Far more beautiful up close.
Inquisitive too.
And though I long to rea.s.sure her, it serves no purpose to lie to her.
She teeters on the edge of the abyss. Stands a very good chance of tumbling in.
I press a finger to her lips and urge her toward silence. She can"t afford the luxury of speaking and thinking-can"t afford to expend the much-needed energy.
When her eyes flutter closed, I tighten my hold.
Every inhalation a prayer: Save her! Spare her!
Every exhalation indulging a long-dormant rage-cursing the lot of them.
She didn"t deserve this.
Never stood a chance against them. And, as it turns out, neither did I. Having failed in my bid to help her-look after her-guide her.
Though it"s not over yet.
I gaze upward, our destination still so far away. And though her heart continues to beat, it seems only to do so in order to pump more blood from her wound.
She"s fading.
There"s no way she"ll make it.
Yet she still summons the strength to ask if it"s snowing-hoping to leave a gift for her friends.
Ready to surrender to death just as soon as I confirm it. A trace of a smile lifting her cheeks as she rolls toward the edge.
And though I know it"s wrong-though I"ve been warned many times before-it doesn"t stop me from cupping her face in my hands and molding my lips tightly to hers.
My silent plea for forgiveness, chased by a single life-restoring breath.
Paloma "Come to the window, carino. It"s snowing. Looks like Daire has done it after all."
Chay looks at me, waiting patiently. But when I fail to join him, he crosses the room to the battered old table where I hunch over a book that"s been part of my life for so long, I can no longer remember a time before it.
"What are you looking at?" He rubs a comforting hand over my back.
I nod toward the codex. Robbed of my words along with my breath. Unsure if what I"m seeing is real, or if I"m merely a tired old woman gone suddenly mad. Needing him to confirm either way, and secretly hoping for the latter.
His whispered "My G.o.d" providing all the proof that I need to know it"s not me.
His strong arms fold around me, though it"s not enough to buffer me from the truth.
It really is happening.
A long-foretold future has gone into limbo.
The two of us huddle together, gazing upon the ancient tome. Watching as words that have remained there for centuries, slowly lift from the page.
Leaving a large blank s.p.a.ce where the prophecy stood.
"What does it mean?" Chay"s haunted eyes search mine.
I pull my red cardigan tightly around me and look toward a window framing a flurry of snow that falls from the sky.
Reluctant to admit I don"t know what it means.
I haven"t a clue.
For the first time in a long time, the answers elude me.
Phyre We"re more than halfway home when the snow begins to fall.
More than halfway home before my dad decides to acknowledge my presence in his car.
"Is it safe to a.s.sume you failed?" he asks in a voice as stern as his face-as stern as the harsh black suit that he wears.
I press my forehead to the window, stare into a wide expanse of night now glinting with white.
"Answer me!" He slams hard on the brakes. Stops the car right in the middle of the road, as though we"re the only ones on it. We are.
I press hard against the door, shoulders cringing inward. I"m in for it now.
I sneak a hand to my face, erasing the few tears I"ve indulged in before he can see them, knowing that"ll just make it worse.
This is my role. It"s not like I don"t know the part. I"ve been rehearsing since I was a child, since the day he pointed his finger at me, declaring that between me and my sisters, I was his Chosen One.
"Well?" he demands, refusing to move on until I provide the answer he seeks.
"It"s not as easy as you think," I say, regretting it the instant it"s out. It"s too defensive. Puts the blame more on him than me. I should know better. That sort of tactic never goes over well.
"Is that so?" He shifts in his seat, tugging hard on the cuff of his sleeves in the same way he does every Sunday, right before taking his pulpit. "Then maybe I should bring one of your sisters down here to take care of it for you. Ember or Ashe-which would you prefer?"
"Neither." The answer comes quickly, without hesitation. Swiveling in my seat until I"m fully facing him, I plead, "Leave them be. I can do it. I will do it. I just-"
He stares at me-his eyes dark and merciless.
"I just need a little more time. Two years is a long time to be gone. It"s like starting over. I have to build his trust again. It"s not so easy anymore. He has a girlfriend. Thinks he"s in love. And he is. I"ve seen the way he looks at her." The truth leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.
