Where did you get it from?
DR. Hem! hem! (_fidgetting with the book; down, R.C._) A tendency to be too interrogative is the besetting weakness of the age we live in.
MRS. D. Come, Dionysius, the truth!
DR. It is to this undue yearning after truth that I attribute the prevailing scepticism.
MRS. D. That isn"t answering my question.
ALMA. (_conquering her laughter, comes to his rescue_) I"m sorry you don"t like it, Mrs. Dozey. Your husband thought you"d be so pleased with it. (_gives DR. DOZEY a slight nudge_)
MRS. D. He gathered it for _me!_
DR. (_presenting it_) Diana, you are always on my mind.
MRS. D. How can I thank you, Dionysius? (_embraces DR. DOZEY, while ALMA shakes hands with him behind his back, where he is holding the book_)
DR. (_turning aside, and down, R._) That is a very clever woman.
(_opens book and reads; business with ALMA, as below_)
_Re-enter SIR HUMPHREY and d.i.c.k, R._
d.i.c.k. (_wiping his mouth_) Capital Heidseck.
SIR H. Glad you enjoyed it, Mr. d.i.c.k.
d.i.c.k. Capital wine.
MRS. D. Sir Humphrey, see what Dionysius has given me. (_showing rose_)
SIR H. Charming--exquisite!
d.i.c.k. Call that a rose?
SIR H. Mr. d.i.c.k--Mrs. Dozey.
d.i.c.k. My man, Groggins, would turn you out a better article.
Groggins"s the man for flowers.
MRS. D. (_to d.i.c.k_) Your gardener, sir?
d.i.c.k. Gardener? No. My property master. Marvellous florist! Nature"s not in it with Groggins.
NED. (_to d.i.c.k_) You don"t seem to have a very high opinion of nature?
d.i.c.k. No, sir. Nature was only a beginner. Don"t like amateurs, except for _matinees._
_Meanwhile ALMA has been making signs to DR. DOZEY, pointing to b.u.t.tonhole and MRS. DOZEY; DR. DOZEY, behind the open book, responds in pantomime; MRS. DOZEY observing this comes down between them; DR.
DOZEY drops his eyes on book and turns off; she pursues him; ALMA turns off to SIR HUMPHREY, who leaves NED with d.i.c.k._
ALMA. (_getting round back_) Sir Humphrey, you must take me round the park. I haven"t seen half the beauties of the place.
SIR H. Nothing would please me better. Ned, we"re going out into the grounds. Perhaps Mr. d.i.c.k would like to see them.
d.i.c.k. Certainly. Give me an appet.i.te for dinner. (_to NED_) What time do you dine?
ALMA. (_going out with SIR HUMPHREY_) Doctor, won"t you come with us?
(_making eyes at him_)
DR. (_with alacrity_) Surely!
MRS. D. (_crosses, R., checking him_) Dionysius!
SIR H. (_to ALMA_) Take my arm, Mrs. Blake.
ALMA. I like the doctor. (_taking SIR HUMPHREY"S arm_)
SIR H. An old schoolfellow.
ALMA. He"s going to "nurture" me. Isn"t it kind of him? (_Exit with SIR HUMPHREY, through window, off R._)
d.i.c.k. (_following with NED_) Sorry I lost your comedy. If a romantic drama would be any compensation, or a tragedy in seven acts, or a historical pageant in thirteen tableaux, come to the theatre and take your choice. (_Exit with NED through window, C., off L._)
DR. (_crosses, C._) My love, you are in error.
MRS. D. Nonsense! You"ve been philandering for the last ten minutes.
_You,_ Dionysius, who have always professed such horror of stage players.
DR. Mrs. Blake may be regarded in two aspects.
MRS. D. You"ve been regarding her in half-a-dozen!
DR. It is our duty to hate sin, but to love sinners. One may, at one and the same time, abhor the acting----
MRS. D. And adore the actress!
DR. I should prefer to say, regard the actress with that measure of fraternal sympathy to which all our erring sisters are ent.i.tled.