The candle had long since burned itself out, and the gray of the morning was beginning to struggle in at every opening when I gave up the contest.
"Mistress Routh," said I, smiling at the odd address, "I have been overlong in coming to my business. I am a proscribed rebel with a price set on my head, and I seek a new lodging, my old one being unsafe. I was directed here almost by chance. Can you give me such room as you can spare? There is but little or no danger in harbouring me, for I am reported to be in Scotland with the Prince, "the Young Pretender," if you like it so. I will be as circ.u.mspect in my movements as possible. Above all, I will never shew by word or sign that I knew you before, even when we are alone, nor will I betray your secret to our boy. You are free to refuse me, and should you do so, I will seek shelter elsewhere; but whether I go or stay, I give you my word of honour as a gentleman that your secret rests where it lies in my heart until such time as you see fit to proclaim it yourself. Will you, then, consent to let me have a room under your roof until such time as I can get over to France?"
After a little she said: "Yes; I can take your word. But remember, from this night you are a stranger to me. You will pay as a stranger, and come and go as a stranger."
And so this unnatural treaty was ratified. My hostess made such preparation for my comfort as I would allow, and when alone I sate on my couch trying to put my thoughts in order.
It was only then that Margaret came back to me. During my long struggle with my poor wife no thought of another had entered my mind, my whole endeavour being directed towards making such amends for the cruelties of an undeserved fate as were possible; but now, when alone, the realisation of what it meant in my relation towards Margaret overwhelmed me. All unwittingly I had been playing the part of a low scoundrel towards the fairest, purest soul in the whole world; I had been living in a Fool"s Paradise, drinking the sweetest draught that ever intoxicated a human soul, and now, without an instant"s warning, the cup was dashed from my lips.
Poor Margaret! Poor Lucy! Poor Hugh! My heart was aching for them all.
CHAPTER IV
IN WHICH I MAKE ACQUAINTANCE WITH ONE NEAR TO ME
I stretched myself out at length, with my cloak over me, and dozed uneasily until awakened by a soft knocking at the door, which was slowly pushed open, and a brown head made its appearance in the room.
"Come in!" I cried, and there entered to me as handsome a boy of six as ever delighted a man"s eyes.
I would have given the world to take him to my heart, but I was on parole. So we stared at each other, and I can only hope he was as well satisfied with his inspection as I was with mine.
"Does your mother know of your coming?" I asked, for I was determined to take no unfair advantage.
"She told me I could come," he answered, without any backwardness, yet with modesty.
"Good. Well, what do you think?"
"Why do you sleep in your clothes?"
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Why do you sleep in your clothes?"]
"Oh, a soldier often sleeps in his clothes."
"But I don"t think you"re a soldier."
"Why?"
"Where is your sword?"
"I"ll get that by-and-by."
"If I was a soldier I"d sleep with my sword."
"Well, you"d find it a mighty uncomfortable bedfellow," I answered, laughing. At which he laughed too, and we were fast becoming friends.
"Will you be a soldier?" I went on.
"I don"t know. What"s your name?"
"One moment, my young diplomat. Do you never answer a question but by asking another? Surely you"re not a Scotchman?"
"I don"t know."
"Well, what do you think you are?"
"I think I"m a Methodist."
"So you are. But that may be much the same thing, for aught I know.
My name"s Captain Geraldine. Now tell me yours."
"Christopher. Can you sing?"
"I can sing, my boy, like a mavis, like a bird-of-paradise. Would you like to taste my quality?" and without more ado I sang to him.
"The span o" Life"s nae lang eneugh, Nor deep eneugh the sea, Nor braid eneugh this weary warld To part my Love frae me."
"I like that," he said, gravely, when I had made an end. "You sing well."
"So I have been informed, sir; and I am most sensible of your confirmation of the favourable verdict, which is flattering beyond my poor deserts."
But he did not find this at all to his taste, and I was sorry to see my untimely nonsense caused him to shrink somewhat from me, which hurt me to a degree I could not have believed possible.
But my embarra.s.sment was relieved by his mother"s voice calling us from the foot of the stairs, and hand in hand we went down together.
I looked at my hostess with much curiosity, and found her quiet and serene, though the traces of the anxiety of overnight were visible in her pale face and tired eyes.
"Good-morning, Mistress Routh."
"Good-morning, Captain Geraldine. I see my boy has taken to you; it is a good sign."
The words were like balm to me, and I looked at her searchingly to see expected signs of relenting, but I recognised only too clearly it was the kindly civility of an entire stranger, and I felt more strongly than at any moment before that the door of the past was irrevocably closed between us.
I sate down at the table, but she remained standing, and folding her hands, repeated a long grace. It was so utterly strange, so utterly foreign to all I had ever known of her, that it deepened the impression tenfold that I belonged to a world apart from hers.
In a sense it shocked my feeling of what was proper. Her Protestantism had never been any barrier in our life together, for I have known too many different ways to happiness not to believe there may be more than one to heaven. I have known too many devout Protestants to have a shadow of doubt as to their sincerity; but I have always been a believer in the established order of things, and for a woman to take any part in matters religious, beyond teaching her children their hymns and prayers, was foreign to my experience.
We ate our breakfast to the accompaniment of the boy"s chatter, and if there were any embarra.s.sment, I am free to confess it was on my side alone. I could perfectly understand her courage and resolution of the night before, but this wonderful acting was simply marvellous; it was, as far as I knew, no more possible to the Lucy I had known than talking Castilian; but, upon my soul, I never admired her more in my life. This, however, I took good care not to shew in word or gesture: if she had so utterly renounced all vanities and pomps, why should she have the incense of admiration?
She would probably consider it an offering to idols.
"Mistress Routh, if my presence will not discommode you, I purpose to lie quiet for a day or two, until I can get such clothes as may serve both as a change of character and a more fitting appearance for myself. Do you happen to know of so rare a bird as a periwig-maker who can keep his counsel? If I could have such an one attend me here, I could at least do away with this lanky hair and fit myself to a decent wig; then I could venture out under cover of a cloak, and find a tailor to complete the transformation. But I take it you may know but little of these manlike fripperies."
"I do know a man who may be trusted, who, though a member of our Society, is forced to gain his living by like vanities," she returned.
"Madam," said I, "you evidently do not estimate the quality of vanity at its proper value. Now I hold it in reality to be the eighth of the Cardinal Virtues. I have known it to keep men from being slovenly through their regard for the outward respect of others, and cleanliness comes very near to G.o.dliness. I have known it to keep men out of low company through their desire to catch a reflected glory from their superiors, and company is an informant of character. I have even known it to make men open-handed through a dislike to appear n.i.g.g.ardly in public, and--" But I saw a look of such evident distress on the face before me that I checked my flight in very pity. A man with any sensibility will find himself constantly curbed by his regard for the feelings of others.
When Mistress Routh"s a.s.sistant appeared I took the opportunity of sending a note to Lady Jane, telling of my whereabouts, and that I would present myself in a day or two when I had effected sufficient change in my appearance.