The Smiling, Proud Wanderer

"Who"s there?" Linghu Chong asked, stunned.

"Is that brother Linghu?" the man called out. "It"s me, Tian Boguang! Ouch! Whew!" He was obviously in great pain.

"Tian…brother Tian? What…happened to you?" Linghu Chong asked in shock.

"I am dying! Brother Linghu, do me a favor, will you? Ouch…ouch…go ahead and kill me to end my misery!" Tian Boguang begged. He groaned as he spoke, but his voice remained loud and clear.

"Are…you…you…wounded?" Linghu Chong asked. But in the meantime, his knees gave out. He fell down and rolled to the roadside.

"Are you wounded too?" Tian Boguang asked in shock. "Ouch! Ouch! Who did it to you?"

"That"s a long story. Tian…brother Tian, so who did that to you?"

"Alas, I don"t know!" Tian Boguang answered.

"How come?" Linghu Chong asked.

"I was just walking on the road, and suddenly someone grabbed my two legs and two arms and lifted me off the ground. I couldn"t even see who did it…," Tian Boguang answered.

"So it"s the Peach Valley"s Six Fairies again…. Why, brother Tian, aren"t you in the same team?" Linghu Chong grinned.

"What do you mean we are in the same team?" Tian Boguang was at a loss.

"You came to invite me to go see little apprentice sister…Yilin. They…they also came…to invite…me to go see…her…." Linghu Chong started panting.

Tian Boguang crawled slowly out of the bush.

"G.o.d d.a.m.n it! We are definitely not in the same team," Tian Boguang swore as he shook his head angrily. "They came up Mount Huashan looking for a guy and asked me where the guy was. So I asked them who they were looking for. But they said that since they caught me, they get to ask me questions, and I don"t get to ask them anything. If I had caught them, then I would get to ask them questions and they would not get to ask me anything. They…ouch…they said that if I"ve got skills, it would be totally fine for me to lift them up, and then…then it would be my turn to ask them questions."

Linghu Chong laughed out loud. But only after a few laughs he was already out of breath and had to stop.

"At that time, I was still hanging in mid-air facing down. How the heck could I lift them up even if I did have superb skills? What kind of horse dung was that?"

"So what happened next?" Linghu Chong asked.

"I said, "I never wanted to ask you. You are the ones asking here. Put me down." Then one of them said, "Since we"ve already lifted you up, if we don"t rip you into four pieces, wouldn"t it look real bad for us six great heroes?" Another one asked, "Will he still be able to talk after we rip him into four pieces?"" Tian Boguang paused to catch his breath.

"Those six guys always resort to sophistry and tangle things in a mess. Brother Tian, that"s enough…enough of the story," Linghu Chong said.

"Humph! The h.e.l.l with them!" Tian Boguang cursed and went on.

"Then one of them said, "Duh, of course a guy in four pieces can"t talk. The six of us have ripped hundreds of people into four pieces before. When did you ever hear any of them talk after we ripped them apart?"

"Another one argued, "The reason why a guy in four pieces doesn"t talk is because we never asked him to. If we were to ask him anything, I am sure he wouldn"t dare not to answer."

"Then a third one mocked, "He is already in four pieces. What"s there to be afraid of? There"s no point for him to dare. Would he be afraid that we"d rip him into eight pieces?"

"The previous one said, "Rip him into eight pieces? That Kung Fu is no small matter. We used to know that Kung Fu, but we must have forgotten it already. ""

Tian Boguang told the story in a disjointed manner. It was amazing that he memorized every little bit of it while being inflicted with serious injuries.

"Those six brothers are surely the rare kind in this world. They…they got me pretty good too," Linghu Chong said with a sigh.

"So brother Linghu, they wounded you too?" Tian Boguang asked in astonishment.

"Unfortunately so!" Linghu Chong heaved another sigh.

"To tell you the truth, when I was hanging in mid-air, I was really scared. So I shouted loudly, "If you rip me into four pieces, I won"t talk for sure. Even if my tongue is still capable of talking, I would be so p.i.s.sed in my heart that I definitely wouldn"t talk."

"One of them said, "Once we rip you into four pieces, your tongue is on one piece, and your heart is on another piece. How can you still relate what your tongue is gonna say with what you feel in your heart?"

"That was when I decided to throw nonsense right back at them. So I shouted, "If you want to ask your question, better ask it quick. If you don"t put me down right away, I am gonna let out my poisonous gas now."

"One of them asked, "Let out your poisonous gas? What do you mean?"

"I said, "My farts stink like h.e.l.l. Once it reaches you, you would not only lose your appet.i.te for at least three days and three nights, you would also throw up so badly that even the stuff you ate three days ago would come back out of your mouth. I"ve warned you. Don"t blame me for not telling you ahead of time. ""

"Hey, good point," Linghu Chong remarked with a weak smile.

"Yep," Tian Boguang replied, "as soon as those four guys heard my words, they all cried out in unison and threw me back down to the ground before leaping back. I jumped back onto my feet and then saw six very odd-looking old folks, each covering his nose tightly with his hand, obviously afraid of my stinking farts. Brother Linghu, did you say that those six guys are called something like Peach Valley"s Six Fairies?"

"That"s right! Alas, too bad that I am not as smart as you, brother Tian, and didn"t think of the stinking-fart…stratagem to scare them off. This stratagem of yours is really no less than the…the empty-city stratagem Zhu Geliang used that scared away Sima Yi"s army. "[1]

Tian Boguang let out a few hollow laughs and spilled out some more curses before continuing on with his story.

"I knew that those six guys are not to be trifled with, but as luck would have it, I left my blade on top of your "Cliff of Contemplation." So I figured that I"d better make it the banana and split, but those six guys had already stood in front of me in a line with their hands still covering their noses, and blocked my way like a wall made of flesh. Hha, none of them dared to stand behind my back though. Seeing that there was no way I could make my way through, I turned around immediately, but who would have thought that those six guys could move like ghosts and somehow had already circled around to block in front of me again. I turned a couple more times but still could not get rid of them, so I walked backwards step after step until my back touched the precipice wall. The six freaks burst with joy and chortled as they asked again and again. "Where is he? Where is that guy?"

"I asked, "Who are you looking for?"

"Those six freaks said in unison, "We have surrounded you. You"ve got nowhere to go. You must answer our question."

