"I"ll bet that put him in a good humor," said Mr. Pottle in a murmured aside.
"You know perfectly well, Ambrose, that old Felix Winterbottom is never in a good humor," said his wife. "After talking with him, I really believe the story that he has never smiled in his life. Well, anyhow, I said to him, "See here now, Mr. Winterbottom, I"m going to give you a chance to show people your heart is in the right place, after all. The Day Nursery we ladies of the Browning-Tagore Club of Granville are starting needs just one thousand dollars. Won"t you let me put you down for that amount?""
Mr. Pottle whistled.
"Did he bite you?" he asked.
"I thought for a minute he was going to," admitted Mrs. Pottle, "and then he said, "Are the Gulicks interested in this?" I said, "Of course, they are. Mrs. P. Bradley Gulick is Chairman of the Pink Contribution Team, and Mrs. Wendell Gulick is Chairman----" "Stop," said Mr.
Winterbottom, giving me that fishy look of his, like a halibut in a cake of ice, "in that case, I wouldn"t give a cent, not one red cent.
Good-day, Mrs. Pottle." I went."
Mr. Pottle wagged his head sententiously.
"You"ll never get a nickel out of him now," he declared. "Never. You might have known that Felix Winterbottom would not go into anything the Gulicks were in. And," added Mr. Pottle thoughtfully, "I can"t say that I blame old Felix much."
"Ambrose!" reproved Mrs. Pottle, but her rebuke lacked a certain whole-heartedness, "The Gulicks are nice people; the nicest people in Granville."
"That"s the trouble with them," retorted Mr. Pottle, "they never let you forget it. That"s what ails this town; too much Gulicks. I"m not the only one who thinks so, either."
She did not attempt reb.u.t.tal, beyond saying,
"They"re our oldest family."
"Bah," said Mr. Pottle. He appeared to smolder, and then he flamed out,
"Honest, Blossom, those Gulicks make me just a little bit sick to the stummick. Just because some ancestor of theirs came over in the Mayflower, and because some other ancestor happened to own the farm this town was built on, you"d think they were the Duke of Kackiack, or something. The town grew up and made "em rich, but what did they ever do for the town?"
"Well," began Mrs. Pottle, more for the sake of debate than from conviction, "there"s Gulick Avenue, and Gulick Street, and Gulick Park----"
"Oh, they give their name freely enough," said Mr. Pottle. "But what did they give to the Day Nursery fund?"
"They did disappoint me," Mrs. Pottle admitted. "They only gave fifty dollars, which isn"t much for the second wealthiest family in town, but Mrs. P. Bradley Gulick said we could put her name at the head of the list----"
Mr. Pottle"s affable features attained an almost sardonic look.
"Oho," he said, pointedly. "Oho."
He flamed up again,
"That"s exactly the amount those pirates added to the rent of my barber shop," he stated, and then, pa.s.sion seething in his ordinarily amiable bosom, he went on, "A fine lot, they are, to be snubbing a self-made man like Felix Winterbottom, and turning up their thin, blue noses at Felix Winterbottom"s tannery."
"Ambrose," said his wife, with lifted blonde eyebrows, "please don"t make suggestive jokes in my presence."
"Honey swat key Molly pants," returned Mr. Pottle with a touch of bellicosity. "It"s no worse than other tanneries; and it"s the biggest in the state. Those Gulicks give me a pain, I tell you. You can"t pick up a paper without reading, "Mr. P. Bradley Gulick, one of our leading citizens, unveiled a tablet in the Gulick Hook and Ladder Company building yesterday in honor of his ancestor, Saul Gulick, one of the pioneers who hewed our great state out of the wilderness, and whose cider-press stood on the ground now occupied by the hook and ladder company." Or "Mrs. Wendell Gulick read a paper before the Society of Descendants of Officers Above the Rank of Captain on General Washington"s Staff on the heroic part played by her ancestor, Major Noah Gulick, at the battle of Saratoga." If it isn"t that it"s "The Spinning Wheel Club met at Mrs. Gulick"s palatial residence to observe the anniversary of the birth of Phineas Gulick, the first red-headed baby born in Ma.s.sachusetts." Bah, is what I say, Bah!"
He seethed and bubbled and broke out again.
"You"d think to hear them blow that the Gulicks discovered ancestors and had "em patented. I guess the Pottles had an ancestor or two. Even Felix Winterbottom had ancestors."
"Probably haddocks," said Mrs. Pottle coldly. "He can keep his old red cents."
"He will, never fear," her husband a.s.sured her. "After the way he and his family have been treated by the Gulicks, I don"t blame him."
Mrs. Pottle pumped up a sigh from the depths of a deep bosom and sank tearfully to a divan.
"And I"d set my heart on it," she sobbed.
"What, dear?"
"The Day Nursery. And it"s to fail for want of a miserable thousand dollars."
"Don"t speak disrespectfully of a thousand dollars, Blossom," Mr. Pottle enjoined his spouse. "That"s five thousand shaves. And don"t expect me to give anything more. You know perfectly well the barber-business is not what it used to be. I can"t give another red cent."
Mrs. Pottle sniffed.
"Who asked you for your red cents?" she inquired, with spirit. "I"ll make the money myself."
"You, Blossom?"
"Yes. Me."
"But how?"
She rose majestically; determination was in her pose, and the light of inspiration was in her bright blue eyes.
"We"ll give a pageant," she announced.
"A pageant?" Mr. Pottle showed some dismay. "A show, Blossom?"
"Evidently," she said, "you have not read your encyclopedia under "P.""
"I"m only as far as "ostriches,"" he answered, humbly.
""A pageant,"" she quoted, ""is an elaborate exhibition or spectacle, a series of stately tableaux or living pictures, frequently historic, and often with poetic spoken interludes.""
"Ah," beamed Mr. Pottle, nodding understandingly, "a circus!"
"Not in the least, Ambrose. Does your mind never soar? A pageant is a very beautiful and serious thing, with lots of lovely costumes, hundreds of people, horses, historic scenes----" she broke off suddenly. "When was Granville founded?"
He told her. Her eyes sparkled.
"Wonderful," she cried. "This year it will be two hundred years old.
We"ll give an historic pageant--the Growth of Civilization in Granville."
"It sounds expensive," objected Mr. Pottle.
"Don"t be sordid, Ambrose," said his wife.
"I"m not sordid, Blossom," he returned. "I"m a practical man. I know these kermesses and feats. My cousin Julia Onderdonk got up a pageant in Peoria once and now she hasn"t a friend in the place. Besides it only netted fourteen dollars for the Bide-a-wee Home. Now, honey, why not give a good, old-fashioned chicken supper in the church hall, with perhaps a minstrel show afterward? That would get my money----"