There was much talk of aurae at that time, and Fred mused that every beautiful, every compellingly beautiful woman, had an aura, whether other people did or no. There was, certainly, about the woman he had brought up from Mexico, such an emanation. She existed in more s.p.a.ce than she occupied by measurement. The enveloping air about her head and shoulders was subsidized--was more moving than she herself, for in it lived the awakenings, all the first sweetness that life kills in people.
One felt in her such a wealth of JUGENDZEIT, all those flowers of the mind and the blood that bloom and perish by the myriad in the few exhaustless years when the imagination first kindles. It was in watching her as she emerged like this, in being near and not too near, that one got, for a moment, so much that one had lost; among other legendary things the legendary theme of the absolutely magical power of a beautiful woman.
After they had left Thea at her hotel, Dr. Archie admitted to Fred, as they walked up Broadway through the rapidly chilling air, that once before he had seen their young friend flash up into a more potent self, but in a darker mood. It was in his office one night, when she was at home the summer before last. "And then I got the idea," he added simply, "that she would not live like other people: that, for better or worse, she had uncommon gifts."
"Oh, we"ll see that it"s for better, you and I," Fred rea.s.sured him.
"Won"t you come up to my hotel with me? I think we ought to have a long talk."
"Yes, indeed," said Dr. Archie gratefully; "I think we ought."
V
THEA was to sail on Tuesday, at noon, and on Sat.u.r.day Fred Ottenburg arranged for her pa.s.sage, while she and Dr. Archie went shopping. With rugs and sea-clothes she was already provided; Fred had got everything of that sort she needed for the voyage up from Vera Cruz. On Sunday afternoon Thea went to see the Harsanyis. When she returned to her hotel, she found a note from Ottenburg, saying that he had called and would come again to-morrow.
On Monday morning, while she was at breakfast, Fred came in. She knew by his hurried, distracted air as he entered the dining-room that something had gone wrong. He had just got a telegram from home. His mother had been thrown from her carriage and hurt; a concussion of some sort, and she was unconscious. He was leaving for St. Louis that night on the eleven o"clock train. He had a great deal to attend to during the day.
He would come that evening, if he might, and stay with her until train time, while she was doing her packing. Scarcely waiting for her consent, he hurried away.
All day Thea was somewhat cast down. She was sorry for Fred, and she missed the feeling that she was the one person in his mind. He had scarcely looked at her when they exchanged words at the breakfast-table.
She felt as if she were set aside, and she did not seem so important even to herself as she had yesterday. Certainly, she reflected, it was high time that she began to take care of herself again. Dr. Archie came for dinner, but she sent him away early, telling him that she would be ready to go to the boat with him at half-past ten the next morning. When she went upstairs, she looked gloomily at the open trunk in her sitting-room, and at the trays piled on the sofa. She stood at the window and watched a quiet snowstorm spending itself over the city. More than anything else, falling snow always made her think of Moonstone; of the Kohlers" garden, of Thor"s sled, of dressing by lamplight and starting off to school before the paths were broken.
When Fred came, he looked tired, and he took her hand almost without seeing her.
"I"m so sorry, Fred. Have you had any more word?"
"She was still unconscious at four this afternoon. It doesn"t look very encouraging." He approached the fire and warmed his hands. He seemed to have contracted, and he had not at all his habitual ease of manner.
"Poor mother!" he exclaimed; "nothing like this should have happened to her. She has so much pride of person. She"s not at all an old woman, you know. She"s never got beyond vigorous and rather dashing middle age." He turned abruptly to Thea and for the first time really looked at her.
"How badly things come out! She"d have liked you for a daughter-in-law.
Oh, you"d have fought like the devil, but you"d have respected each other." He sank into a chair and thrust his feet out to the fire.
"Still," he went on thoughtfully, seeming to address the ceiling, "it might have been bad for you. Our big German houses, our good German cooking--you might have got lost in the upholstery. That substantial comfort might take the temper out of you, dull your edge. Yes," he sighed, "I guess you were meant for the jolt of the breakers."
"I guess I"ll get plenty of jolt," Thea murmured, turning to her trunk.
"I"m rather glad I"m not staying over until to-morrow," Fred reflected.
"I think it"s easier for me to glide out like this. I feel now as if everything were rather casual, anyhow. A thing like that dulls one"s feelings."
Thea, standing by her trunk, made no reply. Presently he shook himself and rose. "Want me to put those trays in for you?"