"One of them said, "If it were you who have surrounded us and we"ve got nowhere to go, then you could ask us and we would have to answer your question."

"Another one argued, "He is only by himself. How will he be able to surround the six of us?"

"The previous one said, "What if he had superb skills and could beat the six of us all by himself?"

"The second one said, "Then he is capable of beating us, not surrounding us."

"The previous one said, "But what if he drove us into a cave and blocked the entrance so none of us could get out? Wouldn"t you call that surrounding?"

"The second one argued, "That"s called blocking, not surrounding."

"The previous one said, "Then what if he extends his arms and embraces all of us into his arms? Now that"s definitely called surrounding."

"The second one argued, "First, n.o.body in this world has arms that long. Second, even if there are really people who have arms that long, this guy here does not. Third, even if he could embrace all of us with his arms, that"s called embracing, not surrounding."

"The previous one pulled a long face and didn"t know how to argue that, yet he didn"t want to admit his defeat. After a few moment of dazing, he suddenly broke into loud laughter. "That"s it! If he keeps farting and surrounds us with his stinky gas so we couldn"t run away – wouldn"t you call that surrounding?"

"The other four freaks applauded and agreed in laughter, "He"s right! This chap surely can surround us."

"An idea suddenly struck me. Wasting no time, I started running at once while shouting, "I…I am surrounding you now."

"I figured, since they are so afraid of my farts, surely they wouldn"t go after me, but who would have thought that those six freaks had lightning fast speed. Only after a few steps, they had already grabbed hold of me. As soon as they caught me, they pressed down hard with tight grips and forced me to sit on top of a big rock, so that even if I did fart, my stinking gas wouldn"t come out."

Linghu Chong couldn"t help but burst into loud laughter. Only after a few laughs, he felt great uneasiness from his chest and stopped laughing abruptly.

Tian Boguang went on.

"After those six freaks placed their tight grips on me, one of them asked, "Where does one"s gas come from?"

"Another one answered, "Gas comes from one"s intestines, then of course it belongs to the Yang-Ming Intestine Channel. I"d better seal his Shang-Yang, He-Gu, Qu-Chi, and Ying-Xiang those points."

"Right after those words, he had already sealed those four points with a simple wave. I"ve never seen such lightning fast yet extremely accurate point-sealing techniques. That was something! I couldn"t help but admire him. After he sealed my points, all six freaks let out of a breath of relief as if relieved of a heavy load. They said, "This stinking…stinking…stinking fart tank won"t be able to release his stinking gas now."

"The one who sealed my points asked again, "Hey, where on earth is that guy? If you don"t tell us, I"ll never release your sealed points. Think about it, having gas yet not being able to let it out. You are gonna feel really bloated!"

"I thought to myself that when six freaks with such outstanding Kung Fu skills came to Mount Huashan, it"s obvious that they wouldn"t be looking for any ordinary person. Brother Linghu, at that time your respectful Master, Mr. Yue, and his wife weren"t on Mount Huashan. Even if they had come back, then of course they would be back in the "House of Integrity" and would be very easy to locate. I thought about it back and forth and could only come up with one logical answer. Those six freaks must be looking for your Grand Uncle-Master, Grandmaster Feng."

Linghu Chong felt a shock in his heart. "Did you tell them?" he asked in a hurry.

"Bah! What kind of person do you think I am?" Tian Boguang was very displeased. "I have already promised you that I would never let out Grandmaster Feng"s whereabouts. Are you saying that I, a gallant man, was just talking out of my a.s.s?"

"Pardon me, brother Tian! My bad! Please don"t mind," Linghu Chong apologized.

"If you still look down upon me, we"d better just sever at one blow – make it a clean break, and starting from now on, we are no friends."

Linghu Chong remained silent and thought to himself, "You are the evil rapist that everyone in the Martial World holds in contempt. Who would ever consider you a friend? But since you could have killed me multiple times yet you never did, so I guess I do owe you a debt of grat.i.tude."

In the darkness, Tian Boguang couldn"t get a good look at Linghu Chong"s expression. a.s.suming that Linghu Chong"s silence meant his compromise, he continued on.

"Those six freaks just kept asking me. I said loudly, "I know the whereabouts of this person, but I will never tell. There are countless of peaks and valleys and caves on Mount Huashan. I am not going to tell you, and you will never find him in this life?"

"Those six freaks were enraged. They tormented and tortured me. But I simply ignored them afterwards. Brother Linghu, those six freaks" Kung Fu skills are very eccentric. You"d better go tell Grandmaster Feng quickly. Even though his sword skills are splendid, it"s still better prepared than getting surprised."

Tian Boguang mentioned that "The six freaks tormented and tortured me" in a very casual way, but Linghu Chong could easily imagine how much cruel and brutal torments actually were put on him and how much excruciating pain and suffering he had to endure. The six freaks had good intentions when they tried to heal his wounds, and what happened? Even now he was still suffering from the consequence. When they coerced Tian Boguang into telling the answer, it was not hard to imagine how nasty they could be. Feeling quite sorry for Tian Boguang, he said to him.

"You are a true man who keeps his words. You would rather die than let out my Grand Uncle-Master Feng"s whereabouts. But…but those Peach Valley"s Six Fairies were really looking for me, not my Grand Uncle-Master Feng."

"Looking for you? Why are they looking for you?" Tian Boguang felt a big shock going through his entire body.

"They are just like you and were asked by little apprentice sister Yilin to invite me to go see…see her," Linghu Chong answered.

That left Tian Boguang completely traumatized. He opened his mouth wide, yet nothing came out of it except deep groans. After a long while, Tian Boguang finally came back to his senses and spoke again.

"If I had known those six freaks were looking for you, I would have told them everything right away. Once those six freaks invite you over, I can just follow behind instead of rotting here on Mount Huashan dying from the poison. Well, if those six freaks got you, how come they didn"t carry you to go see the little Sister?"

"That"s really a long story," Linghu Chong heaved a deep sigh. "Brother Tian, did you say something about rotting here on Huashan dying from the poison?"

"Didn"t I tell you earlier that someone sealed my Death Points and planted strong poison in my body so he could compel me into inviting you over within one month to meet that little Sister? Only after I completed the mission successfully would he release my points and give me the antidote. But I could neither invite you over, nor take you there by force, and ended up having wounds all over me from the torturing of those six freaks. It"s only like ten days away from the date the poison is scheduled to activate."

