That is what Lilly said to comfort Konrad when uncertainty as to the immediate future weighed upon him heavily.
Five days pa.s.sed before the answer came upon which depended the weal or woe of two human beings.
In reading it, Lilly saw the crafty eyes of the photograph turned upon her as if the old man stood there in person.
"My dear boy:--
I don"t understand anything about _kallokagathia_ or similar phrases. It"s nearly half a century ago, since I ran away from school. But I flatter myself that I can measure things pretty accurately with my eyes, and size people up by their faces, whether striking a bargain or on the Yoshiwara, whether on the various exchanges or at baccarat. Which did not keep me from being fleeced, or my life from being a series of stupidities, especially in regard to women. Once I wanted, whether or no, to bring along a young Circa.s.sian, because her eyebrows met prettily; and once I wanted to marry a little Musme because she ma.s.saged my legs so well, etc. I won"t say anything of my various attempts to save souls, because everybody goes through that.
However, the G.o.d of old rogues and bachelors--perhaps with your cla.s.sical knowledge you can tell me his name--mercifully kept any of my plans from maturing.
But your case seems to be essentially different. If it"s really as you say, if your betrothed is really such a paragon of virtues--the world is full of surprises--and, chief of all, if she does not pose as a repentant Magdalene and bank upon your pity, it will be a pleasure to me to tweak Mr. Respectability"s nose and give you my cordial blessing.
But if your intentions bear a certain family resemblance to my own in the past, then pardon me if I refuse to shoulder the responsibility for what you are pleased to call your "future,"
even with this in view, and if I feel compelled to beg you kindly to break off your connections with me.
In order to settle the matter to the best of my ability, I will be in Berlin day after to-morrow; and I herewith ask you and your betrothed to keep the evening free for your old uncle. As I do not know where you metropolitans dine and drink, I will have to let you know the place of our meeting after I reach Berlin.
Until then,
Yours faithfully, Uncle Rennschmidt."
For the first time in that gloomy period Lilly saw Konrad"s face relax with a smile of relief.
"If that"s his att.i.tude, then there"s no danger," he said. "He will have to drop his distrust at the very first glance. Who in the world can withstand you? You just have to be a little pleasant to him, and he"ll be your adorer."
But Lilly had her private opinion.
Yes, if she had her former wardrobe to choose from, perhaps she might be sure of presenting the appearance she should to his uncle. But in either one of her two ridiculous shop-girl dresses, which she had to pin painstakingly before she could wear them, without jewellery, or the thousand little appurtenances of a fine toilet, from where, in such circ.u.mstances, was she to summon the self-confidence that would force the shrewd old woman connoisseur to capitulate?
"I"m afraid I"ll have to have some of your money for getting an evening costume," she said hesitatingly.
He acquiesced with pleasure. She was to have whatever she still needed, and a hat with plumes and a lace mantilla, just like the one she had had.
All this for two hundred and sixty marks.
This, the entire sum he had left, was what he handed over to her for her new purchases.
The dear boy, what sort of an idea did he have of fashionable dressing?
After he left she carefully considered ways and means.
While she wore herself out devising methods of patching up some sort of costume, the most glorious dresses hung by the dozens in her old closets, dresses which Konrad had not seen, because he had never gone to any festive gathering with her. The lace mantilla which had cost a small fortune was also there, and goodness knows what else!
But with all her might she cast the temptation from her. She had given him her word of honour.
She might deceive everybody else in the world, but not Konrad.
So she decided to go on a shopping expedition the next morning and see whether she could not ferret out a good garment at Gerson"s or Wertheim"s in the reduced stock.
But she was known in the shops, and the salespeople had had the experience that despite her economy she always bought nothing but the very best. How they would stare if she appeared at the counter in her tawdry trash.
No, with the best intentions she could not place herself in so distressing a situation.
She pondered a long time, but her thoughts kept returning to those wardrobes where her exquisite treasures reposed, and silently offered a wide choice.
But nowhere a little back door to slip through; nowhere a pretext for lessening the gravity of the offence.
Despite all these vexations, the night pa.s.sed in caressing dreams, lighted by newly arisen hope.
And as always when Lilly"s frame of mind in sleep was healthy, she felt she was being peacefully rocked to the rhythm of familiar melodies. She recognised the "Moonlight Sonata," and Grieg"s "Ung Birken," and the motifs of the Rhine Daughters, and mingling with them all the Song of Songs.
As she was coming out of her sleep in the morning, she still heard: "Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field."
Suddenly with an exclamation of fright she sat up in bed.
The Song of Songs--the score--her treasure--her legacy--where was it? In the drawing-room secretaire--buried, forgotten.
Not to have thought of it once!
Now there was no possibility of abiding by her promise. If she had kept her wits about her that momentous night, she would never have given it.
She had been at a loss for a pretext, and here she had a justification.
She did not experience the slightest pangs of conscience. It was a sacred cause that she was upholding.
By eight o"clock she was already on her way to her former home.
The sunny haze of the red August morning floated up to the violet-coloured heavens; sooty drops fell from the yellowing trees, and the wires of the electric trams sang their stormy song.
Lilly joined the group of people at the nearest stopping place, which from minute to minute waxed and dwindled. While waiting for a car to convey her to the distant west side, she looked about in all directions to see whether by chance Konrad was coming down the street.
In the car she sat with a newspaper held close to her face, and on the short path along the ca.n.a.l she slipped from tree to tree like a wild animal seeking cover.
At last she reached her house.
The porter, who was sweeping the front, greeted her with a shout of surprise. The green-grocer smiled a mischievous greeting up to her from his cellar door, and his two urchins, in whose mind Lilly was connected with sweets, hung to her skirt with happy little noises.
All this instantly produced a sensation of returning home.
Adele was still asleep. Why should she not be? She had nothing to do.
When she opened the door, she showed the greatest delight. She even wept great tears, and Lilly suddenly realised what she was losing in her.
Everything shone spick and span in the morning sunlight. Even the flowers had been kept watered.
The canary beat his wings by way of greeting, and Peter wanted to break the bars of his cage to reach Lilly"s shoulder.
She did not know to whom or to what to turn first from sheer love, nor what question to ask first.