Asrar knew that this belonged among some of the stupidest things he had ever done. Holding Hazel on his lap was definitely not one of his smartest moves. But she was so worried about her father and scared for her brother that he needed to step up for her.Still, holding her like this was highly uncomfortable. Even though Asrar had not cherished any dreams of romance, he was still a man and having an attractive young woman sitting on top of him did affect him. As much as he wished it did not.
When she started talking to him, he latched onto it as a way to distract himself from all the little things he really did not want to dwell on. Such as how perfectly she seemed to fit into his arms or how soft her body was or the way her hair smelled of cinnamon. Or the memory of the kisses she had given him.
When she fell quiet again, he tried to continue distracting himself by thinking of her brother. Heron was one of the few people, other than Hazel, who he was truly fond of. The sickly prince had such a cheerful att.i.tude and was so friendly to everyone that it was really hard not to like him.
Thinking about Heron though may not have been the smartest choice for Asrar when he was trying to distract himself from the wreck he was turning into. While most of the time thinking about a girl"s brother, who happened to be a fairly close friend, would serve as a really good deterrent from any of those desires, in this case it actually did not help at all.
This was because Heron had often, obviously, hinted to Asrar that he would rather like him as a brother-in-law. To the point that Asrar could not really ignore the hints, as much as he would like to. He almost groaned at the thought that Hazel"s biggest wingman had always been her own brother.
He had always pushed it aside because as long as he could tell himself that Hazel only viewed him as a friend then he could keep himself from dwelling on it. But she had taken that away from him when she had kissed him.
He let out a sigh and dropped his head against her shoulder. He was tired of this. Tired of blocking out his own feelings. Of lying to her and pretending that he did not feel the same way for her.
"As?" Hazel"s voice had a questioning edge to it as she turned in his arms to get a good look at him.
He tightened his grip on her slightly as he did the last thing that he knew how to protect her from the road they were going down. He sent a prayer up to Xi"Eli that this would not end in heartbreak for her. He did not care about himself but Hazel was his princess, his world.
"Is everything okay?" Hazel seemed not to understand what he was doing. He could not blame her as he had done his best not to give any indication of how he felt for her.
"Yes." He murmured softly not quite daring to look at her. He wondered how long it would take for her to figure out that he had surrendered and she had won. He had always been hers, just he had never allowed himself to tell her that. But now, she so obviously wanted him and he was pretty sure that it really did not matter to her whether she got him or not, she would still be heartbroken.
It really did make it a moot point. Either way she would be heartbroken. Perhaps it was better to let her be happy for a bit. Maybe, just maybe, they could have years together.
He was still afraid for her but he no longer could do this…
"Uh…As?" A gentle touch on his cheek, "You know, if you keep this up, I will kiss you…" A giggle punctuated her words.
He looked sideways up at her, not daring to say anything. A part of him still wanted to pull away and try to make her forget about him, move on. Mostly, though, he just yearned for her.
She leaned towards him, pulling him closer as she did so. He closed his eyes as he felt her lips press against his own. For the first time, since she had started kissing him, he let himself kiss her back.
He felt her momentarily stiffen in shock before she relaxed. He barely managed not to tighten his arms any more as he really did not want to accidentally hurt her. Instead he tangled one of his hands in her hair as he tried to pour all his feelings into the kiss.
She was really trembling in his arms as they broke apart. He started memorizing the alluring look of shock mingled with happiness on her face.
Suddenly she squealed as she flung her arms around him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. His best friend, in his arms, was perhaps the single best memory that he had ever had. He really hoped this did not end in tears for her.