And all seem bright and happy, and have one To keep them so--I only sit alone.
XVII.
I sit alone as they pa.s.s joyous by, Nor note my presence; or, if they should see, Their eyes but rest upon me absently, Then turn away. They all are strange to me, And I to them. More lonely is my mood Here, than in Nature"s wildest solitude.
XVIII.
A pang of emulation, so severe "Tis almost envy, now possesses me; And, were I woman, many a bitter tear Would course my cheeks. But now I am not free To weep; my heart, though throbbing in its pain, Uneased and comfortless must yet remain.
XIX.
Why stand I thus, and gaze upon this scene, Since gazing but rewakes the pain that slept?
I had not thought that I should thus have been So quickly cheated of the strength which kept My heart from sorrowing. My pliant thought, Suspecting not this subtlety, was caught,
XX.
And I was self-deceived, as many more Before have been. Man estimates his power By what he _would_ do; and but little store Can well be placed on this, what time the hour Of trial approaches. For "tis sadly true, Man often cannot what he wills to do.
XXI.
His strength is not so great as he had thought It would be; and perchance, the hour of trial Has come and gone, and quick defeat has brought, Without his recognition. But denial That it has come he dare not now put forth, His plain defeat would make it little worth.
XXII.
And such defeat, unnoted and unseen Till it had pa.s.sed, has been my own to-day; And, with a sense of mortified chagrin, I turn me from the pleasing view away, And in the busy city seek to find A new diversion to engage my mind.
XXIII.
How pleasing are thy streets and avenues, Toronto! And what ma.s.sive buildings rise Adorning them! I cannot now but choose To speak my admiration. Yet it lies Beyond my power to praise as others might, More rich than I in words, this n.o.ble sight.
XXIV.
One mighty pile stands out pre-eminent Among the rest--thy University, So builded that itself will represent Its purpose, and to see it is to be Convinced, ere word of mouth so testifies, That "twas designed for cla.s.sic purposes.
XXV.
The square-built tow"r, the pillared entrance-way, The ma.s.sive doors, and this encolumned porch, Proclaim that here stern Learning holdeth sway, And here the cla.s.sic Muse illumes her torch And, standing thus, a grand, imposing whole, It well may awe my poor untutored soul.
XXVI.
I wander on along the tree-girt streets, Admiring, by compulsion, all the view.
So pleasing is each changing sight that greets My eye, as thus I slowly wander through The city, that had Fate not bid me roam In exile, here I"d gladly make my home.
XXVII.
Here happy homes surround me, but the sight Of happiness is but a mockery To me. My life is like a darkened night, And happiness was not prepared for me; And rankest disappointment, unalloyed With hope, my trustful patience has destroyed.
XXVIII.
Toronto, fare thee well! I cannot stay Within thy gates. Eternal restlessness Possesses me. I must pursue my way, Though other cities will impress me less Than thou hast done. My native land apart, Thou standest first in this my weary heart.
XXIX.
Niagara"s small village quiet lies Where flows the river in the open lake.
The thought of long-past actions sanctifies This little spot. For those brave soldiers" sake Who gladly gave their lives a sacrifice To country, it is hallowed in my eyes.
x.x.x.
Here Britain"s sons, and here Canadians Were slaughtered by the ruthless enemy, Who swept the country o"er in furtherance Of their unjust desire to gratify Their evil wish, to tear from England"s hand The part still left her in this Western land.
x.x.xI.
Americans, how sadly should ye mourn The action of your rulers on that day, When unrelenting enmity was sworn Against your fathers" land. Ye cannot say, As six and thirty years before ye said, That gross oppression justified your deed.
x.x.xII.
Nay, ye were young, and, in ambition"s youth, Ye sought to raise you to a greater state, And waited not to think of honour"s truth, But rushed to war in hope to alienate The fair domain of Canada, which lay, Apparently, a not unwilling prey.
x.x.xIII.
Speak not of Council Orders,[E] nor essay To prove that these alone provoked the war.
The orders were rescinded ere the day Of fighting broke.[F] Not these ye battled for.
Nor did the Rights of Search[G] enrage ye so As to compel your being England"s foe.
x.x.xIV.
Ye wanted more dominion--this alone Provoked your action; and, since every nation In Europe in a state of war was thrown, Your action merits not such condemnation As otherwise it would. The rage of war Is quickly spread to nations near and far.
x.x.xV.