"Where is little apprentice sister Yilin? How many days do you think it will take to get there?" Linghu Chong asked.

"You are willing to go now?" Tian Boguang asked.

"You spared my life on more than one occasion. Although you had many improper behaviors, I can"t just watch you die of poison for my sake right in front of my eyes. On that day when you tried to coerce me into complying, of course I would not bend. But it"s a completely different situation now," Linghu Chong answered.

"The little Sister is in Shanxi Province. Alas…if we were still fit, it wouldn"t take more than six or seven days to get there on fast horses. But since we are both in such bad shape, forget about that," Tian Boguang commented.

"I am only waiting for my final time here on Mount Huashan anyway. I"ll go with you. Who knows? Maybe G.o.d will give his blessings, so we will be able to hire some fast wagons that will take us into Shanxi Province within ten days," Linghu Chong suggested.

"I have committed countless crimes in my life and harmed many innocent people. Why would G.o.d give me his blessings? Unless G.o.d had gone blind." Tian Boguang grinned.

"Hmm, sometimes…sometimes G.o.d…does go blind. We are going to die anyway. There"s nothing to lose for trying it out."

"That"s right! What"s the difference whether I die on the road or on Mount Huashan?" Tian Boguang applauded. "I think the first thing we need to do is to go down the mountain and find something to eat. Ever since I was dumped here, I could only eat unripe chestnuts off the ground. I am really craving for some decent food. Can you get up? Let me give you a hand."

He offered to "give a hand," yet couldn"t even get up himself. Linghu Chong wanted to give him a prop, but didn"t have any strength either. The two of them struggled for a while but achieved no progress whatsoever. Suddenly, both of them burst into loud laughter.

"I"ve been wandering in the Martial World for years, yet to find any bosom friend. But today I get to die here together with brother Linghu. What a joy it is!" Tian Boguang said.

"Later when my Master sees our corpses, he probably would a.s.sume that the two of us have ended in a common ruin after a fierce fight. Who would have guessed that we were still calling each other brothers before we kicked the bucket?" Linghu Chong let out a grin.

Tian Boguang reached out with his hand. "Brother Linghu, let"s shake hands before we die."

Linghu Chong hesitated. Obviously Tian Boguang wanted to be intimate friends with him and share a common destiny. But Tian was the notorious evil rapist, and he was the disciple of a reputable sword school. How could he make friends with someone like Tian? That day when he beat Tian several times in the contests and spared his life each time, he could still attribute that to the fact that Tian spared his life multiple times first. But to still mangle up with him today really couldn"t be justified at all. With those thoughts, he reached out with his hand but stopped half way.

Tian Boguang only thought that Linghu Chong"s wounds were too severe that he simply didn"t have enough strength to move his arm. So he said loudly, "Brother Linghu, you are my intimate friend now. If you die because of your wounds before I die, I swear that I will not stay living alone."

Touched by the sincerity in Tian Boguang"s words, Linghu Chong thought, "He surely deserves to be called a true friend." So he reached out with his hands and held Tian"s right hand. "Brother Tian, at least we won"t be heading to the underworld alone and die a lonely death," Linghu Chong said with a smile.

Before his words even faded, he suddenly heard a gloomy sneer rise from behind his back. Then a voice said, "Who would have expected the Head Apprentice of the Huashan Sword School Qi-Branch to have sunk so low and made friends with a notorious evil rapist?"

"Who are you?" Tian Boguang yelled out.

Linghu Chong couldn"t help but groan inwardly, "It"s no big deal that I am gonna die from my severe wounds, but now I"ve just put Master"s reputation in jeopardy. How terrible!"

In the darkness, he could vaguely see a shadow standing next to him with a long sword in his hand. The blade flashed dimly from the starlight.

"Linghu Chong, it"s still not too late to take back what you said. Take this sword and waste that Tian-named evil rapist, then n.o.body will condemn you for making friends with him," the shadow said with a sneer as he threw his sword down, which cut into the ground and stood by its own.

Linghu Chong noticed that the blade of the sword was wide and broad – it was the type of sword used by the Songshan Sword School. So he asked,

"Which respectful member of the Songshan Sword School are you?"

"You surely have sharp eyes. I am Di Xiu from Songshan Sword School," the man answered.

"So it"s apprentice brother Di. We haven"t had much chance to get to know each other. What respectful business are you tending here on Mount Huashan?" Linghu Chong asked.

"Head Uncle-Master[2] gave me the order to come to Mount Huashan and go on a trip of inspection to check if apprentices of the Huashan Sword School are really having bad conducts as the rumor says. Hha, I didn"t expect to hear you speak straight from the heart about making friends with that evil rapist, right after I climb up Mount Huashan. I didn"t see that coming at all!" Di Xiu answered.

"You G.o.d d.a.m.ned punk, you think your Songshan Sword School is any better? Why don"t you go check on your own ill behavior before poking your nose into other people"s business?" Tian Boguang cursed.

Di Xiu raised his foot and threw a heavy kick at Tian Boguang"s head. "Humph, your end is imminent and you still won"t shut your dirty mouth?" he yelled. But Tian Boguang kept pouring out streams of abuses non-stop. It would have been a walkover if Di Xiu had wanted to kill Tian Boguang, but he decided to give Linghu Chong a good amount of humiliation first.

"Linghu Chong," he sneered, "since the two of you find each other"s stinks congenial, I suppose you"ve made up your mind not to kill him?"

Linghu Chong was furious. He yelled loudly, "Whether I kill him or not, it"s none of your business. Give me the deathblow if you"ve got any guts. If you have no guts, then get your tail between your legs and get your a.s.s off Mount Huashan."

"So you are sure you won"t kill him, and would rather consider that evil rapist your good friend?" Di Xiu asked.

"No matter who I have as my friend, it beats having you as a friend," Linghu Chong answered.

"Right on! Way to go!" Tian Boguang cheered loudly.

"You just want to enrage me and provoke me into killing the two of you with a single blow. It"s not going to be that easy. I am going to strip off your clothes and tie you two together naked. Then I"ll seal your Mute Point[3] and put on a tour of display around the Martial World. I"ll tell everyone that I caught a macho guy and a sissy boy right when they were doing their illicit dirty stuff. Hha, your Master Yue Buqun of the Huashan Sword School always pretends benevolence and righteousness, and puts on a face of a Confucian moralist to fool people. After today, would he still dare to call himself "Gentleman Sword"?"

