Her reverie was broken in upon. With quick footsteps, quick footsteps which echoed on the empty stage, Aubrey Flood came up to her. He was wearing a heavy fur coat, the collar and cuffs of Persian lamb. His hat was of grey felt--a hard hat--for he had a little farm down at Pinner, where he went for week-ends, and affected something of the country gentleman in his dress.
Mary was glad to see him at last, not only because she had been waiting for him to discuss business matters, but because a friendly face at this moment cut into her rather weary and dreamy mood, and brought her back to the life of the moment and the movement of the day.
"Oh, here you are!" she said gladly. "I"ve been waiting quite a long time, and I"ve been in the blues, rather. The empty theatre, when one is the only person in it, suggests horrible possibilities for the future, don"t you think?"
He answered her quickly. "No, I don"t think anything of the sort. Mary, you are getting into that silly nervous state which comes to so many girls before the first night, the first important night, I mean. You must not do it, I won"t allow it, I won"t let you. You"re overstrained, of course. We"re all very much over-strained. So much depends upon the play. But, all the same, we all know that everything is sure and certain. So cheer up, Mary."
Flood had called her by her Christian name for two weeks now. The two had become friends. The celebrated young actor-manager and the unknown provincial actress had realised each other in the kindliest fashion. The girl had never met a cleverer, more artistic, nor more chivalrous man in the ranks of her profession, and Flood himself, a decent, clean-living citizen of London, had not grasped hands with a girl like Mary for many months.
Mary Marriott sighed. "Oh," she said, "it"s all very well for you to talk in that way. But you know, Mr. Flood, how all of you have poured the whole thing on to me, as it were. You have insisted that I am the pivot of it all, and there are moments when it is too overwhelming and one gets tired and dispirited."
"Don"t talk nonsense," he answered quickly.
"All right, then, I won"t," she replied. "Now let"s go into the question of that business in the second act. My idea is, that Lord Winchester should----"
He cut her short with a single exclamation. "That"s a thing we can talk over later," he said. "At the moment I have something more important to say."
Mary stopped. Flood"s voice was very earnest and urgent. She felt that he had discovered some flaw in the conduct of the rehearsals, that some very serious. .h.i.tch had occurred.
Her voice was anxious as she said that they had better discuss the thing immediately. "I hope that it"s nothing very serious," she said, alarmed by the disturbance in his voice. "I am going to lunch with the Roses, and as you"re late I ought to be off in a few minutes. But what"s gone wrong?"
"As yet," he replied, "nothing has gone wrong at all."
"I hope nothing will," she said, by now quite alarmed by his tone.
"Please tell me at once."
"I can"t tell you here," he replied. "Would you mind coming into my room?"
She followed him, wondering.
They went into Flood"s private room. It faced west, and the winter sun being now high in the heavens did not penetrate there at this hour. The fire was nearly out, only a few cinders glowed with their dull black and crimson on the hearth.
"How cheerless!" Mary said as she came into the room.
With a quick movement Aubrey Flood turned to the wall. There was a succession of little clicking noises, and then the electric light leaped up and the place was full of a dusky yellow radiance.
"That"s better," he said in a curiously m.u.f.fled voice, "though it"s not right. Somehow I know it"s not right. No, I am sure that it"s not right!"
His voice rang with pain. His voice was full of melancholy and pain as he looked at her. Never, in all his stage triumphs in the mimic life he could portray so skilfully and well, had his mobile, sensitive voice achieved such a note of pain as now.
Suddenly Mary knew.
"What do you mean, Mr. Flood?" she said faintly.
He turned swiftly to her, his voice had a note of pa.s.sion also now. His eyes shone, his mobile lips trembled a little--they seemed parched and dry.
"Mary," he said, "I love you as I have never loved any one in the world before, and I am frightened because I see no answering light in your eyes, they do not change when you see me."
He paused for a moment, and then with a swift movement he caught her by the hands, drew her a little closer to him, and gazed steadily into her face. His own was quite changed. She had never seen him like this before. It was as if for the first time a mask had been suddenly peeled away and the real man beneath revealed. He had made love to Mary during rehearsals, he was her lover in the play of James Fabian Rose--but this was quite different.
He spoke simply without rhetoric or bombast. He was a man now, no longer an actor.
"Oh, my dear!" he said, "I have no words to tell you how I love and reverence you. I am not playing a part now, I"m not a puppet mouthing the words of another man any longer, and I can"t find expression. I can only say that my whole heart and soul are consumed by one wish, one hope. It is you! Ever since I first met you at Rose"s house I have watched you with growing wonder and growing love. Now I can keep silence no longer. Dear, do you care for me a little? Can you ever care for me?
I am not worthy of one kind look from your beautiful eyes, I know that well. But I am telling you the truth when I say that I have not been a beast as so many men in the profession are. You know how things sometimes are with actors, every one knows. Well, I"ve not been like that, Mary; I"ve kept straight, I can offer you a clean and honest love, and though such things would never weigh with you, I am well-to-do. My position on the stage, you know. I am justified in calling it a fairly leading one, am I not? We should have all the community of tastes and interests that two people could possibly have. We love the same art. My dear, dear girl, my beautiful and radiant lady, will you marry me? Will you make me happiest of living men?"
His urgent, pleading voice dropped and died away. He held her hands still. His face shone with an earnestness and anxiety that were almost tragic.