"Well then, I guess you"ll just have to find a way to distract him, won"t you?"
I swallow hard. Nod in the way he expects. Focusing my attention on the other side of the windshield, watching the snow collect in small scattered mounds on the car"s dirty white hood.
"Time"s running out." He eases off the brake, allowing for a slow roll down the dirt road.
Time"s always running out. Has been since I was a child.
"It"s already started. The signs are everywhere."
Everything"s a sign. A piece of toast weirdly burned-a cloud formation that resembles something unholy-a six-toed cat-he sees proclamations of doom wherever he looks.
"And you know what that means. You know what"s expected of you."
I nod again. I"ve spent my entire life training for the Last Days, if only to spare my sisters the task.
"Your sacrifice is a serious one, though it is for the greater good of all. You"ll be hailed as a savior-a saint!" He sings, eyes shining, lost in the false glories of his own weary diatribe. Never stopping to question why I would possibly care how I"m remembered when I"m dead. He turns, focusing hard on my eyes when he says, "Why is your makeup smeared? Were you crying?" His voice rises in outrage, prompting me to bring a hand to my face, wiping furiously at my eyelids, my cheeks. "You stop that at once! Do you hear me?"
He shoots me a look of warning, returning his focus to driving only when he"s sure I"m resigned to obedience. Falling into a welcomed silence for the rest of the ride, until he parks before the small, abandoned trailer he"s claimed as our home.
"I want the boy dead by New Year"s Eve," he says. "Long before the clock strikes twelve. Dace-Cade-doesn"t matter which. For all I can see, they"re one and the same. Ruled by darkness. The absolute manifestation of evil. You do your job right, make the sacrifice you were put on this earth for, and the Last Days will be followed by the Shining Days of Glory I"ve long since prophesized." He looks in the rearview mirror, adjusts the lapels of his suit-the one he saves for holidays, Sundays, and his most favored apocalyptical occasions.
"Would you look at that?" His voice turns bright and cheery as he glances at his c.r.a.ppy watch with the cheap leather band. "It"s the other side of midnight. Merry Christmas," he says.
"Merry Christmas," I repeat, dully.
Slipping free of the car and tipping my face toward the sky. Anointed by the snow left to melt on my cheeks, obscuring the tears I"m forbidden to cry.
Xotichl "Stop the car!"
Auden slams hard on the brakes, arcs his arm toward me, trying to protect me from crashing into the dashboard, but I"m already out the door.
Already seeking purchase with the slick, wet road, before moving to the center of the street where I turn my face skyward, allowing fat drops of snow to fall onto my cheeks.
"What are you doing? What is she doing?" Lita cries, throwing open her door and racing to catch up with me. Her tone instantly switching from reproach to delight when she says, "No. Freaking. Way!" She runs up beside me, as Auden joins me on my other side. "Time to pay up, Auden!" she cries, voice jubilant as she wraps her arms around me and does a little dance as she carefully spins me. "Looks like Xotichl was right-it really is the season of miracles!" She returns me to Auden, freeing herself to skip up and down the street. Or at least I think that"s what she"s doing judging by the surge in her energy, the swish of her feet.
"Hey, flower, looks like you got your Christmas wish after all. I promise I"ll never doubt you again." Auden"s lips find mine, his kiss reverent and sweet. Breaking away when he says, "So, why are you crying?"
I burrow deep into his arms, bury my head in the hollow of his neck. Seeking comfort in his strength, his scent-unwilling to speak the words aloud, make them any more real than they are in my head.
Unwilling to speak the horrible truth that lives deep inside me.
This is no ordinary snow flurry.
This is no meteorological inevitability.
Not when it sings like the wind-yet warms like the sun.
Falling from the sky in a rainbow of hues-accompanied by the most pure and glorious swell of symphony I"ve ever heard.
It"s the sound of angels.
It"s the sound of Daire saying good-bye.
Leaving us this one final gift-the snow as her elegy.
Dace "Where is she?"
