Impossible.That can"t be.
I mean... ...he and I are complete polar opposites.
The Calamitis I wrote about was a fearless, heartless a.s.shole who cared not for morals. The words "Shame" and "Embarra.s.sment" didn"t even exist in his vocabulary.
Compared to him, I"m a cowardly daisy.
I"m a really nice person. (Although I do admit I"m a bit of a sn.o.b.) I"m also lazy and introverted. Oh! and I can"t forget! I"m DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Emphasis on the "Deathly".
There"s just no way!
Maybe this is a coincidence, right?
Right!
Okay, let"s test this out. In my novel I had written that when Calamitis opened the shining door, he was met with a System message that asked if Calamitis wanted his freedom. He of course answered "Yes" and was then was asked if he was willing to be a teacher to Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. Who are these two gentlemen you may ask? Why, they"re the Protagonist and Antagonist of course!
If I am really Calamitis, and not some random smoke monster thingy which had coincidentally coincided with Calamitis"s plot, then I should be asked to teach Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. If I am not, I should be asked some other random question like, I don"t know, do you wish to gain your freedom by turning into a donkey? Honestly any question is better than being here as long as I am not Calamitis.
Okay...
It"s time for the moment of truth.
I slowly reached out my left hand and held the k.n.o.b.
I took a a deep breath. I then slowly exhaled.
One...
Two...
Three...
GO!
I pushed open the door with all my force, making it slam open with a loud "BANG!"
...
...
...
Am I safe?
Just beyond the door is a completely white room.
I wasn"t given a System message... ...do I go in?
I lifted up my leg.
And at this moment, I decided to quote Neil Armstrong and say: "That"s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".
Because honestly, the fate of mankind rests on who or what I really am.
...
I step into the room.
And then it came.
[Ding!]
[h.e.l.lo, resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls. I"m sure you"ve had enough time to reflect on your mistakes. That is why I will give you an opportunity. Do you want your freedom?]
OH! IT CAME!
"Yes, please."
I decided to be polite for good measure.
[Well, isn"t that refreshing? Well, dear resident. Are you willing to complete a task for me? Don"t worry, it"s an easy one. Even a toddler could do it. Would you please teach and raise two very important individuals for me? Their names are Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston.]
（＊〇□〇）...!
...
This must be a prank, right?
I just got here... ...am I really fated to destroy the world? I"m pretty sure that over time, this world will get to me and I"ll want to keep it safe.
Another thing--I can"t kill anyone. Yeah, sure, I think I can stomach killing a squirrel or something but a Human? Or Elf? Or Beast man?
NO WAY!
There is no way in h.e.l.l that I"d be able to do that!
And besides, what if I meet up with Calamitis"s father? He"s going to beat the s.h.i.t out of me because his a.s.shole (and bad a.s.s) son became a milk-drinking, blanket-hugging coward!
Just thinking about it makes me shiver with fear.
"No." I decisively answered the System. I"d rather stay in this h.e.l.l hole then experience the life of a world destroyer!
I was greeted with silence. Oddly enough, I didn"t get another message. Neither did the door close on me like it should.
Did the System glitch out on me? Or is it still processing?
I waited for a few seconds before I attempted to step back into the Corridor of Wandering Souls.
That"s right. I ATTEMPTED to step back.
But guess what happened?
You guessed it.
I can"t move.
Not. An. Inch.
Urrrrrrrgghhhhhh. Move you d.a.m.n foot!
Systemmmm!!! I know this is your doiiiiinnnggg!!! Why?!
I played a game of internal tug-of-war before I gave up.
"System?" I asked the white void. I didn"t really expect an answer back.
[Could you please repeat your answer, o" resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls?]
Oh s.h.i.t.
Was the answer "No" just a fancy decoration?
That is just f.u.c.ked up!
As a human, I have my rights! I"ll get my lawyer on you System once I find one!
"Yes."
Fine. I"ll play your game...
..until I think of a better plan.
You won"t get away with this!
Because believe or not, I"m your Darth Vader!
I"M YOUR FATHERRRRRR!!!!!