Mary was deeply moved and stirred. No man had ever spoken to her like this before. Her life had been apart from anything of the kind. All her adult years had been spent upon the stage and touring about from one place to another in the provinces. She had always lived with another girl in the company, and had always enjoyed the pleasant, easy bohemian _camaraderie_ with men that the touring life engenders. Men had flirted with her, of course. There had been sighs and longings, equally, of course, and now and then, though rarely, she had endured the vile persecution of some human beast in authority, a manager, or what not.
But never had she heard words like these before, had seen an honourable and distinguished gentleman consumed with love of her and offering her himself and all he had, asking her to be his wife. He was saying it once more: "Mary, will you be my wife?"
She trembled as she heard the words, trembled all over as a leaf in the wind. It was as though she had never heard it before, it came like a chord of sweet music.
In that moment dormant forces within her awoke, things long hidden from herself began to move and stir in her heart. A curtain seemed to roll up within her consciousness, and she knew the truth. She knew that it was for this that she had come into the world, that the holy sacrament of marriage was her destined lot.
Yet, though it was the pa.s.sionate pleading of the man before her which had worked this change and revealed things long hidden, it was not to him that her heart went out. She thought of no one, no vision rose in her mind. She only knew that this was not the man who should strike upon the deep chords of her being and wake from them the supreme harmonies of love.
She was immensely touched, immensely flattered, full of a sisterly tenderness towards him. Affection welled up in her. She wanted to kiss him, to stroke his hair, to say how sorry she was for him. She had never had a brother, she would like a brother just like this. He was simple and good, true, and in touch with the verities of life--down under the veneer imposed upon him by his vocation and position upon the stage.
She answered him as frankly and simply as he had spoken to her; she was voicing her thoughts, no more, no less. Almost instinctively she called him by his Christian name. She hardly knew that she did it. He had bared his soul to her and she felt that she had known him for years and had always known him.
"It"s not possible in that way, Aubrey," she said. "I know it isn"t, I can"t give you any explanation. There is no one else, but, somehow, I know it within me. But, believe me, I do care for you, I honour and respect you. I like you more than almost any one I have ever met. I will be your friend for ever and ever. But what you ask is not mine to give. I can only say that." The pain on his face deepened. "I knew," he answered sadly, "I knew that is what you would say, and, indeed, who am I that you should love me? But you said"--he hesitated--"you said that there was no one else."
She nodded, hardly trusting herself to speak, for his face was a wedge of sheer despair. "Then," he said suddenly, more to himself than to her, "then perhaps some day I may have another chance." He dropped her hands and half turned from her. "G.o.d bless you, dear," he said simply, "and now let us forget what has pa.s.sed for the present and resume ordinary relations again. Remember that both for the sake of our art, our own reputations, and the cause we believe in, _The Socialist_ has got to be a success."
In a minute more they were both eagerly discussing the technical theatre business which was the occasion of their meeting. Both found it a great relief.
Almost before they had concluded Flood was called away, and Mary, looking at her watch, found that she might as well go down to Westminster at once, for though the Roses did not lunch until a quarter before two there was no object in going back to her flat. She went out into the surging roar of Oxford Street at high noon, momentarily confusing and bewildering after the gloom and semi-silence of the empty theatre. Her idea had been to walk through the park, but when she began she found that the scene through which she had pa.s.sed had left her somewhat shaken. She trembled a little, her limbs were heavy, she could not walk.
She got into a hansom and was driving down Park Lane, thinking deeply as she rolled easily along that avenue of palaces. She knew well enough that in a sense a great honour had been done her. There was no one on the stage with a better reputation than Aubrey Flood. He was a leading actor; he was a gentleman against whom nothing was said; he was rich, influential, and charming. Sincerity was the keynote of his life.
Hundreds of girls, as beautiful and cleverer than she was--so she thought to herself--would have gladly accepted all he had to offer. She was a humble-minded girl, entirely bereft of egotism or conceit, and she felt certain that Aubrey Flood might marry almost any one for choice.
She had always liked him, now she did far more than that. A real affection for him had blossomed in her heart, and yet it was no more than that. Why had she not accepted him? She put the answer away from her mind; she would not, dare not, face it.
There are few people with sensitive minds who take life seriously, who value their own inward and spiritual balance, that have not experienced--at some time or another--this most serious of all sensations recurring within the hidden citadel of the soul.
A thought is born, a thought we are afraid of. It rises in the subconscious brain, and our active and conscious intelligence tells us that one thing is there. We are aware of its presence, but we shun it, push it away, try to forget it. We exercise our will and refuse to allow it to become real to us. It was thus with Mary now.
Mrs. Rose met her in the hall of the beautiful and artistic little house in Westminster. She kissed the girl affectionately.
"I shall be busy for half an hour, dear," she said; "household affairs, you know. Fabian is out; he went to breakfast with Mr. Goodrick this morning to discuss the Press campaign in connection with the play. But he"ll be back to lunch, and he"ll go with you to the rehearsal this afternoon. Take your things off in my room and go into the drawing-room.
The weekly papers have just come, and there are all these. I will send the morning papers up, too."
Mary did as she was bid. The beautiful drawing-room was bright and cheery, as the sunlight poured into it and a wood fire crackled merrily upon the hearth.
She sat down with a sigh of relief. Unwilling to think, yet afraid of the restful silence which was so conducive to thought, she took up one of the morning papers and opened it. Her eyes fell idly upon the news column for a moment, and then she grew very pale while the crisp sheet rustled in her hands.
She saw two oval portraits. One was of the Duke of Paddington, an excellent likeness of the young man as she knew him and had seen him look a thousand times.
The second portrait, which was joined and looped to the first by a decoration of true lover"s knots, was that of a girl of extraordinary and patrician beauty. Underneath this was the name, "The Lady Constance Camborne."