These words made Linghu Chong"s anger explode, which knocked him out cold.

"Go to h.e.l.l you…." Tian Boguang cursed, but his voice halted abruptly when Di Xiu sealed his pressure point around his waist with a swift kick.

With an evil grin on his face, Di Xiu reached out to start untying Linghu Chong"s robe. Suddenly, a soft and brisk female voice rose behind his back.

"h.e.l.lo, big brother, what are you doing here?"

In great surprise, Di Xiu turned his head around for a glance. In the dim light he could vaguely make out the shape of a woman. So he responded, "What are you doing here?"

Tian Boguang immediately recognized the girl"s voice. It was none other than Yilin"s voice. With a tremendous amount of joy, he shouted.

"Little…little Sister, it"s you! That"s wonderful. This G.o.d d.a.m.ned rat wants to…wants to kill your big brother Linghu."

He was going to say, "This G.o.d d.a.m.ned rat wants to kill me." But then a quick thought came upon him: Yilin wouldn"t care about the "me" much at all. So he quickly changed that to "your big brother Linghu."

Hearing that the man lying on the ground was actually Linghu Chong, Yilin was greatly worried. Wasting no time, she leapt forward and called out, "Big brother Linghu, is that you?"

Noticing how preoccupied Yilin was and how she put on no guard against him, Di Xiu bent his arm slightly and jabbed toward her pressure point under her rib cage with his index finger. His finger was just about to touch her clothes when suddenly his back collar tightened up as someone lifted him several feet off the ground. Terrified, Di Xiu elbowed back with his right arm, but it hit nothing. He immediately followed with a back kick using his left foot, but it hit nothing either. Horrified, he grabbed back with his hands when a huge hand came to his throat with a tight grip. Instantly, he could hardly breathe and lost all his strength to struggle.

By the time Linghu Chong slowly regained his consciousness, the first thing he noticed was a girl"s worried voice calling out, "Big brother Linghu! Big brother Linghu!" It sounded vaguely like the voice of Yilin. He opened his eyes, and sure enough, under the dim starlight, the pretty white face right in front of his eyes was no other than Yilin"s.

A thundering voice suddenly exploded, "Lin"er,[4] is this cripple the Linghu Chong you have mentioned?"

Linghu Chong looked up toward the origin of the voice, and what he saw shocked him. A chubby and enormous giant monk stood there, more like an iron tower than a human. The monk was at least seven feet tall. He extended his left arm out horizontally and lifted Di Xiu off the ground. Di Xiu"s arms hang still by his side. It was hard to tell if he was still breathing or not.

"Dad, he…he is big brother Linghu. But he is not a cripple," Yilin said. She never took her eyes off Linghu Chong when she spoke and her eyes were filled with care, concern, and affection. It almost looked as if she really wanted to reach out to caress Linghu Chong"s face but was afraid to do it.

Linghu Chong was astounded. He couldn"t help but think to himself, "You are a little nun. How come you are calling this giant monk Dad? A monk having a daughter is already shocking, now when his daughter is actually a nun is simply appalling!"

The giant monk let out some more thunder-like laughter. "You yearned for this Linghu Chong days and nights. I thought he must be a bulky and heroic looking guy. It turned out he"s just a tiny loser who couldn"t even fight back when bullied and had to pretend to be dead on the ground. What a cripple! I"d never want him as my son-in-law. Forget about him. Let"s go."

"Who said I yearned for him days and nights?" Yilin rebuked him in great embarra.s.sment. "You…you always like to talk nonsense. If you want to go, you can go by yourself. You don"t want…want…." She simply couldn"t repeat the words "don"t want him as son-in-law."

Hearing that this monk had referred to him again and again as a "cripple" and a "loser," Linghu Chong became furious. "Go as you wish! Who asked you to stay?" he scorned.

"You can"t go! You can"t go!" Tian Boguang shouted in worry.

"Why can"t he go?" Linghu Chong asked.

"I need him to release my Death Points. I also need his antidotes for the strong poison planted in me. If he leaves, I am dead and gone!" Tian Boguang said.

"Are you afraid now? I said that I"d die together with you, didn"t I. Once your poison activates, I"ll just cut my own throat to go along with you."

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The giant monk chortled and the thundering sound echoed in the valley.

"Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! So this lad actually has some backbone. Lin"er, he is certainly to my liking. But there"s one more thing I have to get a clear answer. Does he drink wine or not?"

Before Yilin even had a chance to answer, Linghu Chong had already yelled out. "I certainly do. Why not? Your old man here drinks in the mornings, in the evenings, and even in my dreams. Once you get to see how addicted I am, I a.s.sure you that you"ll tremble with rage because you are a d.a.m.n monk whose commandments prohibit you from eating flesh, drinking wine, killing people, saying lies, and blah, blah, blah!"

"Lin"er, you tell him. What"s your dad"s name for the Buddhist"s order?"[5] The giant monk broke into a loud laughter.

"Big brother Linghu, my dad"s name in the Buddhist"s order is called "No Commandment"," Yilin explained with a smile. "He is a member of the Buddhist order, but he doesn"t follow any of the regulations, taboos, and commandments for Buddhists, that"s why his name in the Buddhist"s order is called "No Commandment." Now, please don"t laugh at this. He drinks wine, eats flesh, kills people, steals money, and even…even gave…gave birth to me." At that final word, she could no longer hold her amus.e.m.e.nt and broke into giggles.

"Hey, I am very delighted…delighted to meet monks of this type!" Linghu Chong burst into loud laughter. He struggled to stand up, but was short of enough strength. Yilin rushed to prod him up.

"Uncle," Linghu Chong said with a smile, "since you are open to all kinds of things, why don"t you simply resume secular life? There"s no need to put yourself in this Buddhist robe."

"Aha, there"s something you don"t know. Because I am open to all things, that"s how I decided to become a monk. I fell in love with a beautiful nun just like you…." Monk No Commandment explained.

"Dad, you are talking nonsense without thinking again," Yilin cut him off. Her face was completely red from a blush; fortunately, it was dark at night, so no one noticed it.

"A true man is always open and aboveboard. I did it, and I admit it, regardless of how others laugh at me or condemn me. Monk No Commandment is a true man that speaks the truth! What"s there to be afraid of?" Monk No Commandment replied.