"No, thank you. I"m not ready for them yet."
Fred strolled over to the sofa, lifted a scarf from one of the trays and stood abstractedly drawing it through his fingers. "You"ve been so kind these last few days, Thea, that I began to hope you might soften a little; that you might ask me to come over and see you this summer."
"If you thought that, you were mistaken," she said slowly. "I"ve hardened, if anything. But I shan"t carry any grudge away with me, if you mean that."
He dropped the scarf. "And there"s nothing--nothing at all you"ll let me do?"
"Yes, there is one thing, and it"s a good deal to ask. If I get knocked out, or never get on, I"d like you to see that Dr. Archie gets his money back. I"m taking three thousand dollars of his."
"Why, of course I shall. You may dismiss that from your mind. How fussy you are about money, Thea. You make such a point of it." He turned sharply and walked to the windows.
Thea sat down in the chair he had quitted. "It"s only poor people who feel that way about money, and who are really honest," she said gravely.
"Sometimes I think that to be really honest, you must have been so poor that you"ve been tempted to steal."
"To what?"
"To steal. I used to be, when I first went to Chicago and saw all the things in the big stores there. Never anything big, but little things, the kind I"d never seen before and could never afford. I did take something once, before I knew it."
Fred came toward her. For the first time she had his whole attention, in the degree to which she was accustomed to having it. "Did you? What was it?" he asked with interest.
"A sachet. A little blue silk bag of orris-root powder. There was a whole counterful of them, marked down to fifty cents. I"d never seen any before, and they seemed irresistible. I took one up and wandered about the store with it. n.o.body seemed to notice, so I carried it off."
Fred laughed. "Crazy child! Why, your things always smell of orris; is it a penance?"
"No, I love it. But I saw that the firm didn"t lose anything by me. I went back and bought it there whenever I had a quarter to spend. I got a lot to take to Arizona. I made it up to them."
"I"ll bet you did!" Fred took her hand. "Why didn"t I find you that first winter? I"d have loved you just as you came!"
Thea shook her head. "No, you wouldn"t, but you might have found me amusing. The Harsanyis said yesterday afternoon that I wore such a funny cape and that my shoes always squeaked. They think I"ve improved. I told them it was your doing if I had, and then they looked scared."
"Did you sing for Harsanyi?"
"Yes. He thinks I"ve improved there, too. He said nice things to me. Oh, he was very nice! He agrees with you about my going to Lehmann, if she"ll take me. He came out to the elevator with me, after we had said good-bye. He said something nice out there, too, but he seemed sad."
"What was it that he said?"
"He said, "When people, serious people, believe in you, they give you some of their best, so--take care of it, Miss Kronborg." Then he waved his hands and went back."
"If you sang, I wish you had taken me along. Did you sing well?" Fred turned from her and went back to the window. "I wonder when I shall hear you sing again." He picked up a bunch of violets and smelled them. "You know, your leaving me like this--well, it"s almost inhuman to be able to do it so kindly and unconditionally."
"I suppose it is. It was almost inhuman to be able to leave home, too,--the last time, when I knew it was for good. But all the same, I cared a great deal more than anybody else did. I lived through it. I have no choice now. No matter how much it breaks me up, I have to go. Do I seem to enjoy it?"
Fred bent over her trunk and picked up something which proved to be a score, clumsily bound. "What"s this? Did you ever try to sing this?" He opened it and on the engraved t.i.tle-page read Wunsch"s inscription, "EINST, O WUNDER!" He looked up sharply at Thea.
"Wunsch gave me that when he went away. I"ve told you about him, my old teacher in Moonstone. He loved that opera."
Fred went toward the fireplace, the book under his arm, singing softly:--
"EINST, O WUNDER, ENTBLUHT AUF MEINEM GRABE, EINE BLUME DER ASCHE MEINES HERZENS;"
"You have no idea at all where he is, Thea?" He leaned against the mantel and looked down at her.
"No, I wish I had. He may be dead by this time. That was five years ago, and he used himself hard. Mrs. Kohler was always afraid he would die off alone somewhere and be stuck under the prairie. When we last heard of him, he was in Kansas."
"If he were to be found, I"d like to do something for him. I seem to get a good deal of him from this." He opened the book again, where he kept the place with his finger, and scrutinized the purple ink. "How like a German! Had he ever sung the song for you?"
"No. I didn"t know where the words were from until once, when Harsanyi sang it for me, I recognized them."