"I know all about that, dear, we so frequently are," Mrs. Morrison replied, smiling a little all to herself. "But," she added, "you ought to be happy to-day. I came up to congratulate you on your story."
"I have had three taken this week, and instead of being happy I hate it all!" Lillian"s head went down on the papers again.
By dint of much patient encouragement and real sympathetic interest the story came out by degrees; all the hidden sorrow of months found an outlet in the broken little confession. Not very clearly told, it was yet plain enough in a general way.
A boy and girl friendship had grown into something stronger. Only a year ago they had made happy plans for the future they meant to spend together. Then came the misunderstanding--a trifling thing in the beginning, but which grew until she was convinced she had made a mistake, that she had never really cared. She felt she needed freedom to go her own way and do her own work. She would be independent and try life for herself.
He had laughed at first, and this hurt her pride. She would show him she was not a weak dependent creature, and with some bitter words they had parted.
"I thought I did not care--that I could be happy in my work. I meant to be famous and I did not mind being lonely," said Lillian; "but now that I am having a little success it means nothing because--" she hesitated, and Mrs. Morrison said softly--
"Success doesn"t mean much unless there is some one to share it and be glad with us.
"Yes, that is it. Perhaps if I were a genius it would be different, but I have only a poor little talent, after all. And I see how I was most to blame. I was hateful and proud--and now there is no help for it. I don"t know why I should tell it, except that you are so kind, for it cannot be undone, and I must learn to bear it."
"It is so much better for you to speak of it, dear. And do you know what I am thinking? That it is not easy to destroy the bridge between two hearts that really love; isn"t that it? All you can do is to wait and be patient, going on with your work and making yourself worthy of the best that can happen to you."
"But when one makes a mistake one has to bear the consequences," said Lillian, sadly.
"The pain and self-accusation--yes, but how often we are given the opportunity of undoing our mistakes. It is a hard, hard lesson you have to learn, but isn"t there a star of hope somewhere that you can fix your eyes upon. Forgive me for pressing your own moral upon you, but it has helped me and I want you to take comfort."
As Mrs. Morrison went slowly down stairs again, she said to herself, "Poor little girl! I wish I could help her; but if her lover is what he ought to be, he will come back, I am sure."
CHAPTER SIXTEENTH.
HARD TIMES.
Bad weather was predicted by the almanac for the first week in February, and bad weather prevailed both indoors and out.
Frances had an attack of grip which came near being pneumonia, and caused her mother some anxious days. Miss Sherwin, going in one evening to ask Zen.o.bia about the patient, found Mrs. Morrison herself in the kitchen, crying as if her heart would break, her face buried in one of her little daughter"s white ap.r.o.ns that lay on the ironing-board.
"Is she worse?" Lillian exclaimed, much alarmed, for surely it must be something serious to unnerve this bright, hopeful person.
"I don"t know--the doctor didn"t say so--but she is ill, and one can never tell. Oh, my darling baby!--if she should get worse, and Jack away--why did I let him go!" she began a trembling search for her handkerchief. "I left her with Zen.o.bia-- I couldn"t stand it any longer, but I must go back now," she said, wiping her eyes. "I know I am foolish, but I can"t help it."
"You are not foolish at all, but tired and anxious, poor child," said Lillian, with her arms around her. "Now listen to me; Frances is going to pull through, I am certain of it. The doctor would have said so, if he thought her very ill; but I am going to stay with you. I am a good nurse,-- I took care of my little cousin only a year ago, in just such an attack, and you may lie on the sofa and watch me."
"Oh, thank you, but--"
"Please don"t say a word, dear, for I know I can help. I am going to take Zen.o.bia"s place now, and you may come when you have bathed your face."
There was strength in Lillian"s quiet, confident tone; Mrs. Morrison smiled through her tears: "You will think me a great fraud, after all my good advice to you. Like the physician who gave up his profession to enter the ministry, I find it easier to preach than to practise."
"I am glad you are human," Lillian answered, and dropping a kiss on her forehead, she went to relieve Zen.o.bia.
She was quite right in thinking she could help, and during the few days while Frances lingered on the brink of a serious illness she was a tower of comfort and strength. The experience drew them closer together; and when the worst was over, and the patient convalescing, Mrs. Morrison said she believed it was worth all the anxiety to have found out this side of Lillian.
"I do want you and Jack to know each other," she said, and this meant that her new friend had been taken into the inner circle.
About this time the Spectacle Man sat at his desk in the room below with an anxious look on his usually cheery face. The storm cloud had settled upon him, too, and his trouble was a question of money.