"Precisely!" Linghu Chong and Tian Boguang cheered in unison.

Hearing the agreements, Monk No Commandment was quite pleased, so he continued, "The beautiful nun that I fell in love with was, of course, her mother."

"Turned out that little apprentice sister Yilin"s dad is a monk and her mother is a nun," Linghu Chong thought to himself amusedly.

Monk No Commandment went on, "I was a butcher at that time and fell in love with her mother, but her mother paid no attention to me. I was at my wit"s end and had no other choice but to join the Buddhist"s order. I thought that since nuns and monks are all members of the Buddhist"s order, like a big family, then when a nun doesn"t love a butcher, maybe she would love a monk."

"Dad, when are you going to watch your mouth before you speak? You are already a grown up, but you still talk like a child," Yilin said with a spat.

"Did I speak the untruth? But at the time I didn"t realize that once one becomes a monk, he can no longer go out with any woman, not even nuns, and it was actually more difficult for me to date her mom, so I didn"t want to be a monk no more. But my teacher insisted that I had some kind of trait perfect for a member of the Buddhist order, so he refused to let me resume secular life. Her mother somehow got muddleheaded and was deeply moved by my true love, and soon this little nun came to this world. Chong, it"s much easier for you now. You don"t have to join the Buddhist"s order and become a monk to date my little nun daughter."

Linghu Chong was greatly embarra.s.sed. He thought to himself, "When apprentice sister Yilin was taken prisoner by Tian Boguang, I put in my effort following the righteous course. She is a nun from the Heng-Shan Sword School who believes in Buddhism. How can she get involved into love relationship with any secular man? It was probably only because she met men close to her age the first time and lost control of herself temporarily that she sent Tian Boguang and Peach Valley"s Six Fairies to invite me over. I must avoid her as soon as possible. If the reputation of the Huashan Sword School and the Heng-Shan Sword School were damaged in any way because of me, even if I died, Master and Master-Wife would still condemn me, and little apprentice sister Lingshan would still look down upon me."

Yilin looked very bashful. "Dad, big brother Linghu already…already has the person of his heart. He would never pay attention to others. You…you…you"d better never mention that again. You would only get laughed at."

"This chap has another lover? This is p.i.s.sing me off!" Monk No Commandment yelled angrily. He reached forward with his right arm. The huge palm, almost as big as a cattail leaf fan, shot at Linghu Chong"s chest. Linghu Chong couldn"t even keep his balance let along dodge the attack. The hand got a good grip of Linghu Chong"s robe and lifted him off the ground.

With his left hand grabbing at Di Xiu"s back collar and his right hand grabbing at Linghu Chong"s chest, Monk No Commandment extended both of his arms out flat and looked as if he was carrying the two with a shoulder pole. Linghu Chong didn"t have much strength to start with, now in the mid air, he hanged there like a ragged bag.

"Dad, put big brother Linghu down immediately! If you don"t put him down, I am gonna be angry now," Yilin shouted in a hurry.

As soon as Monk No Commandment heard the word "angry" from his daughter, he dropped Linghu Chong in no time, looking very afraid. "Which beautiful little nun did he set his eyes on? This is outrageous!" he babbled. Since he had fallen in love with a beautiful nun, he felt that other than beautiful nuns, there wasn"t anyone else who deserved to be loved.

"The person of big brother Linghu"s heart is his apprentice sister Miss Yue," Yilin explained.

Monk No Commandment let out a loud roar, which created an uncomfortable buzz in everyone"s ears. "Who"s this girl named Yue?" he yelled. "d.a.m.n it! If she isn"t a beautiful little nun, what"s so lovely about her? I"ll break the d.a.m.n girl"s little neck as soon as I see her!"

Linghu Chong thought aloud, "This Monk No Commandment is a crude and reckless man, and he is similar to the Peach Valley"s Six Fairies in a sense. Seems that he will live up to his words. What if he really harms the little apprentice sister?"

"Dad, big brother Linghu is severely wounded. Please hurry to heal his wounds. There"s plenty of time to talk over other things later," Yilin suggested, feeling greatly worried.

Monk No Commandment always acted upon whatever his daughter said. "That"s fine. Let"s heal his wounds. What"s so difficult about that?" he said. He tossed Di Xiu behind his back with a random wave and then asked Linghu Chong loudly, "How were you wounded?" Cries of pain continued as Di Xiu rolled down the small hill.

"I took a palm strike from someone on my chest. But that wasn"t critical…." Linghu Chong replied.

"Palm strike on the chest? He must have shaken your Ren Pa.s.sage pretty good…." Monk No Commandment concluded.

"The Peach Valley…." Linghu Chong tried to explain.

"There"s no whatever Peach Valley in the Ren Pa.s.sage," Monk No Commandment cut him off. "Your Huashan School"s inner energy is no good, no wonder you don"t understand. Sure, there"s one called Combined Valley Point among the various human pressure points, but that belongs to the Hand-To-Intestine Yang-Ming Channel and is positioned right between thumb and index finger. It has nothing to do with the Ren Pa.s.sage. Very well, let me heal your wound in the Ren Pa.s.sage."

"No, no! The Peach Valley"s Six…." Linghu Chong said in a hurry.

"What Peach Valley Six, Peach Valley Seven?" Monk No Commandment waved him off. "Among the various pressure points, there"re Hand-Three-Li, Foot-Three-Li, Yin-Ling-Quan, and Si-Kong-Zhu. Where did Peach Valley Six or Peach Valley Seven come from? Now shut up and stop the nonsense." At that word, he swung his hand and sealed Linghu Chong"s Mute Point.

"I"ll send my supreme inner energy into your Ren Pa.s.sage through the Cheng-Jiang, Tian-Tu, Tan-Zhong, Jiu-Wei, Ju-Yue, Zhong-Wan, Qi-Hai, Shi-Men, Guan-Yuan, and Zhong-Ji points. Your wound will heal as soon as my energy flows through. I bet that after seven or eight days, you"ll be back to normal, as cool as a cuc.u.mber," Monk No Commandment said as he reached out with the two fan-sized hands.

He placed his right hand on the Cheng-Jiang Point by Linghu Chong"s chin, and his left hand on the Zhong-Ji Point by Linghu Chong"s lower abdomen, and then started sending two streams of inner energy in through the two pressure points. All of a sudden, he felt a tremendous shock from his hands as the two streams of energy clashed with the six energy streams left by the Peach Valley"s Six Fairies. Astounded, he uttered a cry of surprise.