I cast about wildly. The words hardly more than a wet gurgled rasp, but I know that he heard me. Know he understood exactly what I asked.
I can feel him beside me.
Inside me.
All around me.
The boundaries between us now blurred.
We"re connected like never before.
I gaze upon my freak of a twin, now returned to human form, bearing not a single mark-unlike me and the fountain of blood that continuously sprays from my neck.
Pressing a hand to my wound, hoping to stanch the flow, I gather the strength to say, "What the h.e.l.l have you done with her?"
While the question doesn"t sound quite like it did in my head, the smile that greets me is nothing shy of hideous, telling me he understood every word.
"Little glowing man took her," he says. "My guess is they"re headed for the Upperworld. A world you"ll never be able to crack. Or at least not now, anyway. They"re a snooty, elitist group. The ultimate country club. They don"t welcome our kind. Still, it"s not like that stops us from trying. I"m desperate to breach it, and I"ve no doubt I will. I hear everything sparkles and glows in those parts-that they have a perfect view of everyone else. I"d really love to see that. Maybe someday, we can." He shoots me a sardonic look.
I hate his use of we.
Hate that it"s true.
Hate that I was led by my hate.
Hate is the reason I"m here.
The reason I willfully blackened my soul in an effort to save her-only to watch the whole thing backfire-unable to do anything but watch as the dream played out before me.
And just like the dream-I was too late to save her.
"I love a good irony, don"t you?" Cade c.o.c.ks his head, leans down to pet his ghastly coyote. "Did you see the way she looked at you? Did you see that delicious mixture of shock, revulsion, and grief when she realized what you"d done, what you allowed yourself to become, in an effort to defeat me?"
I stagger forward, my head growing increasingly dizzy, my vision fuzzy and blurry. Fighting like h.e.l.l to steady myself-to erase the scene he paints in my mind, refusing to remember Daire in that way.
"Not to be rude, but I"m pretty sure it"s quick to become my most favorite memory reel. Such tragedy! Such folly!" He throws his head back and laughs, emitting a sound as sick and monstrous as he is. Encouraging Coyote to point his snout in the air and let loose a long, plaintive howl, the racket they make an unwelcome disruption in a land returning to peace. He quiets himself, returning to me when he says, "To watch you purposely become the very thing that you hate, in an utterly foolish, and completely misguided effort to kill me-only to have that same transformation serve as the very thing that keeps you from her ... It"s priceless. Made to order. Too good to be true. I couldn"t have dreamed it any better!" He indulges himself in a fit of amus.e.m.e.nt, before he turns to me and says, "Don"t you know-you don"t attract what you want, brother? You attract what you are. Figured someone like you would"ve known that."
I press my hand to my neck, my fingers coming away slick and red. "You"ll pay for this!" I gasp. "I"ll make sure of it."
"Doubtful," Cade says. "After all, you"re the one bleeding, not me. You"re the one who lost his fated one. Time to face reality, brother. Even if she was alive when she left here, she"s most likely dropped her robe by now. Isn"t that how your pal Leftfoot would describe it-a disrobing of the body?" He pauses long enough to smirk and roll his eyes. "Anyway, bro, I"ve no doubt she"s dead on arrival. Next time we"ll see her is on the Day of the Dead, when she"s forced to pay her respects to the Bone Keeper. And I think we both know Leandro will forgive me well before then. He"s always favored me. Has plenty to learn from me, whether he wants to admit it or not. In the end, this is no more than a speed b.u.mp-my life remains right on course. While yours, on the other hand, is anything but." He gestures toward my bleeding, wounded neck. "You know that"s going to leave a scar, right? Yet another way they"ll be able to tell us apart. When you think about it, it"s really quite funny-the more you tried to become like me, the more you set yourself apart. If anyone failed tonight, brother, it"s you."
I allow my eyes to drift closed, relishing the reprieve. But it"s only a second later when they"re open again, and I"m wiping my bloodied hands over my jeans. Gazing around a world returning to its former beauty, knowing it"s Daire"s doing.
The legacy she left us.
The least I can do is make sure it continues.