The directors of a certain inst.i.tution in which he owned a good deal of stock had thought it wise to pa.s.s their semi-yearly dividend, and with hard times affecting everything more or less, he could not see how Mark was to be kept at school. Sitting there, he tortured himself with the thought of what he might have done if he had only foreseen. He called himself an old fogy, and wished he might be twenty years younger.
"The bridge is broke and I have to mend it."
The song rose to his lips unconsciously, and he hummed it in a dreary fashion that caused Peterkin to open his eyes. At least he did open them, and there was something in the serenity of those yellow orbs that recalled the Spectacle Man to himself.
"You are right, Peterkin, I am foolish, and I thank you for telling me so," he said, stooping to caress the smooth head. "There is always a way, and you"ll find it if you"ll keep your eyes open, and don"t let the clouds of despair and distrust gather and hide it," he continued to himself, and he began to sing again, this time in a cheery tone.
That same evening he went to see Mrs. Gray. It was a business call, for the old lady needed some stronger gla.s.ses, and could not get out in bad weather to attend to it herself; but after he had tried her eyes, they fell to talking about other matters.
Mrs. Gray was lonely and unhappy. Her only son was going to be married, and she knew she was a burden to him, and she wished she was dead. She had not meant to tell it, but the benevolent face of the Spectacle Man invited confidence.
He confessed to being blue himself, and then he told her briefly the story of the bridge.
"You may say it is all made up, but some way I know it is true," he added earnestly. "There is always a way, if only we are patient and don"t give up. You haven"t begun to be a burden yet, and I haven"t had to bring Mark home. We can"t _see_ the way, but if we go on a step at a time, we"ll find it."
Emma was also having a taste of bad weather. In the first place, the General had an illness much like Frances", and this meant that he must be kept in bed and amused from morning till night. Then Emma"s teacher decided to have her pupils give an entertainment on Washington"s Birthday, and Emma was selected among others to take part. It was an event of great importance to the school children, and at recess nothing else was talked about.
As Emma expressed it, she had never been _in_ anything before in her life, and no prima donna was ever more excited over her debut than she at the thought of this little recitation; but her pleasure met with a sudden check upon the discovery that a white dress would be necessary.
She hadn"t a white dress, and she knew it was hopeless to think of getting one in time, still she couldn"t help mentioning it to her mother.
"A white dress! Will you tell me how on earth you could get one? Even if I had the money to buy it, where would I find time to make it? It is all nonsense anyway." Mrs. Bond was tired out and spoke with more emphasis than she would otherwise have used.
Her daughter turned away quite crushed by the pitiless logic. She should have to tell Miss Ellen and the girls that she couldn"t be in it because she hadn"t any dress. She couldn"t help shedding some bitter tears, and that was how the Spectacle Man found out about it.
Her mother sent her into the shop to get some change, and his supply being low Mr. Clark despatched d.i.c.k to get some; then noticing the red eyes, he asked what the trouble was, and something in his kind, sympathetic face drew forth the story.
As he listened an idea came to the Spectacle Man. "Now, Emma," he said, "don"t worry any more about this till--well, till Monday morning. This is Friday, so you won"t have to do anything about it till then, and in the meantime something may happen. Indeed, I"m almost sure something will."
All this may not have been very logical, but Emma carried away her change with a much lighter heart.
That evening when Mrs. Morrison went in to pay her rent, she stopped to chat with the optician. Frances was eating oyster soup upstairs with Miss Sherwin and Zen.o.bia in attendance, and her mother was feeling very happy.
"Mrs. Morrison," Mr. Clark began in a somewhat embarra.s.sed manner as she was about to leave, "you know more of the value of such things than I do; do you think any of these old belongings of mine are worth anything?
In money, I mean." By a wave of his hand he seemed to indicate all that was in the room.
"I should think so. The portrait, of course, is, and that cabinet looks very handsome to me. Are you thinking of selling?" she asked.
"I may have to, the times are so hard, and Mark must be kept at school.
Some of my investments aren"t paying anything now." He paused a moment, then added, "You wouldn"t believe what a foolish old fellow I am, but I"d rather set my heart on giving that portrait to some collection. I have liked to think how it would look on the catalogue,--"Presented by George W. Clark"--all nonsense, of course. Some ladies were here to-day to ask if I would exhibit it. The Colonial Dames are to have a Loan Exhibit."
"I hope you will not have to sell it, but if you should, that will be an excellent way of advertising it. Oughtn"t you to let Mark know the state of affairs? Don"t spoil him; he is such a fine fellow," answered Mrs.
Morrison.