"Dad, how did it go?" Yilin asked in a hurry.

"There are several bizarre energy streams in his body," Monk No Commandment responded. "One, two, three, four. There are a total of four…wait…there"s one more. That"s a total of five energy streams. These five energy streams…Aha, another one came out. What the h.e.l.l, six streams of energy! Fine! Let"s see who"s tougher? Your G.o.d d.a.m.ned six energy streams or my two streams of energy? Maybe there"s even more. Hha, kind of crowded, huh? This is so much fun! Come on, come and get me. Humph, no more, right? There are only six. Did you think I, Monk No Commandment, would be afraid of you puny rascals?" He pressed hard on the two pressure points of Linghu Chong"s, and white steam began to come out from the top of his head. At the beginning, he was still able to call out, but soon, as he worked hard to gather more and more inner energy, he had no strength left to make any sound. By then, it was almost time for daybreak, and it was getting brighter and brighter. The white steam on top of his head became thicker and thicker as if a heavy mist had completely surrounded his giant head.

After a long while, he finally drew his hands back and burst into loud laughter. Suddenly, the laughter halted abruptly, and with a heavy thump, Monk No Commandment collapsed down to the ground.

In great astonishment, Yilin cried out, "Dad, Dad!" She dashed by his side to help him up. But Monk No Commandment was simply too heavy, only half way up, the two fell back down to the ground again.

Monk No Commandment" clothes were soaked with sweat. Panting heavily, he still cursed in a trembling voice, "G.o.d…G.o.d…G.o.d d.a.m.ned…G.o.d…G.o.d…G.o.d d.a.m.ned…."

Hearing the curses from him, Yilin relaxed a little. "Dad, what"s wrong? Are you exhausted?" she asked.

"d.a.m.n it!" Monk No Commandment cussed, "There are six streams of tough energy inside the lad"s body, and they wanted to have a fight…fight with me. d.a.m.n it! After I gathered up my inner energy, I have already overpowered those six streams of weird energy. Hmm, you can relax now. This lad won"t die."

Yilin felt great comfort. She turned around to look, and sure enough, saw Linghu Chong stand up slowly.

"Hey, the monk"s inner energy is pretty tough indeed. It only took him minutes to heal brother Linghu"s severe wounds," Tian Boguang praised with a smile.

Monk No Commandment was quite pleased to hear the praise. He replied, "You have committed countless crimes. I was thinking of killing you with a simple squeeze, but since you did find the lad Linghu Chong and do deserve a little bit of credit, I am going to spare your life. Now get your a.s.s out of here."

Tian Boguang was furious. He cursed, "What the devil are you talking about, you G.o.d d.a.m.ned monk? What kind of garbage is that? You said that if I found Linghu Chong for you within one month, you would release my sealed Death Points and give me the antidote to the poison. Are you going back on your words? If you don"t release my points and give me the antidote, then you are no better than a filthy pig, you G.o.d d.a.m.ned monk."

These vicious curses didn"t anger Monk No Commandment at all. He grinned. "Look at this stinking chap. Look at the coward look on him, afraid that I, Monk No Commandment would go back on my words and not give him the antidote. You dirty skunk, here"s the antidote."

He reached into his pocket for the antidote, but because of the great strength he had just spent on Linghu Chong, his hand couldn"t help but tremble. The china bottle fell out of his hand multiple times. Yilin reached over and picked up the bottle, then opened the lid.

"Give him three pills. Take the first pill, and then wait three days before taking another one. After that, wait another six days before taking the third one. But if you get killed during the nine days, don"t you blame it on me," Monk No Commandment said.

"Hey monk, you forced me to take poison and now gave me the antidote. I am already being nice by not cursing you. Don"t expect me to thank you for that. How about my sealed Death Points?" Tian Boguang asked as he took the antidote from Yilin"s hands.

"Those pressure points I sealed had released automatically after seven days. If I had really sealed your Death Point, do you think you would still be standing here alive today?" Monk No Commandment laughed out loud.

Tian Boguang had sensed that those pressure points were already released earlier. Now hearing these words from Monk No Commandment, he finally relaxed.

"G.o.d d.a.m.n it! You lying monk!" he swore with a big smile.

Turning his head to Linghu Chong, he said, "Brother Linghu, I know you must have things to talk to the little Sister. Farewell for now. If all goes well, we"ll meet again someday!" He cupped his hand before turning around to follow the main path down the mountain.

"Please wait, brother Tian," Linghu Chong called out.

"Why?" Tian Boguang asked.

"Brother Tian," Linghu Chong said, "thanks for showing me mercy during those several fights. I will make you a friend, but there"s one advice I"d like to give you. If you don"t listen to me, our friendship won"t last long."

"I know what you mean," Tian Boguang grinned. "You want me to stop the kind of trash like raping and stuff. Fine, I"ll listen to your advice. There are plenty of s.l.u.ts and wh.o.r.es around. Although I am fond of women, I don"t have to prey on innocent girls or get them killed. Hha, brother Linghu, wasn"t it a fantastic scene at the Hengshan Jade House?"

Hearing him mention of the Hengshan Jade House, Linghu Chong and Yilin both flushed. Laughing out loud, Tian Boguang walked away, but after only a couple of steps, his knee gave out all of a sudden. Falling on the ground heavily, he found himself rolling down a small slope. Finally the rolling came to a halt and Tian Boguang managed to sit up after some struggle. Taking out one antidote pill, he swallowed it down his throat, and instantly, severe stomachache consumed him. He sat on the ground and had no extra strength left to even move a muscle. Knowing that this was a normal process to neutralize the kind of strong poison he had, he did not panic at all and just waited patiently for the antidote to take its course.

Earlier when Monk No Commandment pumped the two streams of forceful inner energy into Linghu Chong"s body, which effectively repressed the six energy streams from the Peach Valley"s Six Fairies, Linghu Chong felt so much better. All the nausea seemed to have gone away and he could feel that he was regaining some of this strength from his legs. Welled with joy, he walked forward and bowed to Monk No Commandment with deep respect.

"Great Master,[6] thank you for saving my life! I am truly grateful!"

"No need to thank me! Hha, we are a big family now. You are my son-in-law and I am your father-in-law. What"s there to thank for?" Monk No Commandment let out a big grin.

"Dad, you…you are talking nonsense again." Yilin"s face turned completely red.

"Why? Why is that nonsense? You yearned for him days and nights. Don"t you want to marry him? Even if you can"t marry him, don"t you want to make a pretty baby little nun with him?" Monk No Commandment asked in surprise.

"You…you…who wanted…who…?" Yilin spitted in embarra.s.sment.

Sound of footsteps came from the mountain path, and moments later two people showed up. It was Yue Buqun and his daughter Yue Lingshan.

Struck by surprise and joy at the same time, Linghu Chong greeted in a hurry. "Master, little apprentice sister, you are back! Where"s Master-Wife?" he called out.

Noticing that Linghu Chong was much fitter and looked nothing close to the weak look when he had the last gasp the day before, Yue Buqun felt quite happy, but it was not time to ask him yet. Instead, he cupped his hands toward Monk No Commandment.

"May I be enlightened to hear your respectful name, Great Master? What brought you to our shabby residence?" he asked.

"My name is Monk No Commandment. I came to your shabby residence to look for my son-in-law," Monk No Commandment replied and pointed at Linghu Chong. He came from being a butcher and didn"t know the kind of polite formula scholars would exchange at greetings. Since Yue Buqun said "shabby residence," he simply copied it.

Yue Buqun had no clue as who this monk was. When he heard the monk say, "I came to look for my son-in-law," he thought that the monk was actually spitting out insults intentionally. Although angered, he kept a calm face and only replied, "Great Master, you must be joking." Seeing that Yilin came forward to salute him, he inquired, "Nephew apprentice Yilin, did your Master send you here to Mount Huashan?"

Yilin flushed slightly as she replied, "No. I…I…"

Yue Buqun paid no more attention to Yilin and turned to Tian Boguang.

"Humph! Tian Boguang, you sure have a lot of guts!"

"I get along with your apprentice Linghu Chong, so I carried two jars of wine up Mount Huashan for a good drink with him. That doesn"t take a lot of guts," Tian Boguang replied.

"Where"s the wine then?" Yue Buqun"s face turned sterner.

"We finished it on top of the "Cliff of Contemplation" a long time ago."

Yue Buqun turned to Linghu Chong. "Is that true?" he asked.

"Master," Linghu Chong answered, "that was a long story. Please allow me to explain in details."

"How long has Tian Boguang been on Mount Huashan?"

"About half a month."

"During the half a month, was he on Mount Huashan all the time?"

"Yes."

"Why didn"t you report to me?" Yue Buqun asked in a stern voice.

"Master and Master-Wife weren"t here at the time," Linghu Chong answered.

"Where were we then?"

"You were in Chang-An Town chasing Mister Tian."

Yue Buqun let out a snort. "Mister Tian? Humph, Mister Tian! You knew he committed countless of cruel crimes; why didn"t you slay him with your sword? Even if you couldn"t beat him, you should have died fighting him, why did you make friends with him in fear for your life?"

"I didn"t want to kill him. What could he do? Kill himself with his own sword because he couldn"t beat me in a fight?" Tian Boguang interrupted. Still not able to stand up, he remained sitting on the ground.

"What makes you think you are allowed to talk in front of me?" Yue Buqun retorted. He said to Linghu Chong, "Go kill him!"

"Father, big apprentice brother has severe wounds. He shouldn"t fight anyone!" Yue Lingshan couldn"t help but interrupt.

"Wasn"t that evil rapist seriously wounded, just as well? What are you worrying about? I am here. Do you think I will allow that villain to injure my apprentice?" Yue Buqun said.

Yue Buqun knew that Linghu Chong was cunning and crafty, and hated evil as if it were his personal enemy. In addition, Tian Boguang had wounded him just recently, so for sure, he would not make true friends with that evil rapist. Perhaps he resorted to a battle of wits after failing the batter of strength. At the moment, Tian Boguang had been seriously wounded, and probably that would have attributed to Linghu Chong"s effort, already. That was why when he heard that Linghu Chong had made friends with the evil rapist, he wasn"t angry for real, and only ordered Linghu Chong to kill the villain. That would not only rid the people of a scourge, but also make a name for a young apprentice. Yue Buqun was sure that at Tian Boguang"s current state, even if he could still fight Linghu Chong to a tie, he would stand no chance against even a slight snap attack from Yue himself. But to his surprise, Linghu Chong replied,

"Master, this brother Tian has promised me that he will sincerely mend his ways starting from now on and never harm any innocent woman. I know that he is a man of his word, why don"t we…?"

"What…what makes you believe that he is a man of his word? How can one discuss word of honor with such a villain who has committed crimes for which even death cannot atone? How many innocent lives have perished under his murderous knife? What good is it that we martial people practice martial arts if we don"t slay this type of evil? Lingshan, hand your sword over to your big apprentice brother," Yue Buqun yelled, in a stern voice.

"Yes!" Yue Lingshan replied. She unsheathed her sword and handed the sword to Linghu Chong, handle first.

Linghu Chong found himself in a very awkward situation. He never dared to go against his Master"s orders, but earlier on the verge of death, he had already shaken hands with Tian Boguang and made friends with him. In addition, Tian Boguang had promised to correct his errors and make a fresh start. Although Tian Boguang committed countless crimes before, he was one who would truly keep his words. If Linghu Chong killed him now, it wouldn"t feel right. He took the sword from Yue Lingshan and started stumbling toward Tian Boguang. After a dozen steps or so, he pretended that his legs were too weak because of the several wounds of his. Bending his left knee all of a sudden, he threw himself to the ground, and with a thud, the long sword in his hand penetrated his left shin.

No one had expected that to happen, and all cried out in shock. Yilin and Yue Lingshan both dashed toward him, but Yilin halted only after her first step, thinking to herself that how could she, a member of the Buddhist order, show her care and affection to a young man in public.

"Big apprentice brother, are you alright?" Yue Lingshan rushed by Linghu Chong and cried out.

Linghu Chong did not answer, his eyes shut tight.

Yue Lingshan grabbed hold of the sword handle and gave it a pull. The sword came out as blood gushed out from the wound like a spring. She hurriedly took out some medication of the Huashan School and applied them onto Linghu Chong"s wound on his leg. When she looked up by chance, she suddenly noticed the worried pale face of Yilin that was covered by care and concern. Yue Lingshan felt a thump in her heart as she thought aloud, "This little nun surely cares for big apprentice brother very much!"

"Dad, let me slay that evil villain." Yue Lingshan stood up with her sword in hand.

"If you kill that villain, you would stain your reputation for nothing. Give the sword to me!" Yue Buqun directed.

Tian Boguang was such an infamous rapist that his name was well known by many. Yue Buqun worried that when the news spread out later that Miss Yue had killed Tian Boguang, it was destined that some rascals would cook up many stories about how there was an attempted ****, so on and so forth.

Hearing her father"s words, Yue Lingshan handed the sword over, but Yue Buqun did not take the sword, instead, he flicked his right sleeve, which wrapped the sword inside.

"No!" Monk No Commandment shouted when he saw the scene. He quickly took off his two shoes and held them in his hands. Yue Buqun swung his arm with a chop stance; the long sword shot toward Tian Boguang, who was in a distance of a hundred feet or so, like a missile. That was well expected by Monk No Commandment. He threw hard with both of his arms; the two shoes also shot out in great speed. The sword was heavy and the shoes were light, plus that the sword was thrown before the two shoes, but somehow the two shoes were able to fly in front of the sword in an arch and circled back. Each shoe hooked onto one side of the sword handle and actually was able to send the long sword back toward where it was thrown. The sword flew a couple dozens of feet back and then finally lost its momentum and fell to the ground. The sword tip penetrated the soil and kept the sword standing. The two shoes were still hooked on the handle and swayed back and forth.

"That was terrible! Terrible!" Monk No Commandment shouted. "Lin"er, your daddy spent too much inner energy on the son-in-law"s internal wounds today. That"s why the sword fell only half way through. It should have flown to only two feet from the son-in-law"s Master and give him a good scare. Alas, your daddy monk has really lost face this time. This is so embarra.s.sing!"

Throwing a glance at Yue Buqun"s unhappy face, Yilin whispered, "Dad, enough." She hurried forward and removed the two shoes off the sword handle. Pulling the sword off the ground, she hesitated. She knew that Linghu Chong didn"t want to kill Tian Boguang. If she had given the sword back to Yue Lingshan, and she went to kill Tian Boguang again, wouldn"t that break Linghu Chong"s heart?

When Yue Buqun swung his arm and shot out the long sword with his sleeve, he thought that for sure the sword would cut through Tian Boguang"s heart. Who had expected that Monk No Commandment was actually able to put so much strength onto his two shoes with such a clever maneuver? This monk kept yelling out loud, referring himself as the little nun"s father and calling Linghu Chong his son-in-law, full of nonsense. Obviously he was just a mad monk, but his Kung Fu skills are indeed outstanding. Didn"t he say that he just spent a good amount of his inner energy to heal Linghu Chong"s internal wounds? If it hadn"t been so, wouldn"t he be even more exceptional? Although he didn"t use the Divine Art of Violet Twilight when he flicked with his sleeve, and he was sure he wouldn"t lose to the monk if he had actually used it, still, it wouldn"t be appropriate for a renowned master to strike again once the first strike had missed. So he cupped his hand and said, "Very admirable! Great Master, since you are determined to take this villain under your wings, it would be inappropriate for me to intervene today. What do you think?"

Hearing him say that he wouldn"t kill Tian Boguang today, Yilin held the long sword in both hands and walked in front of Yue Lingshan. Bowing slightly, she said, "Sister, you…."

Yue Lingshan snorted as she grabbed hold of the sword handle. Without even looking, she returned the sword back to its sheath. The shove appeared to be neat and swift.

Monk No Commandment chortled. "Miss, that was a handsome trick!" He turned to Linghu Chong and said, "My little son-in-law, let"s go. Your apprentice sister is very pretty. I"d be nervous to leave you and her together."

"Great Master, I know you like to kid around. But remarks like that would damage the reputation of both the Heng-Shan and the Huashan sword schools. Will you please stop that?" Linghu Chong demanded.

"What? When we finally found you and saved your life after so much trouble, now you don"t want to marry my daughter?" Monk No Commandment was astonished.

Linghu Chong put on a solemn face. "Linghu Chong dares not ever forget the kindness Great Master has shown by saving my life. Apprentice sister Yilin"s Heng-Shen Sword School has very strict school rules. If you keep making such meaningless jokes, it wouldn"t look good for the two senior sisters Ding Xian and Ding Yi."

"Lin"er, what…what…what"s up with this son-in-law? I…I don"t get it!" Monk No Commandment scratched his head hard.

Yilin covered her face with both hands and cried, "Dad, enough! Enough! He does his things and I do my own. Why…why…why mix us together?" Tears burst out from her eyes as she dashed down the mountain path.

Monk No Commandment was even more confused. He dazed for a moment and then muttered, "This is so strange! Before seeing him, she would give up everything to see him, but once she sees him, she didn"t want to see him anymore. She is just like her mother. It"s simply impossible to understand what a little nun might be thinking." Seeing that his daughter was getting further and further, he chased after her.

Tian Boguang managed to stand up after some struggle. "The green mountain will always be green and the blue river will continue to flow. I"ll see you around," he said to Linghu Chong and then turned around and stumbled his way down the mountain path.

Yue Buqun waited till Tian Boguang had gone far before speaking to Linghu Chong again, "Chong, you are treating that evil villain well. You would rather stab yourself than kill him."

Linghu Chong"s face showed some shame. He knew that Master had seen through his act with his sharp eyes. He lowered his head.

"Master, he did have many bad conducts, but he has promised to mend his ways and do good. He has shown mercy and spared my life multiple times when he had me in his hands."

"Talking morality with such a brutal and cold-blooded skunk, sooner or later, you will have to pay for it," Yue Buqun sneered. He had always favored this Head Apprentice of his. Seeing that he had survived such severe wounds had already brought him great joy. When Linghu Chong pretended to fall and stabbed himself in the leg, he knew very well that it was an act, but he also knew too well that Linghu Chong had always been crafty since he was only a child, so he decided not to investigate further. Besides, Linghu Chong"s words to Monk No Commandment were very effective and appropriate, just the way he wanted it, therefore, he chose to set the case of Tian Boguang aside temporarily.

"Where"s the booklet?" Yue Buqun stuck out his hand.